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>You are Discord.
>Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony.
>And today is like any other day in your reign.
>You’re bored.
>From the absolutely random things you know, neither LSD or internet have been invented.
>It sucks.
>So you decide it’s high time you did something fun around here.
>Have you died before?
>No…
>Maybe it’s fun!
>Let’s try!
>Pissing off citizens and Alicorns was a pastime of yours, so you do it extremely well.
>They have been building your antithesis, the Elements of Harmony recently.
>Yes, with just a little nudge, they’ll use it on you!
>Hovering over to the castle of Celestia and Luna (upside down and backwards, of course) you find the mares restlessly working on the empowered gemstones.
“Really, Celestia. Must you play so hard to get?”
>”Discord!”
>Startled, she rears on you and throws some telekinetic force your way.
>You teleport to its other side and continue.
”Celestia, Celestia. I know you’re hard, but please, think of who ELE you’re getting hard, hmm?”
>For emphasis, you whip out Discord Junior.
>Her eye twitches and she looks both appalled and disgusted.
>You give her a healthy wink.
>”You’re disgusting, Discord!”
“Really Celestia? I seem to remember a time where YOU winked at ME every night…without your eyes.”
>Yes, there was once upon a time being the chaotic being you were involved love, affection, and quite often, sex. However, that gets boring, like everything else does.
>Made for good blackmail material, though.
>Her face matches the color of the sun adorning her flanks, flaring up just as hotly as the sun itself.
>”I-pfuh…you!”
>She sputters, unable to quite make the comeback necessary.
“And then you cast off your lust, carnal it was to the depths of Tartarus. I’m SURE you remember your temporary ‘sister’ Molestia, hmm?”
>Her face contorts to anger.
>Wow, altering their emotions was so easy! Her’s especially…but she still needed another nudge.
“I mean, we all know she’s a demon now, but baby, she is a GOD of the bed. Let. Me. Tell. YOU!”
>”You’re SICK!”
“Oh I know! I’ve got love fever, toots!”
>Celestia desperately snags all the orbs and jewels, and retreats into the castle to find her sister.
>You simply laugh and follow her by moonwalking.
>You are stopped short when you see Luna and Celestia both weilding the orbs..
"Ahhh, so this is the dreaded Elements of Harmony, huh?"
>Luna and Celestia simply grin at you.
>Now, this is surprising.
"Well, what's this? No comeback, no witty one-liners? Ameteurs."
>Lights flare up and strike you in a prismatic beam.
>The world begins to fade...
>Excellent.
>...
>...
>...what?
>The fuck?
>You become aware of life around you.
>This isn't death!
>You aren't dead, but you sure are angry...and disappointed.
>But then you become much much more aware!
"What's this?"
>You can see...something new in Equestria.
>A human.
>There's humans in many Equestrias...each one a new and different being.
"How WONDERFULLY chaotic!"
>Your giddy giggling grin grows greatly.
>You wipe a tear from your eye from the sheer beauty of an idea.
"I'm going to bring them all to one place!"
>...well, if you took them out, it could disrupt the chaos each is causing.
>Alright, a simple copy of each one...all in a single world.
>You snap your claw and paw, your infinite power reaches through the multiverses and copies each of the 34 most interesting humans.
>...you think better of it and go ahead and snatch up a large crowd of bystanders from each world as well.
>You're going to need an audience.

>You are Princess Celestia.
>You and your sister Luna have been protecting Equestria from all who would oppose it for the last few thousand years.
>You look out of your window as a bright flash overtakes your entire gardens.
"What is going on?"
>A strange diamond field has replaced the maze!
"Luna, come with me, I believe we are needed."

>You are Discord.
>Your plans are nearing completion. The stands are next.
>You snap your fingers to make the bleachers and fill them with all the bystanders you took from the 34 dimensions.
>Ponies of all colors shape and sizes appear in the bleachers, confused.
>Ah, right. Announcers to explain this.
>You snatch the most charismatic voice and the human who had fought the most.
>A chaotic combination that still works!
>You slap down the rest of the players and select the captains, the lich and the Tsar.
"They can figure this shit out."
>You place your announcers in the booth and tap them with your claws, allowing the information necessary to flow into their minds.
>They look at you with smiles of their own.
"Just do your jobs, chaps. And I'll do mine."

>"Welcome mares and gentlecolts to the first annual all Anonymous baseball league!"
>The announcer begins.
>"As per the usual rules of baseball, there will be 15 players per team, and only 9 on the field at once. Would Anonymous the Tsar and Anonymous the Lich please step forward and choose team members?"
>Tsaranon and lichanon both step forward with dignity. Giving each other the once over, eyes and green fire narrowing, they shake hands and then begin to pick.
>"I believe I shall give you a handicap. You may make the first choice, Tsar."
>"I do not need a handicap, but if you are so prudent to throw away an advantage, then I shall accept it."
>Minutes later the teams are chosen. The Lich's Oblivion's Lead, and the Tsar's Streltsy.
>P0ny Strelnikov stands on his hind legs from the bleachers and drunkenly begins to sing the Russian anthem...then shouts obscenities because he hates tsars.
>Oh well. Can't please em all. Besides, your special guests are about to arrive.
>Celestia and Luna fly down from the castle, orbs in tow.
>"Discord, so you have returned with an army!"
"Nonsense, dearie, I'm just starting up a little game of baseball!"
>They look to each other in confusion.
>"Base...ball?"
"It's a sport, Celly. I'm just going to have fun with this, see how it goes. You are more than welcome to join me, you can always slap me with your harmony beam later, after all. Don't you want to be entertained for once?"
>"Yes...yes I do."
>Excellent.
>With the teams chosen, the players are directed to their positions. Oblivion's lead being the second to the pic becomes the first to bat.
"Would you like to be the umpire Celestia? I believe you would fit the role well."
>"What would I do?"
>You tap her with your claw and place the information within. No need to waste time.
>She nods and gives a small smile, flying to her position.
>Tsar places his 9 after a pep talk to discover their talents, while the Lich does not appear to interact more than to direct them.
>Ranger is pitcher, forge on third, unamaze on pitstop, und for second base, and the video store worker on first. Boots, fit, sorcerer and green lantern are the outfielders.
>First up to bat is the boxer.
>"Do I really gotta go first? I'm not exactly comfortable with being in a crowd..."
>"You will do it. If you all do as I say, you will all enjoy a simple victory."
>You could swear that lich is grinning.
>From the bleachers, friends form the boxer's homeworld cheer him on, and he gets the confidence he needs.
>Ranger, the sly idiot that he is, throws the ball like a grenade...
>...it IS A grenade!
"Oh hoh, this is TOO rich!"
>Boxer, in a moment of panic sees the grenade land at his feet and golfs it away with the bat.
>About 50 feet in the air, it goes off, a cloud in the shape of your head filling the air.
>"Homerun!" the gentleman declares.
>After a few more minutes and a thorough chewing out by the tsar, the game continues.
>Mous takes up the bat.
>One strike.
>"Fuck."
>2 strikes.
>"Dammit!"
>On the third ball, he just heavy hands it.
>Mous strikes the ball and dashes towards first base.
>The ball lands before he reaches the base, but he's safe.
>The psycho moves both players 2 bases on his hit.
>"Power ranger", unfortunately, gets hit while he was posing and simply walks to first base.
>"Alright, you are up to bat next, doctor."
>"What? M-me? You should know I don't...I-I mean I'm no good at sports!"
>"Just calculate the distance and direction and hit the ball towards your assistant in the bleachers over there."
>Sure enough, Pinkie Pie (one of her, anyway) is in the bleachers with a gigantic sign saying "THIS WAY, DOCTOR!".
>"I-I suppose I can."
>"Pff, you sent a nerd up to the plate?" ranger scoffs.
>No-one answers his snide remark.
>The doctor allows the first ball to pass without a swing.
>"Ha! This is an easy out!"
>He throws the second time, and the doctor places the bat at an odd angle, intercepting the ball and sending it directly at Pinkie.
>Boots starts Jumping towards it "I got it, I got it!"
>Sorcerer wraps himself in the warp "I shall get it!"
>The two slam into each other.
>To be more correct, sorcerer slams into Boots, knocking him out of the sky. Sorcerer warps ti him and keeps him from landing on his head, and the ball makes it into the waiting hooves of Pinkie Pie.
>The crowd goes wild!
>"Homerun!"
>"That's 5 points for Oblivion's Lead, folks. This just might get messy."
>"But the team for Streltsy is more diverse! How is it that Oblivion's Lead is in the...well lead with no outs?"
>You can hear the lich chuckle out the word "planning".
>Oh, that sly dog, him!
>You hover over to him
"As soon as you knew the game was baseball, you had this all planned, didn't you?"
>"Of course. And with my scrying, I already knew the strengths and weaknesses of every player on both teams."
>Interesting...
>The game progresses for another 2 points until his team finally amounts 3 outs.
>With the change in fields, Oblivion's Lead places impulse on first, changeling's roomate on second, boxer on shortstop and comatose on third. The remaining players spread themselves among the field, aside from the deus ex anon, who pitches.
>"I never asked for this position."
>"Then simply accrue three outs and then you can change."
>Unsurprisingly, sorcerer is up to bat first.
>And he simply knocks it to oblivion.
>"Do not let it get to you, augmented human. Now that he is out of the way, it shall be simpler."
>True enough, stb and und are out before another batter strikes the ball, much to the chagrin of their special someponies in the stands.
>"Warlock strikes the ball and manages himself to second base! It's about time Streltsy caught a break!"
>"WOO!...and I'm not a warlock!" he cries towards the announcer booth.
>When the thief comes to bat, he bunts the ball and slips into first base faster than the nearest team member of OL can blink.
>Even the warlock is surprised, and doesn't run.
>"Shit, missed it."
>The warforged is up next, and takes minimal movement to the plate before removing all of his own armored plates.
>"I require the additional dexterity modifier to ensure my aim. Do not judge me."

>The warforged strikes true, and the natural 20 sends the ball all the way to P0nyville, where this dimension's Pinkie Pie was already waiting with a mitt.
>"I got it!" she giggles, while the rest of the town merely chalks it up to 'just being Pinkie'.

>Now with the score being 7 to 4, video store anon gets up to bat.
>"No! Baka robot! My anon was supposed to be the one who got the homerun!" a Twilight with glasses yells from the stands.
>The video store anon rolls his eyes and smiles. It would have been, but forge just got lucky.
>Deus ex manages a single strike before video store seriouses the hell up.
>"Suuuppppaaaaahhhh balllll buurreeaaakaaaah!"
>As the pitch is thrown, he spins like a top and hitss the ball, sending it ricocheting across the ground and at the stands.
>"Foul ball!" Celestia calls.
>"What!? That was legit!"
>She simply points to the indent where the ball impacted first, and, sure enough it is on the foul ball side of the line.
>"Strike two."
>"Strike three."
>And the teams change positions again.

>And now it's the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, one out.
>The crowd's tense, the pitcher's tense, and gay anon up to bat.
>Score 58-50 Oblivon's Lead's favor.
>The pitcher, now the Night Lord, grins as he prepares to win the game with just two more throws.
>"Are you prepared to admit defeat?" Night Lord asks.
>"Are you prepared for the LOVE?"
>Gay anon winks at the night lord, disturbing him just enough to make the ball strikeable as it is thrown.
>Gaynon slams into the ball with all the muscle he's got, sending it out of the park.
>The crowd falls deathly silent.
>Then goes absolutely bat-shit crazy!
>"I knew you had it in you, friend!" the Tsar cries in jubilation.
>Gaynon winks again, and blows a kiss.
"See me later, ok?"
>Night Lord excuses himself to go take a cold shower, lest he never feel clean again.
>Lich prepares his last gambit, the lover of Lyra is the pitcher as Boots comes up to bat.
>"Well, Anon, those are some fancy boots, but hands are better."
>"Fuck you, man. I can hit anything you can throw out with my FOOT."
>"Hands!"
>"Feet!"
"Enough already, hooves are the best now just GET TO BASEBALLIN'!"
>The two Lyra-obsessed anons return to their postions, rivalry in the air.
>Hand-man throws a curveball, which Boots strikes, but gets a foul on.
>Next is a slowball, which becomes a strike.
>"Fucking A, can't you just throw the ball straight?"
>"What's the matter, bootsie? You can't HANDle what I throw? I guess you're a liar AND a loser!"
>Boots throws the bat to the side and readies a kick.
>Hand throws a fastball, and Boots connects with a kick, hard.
>The ball goes flying, smacking hand-man right in the gut.
>"Uh...oops."
>Both the Lyra obsessed are out of the game, one for injury and the last for causing it.
>It also counts as an out.
>"59 to 54, it looks like unless Streltsy gets lucky, this is the end, folks!"
>"A shamefur dispray by the dimension hopper. Who woulda thunk it?"
>The lich replaces his pitcher once more, with the survivor.
>A Gilda in the audience lets out a feral shriek, which the Anon reciprocates, leaving many of the crowd and players holding their eardrums from the sheer volume and pitch.
"Awww, love is in the air."
>Next up to bat is the anon who is father to Sonic Boom.
>Survivor manages a single strike before the father makes it to first base.
>The unamazing anon hits after two strikes, progressing them both another base.
>That eternally cool anon of zen finally makes an appearance, and hits the ball on the first swing, loading all the bases.
>"Well folks, I never thought I'd see it happen twice in a single inning, but here we are, bases loaded. If they can manage this, they at least tie!"
>Fit anon is next at bat.
>Survivor groans. This guy has scored a homerun every single time he gets up. Dude's unnaturally fit.
>Survivor lets loose a spitball, and it slides into the umpire's mitt.
>That is the first time fit has gotten a strike.
>"It just wasn't my style."
"Heheh, looks like Casey is up to bat..."
>The second toss is another strike, fit not even bothering to swing at it.
>Survivor throws the most devastatingly quick ball he can, and fit intercepts it with his bat.
>The ball goes practically straight up.
>The lich does not betray a hint of worry as a group of his anons walk up to where the ball will fall, and then create a line towards third base.
>One anon makes it to the home plate.
>The ball hits the ground.
>Another anon makes it to the home plate.
>Doctor picks the ball up and tosses it one anon over.
>A third anon makes it to the home plate as fit reaches second.
>The ball reaches third where an unamused anon who stars primarily in walls of text is already holding the ball as fit reaches him.
>"I've got you by the balls, son. you're outta here."
>The game is over.
>58-57. Oblivion's Lead.
>the Lich stands and walks to the middle of the field, where his team proceeds to dump a barrel of cider on him, then hoist him onto their shoulders.
>"I love it when a plan comes together." is all he says as he is carried off.

>"Well Discord, I must admit I had a lot of fun."
"No worries there, Celestia, I had immense enjoyment from this turn of events as well, i believe I shall stick around and host a few more events like this for a while..."
>And you do, going from sport to sport, letting anons and ponies alike enter the games, leagues starting up all over Equestria.
"The great sport era has begun!"
>...
>Until you started making the games deadly and had to be turned to stone again.
>But you had fun and that's all that matters.
"Taaake me out to the baaallll gaame, taaake me out to the croooowd. By me some peanuts and craaackerjacks. Iii don't care if we never go back! Root, root root for the Aaaanooonnns, if they don't win it's a shaaaame! Cuz it's ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES, yer out, in the oooold baaal gaaaame!"
The End.