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Wholesome Potter and the Fabulous Family Entertainment Podcast

Hermione let her hair fall. "And what a jolly holiday it's going to be" said Ron, with his head in Hermione's book. "Let's go!" said Hermione. Ron whipped out his big bookmark. "I suppose you just let it out to remember your page number?" said Harry. "Oh no, no" said Ron, rubbing his eyes. His bookmark was stiff cardboard. "Stick in the mud, please!" said Ron. "Oh, ah, ohh!" said Hermione, with Ron reading Hermione's book closer and closer, so forcefully there was an explosion of knowledge and he learned spells out of Hermione's great book. "Oh, Hermione!" Ron said, as he blew his nose on Harry's handkerchief. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, ooohh, sneeze sneeze sneeze, ahh, (achoo achoo achoo)".
There was a large amount of potion on her clothes, even for a wizard. "Oi, Lunchtime, 'Arry Potter," said Hagrid, "one more hand pie." Harry grabbed one and begun passing pies to hagrid. It looked like hard work. "(eating noises)" "He's eating now, leave him alone" said Ron, rubbing Hagrid's big enormous belly. Hermione started brewing a large steaming mug of earl grey tea for everyone to drink. "Mmm, ahh," Hagrid said, "more!" He was going to explode. "(eating noises) Yeah, 'ere we go! (more eating sounds) Yeah, (more noises) food, (even more eating noises) oh yeah, (much more eating noises) delicious!!" grunted Hagrid, who was consuming a huge amount of food. "Wizards cook good!" said Hagrid, happily. "Have a sausage, boy" and Hagrid's big lumpy package of homemade pork sausages was passed to Harry. "All yours" smiled Hagrid. Harry stared. The next thing he knew, he was eating delicious food. Harry could taste Hagrid's special smoked sausage tantilizing his tastebuds with its incredible flavour."
Harry salivated. He was biting his dessert, his cheeks engorged with food, the inside of his mouth spraying saliva all over the food he was chewing. "(saliva noises)""Turn round and pass me another boiled potato, why don't you?" said Hagrid, waving his big hand in Harry's face. 
Harry felt delicious food filling the inside of his mouth. It was if Harry's mouth had been filled with a fabulous sea of treacle custard. "Hagrid'll eat everything if you don't grab some for yourself first, eh?" said Ron. "That's what everyone says" said Hagrid. "Can I share your spotted dick, please Potter?" said Malfoy, as Malfoy sank into his chair next to him. "Oh yeah, have a taste" said Harry, happy over at the thought of becoming friends with the usually unpleasant Malfoy. Malfoy grabbed some of the cake from the desk. "(eating noises) Oh, (munching noises) blimey, (more eating, gobbling and munching noises)!" Harry laughed, pouring delicious yellow custard all over Malfoy's pudding, Ron and Hermione munching behind him, eating their way through all their puddings as well. It was certainly a lot like like hamburger restaurants.
"ooch! What's that?" said Harry, feeling something very painful in his stomach. "Tummy aches. You want to be careful with those" Ron warned Harry. "Haven't had one ever since I was a kid" said Hagrid. Harry couldn't eat anymore. His insides were aching. He did look a bit sick. Suddenly his Pinata exploded showering the whole class in candy with their mouths open.