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>If that monstrous pony xenos and her Heretical ally had wanted to thrust you into Hell, they surely could not have dreamed of a better place.
>After the assault by the burning dog-daemons, you had been left alone, nothing hostile coming to attack you.
>Nothing to distract you from your thoughts.
>From your doubts.
>Friend, they called him. What xenos species had ever known an Astartes as friend? Not even in the darkest, most heretical of tales did xenos know space marines as 'friends.'
>Allies? Occasionally. Pawns? Rarely. Masters? More frequently.
>Friends? Never.
>"Soooo.....are you just gonna sit there? Not gonna shoot at me with that arm gun thingy again, are you?"
>Oh, right.
>You weren't entirely alone.
>SHE was still here.
>Emperor preserve you.


>You turn and glare at the floating xenos from your seat on the ground. She's reclining on what you're pretty sure is a cloud made entirely out of gum, or perhaps candy floss.
"I remember telling you to remain silent, xenos. If you will not leave me in peace, at least allow me to meditate."
>She groans in annoyance and falls back on the cloud.
>"But your so...so BORING! You've been sitting like that for an hoooouuuur! After all that fun with the hell hounds, you're just gonna lie there now?"
>You glare silently at the xenos creature. You had already tried shooting her to drive her off, and she had just turned your bolts into soap bubbles.
>You weren't wasting ammunition like that, and she's not stupid enough to come in reach of your sword arm.
"I'm not here to entertain you, alien."
>A thought strikes you.
"Where is....here, anyway? Is this another part of that horse-xenos' world?"
>She laughs at the word 'horse', positively convulsing on the candy cloud, before popping up, her mismatched arms held out wide, to indicate the whole of the land around you too.
>"Welcome to Tartarus, Mister...armor guy! Celestia's one-stop prison for 'creatures who might pose a danger to my little ponies'." 
>Her voice grows serene in mockery of Celestia's, before she laughs again.
>"Yep! Tartarus, old, cold, boring Hell on Equestria! Where you can never, ever get out!"


>You get to your feet, picking up your sword and checking your storm bolter.
>She stops laughing as you march off, lazily floating after you.
>"Hey...heeeeeey, what are you doin', man? There's nothing that way but Tirek's palace."
"I am leaving. Remaining trapped here is unacceptable."
>"Well walking straight up to Tirek is a good way to DIE, maybe, but not a good way to get out."
>You turn and look at her, still walking.
"Do you know the way out, xenos?"
>She floats around you in a circle, juuuust out of sword reach, her paw and talon behind her head.
>"Mmmmmmmaybe. I don't know. Xenos doesn't know much..."
>You sigh, gnashing your teeth in frustration.
"Eris."
>She brightens immediately. "Yeeees?"
"Do you know a way out?"
>"I sure do, new friend. Right through Cerberus, who might kill you quicker than Tirek would."
>You snort.
"I do not believe I will have much trouble dispatching another creature of this accursed prison."
>"You still havn't 'dispatched' with me, have you?"
>You glare at her, and she grins.
>Your glare intensifies, and her grin widens.
>You stop marching, and she does a little victory dance as her logic sinks in.
>You sigh, and sit down again, trying to think of a way out of this...Tartarus.
>Eris stops her dance and floats over to you.
>"Oh come on, not this again! You're the first interesting thing that's happened in this place in aeons!"


>You glance up at her, a bit surprised, despite yourself.
"Just how long have you been trapped here, xenos?"
>Something passes over here face, an emotion you can't quite grasp.
>Her smile disappears.
>"A long, long time."
>You smile under your helmet, glad at being able to get a dig in at your irritating companion.
"What did you do to earn yourself imprisonment?"
>She stays silent, her lips set in a grimace.
>You start chuckling. You can't help yourself. It's in your nature to hurt xenos, and if you can't harm one physically, you'll do it verbally.
"Come now, if you're going to follow me around like a dog, you can at least entertai-"
>"I was born to the wrong family. That's what I did. That's all. My dad, he was...well he was in charge, before I got sent here. He was a good natured guy, always looking for a laugh."
>She leans back on the pink cloud, remembering, and you prop yourself against a rock, checking your storm bolter again.
>You're down to three magazines.
>"He was king, and a good king, at least to most of us. He played a prank or two, nothing really bad, and his subjects got uppity. So he'd play more pranks to punish them. And then they called on those two....horses..and next thing you know, dear old Dad's a rock and me and my family are hurled into Tartarus."
>You nod your head, barely paying attention to the story.
>"We tried to make a living down here, spread a little Chaos to keep ourselves entertained, but my brothers and sisters kept pranking the wrong creatures. Tirek got most of us, and the Smooze got the rest. So I'm the last one left."
>You continue nodding, mostly tuning her out as you think of a wa-
>Wait.
>Did she say, 'spread some Chaos?'
>HERESY DETECTED.


>A tiny dune lizard slowly comes to wakefullness as it hears the sound of explosions, coming nearer.
>As it blinks itself awake, a screaming draconequus flies by it, followed shortly by a shouting minotaur-like creature clad in grey armor.
>The lizard goes back to sleep.
>"WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID!?"
"FILTHY, CHAOS-LOVING, XEEEEENOOOOOS! TRYING TO LULL ME INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY, WERE YOU?"
>"Dude what are you even talking about!? I was just telling you why I'm here!"
"THE EMPEROR IS WITH ME!"
>"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
>Eris keeps running as you pour storm bolter fire at her retreating, snake-like backside.
>Your bolts keep turning into bubbles or gumballs, but one grazed her when you first shot and set her running.
>"I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER WITH THIS STAGE ALREADY!?"
"NOTHING DETERS THE EMPEROR'S WILL, HERETICAL SCUM!"
>Another bolt grazes her, blasting a hole in her tail, and she skids to a stop.
>"Okay, BUCK this!"
>She snaps the talons on her eagle paw, and a second later she's sitting on your head, her paw on your helmet and her eyes on yours.
>"It's time you got an attitude adjustment, dude."


>You look up at the creature perched on her head, as she pokes you with her eagle talon and lion paw, one after the other.
>".....WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING!?"
"The Emperor Protects."
>"Oh shut up, you don't even know what I'm trying to do!"
>You reach up with your free arm and grab her around what you assume is her throat.
>She gives a short "urk" as you bring her down in front of you and squeeze.
>"Stop....you're...choking...me..."
"That's the idea, worshipper of the Dark Gods."
>"Dude....what? I...don't...worship....anything. Just...like...to have...good...tiiime."
>She's scrabbling at your wrist as you slow your squeezing.
>The second you stop trying to crush her throat, she snaps a finger, teleporting an arm's length away and rubbing her throat.
>"Jeeze, what in Tartarus was THAT about, dude?"
>You aren't going to apologize.
>Even if you do feel a bit boorish at the moment.
>Which isn't making any sense, you have nothing to apologize for!
>She's a xenos, after all.
>You sit down again.
>You need to meditate about this.


>"Oh for the love of...will you STOP doing that already!?"
>You hear a crack! and feel an impact on your helmet.
>You look up in surprise at a floating Eris, who's holding part of a desiccated branch in her hand.
>She apparently snapped a tree branch over your head.
>She grins sheepishly as you glare at her again, holding both lion paw and eagle claw up.
>"Okay, whoa, whoa, stay calm big guy. No need to do the chokey-pokey or the stabbity-stab. Let's just talk, okay?"
>You recall a tale they told on Titan, of a Jutsicar Alaric, who allied with forces beneath the glory of the Grey Knights, to defeat servants of the Archenemy and return to the Imperium.
>You can at least emulate his example.
"Talk....fine. We can talk."
>She sighs in relief.
>"Okay, that's all I've wanted. I just want to talk."
"So talk, xe-Eris."
>"Okay, listen. You're tough, you're strong, but you don't know what you're doing. You don't know this place like I do. I'm fast, and smart, and beautiful, and-"
"Get to the point."
>"Right, right. I know Tartarus. I know what to avoid and how to avoid it, and you can kill the things we can't avoid. If we buddy up, we might be able to get past Cerberus and get out of this hellhole, Mister...."
>She thinks for a moment, tapping a talon against her chin.
>"What do I call you, anyway?"
>You think of your murdered superior in the streets of the xenos city. You think of the alien "friend" who killed him.
"Call me Justicar."