mrkillwolf666

Hazbin Exterminator part 4

May 3rd, 2021 (edited)
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  1. from /hewt/ - Hazbin Exterminator Writefag Thread #2 and #717 of /hhg/
  2. part 1: h ttps://pastebin.com/UpeTab0u
  3. part 2: h ttps://pastebin.com/gLUgKi5w
  4. part 3: h ttps://pastebin.com/aeEMJj3h
  5. h ttps://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/38386011/
  6. ---------------------------------------------------
  7. >The demons were prepping for the big day, everyone was so anxious about it, they have dealt with it numerous times, but it never stopped being horrific
  8. >The final hour drew nearer, it was time for them to come out soon, to soak in blood, to ferociously attack demons, they were excited, they did it so many times, but it never got old
  9. >Tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc.... Tic-tic, then all of a sudden, it became midnight, the sirens were blaring loud
  10. >Everyone who wasn't in shelter already rushed to their homes in a hurry in fear of getting caught, they didn't want to die, it was extermination day, and the angels were coming
  11. -----
  12. >People left and right had their world turned upside down, all along the streets was covered in blood and guts of the deceased, the angels all dawned on masks with LED faces, they had large feathered wings and halos between their big horns, they were covered in what appeared to be some sort of body suit
  13. >The angels hardly spoke if at all, they mostly had spears but they had other weapons also that were from the medieval era, they grossly disfigured people that were doing nothing, they were just afraid, some attempted to fight back at the exterminators but many times they failed.
  14. >A small number of those demons were successful to kill these angels, but they were way more tougher than your standard usual devil crossing the streets, but... Then there were THESE angels... They were exterminators covered head to toe in gold armor, there were around ten of them and they were not to be taken lightly, even for a tough demon like an overlord, the overlords would have difficulty fighting with these ones, they were the Golden Knights
  15. -------------------------
  16. Which murderangel doesn't have a weapon yet? Give her a shaolin spade.
  17. -
  18. There are plenty who don't have one yet.
  19. -
  20. Give the spade to Sunny.
  21. -
  22. >The sight of someone being cleanly decapitated by a single forward thrust always makes her laugh.
  23. ------------
  24. Grey - swords
  25. Arrow - crossbow
  26. Band - sarissa
  27. Knives - daggers
  28. -
  29. Anymore weapon ideas?
  30. -
  31. Someone said chakrams. I say give them to Kira. If she's a natural leader then a medium-ranged weapon is good for her since she'll be in between the close-quarter fighters (Band, Knives, Grey, probably most of them really) and the long ranged fighters (currently Arrow and String)
  32. -
  33. Okay, Kira has chakrams, any other stuff?
  34. -
  35. Besides the punch daggers that Knives carries because she likes to get extra-up close and personal, everyone carries a few basic knives that are weighted for throwing but ergonomic enough to be used for other purposes as sidearms.
  36. -
  37. That would be useful, very nice.
  38. ------------
  39. Rain, what is her weapon?
  40. -
  41. She's supposed to be the extra-resilient one right? Give her one of those indian swords that has a gauntlet for a hand guard.
  42. -
  43. Based.
  44. -
  45. Also, in general, seeing as they can fly and would just generally be more mobile and have greater momentum in combat, they could all get away with using what were traditionally cavalry weapons even though they're technically footmen.
  46. ------------
  47. What about Gore? What does she get?
  48. -
  49. Gore has no default weapon. She picks and chooses whatever strikes her fancy in the heat of the moment before a mission, not that it matters, since she tends to leave it planted in her latest victim and switch to snapping bones by hand and putting her thumbs through the eyes of demons she thinks look particularly fun after her blood starts to run hot enough
  50. h ttps://youtu.be/SZL5Q3sSnp4
  51. -
  52. How about angelic claws?
  53. -
  54. Like the bad guy from Ninja Turtles?
  55. -
  56. I meant claws like Freddy Krueger almost.
  57. -
  58. >Gore?
  59.  
  60. >GORE!
  61.  
  62. >Would you PLEASE take the fking razor gloves off when we're not on a fking cleanse?
  63. >The keypad on the vending machine is trashed
  64. >The newspaper is confetti, along with every single magazine that was, until recently, in a nice neat stack on the coffee table
  65. >Those clothes I had in the dryer are just fking rags now
  66. >I'm not saying it was you
  67. >But we all know it was you, fking Edna Scissorhands
  68. ------------
  69. Violet should have...
  70. -
  71. Sht I'm trying to think of what Violet should have.
  72. -
  73. Maybe she should have a scythe?
  74. -
  75. WTF I was JUST thinking about giving Violet a scythe, except hers would look more like this in pic rel.
  76. ------------
  77. Next on the list is Jade.
  78. -
  79. I know, she can have a rapier.
  80. -
  81. *saber.
  82. -
  83. Give her a pistol too, make her default eye shape a shamrock, and make her refer to all demons as "bold deceivers".
  84. h ttps://youtu.be/Gtf2YlDcAYY
  85. -
  86. What?
  87. -
  88. Just being silly
  89. -
  90. >pistol
  91. >le funny shamrock
  92. Pass.
  93. -
  94. Okay.
  95. -
  96. Getting back on topic, I know that chain/whip/circular momentum based weapons are kinda bullsht irl and are generally more about the fear factor, but seeing as exterminators are there to terrorize the entire population of Hell as much as to cull as much of it as they can get their hands on, and they have itsheavenlypoweriaintgottaexplainsht.jpeg on their side, how about a morning star or pic related? Also, as an aside, searching "morning star" without adding "weapon" to the end just gets you a ton of pon for some reason.
  97. -
  98. On a side note, I don't think Jade should carry the scythe and chain.
  99. ------
  100. I guess Adina is next.
  101. -
  102. Adina has no need of weapons. She has powers beyond your comprehension.
  103. -
  104. Oh she's that type eh? Is she like one of those seraphim?
  105. -
  106. It's unclear what exactly she was supposed to be from the old concept art, but she was never depicted armed in any way. But she seems to have been more of an empowering force for demon slayers than one to do the actual slaying.
  107. -
  108. Okay.
  109. -
  110. >Golden Knight is erased in combat against a demon
  111. >The last thing they ever hear is Adina over their communication line to heaven
  112. >"How disappointing..."
  113. -----------------------------
  114. How about Heart?
  115. -
  116. Perhaps a dedicated caster?
  117. -
  118. Can you take this seriously?
  119. -
  120. You do see some use of magic, but it's hard to tell whether exterminators are particularly capable at smiting without their weapons.
  121. -
  122. On the safe side let's just stick with weapons.
  123. -
  124. To the best of my knowledge, the ability to permakill demons is related to the weaponry they're using. Any ancillary supernatural crap they might do is probably more in support of getting pointy object A into helpless demon B, rather than doing any direct damage.
  125. -
  126. Heart should have a hand and a half sword.
  127. --------------------------------
  128. Okay I think we gave all the exterminators their weapons, now let's get into the plot.
  129. -
  130. What can we do to make things interesting?
  131. -
  132. Someone already brought it up: traitor angel. The Golden Knights have more free thought and personality to them than the mindless stab-cut-stab-slice-stab nondescript exterminators who make up the bulk of Heaven's armies. Having a modicum of free thought means you're vulnerable to deciding you want to do something for YOU and not for the "greater good" or "the divine plan of god", regardless of whether or not what you want is actually in line with your supposed purpose. Gore likes mutilating things and just happens to have a divine mission that clearly defines who deserves to be horribly, horribly mutilated and gives them a never-ending supply of things that can have their chest cavities opened up like a book and their contents brushed over the walls like fresh paint. String hears voices that aren't really there telling her things that may or may not be true, if her longbow decides that something deserves to die, she takes it at its word. Heart thinks that some demons are really cute and that its a shame they have to be beaten and bludgeoned and piked until their souls sink into the abyss. Any one of them could turn on the others at any moment, for any reason. The exterminators ultimately exist for the sole purpose of destruction. You can try to focus that dreadful force on those you have deemed unworthy all you like. You can set the forest ablaze and then try to make it burn only the sickly trees all yo ulike. You might get what you want in the short term, but sooner or later, the cauldron you have brewing will boil over, and then you can just learn to live with what you've made as the fumes begin to fill the room.
  133. -
  134. So many possibilities.
  135. -
  136. The traitor could work with Rosie.
  137. -
  138. What would she be like?
  139. -
  140. Intimidating and cold but with class and style.
  141. -
  142. Who will be the betrayer?
  143. -
  144. Violet.
  145. -
  146. Why her?
  147. ---------------------
  148. Vaggie being a Fallen Angel would be a very interesting thing to see.
  149. -
  150. That or being the first sinner in achieve redemption to later on ended becoming a Exterminator.
  151. -------------------------------------------
  152. >Rosie.
  153.  
  154. Warm, comforting, classy, and charming, so long as you don't look beyond the surface.
  155.  
  156. Rosie is an easy lady to get along with. She just happens to prefer human flesh in her etouffee over pork or shrimp
  157. ---------------------------------------------------
  158. Does it really fit the vibe of the show through? Plus the whole demon rebel against creator has been down to death in my opinion. I’m thinking it more as a dark comedy than a dark drama or grimdark fantasy. Without an antagonist or real goal for our characters a more serious story isn’t possible.
  159. -
  160. >Dark Comedy
  161.  
  162. Okay uh
  163.  
  164. >Charlie isn't the first member of demonic royalty to make an attempt at redeeming damned souls
  165. >Other demons lower on the ladder have tried it before
  166. >And failed
  167. >Violently
  168. >[insert scene transition here]
  169. >Golden Knights in a shrieking whirlwind of blood as they ruthlessly massacre the entire population of repentant sinners trying to make themselves worthy of going to heaven
  170. >Meek, pathetic demons being sawed in half from groin to throat whilst begging for mercy
  171. >Wayward souls who would have gone to purgatory if it were still open being dragged out from underneath pieces of furniture, clawing desperately at the ground to remain hidden before being hacked to death
  172. >String using her bow to choke demons to death whilst whispering "we're already dead, there's no afterlife for any of us, only an eternal abyss" into their ears
  173. >Band making a game out of seeing how many demons she can stack up on her oversized spear like a shishkebab before it finally gets too heavy even for her
  174. >Sunny and Violet poking holes in demons that are guaranteed to kill, but not instantly, and forcing them to make eye contact with them as they slowly die
  175. >The demon noble who wanted to cleanse the souls of the damned and bring them back into their creator's light is cornered and slowly, tortuously mutilated to death, their corpse then serving as the kindling that is used to burn their entire facility to the ground
  176. >[scene transition]
  177. >"Great work gang!"
  178. >"We really gave those nogoodniks what-for!"
  179. >"We saved the day again! Just imagine what could have happened if we'd let that monster and their army grow to full strength!"
  180. >"Well I know one thing for sure..."
  181. >"What's that?"
  182. >"I need to get myself a whet stone, my knife is so dull from all that stabbing that it can't even cut through butter!"
  183. >[All laugh, pan out, GI Joe end-episode music plays]
  184. -----------------------------------------
  185. I want a scene with Rosie chilling with the angel traitor just having nice conversation.
  186. -
  187. And also, the traitor helps Rosie to kidnap an exterminator to try and lure an angel in.
  188. ------------
  189. Does Rosie like theater?
  190. ------------
  191. ...Is there a Exterminator romance story?
  192. -
  193. Not really.
  194. -
  195. We could make a romance story on the side.
  196. -
  197. No, they aren't capable of romancing anyone.
  198. -----------------
  199. Did we ever get the chance to describe the golden knights armor?
  200. -
  201. No.
  202. -
  203. Keeping with the idea of them being the republic commandos to the common exterminator's clone trooper, don't deviate too heavily from the basic exterminator appearance. Other than their distinctive mask coloration, they should all have similar armor, but maybe heavier. Gold-colored inflections on it somewhere for everyone, but each exterminator gives it their own personal touch.
  204. -
  205. Ok, I dig that idea, anon.
  206. -----------------
  207. Someone mentioned a... Female scorpion demon for a 'boss fight'.
  208. -
  209. That would be badass to see them fight that.
  210. -
  211. Not even a boss fight, more like the only sinner they come across who's actually worth their time. Everyone else they kill is getting butchered just to fill the quota and sate their own bloodlust. The average demon doesn't pose much of a threat to a golden knight.
  212. -
  213. I hope there'll be more like her that are a bit harder down the line.
  214. -
  215. Fighting demons can't be the only thing that they do, we should spice things up more if we want this to be interesting, that way readers will be invested better.
  216. -
  217. They can rescue their friends, they can have conversations, they could sight see while killing, they could even collect trophies and hide them in a secret place inside hell like that other guy mentioned.
  218. -
  219. They could escape out of death traps too.
  220. -----------------
  221. What would be a seriously dangerous situation for the angels to run into?
  222. -
  223. Making either Charlie or Lucifer pssed off at them i think.
  224. -
  225. Lol, that'd be frightening as sht, but let's not go overboard dude.
  226. I meant something survivable, duh.
  227. ------------------------------------------------
  228. Working on a green thing. Don’t know how to do dialogue for any of these characters though, so I’m not really sure how to make this read like “not exposition”
  229. -
  230. If you wanted to go the over-the-top holy warrior route, try reading a few pages from 40K space marine novels or watching a few cut scenes from a space marine game. Those guys talk like monks even though they're hulking metal monstrosities that eat demons for breakfast
  231. ---
  232. I suppose I should also ask who does what before I end up retconning something. Have we finished defining all the gang members yet, or am I gonna have to freeform this?
  233. ---
  234. See, I’d probably go for that for some of the characters, but I’m not really sure who it would or wouldn’t work for. I mean, these are newborn OCs, so it could work for all of them? But, ehh, I’m not really felling that sort of vibe from anyone yet.
  235. -
  236. Define "defining". We've got signature weapons for most of them i think, as well as mask colors. As for personality, we have String being mentally unsound and having occasional "episodes", Grey being taciturn and soft spoken, Gore being the most violent of the lot, Sunny is the most cheerful of the lot (the chipper lady who delights in hacking people to death, we accidentally made angelic Millie), and the commander is the one who holds them all together.
  237. -
  238. Seems very interesting, very remarkably crafted, fellow, do go on more.
  239. ------
  240. I'm only at the very beginning, it's not done, but I wrote something.
  241. -
  242. Okay here's my spectacular thing I've written, hope you all enjoy... And I hope you don't suffer from reading it... Here you go.
  243.  
  244. Once upon a dark and dreary hour....
  245.  
  246. All of hell became fixated on the time on the clock, it was almost midnight, everyone and their mom had the idea to stay indoors in preparedness for the great culling that would soon come about, the demons and sinners alike kept busy on other things to distract themselves as to not get tired of boredom. They have put stacks of food away in cabinets and drawers for when they needed it, the radio always stayed on and as too was the television and the internet.
  247. Meanwhile back in Heaven, the angels were gearing up to get ready, it was about to get really messy, they all knew not to hold back and not to let emotion get in their way, they were well passed that whole thing.
  248. But... Something about this night felt a bit off to them, even the brightest of them did not know what it was, this extermination was different, they were careful to stay on their guard.
  249. They called upon their ace in the hole, they were your regular exterminator kind except with some minor adjustments, they wore classical armor and had some weapons that were made special for them and they had much more training than they once did, nothing much, that's all....
  250. They were called the Golden Knights, there were twelve in all, they each had their own things they were stronger at and they each had weapons that they were good at. All of them were much more brave than your typical exterminator, the mindset they had is what scared their foes to death.
  251. -
  252. Wow! I'm impressed good sir! You gave it quite a charm and it was mesmerizing! Thank you for your entertainment! I loved it! I cannot wait for more from you!
  253. -
  254. Thanks, I try.
  255. -----------------------------
  256. To the people talking about Golden Knight, what is it about? Is it about angels? Fill me in.
  257. -
  258. Just something a few anons wrote about Exterminators having a small group that take on harder demons than normal.
  259. -
  260. Oh, thank you for telling me.
  261. -
  262. >Lucifer is stealthily extracting info about his targets and pretending to give a fk about the story, that way his demons have an advantage against the angels
  263. Lol based.
  264. -
  265. Don't foil my plans y- I mean, I just want to learn about... The story, nothing more.
  266. -
  267. U wot
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