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>Day 254 in Equestria
>Wake up
>dat P Diddy feel
>mfw delightful smell coming from kitchen
>moonwalk down the stairs
>Dwayne Johnson cooked up some bacon and eggs for you.
>whatabro
>Knocking at door.
>Open it, resist urge to dinosaur.
>Fuck yeah Fluttershy.
>"Oh hi Anon I was wonderi"
>"IT ARE CAN BE SEXXINGS TIEMS NAO?"
>"W-w-what?", blushing furiously.
>"JUSS MESSIN', NOT A HORSEFUCKER"
>"Oh, o-ok".
>"HEY, YOU WANT SOME BRIKFUS?"
>"That sounds nice anon I could SSSSSSSMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK WAS COOKING!"
>and then they all fucked.

>Lunchtime 254 in Equestria
>Rumblin' in my tummy.
>Gotta get my eats on.
>Get your ass to Sugercube Corner
>There will be cake, no lie bro.
>Strut on down Mane Street. Putting Swagbot 9000 to shame with your swagger.
>Fucking lines, lines errywhere.
>Goddamned lunchhour zerg rush.
>You're too cool for school and waiting in line.
>VIRTUOUS MISSION IS A GO
>Solid Snake your way up to nearest pone.
>Chokehold like a boss. Interrogate enemy poni.
>Learn location of Metal Gear Steve and cardboard box.
>Box sneak mode activated.
>Sneak sneak sneaky mo fo. All up behind Sugarcube counter now.
>Cake spotted, locked on target.
>SUDDENLY PINKIE PIE
>!
>Fisson Mailed
>Rape? RAPE?!
>RAAAAAAAAAPE!!!

>Evening of day 254 in Equestria
>It are dinners time.
>Be hungry like the wolf.
>Goddamn salads and whatever the fuck hay fries are were not cutting it.
>Got to has meats.
>Real meat, fish is for foggets.
>Needs moar cowflesh.
>Fuckin cows talk here so no.
>Brain: Well you could always try veggie burgers. They have just as much proti
>Fuck you brain. Vegan burger are unamerican commie shit.
>You're not pinko commie scum are you brain?
>New plan, chicken.
>Where are chikns?
>Visit Zecora.
>No idea what the fuck she says.
>Something about stereotypes and Wesley Snipes.
>Blade was awesome though.
>Fuck her and fuck those phat rhymes.
>Wait up. Fluttershy has chican.
>Cruisn' in my six fo', knock on Flutters door.
>Nop0n... Nobody home. Gottdamnits chikans coop locked up tight. 
>Damn. Wait try chickaen call.
>Scoot, Scoot, Scootaloooooooooooo
>"He-hello?", you hear from a distance.
>Winner, winner, chicken dinner.


>be morning of day whogivesafuck in Equestria
>sun's asscrack just peeking over horizion
>sleepy Anon is sleepy
>Spike-bro knocking at door
>Open door, get on floor
>do the mash, the monster mash
>get up, punt Spike-bro the fuck out of your house
>10 print "bed"
>20 goto 10
>bedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbedbed break
>shhhhh
>only dreams now
>fuck bitches
>acquire bits
>purchase chicken strips
>Uruguay is fucking hard to remember how to spell.


>>4560219
>be day 416 in Anon in Equestria
>slow time of night
>some random posting are done.
>just a bit of talking related to throed
>impatient anon is impatient
>decides he gonna get stories goin again
>post witha sage in the email field
>should have known it goes in all fields
>has no fucks to give, gotta post fast
>"Sure is stories around here." typed out.
>Submit is clicked.
>Post was successful!
>Gonna get the greentext a flowin'
>got this as a reply
>technically is a story
>just not a good one


Actually remembered to but another retarded oneshitpost in here.
>>12148321
>Day dat marshmallow pone in Equestria
>Rarity is fitting you for new clothes.
>Taking measurements and jotting down the numbers.
>Not paying attention to the surroundings as she writes with her magic.
>She stumbles over the little stepping stool in front of you and falls backwards.
>Reaching out to catch her your hand cups her perfectly rounded soft bottom as you allow her to fall into you.
>With a gentle push shes back onto her hooves.
>Today was a free ass grab kinda day.


Been postin as anon and forgetting to add the oneshits again.
>>15522441
>"Who cares about your pathetic little coupon. Watch in amazement as the Great and Powerful Trixie buys this package of Handi Snacks!"
>Tossing a few bit onto the cashiers counter she twirls into a dramatic pose. With a flash of pyrotechnics and smoke in the express lane another package appears next to the first.
>"Behold foalish Anon! Trrrixie's wonderous coupon!", slapping a buy one get one coupon on the counter as more fireworks go off behind the two of you.


>>15533831-Requested Anon is a bear
>"I'm telling you Twi, he's up to no good!"
>"Spike, just becuase he looks kinda like a bear doesn't mean he's a danger to Applebloom and her friends."
>"But he's so creepy.", arms wrapping around himself as a shudder passes through him. "Those lifeless black eyes, always staring..."
>"Pshaww", waving a hoof dismissively. "Anon's just watching out for the girls in case one of their little adventures get out of hand."
>"I don't know Twi..."
Spoilered pic of pedobear


>>16472586
>"It's cuddle time!"
>The minty mare advancing slowly through the doorway as you struggle against your bindings.
"N-no Lyra. Please, not like this this."
>"Shh, no tears. Only cuddles now.", whispering as she closes the door with a hind leg.


In hangout so I guess it counts as AiE
US Americans
>>17543567
We're coming for you. You dreams will be haunted by the whirring of struggling Rascal motors in the dark.
>>17543661
>huge onslaught of morbidly obese americans in scooters
>they're slow, but they just don't stop coming, much like zombies
>you can run as fast and as far as you want, but they will keep following, and they will never stop, almost in a zombie-esque fashion
Until you climb one flight of stairs

and then my faggottry starts here
>>17543767
>Unable to reach you with their Gopher brand grabbers the land whale horde pauses to asses the recent turn of events.
>Stairs, your ultimate defense, their ancient enemy.
>Taking a moment to catch their breath from the labor of moving the rascal's control stick they watch in hunger as you taunt them from the high ground.
>Also a snack break is required.
>The weakest of the pack, sensing danger makes a break for it.
>It didn't get far.
>You look on in disgust as the wobbly masses devour one of their own in a cannibalistic orgy of blood and cheetos.
>All that's left is a mangled rascal chair and a grease spot.
>The snack time over they return their futile attempts to climb the stairs.
>Flipping them off you toss pebbles at the sea of flab. Enjoying the indignant grunts and squeals as the rocks make contact.
>The lead pork monster meets your gaze with the fury of a thousand burning patty melts blazing from within its porcine eyes.
>With a suddenness that shouldn't be possible with that much mass to ass ratio it whips out a mossberg 12 gauge from within a roll of gut.
>Mobile hambeast used gun.
>It was super effective!
>Your lifeless body rolls down the steps as the mass creeps forward with a groan of electric motors to consume it's prize.
>Bad End.
Just messin, I still LOVE you America                       FUCK YEAH