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80 People Owe You An Apology So +John Stavropoulos finally finished his exhaustive, 10 months-long, unbelievably Lawful Good research into whether 80 RPG freelancers and commenters (many of them his friends) actually are taking what they say about rape online seriously. Basically: months ago, Ben Lehman (author of tedious RPG products) claimed James Desborough (author of different tedious RPG) was "Someone who threatens their critics with rape" Now I hope I don't get an argument when I say this isn't something you just casually toss out there . Right? Even if it was an honest mistake--you really really check first before saying someone did something that shitty in a public place. Right? Like: this is an ethical standard you hold yourself to The short of Jon's research is this accusation turned out to bullshit even though 79 people +1ed it and it got shared all over the RPG internet. Now Jon didn't name names, because he "doesn't want a witchhunt". Which is respectable. But I'm not Jon and I do think the RPG community as a whole deserves an apology from every single ons of these people for confusing and distorting a very real and very serious issue of real violence that actually affects peoples' lives. I also think the RPG community deserves to know who they cannot trust in conversations about ethics. Anyone on the list below who hasn't apologized has the opportunity to do that now. Or at the very least Un-Plus One Ben Lehman's totally irresponsible public bullshit. The 79 people (including RPG freelancers) who signed on to Ben's totally unsubstantiated accusation, via +1's were Cam Banks +Erik Amundsen +Alexis Siemon +Josh Mannon +RJ Stewart +andrew gill +Adrian Sprysak +Áine ní Dhonnchadha Jeff Johnston Jon Cole John Sheldon +Alana O'Keeve +Tom Zunder Pat Gamblin +Laura Simpson +Eric Duncan +Scott Slater +Dave Michalak +Sam Anderson +Eon Fontes-May +Ezio Melega +Daniel Levine +Shawn Ervin Laiel Shepherd Anna Krieder aka Go MakeMe A Sandwich +Brennan Taylor +Josh Elliott +tracy hurley aka Sarah Darkmagic +Evan Torner +David Blalock +Caitlynn Blocker Dymphna C Brandon Schmelz (of Grognards.txt) +Christoph Boeckle +Becky Annison +Lukas Myhan +Aleksandra Sontowska +kendra tornheim +Peter Borah +Alex Norris +Sean Kelley +Seth Blumberg +Amon C Horne Sean Dunstan Rowan Cota +jacob bouvier +ed heil +Dylan Boates +Jamie Sue Dev Purkayastha If any of these people have a problem being named, they can feel free to remove their +1 on Ben's post. _______ Here are the results of Jon's attempt to dig down to the facts: https://plus.google.com/+JohnStavropoulos/posts/2YEADUV2Bua This is Jon talking " Final Update: I've gone through many emails, links, and messages on this subject. To review: --------------------------- 1. James has been accused of allegedly threatening his critics with rape. --------------------------- 2. James has been accused of allegedly being a rape apologist. --------------------------- 3. These are serious allegations and as someone with friends and family who have been raped, I don't take this topic lightly. --------------------------- 4. There is a track record of people spreading misinformation about James. One clear example, there was a petition against James that included libel. --------------------------- 5. I don’t know James, I don't care for his work, and I disagree with many of his opinions (for example, I'm strongly in favor of anti-harassment policies at conventions, have written several, and have implemented many). I'm not here to defend James. James was one of the first people I blocked on G+ for reasons unrelated to any of this (he made fun of vegetarians). --------------------------- 6. I'm personally disturbed by the seemingly vast number of people who seemingly accepted the above allegations as seemingly truth or who strongly suspect these allegations are false but have said nothing. --------------------------- 6. As a potential consumer of products and services from companies affiliated with James and as someone who is very aware how these topics can destroy people's lives, I would like to know what is going on. --------------------------- 7. So I asked anyone to send me proof. In this thread. In email. Anonymously. In any way that anyone is comfortable with. --------------------------- 8. I'm going to present what I know and move on from this topic. Don't ask more from me. I've dedicated a lot of time to it, and have chosen to end several friendships because of it. --------------------------- 9. This is NOT a witch hunt. I'm not going to name names. This isn't about shaming. Part of the point of this thread is to fight against potential witch hunts (which some have alleged that James may have been the target of). I'm not an attorney, judge, or jury, and my words are primarily opinion. You should make up your own minds. --------------------------- 10. The rules for this thread still stand, don't post unless you have proof. --------------------------- That all said, I've received several links in this thread that I've reviewed and you can read about in detail above. Additionally, I've received many more emails on this topic. Let me flat out, in the clearest way possible state: I have received NO information that proves, in my opinion, that James has allegedly threatened his critics with rape. Unfortunately, the rape apologist allegation is much more complicated and the more I look into it, confusing. Why? The definition for rape apologist seems to vary substantially and it's often unclear what definition someone is using. One (of many) definition is that a rape apologist is someone who argues that rapists have no control over the sexual temptation they experience in response to the victim, therefore the victim could have avoided awakening the irresistible rape temptation by behaving differently. From what I've seen, I don't think it is reasonable to accuse James of any of this. But we don't know what definition of rape apologist someone is using. Another (fairly different) definition is that a rape apologist is someone who communicates that rape isn't really rape or claims that allegations of rape are untrue or exaggerated. Some have claimed that James may match this definition because of statements here, http://talesofgrim.wordpress.com/2013/06/21/kickstart-your-tart/, specifically: "I’m sure RAINN does a lot of good work but they’re mostly known – to me – for their promotion of what appear to be vastly inflated rape statistics. I am deeply uncomfortable with my objection to the project having lead, indirectly, to funding an organisation that seems to use and abuse poor statistics. I don’t, personally, believe that you need to inflate the figures. Rape is a horrible crime and making people more afraid than they need to be doesn’t help." and James links to a controversial news article http://goo.gl/HuCk7 which contains problematic content (an article which makes me personally uncomfortable), but it's impossible from James' blog post to determine if James agrees with the specifics of that news article, or if he is simply linking to it to explain his hesitation with RAINN itself. Another (again, fairly different) definition is that a rape apologist is someone who is an apologist for rape culture (which we would need to nail down exactly what rape culture means to argue this point as this terms also has several definitions that many don't agree on) and may not be a direct apologist for rape itself. This definition is so potentially large and potentially vague that you could potentially accuse many people of various degrees of supporting rape culture or being a rape apologist for rape culture. It's very difficult, using these definitions, for me to make any definitive judgments on this topic. Given the vagueness of what rape apologist might mean, I don't want to potentially add to any potential misinformation to this topic, so I won't. I'm going to move away from the whole rape apologist thing and concentrate on the more serious primary allegation. While rape apologist may be an unclear term, alleging that James has threatened his critics with rape, is not in my opinion, unclear at all. So let me repeat again, in the clearest way possible: I have received NO information that proves, in my opinion, that James has allegedly threatened his critics with rape. Does that mean there is no proof to be found? No. But I don't have any proof to offer and no one I know has it or is willing to share it. And given the seriousness of these allegations, I feel VERY uncomfortable with people alleging such things with such absolute statements and no information to back them up. Given that, I've been moved to do all this work and share it with you. Additionally, I've chosen to end several friendship because of this. Rape is a serious real problem that affects many people and there is already too much misinformation around rape and it already can be so difficult to prove, that I feel it is important we do what we can to fix these problems. But potentially false allegations, in my opinion, only make this serious problem, worse. And while it is convenient for many to look the other way, I will not. Never forget, the standard you walk past, is the standard you accept. "
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