Create a new version of paste:

>Another night has come.
>At the behest of Luna, you are to undergo intense training to learn how to utilize your armor, as well as the sword Ann forged for you.
>You attempted to convince Luna that you should stay and protect her, but she would not let you.
>Though she has always been stronger than her guard, she knows that you are no where near skilled enough to perform anything of use.
>She called you undisciplined.
>She called you indecisive.
>She called you… weak.
>Her last words to you before she left for Morpheus's company:
>****************
>"We do not wish to bury you."
>****************
>Weak.
>So weak…
>You must get stronger.
>You must become her shield, someone who can face- no- crush her enemies.
>You must-
"OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!"
>You kick the door to Ex's bathroom open.
>He's laying in the shower, curled into the fetal position, or the p0ny equivalent anyway.
"Come on! We need to start training!"
>"Anon, I was sucked off by a changeling last night. I think this is what they mean when they say someone 'feels dirty'."
>You kneel next to the shower and turn off the water.
"And I saw your dick yesterday. Oh, and got force fed the queen changeling's pheromones, as well as her daughter's."
>The black stallion glances up at you.
"We both had a pretty bad night."
>…
>"Yeah, I guess."
>Ex hoists himself off the shower floor with a grunt.
>He shakes himself dry as he steps out, pelting you with droplets of water.
>"Heh, sorry. Come on, let's go see Ann. I hear that she's been working on your weapon since last night."
>Ex leads you out of his room, commencing the trek to the smithy.
"Does anyone sleep around here?"
>This is a legitimate question.
>You have yet to sleep since you began serving Luna and you are starting to worry something might be wrong.
>You're not tired, nor are you weak. It's like you're in a perfect homeostatic state.
>"Well, your armor keeps you well rested, so you don't really have to sleep, my nap last night put me way over my weekly sleep allowance of eight hours, and Ann is, well, Ann. When she starts a project, she doesn't stop till she's finished."
>That makes sense.
>…
"My armor keeps me rested?"
>Ex blinks at you, processing your surprise.
>"Oh yeah, I never told you how your armor works. Ha ha, whoops..."
>Your eye twitches and you stop walking.
>"Hmm? What's wrong, Anon?"
>Your fist collides with Ex's face, sending him sprawling against the hallway wall.
"You could have told me how this thing works?! Why the fuck didn't you?"
>The unicorn rubs his jaw as he meets your angry gaze with his own.
>"I deserved that. Yes, I know how your armor works, and yes, I could have told you, but I thought that a practical experience would be better than a controlled one."
"So you took me into those caves to get raped and just hope I could use the armor?!"
>Ex's hardened expression crumbles, causing him to look at the ground.
>"I'm sorry… I wasn't aware of the changelings' presence. I should have been more careful…"
"Luna thinks I'm worthless. Whatever she saw in me before, she probably doesn't see it now."
>Your friend winces, remaining silent.
>Neither of you move, preferring to stew in the silent rift of anger.
>He didn't mean for any of that to happen, and you DID learn how to use the armor somewhat…
*Sigh*
"Come on, let's… just go see Ann."
>Ex nods and trots unspeaking beside you as you continue to the smithy.

>Cries of excitement fill the air as you near Ann's workshop.
>Hot air pours out when you crack open the door, and you see the crimson earthp0ny hopping up and down, performing a bizarre dance around her workstation.
>A simple silver longsword lies on the work surface.
>The expression you give Ex conveys one thing:
>Huh?
>Ex facehoofs and sighs.
>"Sh-she does that."
>Shrugging, you open the door fully and walk in.
>Ann stops her frolicking and runs over to Ex.
>*Mmmmmwa*
>She gives him an incredibly exaggerated kiss.
>Ex is stupefied and tries back away, only to be assaulted with another smooch.
>"This is my finest work, EVER!"
>Ann breaks her lip-lock with Ex and dashes over to you.
>You feel your hips begin to fracture under the pressure of her bear hug.
>"That ore you got was some of the highest quality I've ever seen! It was so pure, I could make…"
>Ann gallops to her work area and strikes a dramatic presentation pose over the silver sword.
>"THIS!"
>You can practically hear the fanfare as she displayes her creation.
>"It's not very impressive…"
>An iron ingot barely misses Ex's head, instead shattering the stand of weapons behind him.
>Ann smiles as if nothing had happened.
>"You were saying?"
>Ex is immobilized by fear, so you cover.
"Ah- uh- It looks great!"
>As you examine the blade closer, the intricacies of its forging become apparent.
>The hilt has several elegant designs engraved on it, most notable of which is a pair of sapphire and onyx stones overlapping at the center of the cross-guard to form Luna's emblem.
>It's grip appears to be made of fresh leather, surprising considering the world you now live in.
>The blade is immaculate, not a single notch blemishes its edge.
>A fuller lies in the middle of the blade, showing a darker shade of silver than the rest of the sword.
>The sword's point gleams in the fiery light of the forge.
>It could probably pierce the clouds themselves.
>Ann taps her hoof impatiently, accompanied by huffs of agitation.
>"WELL?! Are you going to try it out?!"
>You reach out and grab the hilt.
*Phwoaaaaaar*
>Intense bluish-white light fills the room as you take hold of the sword.
>Starting from the hand, a sheet of hoarfrost quickly makes its way up your arm until it is completely frosted over.
>Ex sprints to Ann's side and hastily throws up a barrier to protect them from your expanding field of ice.
>A large pulse freezes the smithy completely, provoking several heated ingots to snap from the intense temperature change.
"Whoa…"
>You can't help but stare at the chilling fog emanating from your sword.
>"So…"
>Ann's breath freezes as it escapes Ex's barrier.
>"What are you going to name it?"
"Name?"
>You stare at the silver blade, rotating it to get a clear view from all sides.
>For several seconds, you examine and feel the arctic brand, attempting to think of the perfect name.
>That's it!
"This sword will be-"
>You thrust it into the air, creating a swirl of glacial air currents.
"Vorpal!"
>…
>"… Vorpa- *Slap* Ow!"
>Ann slaps the back of Ex's head before smiling at you.
>"It's perfect. But now, if you don't mind…"
>She beckons you over to the barrier, motioning for you to lend her your ear.
>You oblige and rotate your head to present your ear to her.
>"WOULD YOU STOP RUINING MY SMITHY?!?!"
>She punches the side of your head, causing you to lose your grip and drop Vorpal.
>The sound of metal colliding with stone rings through the chamber, a harbinger to the spreading pleasant warmth.
>Ex releases his barrier, allowing Ann to walk around and examine the damage from your ice-inducing power surge.
>Remembering the last time she was angered, you thicken the armor on your crotch… just in case.
>*Sigh*
>"This is going to take some time to get back up and running."
>You cautiously walk to Ann's side and bow your head.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't control myself. Vorpal's power is quite impressive!"
>Ann turns to you, displaying what would likely become the textbook definition of a smile for future Equestria.
>"Isn't it? But that's not all, you can channel magic into it from your armor to increase its power, and give it a variety of different effects!"
>Wow, she's good.
>Ann hits Ex in the shoulder before motioning to you.
>"Hey, Pinky, take Anon to the arena for some practice! Get him used to that armor and his new sword."
>'Pinky' that's a weird-
>[screams internally]
>"'Pinky'? What's up with that?"
>Ex blinks at the equine blacksmith, perplexed by her seemingly random nickname for him.
>For the record, not all stallion's have completely black penises.
>That's something you would have been happy never learning, and unfortunately for Ex, everyone in this room knows that now.
>"It doesn't matter, just get him some training! The last thing we need is for a super powered Wendigo wannabe to freeze half of Canterlot because he can't control his powers."
>The black stallion relents, abandoning his efforts to learn the origins of his pet name, and nods.
>"Alright, come on Anon."
>You slide Vorpal into it's sheath and thank the red earthp0ny once again for her skills.
>The sounds of Ann reigniting her extinguished furnaces follows you as you leave the forge and head outside the castle.
>"Hey Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>Ex seems deep in thought about something.
>He's staring in front of him, as if trying to decipher some unintelligible document written in backwards Japones via pig Trotin by the hoof of a particularly shaky special needs foal.
>"Why'd she call me 'Pinky'?"
>You walk in silence for a bit before deciding to tell him about his unconscious journey last night.
"Well…"

>You are now Ann, the greatest blacksmith in all of Equestria.
*Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
>The last of Anon's ice melts as your furnaces spring to life.
>'Pinky'?
>That was the best you could come up with?
>A chance to make him miserable like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and all you could do was hint at the color of his dick?!
>Wasted!
>He'll never-
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
>Your ears twitch at a very loud scream echoing through the castle, forcing a smile to grace your perspiring face.
>Maybe it wasn't a waste after all.
"All those stallions are the same."
>Well, maybe not all of them…
>You pull your goggles over your eyes as you begin to craft some more weapons.
>Stars only know how those idiot guards manage to break so many spear heads.

>The arena is really more of a large, underground training dome.
>It's seen better days, or at least you hope it has.
>Rusted armor and weapons line the walls, along with several practice dummies equipped with menacing, drawn-on angry eyes.
>The floor is composed of dirt and sand, not exactly the best for good footing.
>the ceiling is lit by some kind of self-illuminating crystals, similar to what you saw in the Crystal Caves.
>Clearly, Equestria has one of the most disciplined militaries ever devised.
>One of the weapon ricks falls apart when you touch it.
>Clearly.
>Ex leads you out to the center of the arena, giving you room to stretch and prepare for training.
>"Before we begin, I-"
>A sigh escapes the stallion's mouth.
>"I'm sorry that we didn't come here last night. It would have been more informative if I had just taught you about the armor right away, rather than leaving you to stumble around in the dark… literally."
>His appearance is one of sincere apology.
>It quickly disappears, however, and is replaced with his normal, sarcastic demeanor.
>"But since you showed Ann my junk, I'd say we're even, so I don't want you lording this ove-"
>You place a hand on his shoulder and lightly shove the unicorn.
"Apology accepted."
>Your friend gapes at you for a moment before coughing to cover up his embarrassment.
"Besides, suffice it to say, that wasn't the first time I've had bugs crawling over my junk in an effort to get me off."
>**********************************
>"Are chiggers your fetish, Anon?"
>**********************************
>You shudder at the horrific memory.
>"I'm guessing I should just leave that alone?"
"I'd appreciate that."
>Ex grins as he shakes his head.
>"It's always something with you. Anyways, let's begin. First up is basics."
>He takes up position facing you several feet away.
>"What have you gotten the armor to do so far?"
>You recall the events of the past two nights.
>Teleportation.
>Energy blasts.
>Malleable armor thickness and shape.
>That's about it.
>The unicorn nods while you describe your experiences to him.
"And that's about it."
>"I see. Well, let's start out with something you've already done. Teleport over here."
>A large X is dug into the dirt of the arena.
>You focus, attempting to teleport to the target.
>Cold air wraps around you as space distorts.
>With a blink, you are standing several feet beyond the X.
>Damn.
>You repeat the process, each time refining it a little until you stand on the objective.
>Ex prances up to you while you catch your breath.
>"That was pretty impressive, you only took half an hour. Most take days to learn teleportation, even at this short a distance."
>You attempt to speak, but are too winded, forcing to to take several deep breaths.
>"Your energy expenditure could be better, but that will really only improve as you cast spells. Until then, it will feel like you've solved a complicated equation every single time you teleport. Fortunately, only complicated spells, like teleportation, will do this."
>God you hate lectures.
>"Oh, that reminds me."
>The feeling of a hoof pressed against your stomach draws your attention to the unicorn in front of you.
>Several stands of blue magic are drawn out from the armor and absorbed into Ex.
>"Try teleporting one more time."
>You nod, and focus.
>Space distorts again, but this time it is cut short as your armor locks up.
*Thud*
>You fall face first into the dirt, unable to move.
>"Your armor is powered by magic. If you run out, it will shut down and revert to its original form."
>He creates a small orb of gray magic that merges with your armor.
>Movement is restored, allowing you to climb to your feet.
"Got it, how does that power supply work exactly?"
>Ex scratches his head while he muses.
>"Think of it as a well, it wont refill on it's own, but it is a deep as the amount of water it holds. Likewise, your armor stores any magic given to you until you use it."
"Is there a limit on how much it can hold?"
>The stallion hesitates, unsure of the correct answer.
>"Theoretically, no. Each action you perform that is beyond just basic movement will drain your reserves, however, so be careful."
>The next couple of hours are spent learning how to regulate and reduce the amount of magic you expend when casting spells.
>Despite his usual concise methodology, Ex is a very thorough instructor, answering every question and making sure that you understand his explanations.

>After you finish magic training, a short break is held on of the sturdier benches lining the side of the arena.
>"So, got a special somep0ny, Anon?"
*Pbthhhhhh*
>You spew the water you had been drinking.
>"Ha ha! I'll take that as a no."
>Wiping your mouth, you frown at the unexpected question.
"Where I come from, non-human intercourse is a serious taboo, illegal even."
>Ex levitates a flask to his lips and takes a swig.
>"Ah~ I see, so the species barrier is too much is it?"
>He offers you the flask, which you take and imbibe a few gulps.
>Tastes like burn.
*Cough* "It's not like I haven't thought about it. With no way back to my world, I just have to accept that p0nies are my only possible sexual partners."
>You pass the flask back to Ex.
>*Gulp* "You could try griffons, I've seen some that have turned many a stallion head. Sure, they can't give you head, but their luscious asses more than make up for it. Or camels or alpacas, though their weird drawls frustrate me to no end." *Gulp* "Hell, if you can find one that wont eat you, I've heard dragons can work wonders with their tongues."
"You really don't care about being a different species, do you?"
>Ex turns his flask over, shaking out the last few drops of its contents onto his tongue.
>"Should we? You only get one life, despite what those crackpot Sleipnists say. Should you really care WHAT you love, rather than WHO you love?"
"But what about kids? It's not like I could give a mare any foals, we're just not compatible that way."
>Your fellow philosopher lies down on the pew.
>Something in the distance has become immensely interesting to him, as he refuses to look in your direction.
>"If our only reason in life is to have consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreating, I don't think it's worth the suffering."
>He kicks you, lifting the somber mood.
>"Live a little. Find a mare, and rut her into the ground."
>You chuckle.
>You're still unsure, but it's good to know that you have the support of a friend at least.
"Thanks, I-"
>"I mean, really get in there. Make her walk funny for the next few days. She should be embarrassed when she talks to her friends because she's still leaking part of you out of her. Maybe give her some surprise ana- I don't know."
>…
"Sh-should we-?"
>"Yeah, grab your sword."

>The next round of education begins with you gripping Vorpal in front of a combat dummy.
>You slowly extract the blade from its scabbard, taking care to restrict the ice to yourself.
>With a quick slash, you cleave the dummy in half.
>*Whistle* "That thing is sharp!"
>Amazing.
*Slash* *Slash* *Slash* *Slash*
>You make several more cuts without any effort.
>This sword is unbelievably light, just barely heavy enough for you to register that you are even holding it.
>Beneath you, the ground begins to freeze.
>Moving to strike once more, your feet slip on the fresh ice.
>Ex stifles a laugh as you flail and throw your sword into the earthy ground.
>Vorpal penetrates the floor, instantly causing a thin layer of ice to form across the entire arena.
>Laughs turn to curses as Ex struggles to keep his hoofing.
>"Shitshitshitshit!"
>*Thud*
>The unicorn slides, slowly spinning, several feet, glaring at you as he does so.
"Ha! Not so funny anymore, is it?"
>You shuffle to Vorpal's exposed handle and grab it, focusing on the ice.
>Loud swearing echoes through the arena when the ice recedes back into Vorpal, dropping the scholarly stallion suddenly onto the dirty ground.
>You hear the sound of teleporting, followed by Ex appearing next to you with a gray flash.
>He dusts himself off before coughing into his hoof.
>*Cough* "We really need to practice keeping your powers in check."
>Vorpal pulses while you sheath it.
"Isn't that what we're doing here?"
>Without a word, Ex trots to the center of the arena.
>He focuses on a spell, creating a vortex of gray magic that blows away the dirt covering the floor.
>You cover your eyes for the duration of the spell, afraid to peek due to the flying chunks of micro-rocks flying around.
>As the dust settles, you open your eyes to see the floor that had lain beneath the layer of loose earth.
>Stone, bearing marks of combat, is the true floor of the arena it seems.
>"While I might be able to lecture you on the armor, I don't know much about your sword. We'll both have to study it the only way I know…"
>A small pocket of space distorts next to the unicorn's horn.
>You instinctively move your head, barely managing to avoid something sharp flung from the distortion.
>Warm blood trickles from the shallow cut Ex's attack has inflicted.
>"Trial and error."
>Clusters of distortions bloom around the black stallion as you draw Vorpal from it's sheath.
>Cold air blows through the arena, eliciting a grin from your friend.
>…
>"Let's-"
"-Go!"

>[Hours later]
>He's supposed to be a librarian?
>Not once, had you even come close to defeating Ex during your sparring.
>What makes it worse is that he didn't even bother to cast spells to counter your frost borne attacks, he just used brute force.
>You learn how to cover the ground in ice, he just smashes through to get traction
>You learn how to create gale force, freezing wind, he slowly stomps through sleet and air currents to get to you.
>Any physical swing of your sword was countered with knives flung from null space.
>Even after all this training, you're still too weak to even reach Ex.
>At least you've managed to learn how to cast spells, not bad for the first night of heavy training.
>Your instructor grins, the silver lining here is that he exhausted himself locking horns with you, so to speak.
>*Pant* "Not bad… You can hold your own pretty well."
*Pant* *Pant* "Ha ha~ Says the guy who just handed me my ass."
>"Kekeke. At least you can face Luna with confidence now."
"Well, I-"
>You sense Luna return to reality, which delights you immensely.
"Speak of the devil."
>Ex beams at you, pride showing in his eyes.
>"Go get her, liger."
>Temporarily focusing your thoughts, space distorts around you and you disappear from the arena.

>*Chew* *Chew*
"Theos!"
>The librarian teleports to your side.
>"Yes, your majesty?"
>Another morning of Princess Celestia eating a grand breakfast while she speaks to her errand boy.
"Any news?"
>A sadistic smile spreads across his face as he delivers his follow up report.
>"Both Prince Mandev and Princess Mela will be in the capital when we arrive. In fact…"
>Theos levitates a letter, bearing an exciting coat of arms on its front.
>You tear open the letter and begin reading.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Celestia,
>
>I have heard of your intention to negotiate with Father over trade issues.
>Of course, I have chosen to return from my travels so that I might greet you personally, and ensure comfort for the duration of your stay in my kingdom.
>I look forward to seeing you, old friend.
>
>First Princess of the Griffon Kingdom,
>Mela
>
>P.S. I do hope you bring a sturdier toy this time, it's been so long since I've eaten a proper meal.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>The letter burns when you finish reading it.
>Mela likes her secrecy.
*Chew* *Chew*
*Gulp*
>It's all coming together… 
>Just one month until Luna is out of your hair, and Anon is your subject to command.
>Ooh~ You can't wait.
>Just one month…