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>Another day, another early morning.
>You and your bro planned for this garbage. You rose early, rushed the chores and cleanup, (you get to add brushing your teeth to this list of morning rituals) and got yourself set up with sunscreen.
>Today you were going to be the scout for Big Mac as he located the stallion storm relief center.
>It was a risky plan, considering partial success leads to the mares locating the center as well.
>But since it was still early in the season, Macintosh reckoned that they still might let him in.
>Since he stayed out all yesterday in order to hang out with you, and then to look for you, you considered your task more than fair.
>You weren’t a super suave debonair spy, so you weren’t going to just report on the mares, but to literally scout each area and find breaks in the mares’ searches.
>Married stallions would prove to be your greatest asset, as they were under protection from their own mares…given that you could tear them away from their special somep0ny long enough to get an answer.
>First on the list, Mr. Cake.
>Big Mac brings the goggles down and gives you the hoof’s up.
>…you don’t ask why you could tell, but you just KNEW.
>You wrap the cloak around you and covered part of your face.
“Let’s get…dangerous!”
http://soundcloud.com/p-332/aie-theme-2-0-darkwing-duck
>He looks at you.
>Oh right, no tv here.
>Whatever.
>You continue to hum the music until the two of you are beyond the farthest reach of Sweet Apple Acres.
>”Ya know, we’re s’possed ta be stealthy, raght?”
“Ok.”
>You crouch as you walk, eyes darting every which way as you waddle along.
>”An stop hummin, please.”
“Ok.”
>You walk for a distance in silence, before clicking your tongue to the tune instead.
>Big Mac groans.
>”Please, could ya stop makin so much noise? Ahm getting nervous!”
“But there isn’t anyp0ny out here but you an me.”
>”Maybe THEY’RE hidin too.”
>Ohh.
“Ok.”
>Minute later the two of you are keeping to walls, with you peering around corners first, Big Macintosh staying behind and/or in the nearest shadow or red colored object.
>He isn’t very stealthy.
>But neither are you, really.
>You round a corner and find a group of mares scouring the place.
>They notice you and you wave.
>They roll their eyes and pass you by.
>All according to plan…
>As they leave sight, you wave Big Mac through to the next alleyway.
>He follows you closely, the two of you tip-toe/hoofing through town crouched in broad daylight.
>You feel a little silly.
>But sneaking around is fun, and you’re having fun with your brother.
>Chuckling, you turn to see if he’s also having fun.
>No, in fact, he is not.
>His eyes are wide, he’s shaking and a frown is plastered on his face.
“You ok?”
>He whispers:
>”Sneaking!”
>Whaaaaat-ever.
>You shrug and continue to lead yo bro between alleys, trash cans and other assorted obstacles.
>”HI!”
>A pink p0ny face fills your vision, wide blue eyes searching you all over..
>You’re too stunned to say anything for a second, but manage a hand signal to stop to Big Mac.
>You sure hope he can tell what that means, because you never did tell him what meant “stop”.
>”Are you sneaking? That means you’re hiding, and I’m supposed to be finding! I guess I saw you!”
>She gigglesnorts, the filly’s poofy pink mane and tail wiggling as she does so.
“Who are you?”
>”I’m Pinkie Pie! I’m new in town and I was going to have a welcome party today from the Cake’s at their place, Sugarcube Corner, which I’m staying at! But I can’t have it today because somep0ny told me all the stallions are hiding! So I said: Pinkie, you better find em and give them invitations to your party! And so that’s what I’m doing, who are you and what are you and what are you doing? You wanna come to my party? You’re invited!”
>Big Mac rounds the bend.
>”Psst, Anon, was that signal for go, cuz ah cain’t te-”
>He notices Pinkie Pie.
>She notices him, a wickedly large smile overtaking her face, proportional to the look of fear on his face.
>”HI! I’m Pinkie Pie-“
>Big Mac ditches.
“Big Mac!”
>”Ooh, is his name Big Mac? That’s really cool but it sounds like food for some reason, I wonder why that is? Maybe because my name is Pinkie Pie and it has pie in it, and so I just have food on the brain, but…”
>You aren’t paying attention as you dash after your bro, but she scurries after you and continues.
>”…so I’m like ‘I don’t even LIKE oatmeal!’ and she’s like: “uh-uh!” so where was I? Oh, right! My party! Hey mister Big Mac! You want to come to my party at Sugarcube Corner tonight?”
>She’s yelling.
>Every mare from here or there hears her siren call of Big Macintosh’s name, mares popping out from all sorts of weird places: rooftops, out of barrels, bales of hay, even windows and doors that looked closed only moments ago.
>…it’s time to run FASTER.
>Your little legs pull through and you sprint like a madman away from the madmares who are chasing Big Mac, and by proxy, you and Pinkie Pie.
>”So why are we galloping? Are we going somewhere? OH! Are we going to go where all the other stallions are? That’s AWESOME!”
>The mares behind you are VERY excited now.
>You try to talk to her in between breaths
“What?… No!...We were...hidin…from THEM!”
>”OHHH! Well mister, you aren’t doing a very good job.”
>Her face is dead-set serious.
>”You probably need more practice! After tonight, you want to play with me tomorrow?”
“Ah…guess…so…ah’m Anon…ymous.”
>”Well HI! I’m Pinkie Pie! Oh, I already introduced myself. So now why are we running?”
>You can’t keep up this running and talking.
>For the second time, you have to slow down, leaving Big Macintosh to his own to avoid the storm of mares.
>But like earlier, you planned for this garbage.
>He would lead them around the town, weave through a select track and finally meet you back at the South side of the apple orchard after a half hour to an hour.
>Stopping to catch your breath is your priority…but the herd stampeding towards you does not take to your plight this time, not slowing or splitting to avoid you.
>”Hey! What are you doing!?”
>Pinkie Pie pulls you off to the side in the nick of time, as over a hundred brightly colored ponies pass you by.
>”Are you loco in the coco? You could have gotten splattergasted! Splatternated! Hurt!”
>She waved her hooves around for emphasis.
>You simply fall onto your behind and take deep breaths.
>After about a half a minute, you have sufficiently caught your breath, and Pinkie resumes talking to you.
>”So do you wanna come to my party tonight?”
“Ah don’t think you’ll have a welcome party tonaght if you’re trying ta get all the stallions in town. They’re all hidin fer estrus.”
>”OOOOOOHHhhhhh…that makes more sense! All the Cakes told me was hi, and welcome, and then I asked if I could have a party and they said sure, and so I said I’d invite everyp0ny and they said sure, or something because they were behind a door already and it was kind of hard to hear among all the moans.”
>She smiles, then gasps.
>”And I forgot! You’re not a p0ny, so I also have to invite you separately, but I think the Cakes won’t mind, so what are you anyways?”
“Ah’m a human.”
>”Neat!”
>…
>Later you have managed to separate yourself from your newest friend and soon-to-be classmate, and rejoin with Big Macintosh after you are sure you aren’t followed.
>You and Big Mac decide to just do some chores, as this day is a bust.
>”So you met this little pink menace, an you’re her friend already? Whoo-ee Anon, you’re pretty slick with the mares fer your age!”
“Well she invited me to ‘er party tonaght, which she seems t’want t’do even if the other stallions are missing, so when ah go to Sugarcube Corner for it, ah’ll ask mister Cake for ya, an see if you can slip in tonaght while all th’ mares are attending!”
>”Well ah’ll be, Anon. Y’done good. After we finish up here, you oughtta take another shower so ya don’t smell lahk me afore goin to th’ party.”
“Will do, bro.”
>You extend the fist.
>Brohoof.
>…
>It’s a good thing you took that shower.
>Not that you really understand it, but you showered and were told to use some of Applejack’s shampoo.
>Of course you did as suggested and went to Sugarcube Corner (along with Granny Smith, Applejack and baby Applebloom, who had already met the pink p0ny earlier and received an invitation.) you were surprised to see that none of the mares acted oddly towards you besides a bewildered look or two.
>”See junior? Its all in th’ smells!”
“Alraght, Granny. Ah believe ya. Since ah smell lahk Applejack, they ain’t weird ta me.”
>Maybe you could use that to your advantage some other time during the week.
>”HEY! Anon! You made it!”
>Pinkie Pie meets you just a short distance from Sugarcube Corner.
“Eyyup! Ya’lready met mah family, Granny Smith, Applejack, lil Applebloom and Big Mac, but he cain’t come tonaght.”
>”Oh I know, Mr. and Mrs. Cake told me allll about estrus season for stallions. I’m just going to throw another, even BETTER party for when the stallions and colts come back! Actually, I think you’re the only guy here besides Mr Cake.”
>The four of you are escorted into the party, which for all intents and purposes looks a lot more lively than possible, even with just a few balloons and streamers.
>Applejack’s face betrays a pang of jealousy, and Pinkie picks up on it right away, the two of them getting onto a conversation towards the punch bowl.
>Not much else to do, you  walk around the party, seeing Lyra and Bon Bon again, who invite you over for a game of pin the tail on the p0ny.
“Ah thought it was pin the tail on tha donkey…”
>”Oh! Oh no. Nonono…that’s…racist.”
“What?”
>”Maybe you haven’t met many donkeys, but as they are sentient, just like cows, ponies, dragons and griffons, we play pin the tail on the p0ny. Only donkeys can play pin the tail on the donkey.”
“That’s pretty weird. So who’s next up?”
>”You, if you want to play.”
>And so began a wonderful night of party games, Pinkie showing up occasionally and playing a few with you.
>The night rolls along, party attendants dwindling as Pinkie gives them individual farewells, seemingly already knowing their names.
>Finally, you and the apple family have to go.
“Ah’ll see you tomorrow Pinkie!”
>”Me too! Well, I’ll see me if I look in a mirror, but I’ll see you tomorrow and Applejack too!”
>You give her a hug, and remember that you had an important mission
“Hold on juust one second.”
>You look in the kitchens and find Mr Cake.
“Mister Cake? Big Mac couldn’t make it to the storm shelter cuz a me, an so ah was wonderin if there was any way to get him in now?”
>He looks left and right conspiratorially before lowering his head to you.
>”You didn’t hear this from me, but knowing is half the battle.”
>Yo Joe!
“Thanks Mister Cake! Goodnaght!”
>He gives you a fare well, and on the way out the door, Pinkie gives you another goodbye hug.
>…
>”So knowin is half tha battle huh?”
“Yup. AJ an ah are gonna play with Pinkie Pie tomorrow, so I figure we can check tha library for clues!”
>”Thanks fer helpin me out, part. Ah owe ya one.”
“No…I owe YOU one. I keep getting you into trouble.”
>”Ah think we might have ta jus drop tha who owes who an go ta sleep. Gnaght Anon.”
“Gnight, bro,”
>…