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So I need your help in deciding what game I truly want to go after. I know this conversation's been had a thousand and one times already, but very recently I've been feeling a shitton of pressure on myself that I need to confirm what my permanent path will be. I've realized that the primary thing that's had me hooked to basically all of the games I've played is my ability to hyperfocus on a singular, particular thing. I say primary, it really feels like almost the only. It takes what little I have in a direction of something and pushes it to the extreme, it's what ultimately defines me, my playstyle, my personality. I end up having three settings, essentially: useless, half-ass, and ultimate and complete tunnel vision. It seems to be partly why I seem to fail so much at basic things like household responsibilities or even focusing on important things like school - I'm at my half-ass level, and I don't want to go into tunnel-vision mode since I can only really effectively do so for one thing per day. On the gaming aspect, I can see in myself that if I allow myself to just let myself go one one particular game, I can become good at it, eventually. I can get to a point where I could gain money from it. My problem is that to do so I would need to practically permanently sever any and all connections to any other game, that I would need to just dispel every dregs of them from my life and act as if they basically didn't exist. I would have to tunnel-vision myself on that one selected game, and eliminate all possible distractions or other paths. That's why I feel like I need to bring this deadbeat topic up one last time, so it can finally be decided once and for all just what game that should be. I've already narrowed down the field to three, which I will go into great detail below, since this honestly feels massive to me. The games I have lined up are Heroes of the Storm (no surprise), DotA 2, and Super Smash Bros. Melee.

HotS:
I'll start with the most obvious one first. You said it yourself, that even though I didn't feel much of anything special that you have never seen me have so much fun with a game before - not Smite, not TF2, not Pokemon, not Overwatch, nothing. The main thing HotS has over DotA, in my opinion, is that games never let up. There is no farming, maps are cramped, objectives spawn and levels come fast. The game goes into full overdrive as soon as the gates open and never lets up until the game is over, while in DotA you have a good amount of downtime where there's really not much to do, be it just farming or waiting for the opponents to initiate. The former appeases my ADHD a whole lot more and overall settles with me better. The really big problem I have with HotS right now is the social standpoint. Currently you're basically my only social connection to the game, there are others in my friends list but basically no communication happens and a good amount are only casual anyway, with the ones who are pseudo-competitive not really interested in going professional. Applying to teams with an instant rigid schedule requirement, performance requirement, et cetera, makes breaking the social ice competitively a very extreme and unforgiving thing to do, very easy to drop out of and hard to get into. Almost every other day I simply feel demotivated partly due to my performance and partly due to a lack of a social scene, but I can't envision it changing at all if I get onto a striving team, assuming I do manage to get myself in one and establish myself as a consistent first-string. This is probably the easiest by a small margin of the three paths in terms of actually getting good at the game, but the hardest in advancing in the competitive scene.

DotA 2:
I was honestly cought completely by surprise by your reaction to me "re"discovering DotA. You just, accepted it. No questions asked as to why, how, what, et cetera. Just asking if I switched my competitive viewpoint. While I responded that my focus was still on HotS, DotA never really left my mind ever since. It's certainly a much different game, so much that I'd basically say they're only related by genre. While DotA's a fuckton slower than HotS, no ult diversity, a lot more focused on positioning and has relatively more spread-out teamfights, what it does have is depth. HotS as a game, quite frankly, is pretty shallow. There are heroes like Medivh that have a really high skill ceiling in their potential usage, and a shitload of talents you need to effectively memorize, but as a whole it just doesn't go down that far. DotA's on the opposite side of the spectum, so deep that it's daunting to a lot of players. More prevalent and important number crunching, item builds, managing and optimizing your GPM, ability builds, even their own talent trees, FUCKING TURN SPEEDS. But at the same time it allows such a large diversity of play. The joke is that there's no such thing as cheese in DotA since everything's cheese, and it has a point. It feels like you can never get tired of the game, that there's always going to be something new you can do, in some way, shape, or form, and still room for innovation despite all the optimization. Surprisingly, I actually have a solid safety net in having the sheer dumb luck of getting into what's effectively a clan, with a leader having a strong and adamant vision about getting a team and going for the competitive scene's throats. Unlike the harsh changes of getting into and adapting to a HotS team, I can get eased into it with DotA, basically the equivalent of being able to ease myself into a warm pool as opposed to bellyflopping into 35 degree water from the high dive. Not to mention practically all the members would support my growth, some maybe actively. I get instant access to practice partners, sub opportunities, and overall would just give me a massive boost to both my improvement and my motivation. The biggest drawback here is just how far away the competitive scene is. While the winnings are so much more than the other options, it's probably the hardest to get into, to achieve that level of play.

SSBM:
And here's the wildcard that probably threw you for a pretty big loop. I've been playing a lot more of it recently, on Netplay and by myself and just watching it, and there seems to be a spark there that I never really felt before. It's completely unique of the three games here since it's the only solo game, and that's honestly what makes all the difference. I'm in charge of everything. I always have people to play with over Netplay, there are common local tournaments, a fantastic community I can just jump right into, by and far the most flexible option of the three NO FUCKING QUESTION, and I overall just find it really, really fun. The big benefit I'm seeing is that I can continue it well after college, I don't really need to give it up due to a lack of time. I could still potentially get top 100 in like 3-6 years if I really wanted to, even with a full-time job, which otherwise cockblocks the other two options hard, unless I somehow find a rigid-schedule job that pays me enough and gives me enough time to do so, which would be a bloody christmas miracle if I ever had one. Basically, the pros are extreme flexibility, potential continued play, and by FAR the richest social scene of the three. And it's fun. No real cons to it, just needs to compete with the above two.