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Supplemental document for: "Theory that Roger Stone's back channel to Wikileaks was Randy Credico", link: https://wakelet.com/wake/2d352ae9-febe-44a1-a7bb-51674a2e4bf5 Randy Credico on "The Nick Di Paolo Show". Broadcast date: December 13, 2017. Excerpt runs from 0:16 to end of file. File link: http://www.mediafire.com/file/t16tzo02bedt6fe/The_Nick_Di_Paolo_Show_-_December_13th%2C_2017_%5B360p%5D_-_Credico.mp3/file The dynamic between Di Paolo and Credico is that of two brothers, where the taunting on the part of Di Paolo can quickly turn cruel. It should be noted that the only person I have come across who has this friendly, intimate rhythm with Credico on the radio is Roger Stone. Di Paolo treats Credico as a kind of chickenhead, a carny act, and when Di Paolo, a cruel fascist of a man, sneers at Credico's pretenses, Credico doesn't have the energy or will to sass back. Credico is a bully, happy to pick on anyone who he thinks of as vulnerable, yet quickly turns when they fight back - he has the cowardice of the bully, and the emotional neediness of the bully as well. In this, he is one more jagged reflection of the current president - though both men would despise being compared to each other. Credico feels the need for approval of a number of men - Roger Stone, Julian Assange, and Nick Di Paolo - all of whom look upon him with some mixture of contempt. All three men pick up on a core of emotional neediness in Credico, and know that he is easily manipulated because of it - and the same could be said of Trump vis a vis Putin. Most notable in this transcript is Credico's open admission that he was $100K under the table by Roger Stone for political work on the Golisano campaign, which raises the possibility of when else Stone paid him undisclosed sums for political work. There are the allegations of criminality on the part of WBAI staff, and he makes clear that he is in regular contact with Assange, and though he passes himself off as technically inept, he uses Signal for these communications - he gets a message during the broadcast from Assange. Audio excerpt of Credico's admission of being paid $100K by Stone for political work can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYl4_9YHjC4 Originally, it was stated here that Credico makes explicit that he is a Seth Rich truther - this actually takes place on the broadcast of the night before: https://pastebin.com/ECKmrH8S Throughout the course of the show, Credico gets drunker and drunker. NICK DI PAOLO Sitting to my right, the man we had on the phone last night...the legend, the man who was subpoenaed by Congress, because of this whole Julian Assange / Wikileaks / Roger Stone mess. Lot of people, Roger Stone fingered this guy, this friend of mine. This comedian. This far left radical, a protege of William Kunstler- RANDY CREDICO And I still love you! DI PAOLO -who represented every piece of garbage on the earth. But he's a good guy. CREDICO I still love you, man. In spite of your politics. That's what's amazing about- DI PAOLO My parents say that too. CREDICO In spite of your politics- I was talking to Jimmy Dore today, and we both think that you're completely hilarious. Even though we're both left- I don't know what left- I don't even know what left and right is. I'm like...pro-Second Amendment. Alright? I do Fred Dicker's show- ["Live from the State Capitol / Focus on the State Capitol"] DI PAOLO I don't know who- Who's Fred Dicker? CREDICO Fred Dicker is- He's the uuh former state editor of the New York Post. And he's been in Albany for thirty years. He's a conservative, ex-leftist turned far right- DI PAOLO When did he make the turn, Randy? When he met you? [laughs] CREDICO No no, he made the turn, back in, like, 1968. Alright? So, he beceame a far right guy, but he loves me, I do his radio show every Friday. At 10:00am. I'll be doing it this Friday, at 10:00, out of Albany, and it's the same station that has Laura Ingraham- DI PAOLO Rush. CREDICO Yes. As [tries to do Rush, sounds less like Rush, and more like some Western villain, a coal baron or railroad magnate] Rush Limbaugh is on the show, and we're going to be talking to right now, with my good friend, uh, Nick DiPaolo, and we'll be talking to him, in just a few minutes. DI PAOLO Can I say something about Rush? I have a book, Colin Quinn was somewhere where Rush was, and Rush had a book out, and so Colin said, "Can you sign this to my friend Nick Di-?" And- and Rush put "You're too conservative for me." [both men laugh] CREDICO I don't know- DI PAOLO He saw me on "Tough Crowd" make some racial comments- But I'm not! I'm not! CREDICO We are- We are- Listen, we are, this is what's great about today. [this is said over DI PAOLO's last line] DI PAOLO But I'm not Randy! CREDICO Let me say- Wait a second- DI PAOLO I'm pro-abortion, I'm pro-gay marriage- CREDICO Yes, well, listen. So's Roger Stone. Alright? So...let me just say this. Would Nick DiPaolo - you have two Italians here. Two Italian-Americans. My grandparents actually...were born in Italy and they came here- I could become an Italian citizen, and I might! Real soon. I can take the- DI PAOLO They were both born in Italy? CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO Your parents? CREDICO My grandparents. My grandparents- DI PAOLO You have Indian in you, too. CREDICO I have Indian, people think- people think I have Mongolian blood in me. Because I have high cheek bones. But it's the- DI PAOLO No, because you have a giant forehead and you drool like a retard. Go ahead. CREDICO Yeah...I'm drooling now? DI PAOLO Ah, the spittle. I don't see any spittle coming out of your mouth. You used to look like a pitbull, with rabies, when you get excited. CREDICO Well, I'm not getting excited right now. But I- Listen, this is going to be the quickest two hours [DI PAOLO: It is.] you folks have ever heard. We're gonna ask for a full day. DI PAOLO Randy can talk. Randy is like an auctioneer. CREDICO We have a lot of fucking stories to talk about. But I can actually use that kind of language. DI PAOLO You tried to pick up my wife once. Go ahead. CREDICO Well, who wouldn't? I mean, Andi's like one of the most beautiful women in the world. [DI PAOLO: Thanks.] But- not recently [sic - CREDICO isn't trying for a diss - he's just clumsy with words]. DI PAOLO You didn't pick her up recently. Oh yeah. In L.A., here's what it was. I had a- CREDICO Oh, wait a sec- You're worse than- You're worse than that guy, the boxer- DI PAOLO Oh, I'm going back too far? [CREDICO: Wait a sec.] Am I going back too far? CREDICO What's his name? That guy- That guy Robert De Niro played? The boxer. DI PAOLO Jake La Motta. CREDICO Yeah. "You hitting on my wife?" I would never hit on your wife, you could kill- DI PAOLO No, but here's what you did: you uuuuuh- CREDICO Which is the one with the alcohol in it? DI PAOLO She gave you a ride to the airport or something. Or gave me a ride to the airport. Dropped me off, and then you said, [laughs] you went back home, then you went back to my place- Something like that. Or she gave you a ride- CREDICO Oh, you're one sick motherfucker. DI PAOLO What are you talking about? You stayed at my apartment. CREDICO I know! DI PAOLO She found one of your pubes on a bar of soap! She threw up for like three days. CREDICO Well, so did I. When I saw it. So...let me just say this. DI PAOLO Go ahead. CREDICO She is one of the most beautiful...and she's sharp. She is- DI PAOLO Sharp as a tack. CREDICO She is so...you have to get up real early, early- She's one of those that- [DI PAOLO: Yeah.] It's like- I used to work strip joints in Florida, [DI PAOLO laughs] Wait. Let me just say something. DI PAOLO You're bringing my wife into a strip joint?! CREDICO I wanna tell ya- DI PAOLO She looked just like this broad Na-eesha. CREDICO [laughs] No. They were all called like, Tangerine- DI PAOLO Hey. Quiet for this. [said to someone else, either ANDY FIORI or CRISTINA PALUMBO] CREDICO Tangerine, or shit like that. Right? [DI PAOLO laughs] Tangerine... DI PAOLO Welcome Tangerine to the center stage. CREDICO Bloody Mary, whatever, there's just... DI PAOLO Yeah. CREDICO But your wife... DI PAOLO Yes. [said like someone dealing with a slow child telling a wandering story] CREDICO And I knew her back then...it's like, you think she's from the South, or somewhere, she is very sharp. She is one of the sharpest people- DI PAOLO You know where she grew up? CREDICO Where? DI PAOLO Right outside of Waterbury, Connecticut. Tiny town called Wolcott. But here's the thing- CREDICO Yeah, but- I just wanted to tell you- Back then, she- I haven't seen her in twenty two years, I had an exchange with her, using _your_, your uuuuh Facebook, or- DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO Whatever it is. [DI PAOLO: Yes.] Cuz you don't- You're like me- You're like- You and I are like Alley Oop, we don't know a fucking thing about technology. DI PAOLO No. CREDICO Right? So, that's why this whole Russia-gate thing- DI PAOLO You must know a little bit about it. CREDICO I know very little! I don't even- I- Listen, I have a hard time getting my password changed. DI PAOLO Can I just repeat to the audience, this is the guy who was subpoenaed, the comedian who was subpoenaed. And uh, Roger...Stone, who's a friend of his- I- CREDICO Why not? Is that bizarre? That he's a friend of mine? DI PAOLO But he- but he- He's sortof fingered you- CREDICO Yes. He was a rat. DI PAOLO But you got that guy from the New Yorker, the New Yorker, who just got fired. What's his name? Laza? Liza? Sexual harassment. CREDICO Oh, did he get fired? DI PAOLO And he- CREDICO Did he get fired? DI PAOLO Yes. He posted- CREDICO He should've been, but for posting that. DI PAOLO He- He posted a tweet, uuuuh and- and in the tweet, Roger Stone says "See I- See I- something, I mistakenly protected Credico," I- I- have it here. CREDICO Oh, go ahead. DI PAOLO I have an affidavit, I have it here. I'm going to get to the bottom- CREDICO Oh, please do. [clip from "The Godfather Part II" plays] DI PAOLO Here it is. Here it is. Ryan Lizza. Re-tweeted CNN Politics, "I asked Roger Stone in March if Randy Credico was his Wikileaks contact. He lied to me, and said 'No.' He just texted me, 'In a misguided effort to protect Credico, who I felt helped me on an off-the-record basis. Sorry.' Many reporters use Stone as a Trump source. Beware." CREDICO Yeah, beware. Of him. Roger Stone is...one of the great comedians of our time. Actually, you know, I brought him into- I brought him in- I'm going to say- DI PAOLO Don't reduce him to a comedian. CREDICO Alright, look: the guy is a showman. And there are things that I cannot discuss right now. About Roger Stone. But I will- If I could only tell you the history...I met him in '92, 2002, I was working the Tom Golisano campaign...Tom Golisano was running against George Pataki [DI PAOLO: I remember], and so, I made, like, a hundred thousand under the table - it's too late Mueller, for you to get me on my taxes for that one. Right? That's fifteen years. I got two hundred- I got a hundred thousand dollars under the table, Mueller. Alright? It's too late and you'll never be able to trace [inaudible - maybe "those"]. DI PAOLO Tom Golisano's a lefty. CREDICO No! Tom Golisano's a guy who did Paychex, and he was, he was a- he was just a huge, big, fat businessman, that ran, and Roger Stone goaded him to run, and he got me to do these ads, for him, against the Rockefeller drug laws, against George Pataki. So I came in, and made- And was able to make this guy look like the biggest racist...in the world. This is- DI PAOLO You're good at that, you're good at that. CREDICO Well yes. DI PAOLO You made Pataki look like a racist. CREDICO Roger Stone- Roger Stone and I were able to- And I was paid very well for this. DI PAOLO Wait a minute. Who is Roger Stone- Was in Golisano's camp? CREDICO He- Yes. He was running his campaign. And he brought me in, because it was a three way race, and Golisano was looking for an issue, and the hot issue back in nine- two thousand two [2002], was the Rockefeller Drug Law. Movement. Which is what I spent five years, seven years of my life working on, and getting people out of prison, organizing, getting people out of prisons, and that became the biggest issue, and everybody parachuted in- DI PAOLO Can I ask a question? CREDICO [does Cuomo] There's the guy, Andrew Cuomo, as if he gave a fuck about anybody, he's up there in Westchester, with Ms. Sondra Lee, living off of her winnings, her losings, and I was fucking around with Car- one of these Kennedys, I'm a giggolo. Alright? He's the biggest giggolo I've ever met in my entire life, Andrew Cuomo, DON'T MAKE ANY MISTAKE ABOUT IT! Can you believe what a bad speaker he is? DI PAOLO Who? Cuomo? CREDICO We go off on tangents. You know that. DI PAOLO Pataki? CREDICO The only way I can do a two hour show is to go off on tangents. DI PAOLO Well, I can pick up some of the slack. You're not doing blow anymore, right? CREDICO [inaudible, doing Cuomo] -this guy is the Fredo, I don't know who the Fredo is. There are two Fredos, Chris Cuomo and Andrew Cuomo. I'M THE REAL FREDO. [clip from "Godfather Part II" plays, the Fredo "I'm smart! And I want respect!" scene] CREDICO Fredo, you're nothing to me now. DI PAOLO You're not a brother... CREDICO Andrew...Andrew... DI PAOLO You're not a brother...You're not a shoemaker... CREDICO You're not a shoemaker...I don't want anything to happen to you... DI PAOLO You're not a tire salesman... CREDICO ...while my mother's still alive. DI PAOLO 866-9669-1969. CREDICO "I was in the olive oil business with Nick's father, but that was a long time ago! They said Nick DiPaolo this, yaheyaaaaah Nick and I...we ran around. They're all lies!" DI PAOLO Here's you are, if you went to Washington. [plays clip of "Godfather Part II", with Frank Pentangeli testifying before the House committee] CREDICO "I didn't know nothing about Nick! People say, did you ever hang out with Nick DiPaolo? I knew him! I knew Nick in Boston, the olive oil business. In the North Side. Him and the Log Cabin, but that's a long time ago." DI PAOLO "They said uuuuuh DiPaolo's telling dick jokes, I said 'Yeah! Sure! Sure.'" CREDICO "Yeah! Nick was doing dick jokes, I said 'Yeah!' He was doing dick jokes, he's a racist, yeah, whatever you want me to say." DI PAOLO Got the guy next to me who might be the leaker of these Wikileaks and- and- and we haven't even fucking- CREDICO I gotta go now, you know that. There are two beautiful women next door. DI PAOLO You told me you knew who the leaker was. CREDICO What's the name of the place? San Francisco? DI PAOLO Del Frisco's. CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO You told me last night, when you were on the show, Randy, you said "I know who the leaker is." [CREDICO is talking inaudibly under this] CREDICO I know who the leaker is. I've had him on my show [reference to Craig Murray, who would say there and elsewhere that he knows who the DNC leaker is, not that he _was_ the leaker; link to transcript of the Murray show: https://pastebin.com/cz7gDRBK audio excerpt of Murray claiming this can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuwlzoFmLFI ]. DI PAOLO There's a hint. CREDICO I've had the leaker on my show. DI PAOLO [Christina] Palumbo [producer of "The Nick Di Paolo Show"] or [Andy] Fiori [producer of "The Nick Di Paolo Show"], get on it. Let's see who's been on his show in the last ten months. CREDICO Good. DI PAOLO And we'll narrow it down. It'll be Merv Griffin's ghost, or a comedian named Gregory [inaudible]- CREDICO You know what Jackie Gayle said about Merv Griffin? If he didn't have his own show, he wouldn't be on anybody else's. DI PAOLO [laughs] Jackie Gayle. Now you're showing your age, you're doing a Jackie Gayle reference. CREDICO Nobody knows who Jackie Gayle is. He's the one who said...Jackie was a great comedian. DI PAOLO I loved him! [pause] CLARK! [presumably a reference to Gayle] CREDICO I was talking about the Italian 500. First one that starts their engine wins. [there seems to be complete silence in reaction to this] DI PAOLO That would be racist today in the circles that you run in. CREDICO But I'm Italian...actually, it was a Puerto Rican joke. DI PAOLO Randy...Randy's a far left guy... CREDICO Don't you have to go to a commercial now? DI PAOLO No. No no. This is fucking satellite radio. You can yap all you want, they're half hour segments. Trust me. CREDICO Are you serious? DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO How do you get away with that? DI PAOLO How do you get away with it? The question should be: how do you do that, Nick? Fucking tell me. CREDICO No, how do you do, like, f- Four twenty minute spots. DI PAOLO Hey- CREDICO Well, I was able to do it, but I always had a lot of great guests- DI PAOLO No, they're thirty minute- twenty five minute spots. CREDICO Ah no, get out of here. DI PAOLO And I have no guests! CREDICO Sometimes you have no guests, no phone calls. DI PAOLO No, I get phone calls. This- CREDICO Is that what you do? DI PAOLO Yeah. It's like working the audience. CREDICO "Play Misty for Me". DI PAOLO Oh, that's right! That was a Clint Eastwood movie back in the seventies. CREDICO Yes. With uh...what's her name. She was really good looking. DI PAOLO And he was a radio show host? CREDICO He was a radio show host, and what was her name? What was the name of the woman? DI PAOLO Annette Benning. CREDICO No. It wasn't Annette Benning. It was- DI PAOLO Lucille Ball. CREDICO No, he's got- DI PAOLO Ethel fucking Merman. CREDICO No, it was- Jon Ishkabibble. I don't know who the fuck it was. But it was certainly..._not_ Joanie, who was Kelly Rogers ex-girlfriend. Alright? DI PAOLO Did I mention Credico... CREDICO Wait a second. Did you find out the name of that person? FIORI I'm looking. CREDICO Who are we talking about? DI PAOLO What, the actress? Ali MacGraw? CREDICO No, it was not Ali- "Play Misty for Me". DI PAOLO I'm around it. I have the right era. FIORI Jessica Walter. CREDICO Jessica Walter. Alright. That's the last film that she did. DI PAOLO Jessica Walter? Who's that dirty whore? CREDICO She went from being thirty to like, ninety, overnight. And nobody knows... DI PAOLO Must have been doing the same drugs you are. FIORI This broad. CREDICO Yeah. Don't say the word "broad" here, I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble, as it is, with you guy.s DI PAOLO I meant twat. CREDICO But he looked good. I saw him on an episode of "Rawhide" the other day. Clint Eastwood. DI PAOLO Look at her. That was before [inaudible]. CREDICO I know. But I saw him in a- Because I watch- I watch Channel three. On files. DI PAOLO Did you see the face he did? This is a thirty nine year old guy, they are so spoiled when it comes to looking at broads. He's been- you know. He's been looking at snatch- CREDICO I'm already, like, roughed up with Roger Stone. I'm gonna have two guys talking about- DI PAOLO Can we get- Can we get Roger Stone to call in? CREDICO 202 262- FIORI Don't say his- Don't tell his number over the air. DI PAOLO Why not? CREDICO I'll give it to you. FIORI Because then- DI PAOLO Then what? FIORI We can't- Tell it to me off air. CREDICO Well, alright. But you're never off air. FIORI Yes, we will be. DI PAOLO This is a rebel show, by the way. CREDICO You wanna get Roger Stone on the phone? DI PAOLO Yes! CREDICO Alright. So, we'll get him on the phone. FIORI Text it. DI PAOLO Get him on the phone. He was going to do the show. But he was caught in traffic, winkwink. CREDICO Alright, we're gonna call Roger Stone. I'm gonna- FIORI Christina [Palumbo] will call him. DI PAOLO Alright, Clark please. CREDICO I'm gonna give you the number here. DI PAOLO I saw the broad, I saw her tits. 1975. CREDICO I gotta call him up first. Cuz he's pinning this whole fucking...scandal on me. He's- like, I- DI PAOLO Can you get Assange on the line tonight? I'll blow you right here, if you get Assange on. CREDICO So would I. I'd blow myself if I'd get him on the line. He'll be listening tomorrow. DI PAOLO It hurts your back. FIORI Christine will take his number. CREDICO Christine, if you can take this number: 202 262- DI PAOLO NONONONONONONO!!! CREDICO I just gave her the first seven numbers. CHRISTINA PALUMBO Don't. CREDICO 202 262... DI PAOLO Don't do that. PALUMBO [screaming] CREDICO Three zero- [so the number is: 202-262-30xx] PALUMBO STOP IT! DI PAOLO No! Don't say it out loud! I told you he was a loose cannon. Oh my god. CREDICO Say that Randy Credico called, and I'll see him in hell. DI PAOLO I got a feeling I'd love Roger Stone if I met him. CREDICO No, he's actually a great guy to hang out with. This is- DI PAOLO He would like me too, wouldn't he? CREDICO Yes, he'd like to hang out with you, but the thing is, the guy, like you, he's socially liberal, right? And- DI PAOLO Yes. He marched in the gay parade, I saw that in the movie ["Get Me Roger Stone"]. CREDICO He marched in the gay parade. DI PAOLO So did my producer. CREDICO So did I. I dressed in drag, when I ran against- I'd do anything to get votes. I got twenty thousand votes, and Sal Albanese ran behind me. DI PAOLO When you ran against who? Cuomo? CREDICO The uh- DI PAOLO The mayor. CREDICO The German mayor. Bill De Blasio. Keeps calling himself De Blasio. Have you ever seen a fucking Italian- DI PAOLO And you got two percent. CREDICO His real last name- DI PAOLO And you got two percent. CREDICO -is Werner. Is Werner Wilhelm. DI PAOLO That's German! CREDICO Werner Wilhelm. But how could a fuck- you run for mayor, in the city of New York, with a German last name? So he changed it. "I thought it was the right thing to do." DI PAOLO He's German?! CREDICO Yes! DI PAOLO He's not Italian?! CREDICO His real name is- DI PAOLO Werner Klemperer? [actor on the series "Hogan's Heroes"] CREDICO Werner Wilhelm. DI PAOLO HO-GAN!!! CREDICO Werner Wilhelm. DI PAOLO HO-GAN!!! CREDICO Listen: he's the tallest fucking Italian American in the history of the human race. DI PAOLO Taller than Wilt Chamberlain? CREDICO No. DI PAOLO Chamberlain was half Italian. CREDICO Listen: he's the only Italian American- DI PAOLO He's Black. He's got Italian blood in him. CREDICO -that's over six- He's six eleven. Six foot eleven. He's the only Italian American, this guy- DI PAOLO Look at Lou Groza. CREDICO Lou Groza was five eleven. The second tallest was Caesar, who was four eleven. DI PAOLO Randy, hold on. Hold on. I just have to- Because you- CREDICO Lou Groza was a toe. DI PAOLO No, I know. He was a kicker for the Cleveland Browns, like in the fifties, and he CREDICO -used to tackle too- DI PAOLO But I gotta tell you, when you referenced Lou Groza, this was the Comedy Cellar twenty something years ago, we're looking at some broad, she was sitting a couple tables away, and we thought- We were having an argument about whether she was- Whether she was hot or not, and Randy [laughing] looks at her feet, and goes, "She's got feet on her like Lou Groza." CREDICO I said that? My god, I'm going to have every feminist in the world- DI PAOLO I use it on-stage to this day, in front of twentysomethings. Even my dad forgets who Lou Groza is. CREDICO There's a woman Mike Reynolds once set me up with, and she was like, it was a horrible situation. I said: it was the worst lover in my life. And I said- well, she was like- DI PAOLO Judy Gold. CREDICO No. It was- I called her va-voom. DI PAOLO She's French. CREDICO I called her va-voom - you ever see- DI PAOLO She had a big hole, you said? CREDICO No, I did not see- [clip from "Godfather Part II" plays, the cake eating scene] DI PAOLO She got a big- She had a big- CREDICO I said, I said she was not a great lover. And I called her va-voom, and Mike Reynolds, like, extrapolated from- DI PAOLO Mike Reynolds, by the way, comedian, used to get a ton of ass. CREDICO Mike Reynolds- DI PAOLO Yeah, handsome Irish guy- CREDICO -nose changed. DI PAOLO Oh yeah. CREDICO The nose changed, it changed his love life. Alright? DI PAOLO He busted his nose- No, he went- CREDICO He went from looking like the guy- DI PAOLO He went to get his nose changed- CREDICO -Johnny Cool [cartoon character that used to appear in Camel cigarette advertising, a camel with a large nose] DI PAOLO He went to get his nose fixed, right? Handsome fucking Irish guy. Colin Quinn's one of his close friends. Goes to get his nose fixed, the guy f- The doctor fucks it up. He's got a nose like a boxer. CREDICO It looks like that scene- That episode of the "Twilight Zone" where this beautiful woman, they make her face look like...a horse? You know what I mean? ["The Eye of the Beholder" link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Eye_of_the_Beholder ] DI PAOLO [laughs] No, I don't know what you mean. CREDICO It's like putting a mustache on the Mona Lisa. That's what they did to Mike Reynolds. And he stopped getting laid after that. And he started suing- DI PAOLO He looked like he lost sixty pro-fights. CREDICO It's- I know he did. Like- DI PAOLO No collagen in his nose. CREDICO I don't know what happened to him, but- I know he's suing- He's upset, but it was too late. They- they- drilled out- It's like...you remember the Marx Brothers film where the guy trims off the entire mustache, Groucho- I mean, Chico, and Harpo- The guy's sitting there, he wants a hot shave, and instead of giving him a trim, they cut off the whole fucking mustache- [from "Monkey Business"] DI PAOLO I gotta remind him the audience is under seventy. CREDICO "You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff." [from "Duck Soup" - a favorite quote of Credico's] DI PAOLO You're not doing the Fred Dicker show in Albany. CREDICO This is- This is a younger crowd here. DI PAOLO It is. CREDICO Do your research. Watch the Marx Brothers, and the two women at the Francica bar [sic - presumably, he means Del Frico's], I'll be there in an hour and a half. DI PAOLO Before we get there, before Roger Stone calls- Give me your opinion on what happened in Alabama, last night, with Roy Moore- This really is not a reflection of the Democratic- CREDICO Aw listen, you're not going to get me into supporting your right wing agenda here. DI PAOLO No, I'm not. Nono- CREDICO But I gotta tell ya something, the guy should have won by a million votes, instead of twenty thousand. Alright? The guy should have won by a million votes. DI PAOLO Why? CREDICO Well, he did- Doug Jones- Doug Jones- The fact of the matter is- They held their ground- They held their ground- It's not good for the Democrats. Plus, I will tell you this: that, the fact is, that McConnell and these guys are thrilled that this guy didn't make it. DI PAOLO I know, I know. CREDICO Thrilled that he didn't make it. DI PAOLO And they're to the left of you. CREDICO And this is a pyrrhic victory for the Democrats. DI PAOLO A pyrrhic victory! CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO That's what I said! CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO To my wife! I even used the word pyrrhic! CREDICO Yes. They got rid of this guy, they don't have a- his- you know, persona, defining the Republican Party, this is something- DI PAOLO You say it's a pyrrhic victory for the Democrats. CREDICO Yes, the Democrats. The Democrats- it was a big loss for them. It was pathetic for them. DI PAOLO For who? IT WAS A BIG LOSS FOR WHO? CREDICO For the Democrats! DI PAOLO You just said it was a pyrrhic victory for the Democrats! CREDICO The Democrats- DI PAOLO Oh, I get you. CREDICO In other words, the Democrats won this, but they lost it, alright? DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO Alright? They lost it because- DI PAOLO Tell them why. CREDICO Because they don't have...the Republicans don't have this guy...in their house anymore. It's [inaudible]- DI PAOLO The baggage is gone. CREDICO It's gone...and they could have used- DI PAOLO It's gone. CREDICO If he was with them- DI PAOLO Can I play devil's advocate on you? [CREDICO: Yeah.] They're gonna use this...now, that fucking that uh- CREDICO Don't tell me Chuck Schumer's some left-winger, alright? Chuck Schumer is a fucking Wall Street whore. DI PAOLO But they're gonna use this as an excuse to turn on Trump now. The sexual harassment stuff. CREDICO I don't- I don't think so. DI PAOLO Because Moore lost, and this is proof- CREDICO Kirsten Gillibrand can't do it, because- DI PAOLO They're gonna take the moral high ground- CREDICO She worked for the tobacco industry for twenty fucking years. DI PAOLO That's got nothing to do with it. CREDICO Kirsten Gillibrand. DI PAOLO There are pictures of her and Bill Clinton. CREDICO I know about her, and- and uh a guy by the name of Charlie King. Alright? I know all about- DI PAOLO Who? Chucky King? CREDICO Charlie King. He ran for attorney general- DI PAOLO He's a point guard, for the fucking... CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO Supersonics. CREDICO -was...so was...so was Bill De Blasio, he was a- he was a center for the Italian team from Milan. Six foot eleven Italian guy... DI PAOLO [laughing] Okay. Focus. CREDICO How does anybody- I want to get back to that! How does anyone six foot eleven- Rip Van Wink- like, I call him, because he sleeps a fucking a lot. Rip Van Willhelm, because he's German. Rip Van Willhelm. DI PAOLO You know why he sleeps late? To get the Black vote. [laughs] CREDICO Oh, that is the most- That's the crudest thing I've ever- DI PAOLO That's right on the money. CREDICO That's something- Huh? DI PAOLO Anybody who argues with that is dead inside. Bill De Blasio's kid has an afro, Bill De Blasio shows up at press conferences late, and Black people are "I like this! This guy's on Black time, we're gonna vote for this motherfucker." CREDICO Oh my god- You can't be saying that on television. DI PAOLO Randy, your thoughts? Randy, you half a fucking Italian Indian, your thoughts? CREDICO I'm Native American. DI PAOLO There's no such thing. CREDICO And I totally disagree. DI PAOLO I was born- I was born- I was born in this country- I'M A NATIVE AMERICAN! YOU LEFT WING MOTHERFUCKER! CREDICO I thought he was going to leave the reactionary shit at home tonight, and we were just going to have a nice conversation- DI PAOLO I'm a reactionary, now. CREDICO I have no idea what your politics are, but: you're funny. That's the thing. I can actually sit down and go to- watch him on- my brother was his biggest fan. I said this last night. DI PAOLO And your brother is... CREDICO "Let's watch Nick DiPaolo!" I said "That motherfucker is-" DI PAOLO And your brother's name is Paladino. CREDICO Richard Credico. The late Richard Credico. He died 2009. DI PAOLO I'm sorry to hear this. CREDICO I was at his house in Columbus, Ohio- DI PAOLO If those Rockefeller laws were working, he'd still be alive. CREDICO Way- way back in 2009, we were watching you, just absolutely adored- And a lot of my friends- DI PAOLO A lot of people do. CREDICO I was talking to Jimmy Dore, who's like, to the left like I am, and we say- "We don't agree with Nick's politics, but he's funny, he's a great stage comic!" Alright? He's a great comic on stage, he's got incredible delivery- And he's funny- DI PAOLO On stage. Where else would you find a comic, roofing? What the fuck? CREDICO Yeah, you're right. Playing pinball. Alright? DI PAOLO He's a great stage comic. As opposed to those comics that do comedy in their driveway. CREDICO There are some guys that- Jolson was a great nightclub performer- DI PAOLO And a good second baseman. CREDICO Did he play second base? That was Alabai Haight? [plays clip of Pastor James Manning, "There's something wrong with the black man's mind!"] CREDICO Now, I'm not a big fan of that guy myself, because he's so- DI PAOLO The Reverend? From Franklin? From Atlanta? CREDICO Who is that? DI PAOLO That's the Pastor Franklin [Jentezen Franklin, a pro-Trump Black pastor - the clip played is from Manning]. CREDICO I have no idea. But you're a Charles Barkley fan, you both- DI PAOLO I love Barkley. CREDICO Alright, you see what he said, right? DI PAOLO Lately? CREDICO He said yesterday, that the Democratic Party - this was a...wake-up call for the Democrats, the Democrats have taken the Black vote for granted. For a long fucking time. And that includes Chuck Schumer, Kirsten Gillibrand, Bill De Blasio - they have done nothing for people of color. [DI PAOLO gives the call-in number over this] Alright? So, I ran against Schumer, and I ran against De Blasio, [does Cuomo] and I ran against Andrew Cuomo, I'm a great speaker, please! I'm not like everyone else thinks I am! I'm not a bad speaker! I'm a good speaker! I was, I was, jump all over me. For you, Chris Cuomo! Taking it for you! I want some respect! [does Michael Corleone as Chris Cuomo] That's not what Papa Mario wanted. [back to Andrew Cuomo] It's the way I wanted! I want to be treated! ["The Godfather Part II" clip plays, of Fredo yelling "I'm not dumb! I'm smart!"] CREDICO Boy, that was a great role. That's one of the great roles of all time. You know, I always watch it- DI PAOLO You know who originally was going to get that role? You don't even know this. Bob Denver. Remember Gilligan? CREDICO Really? I know one thing. I know how Al- I know who became Sollozzo. [does Don Corleone] "I must say no, and I give my reasons. It's true that, uh, drugs is a dirty business. Doesn't matter, whatever you say, it's just that your business is a little dangerous." [does Sollozzo] "If you're worried about protection-" [it's Sonny's line, but doesn't do Sonny] "Wait a second, are you trying to tell me-" [does Don Corleone] "I spoil my children as you can see, my no is final, good luck with your fucking business, I'm not going to help you, and I know you're going to try to murder me." Alright? So. So, you go back to that. DI PAOLO I gotta break, but go ahead. CREDICO Go, take the break. DI PAOLO Let me take the break. CREDICO [does Don Corleone] I want to thank Emilio Barzini, for arranging this meeting, and all the other Dons, [inaudible] from Chicago [this is far from an exact quote from the movie, and in the movie, the Don thanks no one from Chicago, nor is the mentioned]. Barzini lost a friend- [leaves Corleone] Alright. [back to Corleone] It was Barzini all along. [does Hagan] You mean Sollozzo. You mean - Tataglia. [does Corleone] Tataglia's a pimp. He could never have outfought uuuuuuh- DI PAOLO Sonny. CREDICO [doing Corleone] Santino. But I didn't know until this very day...Another pezzonovante... [sic - this, famously is Michael's line dismissing these figures - they're all men pulled by our strings] [leaves Don Corleone] Alright, let's go. DI PAOLO President- CREDICO I know every fucking scene from that movie. DI PAOLO We'll get there, pop. CREDICO I'll watch it again. DI PAOLO We'll get there, pop. We'll get there, pop. CREDICO [back to Don Corleone] There wasn't enough time, Michael. There's not enough time...remember. The guy who comes to you, he's the traitor. And remember- DI PAOLO A senator Corleone, maybe a Sirius XM Corleone show- CREDICO [still Corleone] You could've been a Sirius XM host...but uh... DI PAOLO Let's take a break here. CREDICO [still Corleone] I'm not a hack comic... DI PAOLO I'm sitting next to a guy who's subpoenaed in a world fucking story, and we're doing- CREDICO It's all right now, this fucking guy David Corn is shitting on me. Do you know this guy from MSNBC? DI PAOLO Yeah. Yeah. CREDICO This guy is shitting on me. DI PAOLO He makes you look like Strom Thurmmond. I gotta go to break. CREDICO [doing Strom Thurmmond] Pe king qua fied be on Supreme Court [Peter King is qualified to be on Supreme Court]. DI PAOLO [laughing] I gotta go to break. 866-969-1969, if you guys want to ask Randy anything about the Assange, Wikileaks, Hillary Clinton, fucking thick ankled dogface, he knows all the stuff, and he's good friends with Roger Stone. So...we got a live one here tonight. Alright folks, back after this. [break] CREDICO You and I should do a show together. DI PAOLO [unenthusiastic - he's gotten this offer from other comedians, a lot] Yeah. CREDICO Besides this show here. DI PAOLO Let's call it "The Fucking Gay Couple". CREDICO A- a- a- We should do a- some kind of, remember those shows back in the seventies or eighties... DI PAOLO Oh. "Theater of the Mind" type of shit? CREDICO No. It was...it was the...it was like, you had a guy on the left and a guy on the right. "Crossfire"! DI PAOLO "Crossfire". CREDICO Alright, but we'd be a real "Crossfire". Because we could have some fun with it. We're both humorous guys, and- DI PAOLO Yeah, but politically, y-you're- I mean, you're immersed in it. CREDICO No one knows my politics. I do a...right wing show, every Friday. For the last thirteen years. DI PAOLO Yeah, the Fred Dicker show ["Live from the State Capitol / Focus on the State Capitol"]. CREDICO The Fred Dicker show. Look at Fred Dicker. DI PAOLO He's big in Albany. And Buffalo. CREDICO He's very big in Albany- He was the state- DI PAOLO And some of the Indian tribes like him. CREDICO He's big in the state - state-wide... DI PAOLO [inaudible] CREDICO He was the state- state-wide editor of the New York Post. He brought down Eliot Spitzer- DI PAOLO Ooooh! I like him! CREDICO Alright? He brought down a lot of fucking governors...Mario Cuomo wanted to kill him, so, this is a guy, a very powerful guy - for some reason- DI PAOLO [bored] Yeah? CREDICO He likes me. And it's the same reason why, when I'm in California, driving up, from L.A. up 101, that seven hour drive, because I can't take 5 or 99- DI PAOLO [bored] Yes? CREDICO So I take 101, going through all that shit, and the fires, and everything. DI PAOLO Yeah. Calabasas. CREDICO I will listen to- Yes, and where the big dam, like, burst. Out there. The big dam that burst because of Mr. Mulholland. [does a Nicholson, that doesn't sound like him] You want Mr. Mulholland? That's the movie with Jack Nicholson. Remember? You, uh, built the dam- [reference to "Chinatown", though nothing like these lines are in the movie, and the villain isn't "Mr. Mulholland", but Noah Cross] Uuuuuh- DI PAOLO Can I go to the phones? We've got a question for you. CREDICO I know. There's going to be a question. Look, we have a lot of time to fucking burn. We're only doing a second segment, and I'm burning out. I mean, I'm like a rum runner here tonight. DI PAOLO You don't have to stay the whole time. CREDICO I'm going to stay the whole time. [does Frank Pentangeli] I was in the olive oil business with Nick's father! But that was a long time ago! [drops out of Pentangeli] So. We are going to just kindof- ad lib this, which is good, which is good. We're actually going to go through this, and what I expect from the committee, in D.C., is: [does Tom Hagen] "This committee owes Randy Credico an apology! An apology!" I could've taken the Fifth Am- Ah, I did take the Fifth Amendment. ["Godfather Part II" clip plays, again with Pentageli at the committee hearing] CREDICO [doing Pentageli] "I don't know nothing about dat!" DI PAOLO Hey, how about- CREDICO [doing Pentageli] Ooooooooooooh! [Nixon clip plays - "That I welcome this examination."] DI PAOLO This is Trump. CREDICO [does Nixon - his best impression, and on this night, even this one is off] "Because I'm not a crook. I earned everything I've made." DI PAOLO Let's go to- CREDICO That was my first impression, by the way. I stole it from- DI PAOLO Let's go to Jimmy- CREDICO Ah, Jimmy Dore. DI PAOLO I'm going to go to Jimmy in Manhattan. He's uh he's reading a book, and he has a comment about you, Randy, comparison of another left-winger there, that sees through the bullshit. Go ahead, Jimmy, say hi to Randy Credico. CREDICO Hi Jimmy. How you doing? JIMMY IN MANHATTAN Hey Randy. Randy, you're beautiful, thank you for being in my universe. Hey Nick. DI PAOLO Yes sir. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN I'm reading this book on Elia Kazan. And about what- it's about an eight hundred page book. Six hundred page- CREDICO What a fucking cocksucker he was. [JIMMY IN MANHATTAN laughs] I mean, I liked the movie, [does Terry Malloy] "I could have been another Billy Cahn." "You could have had a couple of bets down for you." DI PAOLO That's Randy. Go ahead. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN He's going to distract me. You know. CREDICO That's what I do. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN But- but- but- Basically, you know, I don't know. He sees the evil...of that side. Yet...he's still a part of them. It's like he's a missionary on the left. DI PAOLO That's what- That's a great observation about Elia Kazan and you, Randy...Credico. CREDICO No, Elia Kazan was a- Look. DI PAOLO That's a great observation. CREDICO There's a great movie he made, which is called, uuuuum, "A Face in the Crowd". Alright? He made that, he also made that- that- that film, with Rod Steiger and uuuh- DI PAOLO "A Face in the Crowd", that was about me trying to get a special on Netflix. But go ahead. CREDICO You did, with that guy, uuuuuh, that guy beat you. What was his name? Who's the guy that beat you on uuuuuh that, for comics only? With Ed McMahon. DI PAOLO I didn't go on there, you fucking- I didn't go on there. CREDICO There was a guy, who won it. Like Ken Ober said, "You won?" Alright? I forgot the guy's name. Big tall guy that looked like Lurch. That won the thing- DI PAOLO Ooooooooh! [FIORI talks in the background] "Star Search"! CREDICO The guy that looked like Lurch. DI PAOLO Was it Brad Garrett? CREDICO Ye- DI PAOLO Nah. CREDICO He's one of them, too. No, the other fucking guy- DI PAOLO Al Lubel? CREDICO YES! Al Lubel. That's the one. DI PAOLO A Jewish lawyer from New York, whose mother used to breast feed him till he was eleven. CREDICO Yeah. The late Ken Ober said, "Wait...you won?" [DI PAOLO laughs] Couldn't fucken believe it. Alright? DI PAOLO So- But how does that relate to what Mister Jimmy's saying on the phone? CREDICO Well, Jimmy's saying... DI PAOLO How are you- CREDICO -about the red-baiting, motherfucker- DI PAOLO Thank you Jimmy for the call. You're never going to get a word in. We're gonna let him run with it. CREDICO [does Rod Steiger] Rod Steiger was the guy, just keep him on the line, this was the film with Rod Steiger, [does Brando] and Marlon Brando, and uuuuh what's his name, from "Streets of San Francisco", okay? JIMMY IN MANHATTAN Karl Malden! CREDICO Yeah. That's it. Karl Malden was in that. And so was Jill St. John, or Jill- whatever the fuck her last name was [he's thinking of Eva Marie Saint]. There were a lot of Jills back then. No one calls their kid "Jill" anymore. You notice that? You don't get any fucking Jills anymore. Back then, everyone was called Jill. I wanted to fuck any woman who had the name "Jill". Jill St. John, you name it. I wanted them, alright? You tell me a woman's name, I didn't have to look at her face - her name is "Jill", I want the fucking woman. Here. I don't need any blow- DI PAOLO Would you fuck on the side of a hill? CREDICO I'd never seen a bad looking Jill. Have you? DI PAOLO Uuuuh Jill uuuuh I've only met one Jill. Jill St. John. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN Jill Clayburgh! CREDICO YES! She was gorgeous too! I think that Richard Dreyfuss fucked her in one of those movies ["The Goodbye Girl"]. Right? So. DI PAOLO Jill. Jill. CREDICO Jills were good looking. DI PAOLO It's a weird name, if you say it over and over again. CREDICO Sexist talk that's going to get me in trouble with the- DI PAOLO WITH WHO? How you going to get in- CREDICO With the House Intel Committee, which is unfortunately the fucking right wingers, back in the fifties, they've become the Democratic Party now. You got shitheads like Adam Schiff, and this guy, from- Claywell. Whatever his fucking name is [Eric Swalwell], Castro - everyone on that committee, that's a Democrat- DI PAOLO Adam Schiff is an asshole. CREDICO Shit, yes. We call him full of shit. DI PAOLO He looks like a young Charlie - I told ya. Ummm...who'd I say? The other day. CREDICO He looks like he escaped the wax museum in Florida. DI PAOLO Charles Grodin. CREDICO Yeah, he does. But he definitely looks like a mannequin- DI PAOLO So answer Jimmy's question. Are you another Elia Kazan? You see the evil of the left, yet you're part of them. I think it's a great obv- CREDICO This is not the left. Don't tell me that- These guys are about business. Alright? It's not left or right, anymore. We're talking about people that want fucking wars, with fucking Russia, right now, there's a war industry that's going on, that's the reason why you have people like Adam Schiff - Trump, one thing I agree with Trump, I don't want to send my grandkids to the fucking Estonian front lines to fight the Russians. Alright? He's right on that. [DI PAOLO: Right.] Alright? So, we have to agree with him to not be an interventionist. And...the- DI PAOLO He will send them as far as California. CREDICO Alright. So you have to take a look at what's going on here. He's right on that. He's not an interventionist, but they want a fucking war...and the Deep State is like, fucking with him, on this particular issue. DI PAOLO Can I ask you a question about the Deep State? CREDICO The Deep State, that would be the CIA, and they all have shaved heads by the way. DI PAOLO Obama flunkies, a lot of them. CREDICO All of them- Obama was the fucking worst. Obama used the Patriot- used the Espionage Act more than anybody. From [Woodrow] Wilson on. Combined. Anyone who thinks that this is a good guy, he's a- he is a- a- He is the worst. So far, Trump hasn't even used the Espionage Act [this is false: Reality Winner was charged under the Espionage Act]. Barack Obama, who's a Harvard law professor, used it to put good people in jail. One of them is my good friend- DI PAOLO But they're right wingers that he put in jail. CREDICO One's a tea bagger. And that's like- DI PAOLO Am I right? Right wingers he put in jail. CREDICO He puts anyone- DI PAOLO And he definitely surveilled Trump when Trump got elected [this is the "wiretapping Trump Tower" lie], the whole fucking- We have to get into that. CREDICO There is no right or left here. This is about surveillance. Alright? DI PAOLO [inaudible] say that [inaudible] about the left- CREDICO I wouldn't say Obama's part of the fucking left, he's part of the Deep State. He is their chosen person to surveil [to conduct surveillance]. DI PAOLO Okay, but he's a Marxist, for Christ's sakes. Isn't that left? CREDICO No, I'm a fucking- DI PAOLO Isn't that left? Marxism? CREDICO Marx is what- That you- DI PAOLO Socialism, Marxism- CREDICO Oh c'mon, why you going after him on that ground. That's not the reason to go after Barack Obama. DI PAOLO It might not be your reason. It's my reason. CREDICO People like- DI PAOLO He hates this country. CREDICO William Binney, William Binney is a great American, he was a- he actually is a- DI PAOLO He was Jack's cousin. Go ahead. [joke about William Binney being related to Jack Benny] CREDICO No no. William Binney is the guy that exposed the fact that the NSA- DI PAOLO Jimmy, you can hang up now. You'll be on that fucking line till three. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN I- I- I'm just amazed- DI PAOLO Palumbo, you're alright in there? You doing your job? CREDICO How often you get a guy like me on the show, this is my business here. I'm not talking left or right here. We're just talking about- DI PAOLO I find- CREDICO -the Constitution, I don't- And I agree with Hannity. DI PAOLO Oh my god. CREDICO I don't like the fact that- that the NSA is right now, taking this conversation, and storing it- [DI PAOLO: Right.] in some fucking joint- DI PAOLO In Nevada. CREDICO And you talk, [DI PAOLO: Yes.] or in Fort Meade. Right now, all- Our conversation is being stored. DI PAOLO Randy, hold on. Go ahead, Jimmy. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN You know how important you are? The fact that we're having this agreement, and you're from the other side of the aisle, that- that- that there's a conveyance of something to agree with, and- and Nick don't knock yourself on it too. This is- this is the best open dialogue I've had with someone from the left side of the aisle- DI PAOLO YES! That's why I have him on! CREDICO It's not a left or right thing, this is a- DI PAOLO Thank you, Jimmy. CREDICO -American thing, this is- you take a look at the Bill of Rights, I support all of those ten Amendments, in the Bill of Rights, and the other sixteen whatever- You take a look at the most important, First Amendment, Second Amendment- I support _all of it_. I do not think you should tinker with the Bill of Rights, and they are tinkering with the Bill of Rights. DI PAOLO But where do you separate yourself from guys like Mark Levin? Who are pro-Bill of Rights, and pro-Constitution [CREDICO: Mark Levin?], where do you separate yourself from- CREDICO [doing Levin] It's a way, Carl's whatshisname, communism- [stops Levin] I listen to Mark Levin- DI PAOLO Very smart guy. CREDICO He's actually very entertaining- DI PAOLO Oh! Don't start with the entertaining! He's brilliant! CREDICO Well, to you, he's brill- We don't agree on a lot of stuff. But he's a great radio- DI PAOLO But he agrees with you as far as- CREDICO [does his Rush Limbaugh / successful gold prospector imitation]: I like Rush Limbaugh because he's a great commentator. DI PAOLO See? I got him, and he goes and does an impression. He agrees with you a 1000% on the Bill of Rights- CREDICO No, I agree with- [DI PAOLO: Yeah?] I agree with Sean Hannity on the...he actually is the only one- DI PAOLO That will get you in trouble. CREDICO Well no, he actually comes out and says, that there was a leak, it was _not_ a hack. Let me just say for sure, I know _who_ hacked our- or who did the leaking for the DNC. I've had the person that got the leak on my show [this is a reference to Craig Murray, who claimed to know the identities of two leakers, one at the DNC (who leaked the DNC emails), one at the NSA (who leaked the Podesta emails); a Daily Mail piece would feature the allegation that he had received some of the emails; both Credico and Roger Stone would promote the idea that Murray had received the DNC emails from Seth Rich - this made no sense, since the weekend that was cited by both Murray and the Daily Mail as the one in which he met the leaker (or an intermediary) was after the DNC emails had been released and after Seth Rich had been killed. Link to transcript of the Murray show: https://pastebin.com/cz7gDRBK Audio excerpt of Murray claiming on this show to know the identities of the leakers can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuwlzoFmLFI ]. And I'm not going to say who it is, because he told me not to. DI PAOLO That's ri- CREDICO But I can tell you for sure- DI PAOLO Roger Stone. CREDICO No, it wasn't Roger Stone. But it was a _leak_, it was not a hack. DI PAOLO Kevin [inaudible] CREDICO It was a leak by the DNC- Somebody from the DNC leaked- Both! DI PAOLO Chelsea Handler. CREDICO Both! Both the DNC leaks and the...other one, which is the Podesta leaks. That was not a hack. This fucking hack- He's the one- DI PAOLO Palumbo, find out who was on this guy's show. CREDICO He's a fucking hack! This guy, John Podesta, he's in it for the fucking money, he and his brother are washing money, in uuuuuuuh in Russia, and the Ukraine, they're only into eating like yuppies, and then they make fun of Julian Assange. Let me tell you something: Assange is a fucking hero, his politics are just being... And he's [Assange] probably just a libertarian. He's not like some left-winger. DI PAOLO Who? CREDICO He's a libertarian- Jul- I know him very well. DI PAOLO Who? CREDICO Should we talk about him? DI PAOLO Who? CREDICO When we come back from the break. Julian Assange. My three dinners with him? DI PAOLO [laughs] Yes! I love this guy! CREDICO Who else would have a- [DI PAOLO: He's-] Who else have you had on your show that had three dinners, in the last two months, with Julian Assange? DI PAOLO Jimmy Tingle. CREDICO Yeah, he did. [does Tingle, which sounds like him, but louder] And there they go! It's uuuuuuuuh It's uuuuuuuuh It's the plague in front. [stops being really loud] You ever see that racehorse thing that he does? DI PAOLO [cold as ice] That's Steve Sweeney. You're confusing your Boston Irish. [there is an empty hanging silence, like in a Pinter play] Let's go to the- Let's go to the- We got a question here for Randy...Randy, Kevin of Minnesota wants to know your views on the military. Kevin, say hi to Randy Credico, he'll be...maybe in Washington under subpoena. CREDICO I will not be there. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA [sounds drunk] Heeeyyyyyyyy. You may end up in Guantamamo [sic]. CREDICO Now, can you spell that for me. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA Hey [inaudible]. I want to say hi to- CREDICO Can't you say something nice about me? Instead of slamming me, and hoping that I end up in- KEVIN OF MINNESOTA I love everything you said last night, I drove a truck twelve hours last night, I've listened to you twice...last night. DI PAOLO He's a walking class. CREDICO Are you a Teamster? Are you a Teamster? KEVIN OF MINNESOTA Uh no, I'm a United States Steel Workers Union. Yes. CREDICO So, let me ask you a question- DI PAOLO [laughs] This guy drives a truck for a living. CREDICO Are you with the Steel Workers union, or with the Teamsters union? KEVIN OF MINNESOTA Uuuuuh...no. CREDICO That's not...either one. [pause] So you're working on the side. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA Steel workers. Union proud. Yes. Absolutely. CREDICO And so, you're one of those union guys that supported Trump, right? KEVIN OF MINNESOTA [pause] Absolutely. CREDICO And tell me why you supported Trump, because Hillary Clinton never went down to where you are, and she never related to workers like you. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA Down?! Jesus Christ, I'm up by Canada, for Christ's sake. Get your shit together. Goddamnit. [DI PAOLO is laughing a lot] CREDICO Where the fuck are you, in northern Minnesota? DI PAOLO Two drunks- KEVIN OF MINNESOTA You're goddamn right I am. DI PAOLO Two drunks having a [inaudible] CREDICO Who was that fat motherfucker that used to work in Minnesota- What was his name Scott- Scott something. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA [inaudible] wind chill every morning, motherfucker. CREDICO Scott Hansen. DI PAOLO What's the question? CREDICO Minnesota. [sudden jump in volume of a drunk] ALRIGHT, YOU'IN- YOU'RE- WAIT A SECOND, WE'RE having a good conversation here. You are a union worker, and Hillary Clinton did not touch base with you. Am I right? KEVIN OF MINNESOTA Absolutely not. CREDICO So, but did you like...[does Bernie Sanders] Bernie Sanders- Bernie Sanders actually did some nice things. DI PAOLO [difficult to tell if Di Paolo is mocking Credico - just sounds like the pretend robot voice everyone does] I do a pretty good Bernie Sanders. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA No no - we love the Jews in northern Minnesota. CREDICO Let's not become anti-semitic- DI PAOLO Randy. CREDICO -because I could get into a lot of trouble. DI PAOLO [does robot Bernie Sanders] Let me do my Bernie Sanders. [no longer robot Sanders] He couldn't get the Black vote. That's why he lost to Hillary. I kept emailing him: I said, "Change your first name to Colonel". CREDICO [pause] Awww, that's very very- Let me tell you something. She won all those southern states that the Democrats could never win. And who gives a fuck? DI PAOLO I'm getting a sheepish look from both my producers. Who've been doing radio for ten years. Really? That's- [KEVIN OF MINNESOTA is loud, drunk and inaudible here] CREDICO [Sanders] That's because you're bogarting the rum! That's the problem! The problem is you bogart the rum. DI PAOLO By the way, Tavis Smiley is in trouble, couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Here's a guy- CREDICO Who loves authority. DI PAOLO -that hates Whitey at every- CREDICO Aw, will you stop saying that? DI PAOLO He hates white people- CREDICO I've done his show before. DI PAOLO He's got that big- Yeah, and that proves my point. He's got that big, shit eating grin. CREDICO Who's whiter than I am? Besides the guy on the other line. He's whiter than fucking Himmler. DI PAOLO Alright, Kevin, did he answer your question? This is like a battle of two guys- KEVIN OF MINNESOTA -my question- DI PAOLO Well, get it on- CREDICO We want to hear it. DI PAOLO Get to it. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA Jesus Christ, you guys...nipple twisting, [inaudible] CREDICO I have so many fucking packages of sugar- KEVIN OF MINNESOTA How do we feel about transgenders- CREDICO That's me, I changed my sex. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA -being in the military? DI PAOLO How do you feel about transgender military? I've got the article- CREDICO I don't think anyone should serve in the military, and be involved in these wars that- Trump is against these wars. So, I would say that I'm against people joining the Army, to participate in wars of aggression. Whether they be- DI PAOLO How are they wars of aggression? CREDICO Alright- KEVIN OF MINNESOTA I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about- CREDICO Oh- why- why do you send these boys anywhere? Why- where are they going to go? DI PAOLO Wait a minute, these aren't boys. These are boys slash girls. CREDICO Whatever. They're boys, or women, or transgenders, or fucking eunuchs- Why are you sending these people- DI PAOLO Listen. I know a soldier who got blown up, right? He lost his nuts and her tits. CREDICO For what? [DI PAOLO laughs] Why are we going to fight, we're fighting for big oil, alright? We're not fighting- DI PAOLO Well, how do you warm your house? With candles? [KEVIN OF MINNESOTA laughs] CREDICO No, we got enough oil here. We're now exporting oil. We don't need their oil anymore. DI PAOLO Okay, you know why? You know why we're still playing with oil? Because we can't use fossil fuels, because of you cocksuckers. 866-699-1969. CREDICO Now he's definitely exposed me as a cocksucker. DI PAOLO Kevin, thank you for the call. CREDICO Great. DI PAOLO Not literally. I call everybody that. CREDICO Well, why is that a negative term? DI PAOLO What? Why do you hate the military so much? CREDICO Why do you call- I love the military! [DI PAOLO: They protect you!] I don't want to send them over- I DON'T WANT TO SEND THEM OVER- to fight, for the...Deep State. Do you? DI PAOLO [incredulous] The Deep- The Deep State's not the ones who send them over! CREDICO We want- We want- We want- DI PAOLO Is that what you're telling me? CREDICO We want- Yes- DI PAOLO Bruce Orr and his whorey girlfriend? CREDICO Do you- So why are we fighting the Russians, then? In Estonia. For what? What do we want there? DI PAOLO We haven't- We're not fighting them there. CREDICO They only have one fucking base outside of the Crimea, we have forty five around Russia, and four- [inaudible] around China- DI PAOLO And it's working pretty good, isn't it, Randy? You wouldn't had them years ago [sic]. CREDICO This is- This is what- DI PAOLO [inaudible] bombing at them y- CREDICO So you and Obama agree on this. DI PAOLO On that we agree. CREDICO You and Obama agree, having- spending- seven hundred billion dollars- DI PAOLO [laughing] Mr. Obama got something right. CREDICO But, by having- DI PAOLO He gutted the military, what are you talking about? CREDICO He did not gut the military. We have seven hundred- DI PAOLO We had too! CREDICO Twelve hundred fucking uh- Why are we in Niger? DI PAOLO That's very obvious. Go to 42nd Street. They're selling fake watches and handbags. CREDICO Listen, you're getting senile here. DI PAOLO That was a good answer. Right over your head, you half an Indian. CREDICO Uh- Native American. DI PAOLO Indian. CREDICO Listen. I so far- Sometimes we have to deal with what's going on with- I'm- [DI PAOLO does the stereotypical war whoop over this] DI PAOLO Randy Credico is on the show, his mother was Cherokee, his mother was actually Elizabeth Warren's sister, Diane Warren. CREDICO You know what? That- whatshisname Andrew Cuomo's always- His mother- His mother- DI PAOLO Fiori make a note of this part of the show. Because [inaudible] Seriously, make a note. CREDICO -was attacked by a lizard. Alright? DI PAOLO What? CREDICO Andrew Cuomo. If you take a look at him, he's always like- like- DI PAOLO Why are you obsessed with Cuomo?! You do a thousand voices, I've heard Cuomo eight times already. CREDICO You have? DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO You ever hear my James Mason? [does Mason] James Mason. You ever hear my James Mason? [inaudible] she said, that was star quality. [drops Mason] Your fans wouldn't even know that. They wouldn't even know Popeye. [does Popeye] Ooooooh, what until I come back- DI PAOLO Wait, I do a Popeye! CREDICO [doing Popeye] Well, blow me down, fucking Nick fucking Nick the cocksucker's going to- Nick the cocksucker, motherfucker motherfucker, right wing motherfucker's going to- DI PAOLO Do you believe this is the- this is the- FIORI I need to apologize to you... DI PAOLO This is the guy- This is the guy- that fucking- This is the guy that Congress is subpoenaeing. He's doing Popeye! CREDICO Can you imagine me, in front of Congress, "Mr. Credico, did you ever have-" [doing Popeye in front of Congress]: "Yes, I did AAAAAGAGAGAGAGA- AAAAAGAGAGAGAGA-" [now, does himself doing what's supposed to be Nicholson from "A Few Good Men" in front of the Committee - it's not Nicholson, just someone loud and mean] "Mr. Schiff, let me ask you a question. Do you know the truth, Mr. Schiff? You piece of shit, ahahahahahaha." Can you imagine that. Why would they want me there? They decided...not to call me there this week. Once they heard I was taking the Fifth, they said, "He doesn't have to show up to do that." DI PAOLO Let's go to Jason in D.C. [caller was also on the night before] CREDICO Somebody's gotta say something nice to me. DI PAOLO Randy. Focus. Jesus Christ, he's like a cat on fucking coke. CREDICO Hey...gentlemen... DI PAOLO Jason in D.C. wants to know about your connections with Assange. Right, Jason? JASON FROM D.C. Yeah...I wanna know, you know, how well you know the guy, and... CREDICO Really well. JASON FROM D.C. If he is [inaudible]- CREDICO Really well. JASON FROM D.C. -better than- CREDICO Really well. Really well. Really well. I've spent the last- September 6th, I was in London, September 6th, and then I went back uuuuuh and then I went back and spent- And it cost me a fortune. Alright? To hang out with him, because I went to...uuuuh Harrods. To get fish n chips. Fucking eighty seven motherfucking dollars. For fish n chips- DI PAOLO Focus, Randy, focus. CREDICO I'm gonna tell ya...so, we hung out, and then I went back- I went back November 13th, then the 16th; And we had uh, I brought him a bottle of Bulleit. [pause] Bulleit. [DI PAOLO's hissing balloon laugh] JASON FROM D.C. What...did he swallow it? CREDICO NoNo- We just had a long conversation, he is very smart, we talked about uuuuh- DI PAOLO Face to face? CREDICO Yes! I spent three hours- DI PAOLO In the embassy? CREDICO In the embassy. Three times, I've been with him in the embassy. DI PAOLO I don't understand this, people want to kill him. While are they- JASON FROM D.C. Yeah! How are you [inaudible] DI PAOLO How the fuck they let you in? CREDICO What do you mean, how they let me in? DI PAOLO Who are you? CREDICO They let me in. You have to go through a heavy process- DI PAOLO They have your name at the front desk, like, Sirius Radio? CREDICO Yes. So you go in- So here's the deal: you go in, and he- He gives you, like, three or four days ahead of time, to visit the embassy. And sit down with him. You have to go through a lot of protocol with the Ecuadorian embassy. DI PAOLO I'd like to meet him. CREDICO So, the last time I was there- The last time, I spent a lot of quality time with him, was...uuuuh- I was there to cover the...hearing, in the High Court of London, by some Italian uuuuuuh journalist, by the name of Stefania Maurizi. In the High Court of London, who was trying to access uuuuuuh transmissions of emails [sic]... DI PAOLO Were you working for "The Daily Show" at that time [the balloon hissing laugh]? CREDICO Transmissions of emails between the British prosecutor and the Swedish prosecutor. So, I was there, and I went there September... DI PAOLO Are you a lawyer, Randy? CREDICO November- Let me finish this story, then- November 13th- DI PAOLO Alright. I wish you would, we gotta go do a break. CREDICO November 13th, I went there at six o'clock at night, stayed there till ten o'clock at night. And we had the greatest conversation, talking about cricket versus football, and a whole bunch of secrets that the CIA would like to hear, but I'm not going to tell the cocksuckers. Alright? And we had a long conversation- JASON FROM D.C. I have another question. CREDICO And I brought in some great food, I brought in oysters from Harrods, [JASON FROM D.C. says something inaudible] and I brought lobster rolls, and I went back in there, three days later, with him, and spent two hours- DI PAOLO The gentleman has another question. CREDICO I love the guy, he's the smartest guy I've ever met, in my _life_. And he is being persecuted, and this is all going to bounce back. They don't want the- DI PAOLO You're gonna tell me he's the smarter then Louis Faranda [comedy club booker - a profile is here: https://nypost.com/2007/11/05/dream-job-louis-faranda/ ], the guy that ran Catch A Rising Star [comedy club]? CREDICO He's actually smarter than- Well, not as smart as him. DI PAOLO [inaudible] CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO Jason, Jason. Jason, hold on the line. I gotta go to break. CREDICO I gotta take a piss too. DI PAOLO Randy has to take a- He's got a bag on his hip. He's going to pee right here. Uuuuuuh. [CREDICO: I'll just pee here. I'll go in this cup.] Why are you wearing a Greek fisherman's hat? You look like a fucking lesbian. CREDICO How about this thing right here? This is from the show that I do. DI PAOLO H.R. Pufnstuf? [FIORI is laughing in the background] CREDICO Yes. That's the show- DI PAOLO Marty Kroft? CREDICO Sid and Marty Kroft. Yes. DI PAOLO Nickelodeon, "Mutt and Stuff". CREDICO It's a Nickelodeon show. It's called "Mutt and Stuff". DI PAOLO Hey, thank you for the call, Jason. I appreciate it. You got Randy to focus. We gotta get some ritalin in his Diet Coke. Let's uh- Let's take a b- Let's take a break. CREDICO [at a distance] Are you bored with me now? DI PAOLO No. Bored with you? We're just getting started. This...his pants...he just left, his pants are hanging down like a fourteen year old black kid. Where the fucking- His pants were down to his- His whole underwear hanging out. I have never met a guy like this in my life. IQ of 190...where's he going? [laughs] He's going to pee...he's going to pee in Palumbo's booth. Oh, he's going into the black booth. Hey people are comfortable at age forty five. Let's take a break, folks. We gotta talk to this guy. This guy, I mean, come on, this is a comic who did the "Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson, they told him not to do a Carson impression...and he did it anyways. And he also did a Eva Braun - they told him to stay from that, he did them both. They never asked him back. I love this fucking guy. As left as you come...if you're William Kun- Google William Kunstler. Fans of my show are probably not going to know who that guy is. Unless you're older. But he was a radical lawyer for the far left. Randy lived, like, in the same apartment, below him. They were asshole buddies, like _this_ [presumably makes a gesture]. Couldn't see one without the other. Forever. So he's a real lefty, Randy. But he also sees through the- He's the reason I don't reject them all. [laughing] What are you laughing at, his pants? He- he- Did you see his pants falling down? Like a fourteen year old gangbanger. PALUMBO Yeah, I feel like I need to go find him. DI PAOLO Yeah, you know what? Palumbo's instincts are right on the- I was just thinking, he's probably- Right now- He just took a right into a closet, where there's a bunch of equipment, construction equipment, he's pissing into a hardhat right now. PALUMBO He's walking through the hallways, actually undoing his pants [both laugh]. As if he's in his own hallway. DI PAOLO He's trying to get a job here. 866-969-1969, back after this. [break] CREDICO This is going to be a quick hour, I know that. You get paid for this? DI PAOLO _Yes_. CREDICO You do? DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO Is it based on advertising? Or uh- DI PAOLO No, it's- CREDICO Panhandling? DI PAOLO Panhandling is the base salary. CREDICO Have you ever done that? Have you ever gone, like to a subway entrance? DI PAOLO That's Randy Credico, by the way, being subpoenaed by the Congress. Knows Julian Assange well. And Roger Stone. And apparently, he might have slept with Hillary Clinton. Your thoughts? CREDICO I did. You know, I definitely like- DI PAOLO You like girls with ankles- CREDICO I like girls with ankles like a swimmer. DI PAOLO She is big ankled. CREDICO She actually lives up there in- DI PAOLO Near me! CREDICO She lives up there- DI PAOLO Near me! CREDICO You know, the thing is, she- DI PAOLO I saw her! CREDICO I wrote an op-ed piece, for the Albany Times-Union, and I gotta put this out there: that she came out, and she had [does Sharpton] the Reverend Al Sharpton, and [does Jesse Jackson] Jesse- Jesse- Jackson was at her side. [back to Sharpton] And a whole bunch of others. [out of Sharpton] Having a breakfast. Up there, in 57th Street- DI PAOLO I had breakfast with Al Sharpton. CREDICO [does Sharpton] I did too. Sharpton- Sharpton loves my impression of him. He always said- [drops Sharpton] Actually, if you go to the, if you go to uuuuuh one of these, I don't want to say "Google", because that's not a verb. If you go to an internet search site- DI PAOLO Yeah. CREDICO Yahoo!, Google, the rest of them. DI PAOLO Yeah? CREDICO You'll see- DI PAOLO You, doing that impression? CREDICO He- Sharpton- Sharpton actually brought me up on the stage, and said [does Sharpton] "When I'm not in town, or I got a sore throat, I bring in my brother from the Village. Uh uh clearly, uh Randy Credico-" DI PAOLO Why do you have such a connection with the People of Color, Randy? CREDICO Because I'm of color. Let's get back to it. Why do you not have [one]? Because I'm like people like you, you're Sicilian, which means you're Black. DI PAOLO I'm not Sicilian. CREDICO Yes, you are. DI PAOLO I'm Italian. Big difference. CREDICO No, you are Sicilian. DI PAOLO I am _Italian_. Big difference. CREDICO You are as Black as uuuuuh as- DI PAOLO That's spray shit, I use. I use the Mitt Romney shit. CREDICO Let me ask you a question. DI PAOLO I use the same shit Mitt Romney uses. CREDICO Your family is Siciian? You're like- DI PAOLO [laughing] I'm not Sicilian! I'm from- CREDICO You think Sollozzo was Italian? He's Al Lettieri. DI PAOLO No! Sollozzo is a Turk. CREDICO No, he was- DI PAOLO He was a Turk. He was good with a knife. CREDICO Everyone in that movie was Sicilian. Including Sollozzo. Sollozzo- DI PAOLO He was a Turk! CREDICO You know how he got his job? DI PAOLO Solozzo? CREDICO Al Lettieri. Al Lettieri was, when they were shooting "Godfather One"- DI PAOLO 866- [laughing] CREDICO Al Pacino- DI PAOLO Somebody ask you a question. CREDICO Al Pacino, I'm gonna tell you the story. Al Pacino was hanging out with Francis Ford Coppola- DI PAOLO Yeah? CREDICO And he said, "You gotta go to Emilio's." Emilio's is an- was an Italian restaurant on- DI PAOLO I remember Emilio's. CREDICO Yes. Off of- DI PAOLO In the Bronx. CREDICO Greenwich. Not Greenwich- But off of- What's the one that goes like this [makes a gesture]? DI PAOLO "How's the Italian food in this place?" CREDICO Yes. It's right there on- DI PAOLO Better than the Chinese. CREDICO Right off of Sixth Avenue - would you stop it, alright? Bleeker and Sixth Avenue. There was an Italian place called Emilio's. So, the bartender is Al Lettieri. DI PAOLO Down in the Village? CREDICO Yes! Al Lettieri- DI PAOLO Is it Menata? Menata's? CREDICO No no. It's right there in that little square there. Uuuuuuh on- on- on-...on Bleeker and 6th Avenue. And that street that goes like this. Alright, so, he was working there. DI PAOLO Arturo's! CREDICO [pause] No. DI PAOLO Okay. CREDICO It wasn't Arturo's, Arturo's is- DI PAOLO Ray's Originals? ["Godfather Part II" clip, Hymie Roth saying "Enjoy your cake."] DI PAOLO I just hit that by accident. [clip plays a little more] That was an accident. CREDICO [does Hymie Roth] I'm waiting for...I just want to wait. Now, the Rosato brothers...who gave the order. Now...but who gave the order? There was this man. DI PAOLO [does Pentageli] I'm insulted by this c-note, Rosario. [sic - the line is: "I don't like the C-note Rosato - I take that as an insult."] CREDICO [doing Hymie Roth] There was a man. A man with great vision. He built a whole G.I. stop. Nobody asked! [DI PAOLO says something inaudible, another mangled "Godfather Part II" quote] Because, we knew. We knew- DI PAOLO We imported molasses. We knew he was stupid. CREDICO He was talking very stupid. DI PAOLO Strongheaded. CREDICO Strongheaded. Goes "k- k- k-" [makes choking sound] DI PAOLO And his name is not- CREDICO Not a signpost. DI PAOLO Not a signpost. Not a tree or statue. And that man name's was- CREDICO I knew Moe Green was headstrong. Saying stupid things. But that wasn't right. [goes to Michael Corleone] Fredo, I know it was you. [out of Michael] Alright, so. [doing Pentageli] Hey Fredo! [clip from "The Godfather Part II" - "This is the business we've chosen."] CREDICO Alright. [doing Pentageli] AAAAAAAAH! What's-his-name would never take me. Old man Roth would never take me. Johnny Ola. He knew. Fredo, why they call him shooperman [sic]? [out of Pentageli] Alright. So. Superman. DI PAOLO Can I- CREDICO That guy had like an eighty inch cock. We know that, right? DI PAOLO Yes I know that. I auditioned for that part. CREDICO I know. DI PAOLO I was only a year old. CREDICO Yes. Hung like a hamster. Alright so. DI PAOLO I'm hung like a- like a- you know what. A- CREDICO Alright. Let me- DI PAOLO Go ahead. CREDICO Let's get back to this thing. DI PAOLO Why the cringe, fucking strong middle? CREDICO Who gives a shit, alright? We're getting back to where I- DI PAOLO The guy has a question for you! CREDICO What was the fucking question? DI PAOLO We didn't bring you on here to be fucking Red Skelton, you dink. CREDICO He was a great comic, wasn't he? DI PAOLO Let's go to Bill. Bill in Louisville has a question for Randy Credico. CREDICO Aw Jesus, everyone before- below the Mason-Dixon line is with you. DI PAOLO Go ahead, Bill. BILL IN LOUISVILLE How's it going there, Nick? DI PAOLO Pretty good. What do you want to ask Randy? BILL IN LOUISVILLE Randy you got it tough tonight, don't you? DI PAOLO Oh my god, it's like having a twelve year old on fucking coke here. BILL IN LOUISVILLE Well, I just wanted his opinion on Edward Snowden. CREDICO Why is this stuff so watered down, this stuff in here. [talking about the rum he's drinking] DI PAOLO That's a good question, you got an opinion on Edward Snowden? CREDICO Edward Snowden is a hero, and Edward Snowden is actually conservative. Edward Snowden is- DI PAOLO Why's he hiding in _Russia_, if he's a conservative? CREDICO Well, wait a second. He exposed - you being- you being- DI PAOLO I agree with what he's saying. [CREDICO: - surveilled.] I'm not disagreeing with what he did. Why's he running to Russia? CREDICO Why did he run there? Does he want to go to Guantanamo? DI PAOLO No, you go down to fucking where the old people, in Florida state. CREDICO Where's he supposed to go? Where the fuck is he supposed to go? He's actually a conservative! He's actually a conservative, that didn't like any of us- DI PAOLO I agree! I agree! CREDICO I got to give the credit- The guys that have come out and exposed the NSA- DI PAOLO Why do you run to Russia? You didn't answer my question, Mr. Credico. CREDICO -are all conservatives. Are center right. That would be William Binney and Ed Snowden. Ed Snowden's not some leftist. He's just a true American hero. DI PAOLO Why did he run to Russia? CREDICO Because if he didn't, he would be fried by the phony criminal justice system. Wanting them embarrassed, he embarrased them. They are spying on all of us. DI PAOLO I know that. CREDICO All three of us. [includes BILL IN LOUISVILLE] DI PAOLO I agree, I agree. CREDICO And so, left and right, come together on this. DI PAOLO I agree. CREDICO People left and right, that's why- DI PAOLO That's why I had you on the show tonight. That, and your fucking Nicholson impression. CREDICO Sean Hannity and I get along on this issue. Alright? Sean Hannity- DI PAOLO Sean Hannity and Rand- Sean Hannity and Randy Credico, far leftist, Kunstler protege, fucking him and Hannity, are sympatico on a lot of points here tonight. Hannity has been consistent, people make fun of him, but he's a pitbull. CREDICO Hannity's like freaked out at, everything he said is being picked up by the NSA, and stored. You know that. So, this goes through not just George H. W. Bush [sic, he probably means George W. Bush here], it goes through Obama - Obama was even worse. Obama is the worst on this, he allowed the NSA to spy on all of us. And this is- DI PAOLO That breaks your heart as a lefty. CREDICO No, he's not a lefty. DI PAOLO He was a lefty. What are you talking about? CREDICO On some issues, he may have been a lefty. But he's- DI PAOLO He's not a liberal? CREDICO These guys are not left or right. They are totalitarianists. DI PAOLO That's- That's left. CREDICO There's- No. Totalitarianism is [inaudible]. DI PAOLO Who's a right wing totalitarian? Who's the last right wing? Mussolini? CREDICO Mussolini? DI PAOLO He's a fascist. CREDICO Well, Mussolini's a dictator. He actually built five thousand miles of road. DI PAOLO I asked you a question: who's the last right wing totalitarian? CREDICO Who's the last left wing? DI PAOLO Right wing. CREDICO Right wing? Uuuuuuuh Obama. DI PAOLO [laughs] That's how far left he is. He thinks Obama is a rightie. CREDICO This is not about left or right. DI PAOLO IT IS! You say that because you're a leftie and you're in the wrong. CREDICO I'm saying Obama and George Bush and- DI PAOLO You guys are the fucking- That's true. They built the brick road. CREDICO They support all of it. And they support- DI PAOLO Does that answer your question, Bill? CREDICO Bill, you know that these guys are all the same. None of them have any ideology. For them it's all about money. DI PAOLO He makes a good point. CREDICO That- that- DI PAOLO Randy, makes a good- CREDICO Do you think that Obama was running this fucking country? The guy was worth two hundred grand. They're not going to let some motherfucker with two hundred grand in the bank run this fucking nation. It's run by rich people, super-rich people, and by- DI PAOLO The Rockefellers! CREDICO The Rocke-who? It's not just- DI PAOLO The Council on Foreign Relations. CREDICO Yes, those are bad motherfuckers. The Council on Foreign Relations. DI PAOLO See that? The Bilderburg Group. Read that book. CREDICO And- and- as is- DI PAOLO Alright, Bill. You got him focused for a second. Thank you for that. CREDICO -the Trilateral Commission. BILL IN LOUISVILLE Have a good one. DI PAOLO Alright. Trilateral Commission. Which is founded by Mika Brzezinski's father! CREDICO Yeah, he was the biggest piece of shit in the history- DI PAOLO Do you believe I knew that? [sic - Can you believe I knew that?] Are you impressed? CREDICO I do- [does Zbignew Brzezisnki, I guess - it's just a low key Bernie Sanders] I don't do his voice very well. Remember when he talked about- DI PAOLO Do his daughter. CREDICO Huge...Joe does. DI PAOLO You see... CREDICO Everybody knows that Joe does the daughter. [though Credico speaks of this as under the table gossip, their relationship had been out in the open for months, and the subject of a magazine cover story] DI PAOLO Joe with those hillbilly eyes. Those Deliverance fucking eyes. CREDICO Worst fucking wig I've ever seen. DI PAOLO He's got a wig on? CREDICO I thought he had a hair hat. Whatever the fuck it is. DI PAOLO [hissing laugh] I thought he had a- he's got those hillbilly eyes. CREDICO Certainly if I could get a rug that nice, I'd get rid of the hair transplants. DI PAOLO What do you think of Rachel Maddow? Some nights I stare at her, I go, she's kinda cute. Am I fucking losing my mind? CREDICO I don't know, but- DI PAOLO Maybe I want to bang a young boy from fucking Ecuador. [does a high pitched, very annoying cry] CREDICO I don't know... DI PAOLO This is the best show on radio, ever. You guys can go fuck yourselves. Randy, your thoughts? CREDICO My thoughts, it's a great radio show, and you...take a lot of fucking freedom here. And definitely this is going to come back to haunt me. Alright? DI PAOLO You? CREDICO You? DI PAOLO I painted myself- CREDICO You're going to get fucked by the John Birch Society for hanging out with me. And then there are people that are going to say "Credico, you're on- and you said this, and you talked about Rachel Maddow-" Rachel Maddow is the biggest _whore_ on- DI PAOLO Oh! CREDICO I'm talking- DI PAOLO Don't say that. CREDICO I'm saying they're a whore for the- DI PAOLO Nice set of balls on her. CREDICO For the...uuuummmmm Deep State. Whatever you want to call it. DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO She is so into it, she comes out and she panders- DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO And she panders to her- And she spoon feeds her following, and she does a ten minute monologue- DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO That she reads... DI PAOLO Yes. CREDICO And she is totally- DI PAOLO Does she write that monologue? Or does she have writers? CREDICO She reads it, but she's totally in control, by the so-called Deep State. DI PAOLO NBC. CREDICO She is totally- Which is controlled by guess who. Comcast. DI PAOLO That's right. CREDICO Which gets all the money from Boeing. DI PAOLO That's right. CREDICO So...she is a mouthpiece for Boeing. DI PAOLO Follow the money. CREDICO Just follow the money. And there's a show called "Lock Up". Let me talk about "Lock Up". DI PAOLO Oh my god, that's my favorite show! CREDICO It's the most racist fucking show. DI PAOLO Randy...it is the most- [inaudible] CREDICO THAT'S WHAT PAYS HER SALARY! THAT'S WHAT PAYS HER FUCKING SALARY! DI PAOLO It makes white people look bad! "Lock Up". They'll focus on the two white guys in prison. CREDICO Let me tell you something- DI PAOLO Then they'll show the eight black guys teaching bible class. CREDICO It's the most racist- DI PAOLO HOW TO MAKE FUCKING POTTERY. AW, KISS MY GRITS. CREDICO It's the worst show, and you know what? DI PAOLO I love that show. CREDICO Howard Fineman- Well, of course you would. DI PAOLO It's like Skype- It's like Skype for Black families. CREDICO You're like Crassus in Spartacus. You like a good fucking- DI PAOLO It's like Skype for Black families. CREDICO With the- With the- With the- DI PAOLO Even Black people laugh at that, when I say it on-stage. CREDICO No, let me tell you something- DI PAOLO He doesn't even know what Skype is. I'm right over Randy's- CREDICO She makes- DI PAOLO Right over his fishing hat. CREDICO She is supposedly a progressive, and- DI PAOLO She went to Oxford, for Christ's sake. CREDICO Yes. Alright. And she didn't even know how to say the name of uh the judge, that was involved in the uuuuh Dred Scott decision. Alright? Judge _Caney_ she said. I remember this. It was not Judge _Caney_ [it's Roger Taney]. DI PAOLO It was Judge Roy Moore. CREDICO Yes. She didn't- She didn't know how to pronounce it. But I gotta tell you something, she is totally a mouthpiece for the power structure right now. She has no lattitude, at all, and so she's going to spend all of her time attacking, and using this bogus Russia-gate narrative, like she did the other day. The dossier. The dossier is a bunch of shit. I- You know, I'm not a Trump fan, but this whole dossier thing is a bunch of shit, and so- DI PAOLO Can I talk about that for a second? Because I actually had an article on it. CREDICO Go ahead, I'm tired of talking for a while. DI PAOLO Well, the Department of Justice- CREDICO Is there something that's not watered down here with that bottle you have to the left? [pause] I guess I shouldn't have mixed it with milk. [Credico sounds very, very drunk at this point] DI PAOLO [laughs] Should have seen him back in the nineties when he was doing blow. Mother of god. Let's talk about- CREDICO Alright, do you want me to leave? DI PAOLO No. No, I don't want you to leave. For chri- You leave, I'm gonna leave with you. Here's the thing- CREDICO You only have forty five minutes. This has been a very quick hour and fifteen minutes. DI PAOLO I know. CREDICO But we agree, she is- DI PAOLO For you. CREDICO She is a horrible human being- DI PAOLO Who? CREDICO And a liar. DI PAOLO Who are you talking about? CREDICO Rachel Maddow. DI PAOLO Yeah, but she's a good strong safety. CREDICO Actually- DI PAOLO She leads the league in tackles, an eight inch neck and a strong- CREDICO Philadelphia Eagles need a quarterback- Have a safety right now- DI PAOLO I know. Let's talk about the dossier though. How about the wife of this DOJ official, you've heard this guy, this guy Bruce Orr. His wife worked for GPS Fusion. The fucking people that put the dossier together. CREDICO Really. DI PAOLO Yes! CREDICO The- the dossier is a bunch of shit. DI PAOLO Is it a witch hunt, Randy? CREDICO Yes. I'm not a- DI PAOLO Thank you. Thank you. CREDICO -Trump fan- DI PAOLO Are you listening, Deena Bediah? Adella? CREDICO I'm not a Trump fan- Not a Trump fan- DI PAOLO Pete Domenic, are you listening? CREDICO If you want to go after Trump- DI PAOLO This is a far-left guy. CREDICO If you want to go after Trump, find legitimate reason, [sounds like he's taking big inhales, like he's about to sneeze or vomit] for me, to go after him. But don't use Russia-gate- DI PAOLO Don't throw up on that scarf. Go ahead. CREDICO Do not use Russia-gate. It's an illegitimate reason, and the Democratic uuuuuh leadership is running out of gas. That should be good for you. Because there's nothing to this dossier. The dossier is- DI PAOLO This is a left-winger saying this, folks. CREDICO No! The dossier's a bunch of shit. Stop using it. The Democrats want to go after them- DI PAOLO What would you go after them on? CREDICO What they should do is say that we have a better jobs program than Trump does. We have a better way for people in- in- in- in Michigan- DI PAOLO You really don't. CREDICO And Wisconsin- DI PAOLO But you really don't. CREDICO They don't. DI PAOLO No, they don't. CREDICO Don't go after him on this. I wanna hear some solutions. DI PAOLO The better jobs program bullshit- CREDICO I wanna hear some solutions. DI PAOLO Trickle down economics. CREDICO I wanna hear some solutions. DI PAOLO That's your solution. Trickle down economics. CREDICO I wanna hear some solutions [DI PAOLO burps] by the Democratic Party. Instead of...allegations, and the Trump allegations of Russia-gate, are a complete fantasy, and they're wasting the public's money and time on that. DI PAOLO Let's go to Ted in New York. Go, he has a question. FBI taking over the media, and he has some- CREDICO That's not Ted Bergeron, is it? DI PAOLO No no [laughs]. This is Ted Kennedy's ghost. Ted? CREDICO [does Ted Kennedy] And I would like to say this. DI PAOLO Say hello. CREDICO [doing Kennedy] Hehehehehe- [stops] Where'd he get that falsetto? DI PAOLO Go ahead, Ted. TED IN NEW YORK How we doing tonight? DI PAOLO It's obvious. I'm talking to you. I'm trying to babysit this maniac. CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO Ted. CREDICO I'm gonna leave in about five minutes. DI PAOLO No, you're not. CREDICO So get your question out now. TED IN NEW YORK It's a difficult situation. DI PAOLO [laughs] Exactly. CREDICO Can you imagine having to hang out with me for two hours? DI PAOLO Listen. Go ahead, Ted. TED IN NEW YORK I'd love to, Nick. You're great, really. I listen to you every night. DI PAOLO Thank you. TED IN NEW YORK Back in the sixties, they did Operation Mockingbird, I believe it was called. CREDICO Yes! That's it. TED IN NEW YORK Took over the media. CREDICO It exists right now at MSNBC. TED IN NEW YORK Yeah. And you're right about the Department of Foreign Relations. I mean, they take over the whole media- CREDICO Why don't you talk about Operation Mockingbird? About the CIA takeover of the media? Go ahead. That's something that Nick needs to hear about. DI PAOLO I- No I read a little bit about it. CREDICO No, go ahead. Because I don't want to have to talk a lot. DI PAOLO Go ahead. TED IN NEW YORK Okay. Well. I was just touching on it, I mean, it's a real thing. People look it up, Operation Mockingbird, in the sixties, I believe the FBI took control of the media, to, you know, spin- CREDICO CIA, CIA did. TED IN NEW YORK CIA, I'm sorry. DI PAOLO Okay. TED IN NEW YORK But yeah, yeah. They just took over, and- CREDICO They pay people like David Corn and they pay people like Chris Hayes- DI PAOLO David Corn? What are you talking about?! CREDICO Rachel Maddow- [though Credico's libel should not need to be addressed - Corn was co-author of a scathing book on the false info that led to the Iraq war, "Hubris" as well we making his bones reporting the Iran-Contra crisis, while Maddow's book "Drift" is a critical and incredibly well researched analysis of the excessive size of the U.S. military; Hayes is a constant critic of the U.S. military, and his "Twilight of the Elites" is an unblinking look at the problems of economic inequality which gives a sound analysis of our era of crisis, and presciently anticipates our current moment of crisis. The achievements of all three in pushing back against the horrors of our age dwarf anything that Credico has every done.] DI PAOLO They weren't even alive in the sixties- CREDICO I'm saying now- They had people like that back then. Right now, the CIA pays the Washington Post six hundred million dollars as if Jeff Bezos needs it [this is a reference to the CIA's payments to Amazon for use of its cloud space; the CIA does not pay the Washington Post]. TED IN NEW YORK Yeah. Yeah. [hesitant - he's in agreement, but as if he's realizing that Credico is just a buttonholing drunk] CREDICO You're right. Journalists- I understand they want to go, have a good time in D.C., at these nice restaurants- DI PAOLO So why does Obama and everybody's making fun of him- CREDICO He's- He's a piece of shit too. DI PAOLO HOLD ON, LET ME ASK MY QUESTION. Why the fuck is Fox News a joke? On the left? We all know the corruptness comes from the fucking left. Not the right. TED IN NEW YORK [inaudible] gonna hang up- CREDICO Well, whatever you feel about Fox News, I can tell you that- [inaudible] No no don't go! [both TED IN NEW YORK and DI PAOLO say inaudible things in the cross talk] DI PAOLO Teddy, he doesn't want you to go. He loves you. CREDICO Alright, Ted. Listen, we're talking about MSNBC and CNN- DI PAOLO [laughs] He's gone! CREDICO -are both getting money from the CIA. They're both corrupt. DI PAOLO Two left wing networks. CREDICO They're not left wing! Man, they're- DI PAOLO You just say that because they're corporate owned. CREDICO They're- They are corporate owned. DI PAOLO That doesn't make them right wing. CREDICO Well, you think that Wolf Blitzer, is like Vladimir Lenin or something?! DI PAOLO The message is left wing. They're- What does- RANDY. What is your definition of left wing? [said at the same as CREDICO's previous line] What is your definition of a left winger? CREDICO What- DI PAOLO Give me a fucking- CREDICO Do you think that Lenin was- DI PAOLO GIVE ME A DEFINITION- CREDICO You going to tell me that he gets- He used to be on- He was an Israeli...Mossad. DI PAOLO Who was? CREDICO Mossad. [so drunk he can barely say it] Wolf Blitzer. [where he gets that Wolf Blitzer is a former Mossad agent, I have no idea] Wolf Blitzer got his fucking- He was an AIPAC spokesperson. DI PAOLO For the Mossad?! [genuinely incredulous] CREDICO Yes, he was an Israeli spokesperson. DI PAOLO So what? CREDICO So don't tell me he's a left winger. DI PAOLO What is your definition- Give me your definition, of somebody in the media that's a left-winger. [pause] According to you, they don't exist. CREDICO They don't exist. DI PAOLO You say that because you're a left-winger. CREDICO What- How- What is your definition of a left-winger? DI PAOLO Uuuuuuuh fucking uuuuuuuuh- Michelle Obama. CREDICO What does the left wing mean? [pause] Obama... DI PAOLO Somebody- CREDICO -was a corporate whore- DI PAOLO You asked me a question. CREDICO He was a Wall Street whore. DI PAOLO Bill uh- Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sander is a left winger. He's a left winger. CREDICO [like a monster in a horror movie sequel, the Sanders impression returns] Bernie Sanders. He's a guy who was good on some kind of issues. I will agree with him. And I agree with him on a lot of his domestic policies. DI PAOLO Elizabeth Warren is a leftie. CREDICO She is Ruth Buzzi, alright? [I don't get the reference] DI PAOLO See? Every time I make a good point, he slips into a character. CREDICO I would say that she looks like Ruth Buzzi. DI PAOLO Is Sanders a left winger? CREDICO He's a left winger on foreign- on domestic policy, not on foreign policy. Because- DI PAOLO What is he on foreign- He doesn't- CREDICO He doesn't, no. We support Saudi Arabia. DI PAOLO Do you agree with- CREDICO I know you're a big fan of Saudi Arabia. And you support- DI PAOLO Nono- Just their driving rules. Go ahead. CREDICO You support- DI PAOLO I saw my wife try to parallel park the other night, I would have fucking stoned her to death myself. CREDICO I would rather drive with Andi, than with you. [pause] Alright? [pause] Yes. [DI PAOLO: I drove-] She's a very sharp person. DI PAOLO I know. CREDICO She is very sharp. DI PAOLO Tell me about it. CREDICO Alright? I never hit on her, but if I were [DI PAOLO: Yeah, you did!] to hit on a woman, it would be her. Huh? DI PAOLO You did. But I like you so much, I took it as a compliment. CREDICO It would be like...let me tell you something... DI PAOLO I got a guy here, who Assange knows, who hit on my wife. How small a world is this, folks? CREDICO No...you look at her, and you turn to stone. Alright? That's how- that's how- DI PAOLO You notice- You notice [inaudible] that I make better? I'm like fucking Gretzky. Anyone notice that, me and Bennington- [Ron Bennington, comedian with shows on SiriusXM] CREDICO You're more like- Svengali. DI PAOLO Okay. Svengali. CREDICO Or you're more like- DI PAOLO If you want to bring up the Irish. CREDICO He wasn't- Oh my god. You like getting my guard, you're going into Archie Bunker mode. DI PAOLO Oh, I'll give you some Archie Bunker. CREDICO You want some Archie Bunker? [does maybe Archie Bunker; sounds like an eccentric senator who's really high giving a filibuster speech] Hold itHold itHold itHold it...Weird chichi medium. We insist! We insist...on... DI PAOLO What are you talking about? CREDICO There was something that he said that was really funny. [long pause] That... DI PAOLO Yeah. Could you bring it up now? CREDICO Yes. Oh, you couldn't come up with it? DI PAOLO I can't find it. CREDICO [some incoherent noise] He did something with Sammy Davis Jr. I _knew_ Sammy Davis Jr. [does Davis] Sammy said, "You know what? Your impressions are-" DI PAOLO Did you watch "The Sopranos"? CREDICO Yeah, I was very good friends with Steve Schirripa. Is he still alive? DI PAOLO I knew Schirripa too. "Is he still alive?"! CREDICO I knew him in '75. DI PAOLO You make it sound like he's eighty one years old. He's not Buddy fucking Ebsen. [actor who played the old father in "The Beverly Hillbillies"] CREDICO We did a lot of cocaine together- DI PAOLO [laughing hard] Is he still alive! CREDICO Alright, so, let me tell ya about Schirripa. DI PAOLO Go on. CREDICO He introduced me to: guess who. DI PAOLO Dominic Chianese. [inaudible] Junior. [Chianese played Junior Soprano] CREDICO No, he inroduced me to the guy- DI PAOLO Barbara Streisand. CREDICO -who Joe Pesci played in "Casino". DI PAOLO [genuinely impressed] You're kidding me. [CREDICO: This-] Nicky Santoro? CREDICO [incoherent noise] No, his name was uh- I can't think of the name- DI PAOLO Nicky Santoro! CREDICO No no, it was- DI PAOLO It was the guy- CREDICO No no, the real guy- DI PAOLO Oh, the real guy. In the meantime, can I play- CREDICO It was Frank Rosenthal, was the guy that- that...that uh...whats-his-name played. Robert De Niro. The other guy, that Pesci played, was a mob guy- DI PAOLO From Chicago. CREDICO Yes. Chicago, they got hit in the cornfield. DI PAOLO Yup. CREDICO Well, you know, Steve Schirripa says, "He'd like to manage you." Alright? [DI PAOLO's hissing balloon laugh] He was- DI PAOLO He wanted- The real guy wanted to manage you? CREDICO The real guy wanted to manage me. FIORI Spilotro. CREDICO Tony Spilotro. [the reason why the name is different from the character in the movie, though the movie is based on a non-fiction book featuring characters with their real names, is for legal reasons] DI PAOLO There you go. CREDICO Alright, so Spilotro- DI PAOLO WHY DID HE WANT TO MANAGE YOU? CREDICO I was twenty two years old... DI PAOLO We got two minutes before a break. Go ahead. CREDICO He was working at the Hacienda Hotel, his wife- his girlfriend was. This is my good friend uuuuuuh Steve Schirripa. DI PAOLO Yeah. CREDICO He was twenty two, twenty three years old. DI PAOLO I love Schirripa. CREDICO His girlfriend, right at the time, at the Hacienda. She died. She died- DI PAOLO Very mysteriously. In a puddle. Behind the MGM Grand. CREDICO No, don't say that. [DI PAOLO is laughing] No, he was very much in love with her. It was his junior high school sweetheart. Alright? And- DI PAOLO Schirripa's? CREDICO Melissa. Melissa was her name. She was a blackjack dealer, at the Tropica- At the Hacienda- DI PAOLO And it was Schirripa's girlfriend? CREDICO Yes. She died. DI PAOLO I didn't know that. CREDICO And- and- [DI PAOLO: Sorry.] Schirripa and I was very close [sic], he was working at Paul Anka's place, [inaudible] and it was called The Brewery. DI PAOLO And The Riviera. CREDICO And The Riviera. But _much_ later. In '86, '87. We're talking '75 when I first met him. DI PAOLO I didn't know you were that old. Go ahead, Randy. CREDICO I was twenty years old- DI PAOLO Stupid fisherman hat. CREDICO [pause] This is a Che hat. [hat like Che Guevera wore] Do you want to hear a great story about...or do you want to go to a break? DI PAOLO Could you keep it under a fucking hour?! CREDICO Yes. No no- Go ahead. DI PAOLO [genuinely upset] JESUS CHRIST. You demented motherfucker. CREDICO [pause] Well, my close friend Steve- DI PAOLO When we come back, Steve Schirripa, who played Bobby Baccalieri on "The Sopranos", that's why I brought this up. Randy's gonna finish his story - under a half hour, so... CREDICO I'm not even gonna talk about it anymore. DI PAOLO Aw, you're gonna be a little baby? [pause] You sound like a left-wing- CREDICO You want to talk- DI PAOLO You sound like a left-wing _fag_. CREDICO He was a very close- I'm gonna... DI PAOLO [hissing laugh] There is no- There is no- CREDICO I'm not a left winger. I'm just a fag. Alright. DI PAOLO Let's take a break. CREDICO You're such a gay baiter. DI PAOLO [hiss] Let's take a break. You're the one hanging out with Roger Stone. I'm not a gay baiter. CREDICO You think Roger's gay? DI PAOLO No, I don't. I saw him in that parade without a shirt, he looks like a fucking rugged individual. CREDICO [no energy] Yes. A lot of young men would like him. DI PAOLO Let's take a break. CREDICO [half assed Nixon impression] He's got the Nixon tattoo. DI PAOLO And Randy's gonna tell us- CREDICO I'm in so much trouble tonight. DI PAOLO -about Bobby Baccalieri on "The Sopranos", who's Steve Schirripa, who I love, by the way. CREDICO A very close friend, for forty years. DI PAOLO [taken aback] That long you've known Steve! CREDICO Like, 1975. DI PAOLO He was a kid! He's a nice guy. Great guy. Let's take a break, we'll come back, talk "Sopranos", talk anything Randy wants to talk about. Before he passes away, in about a month. [break] CREDICO This is it? DI PAOLO Final segment. CREDICO I'm gonna spend a lot of time talking about what the fuck happened to me at WBAI. I love this. DI PAOLO That was "Hell to-" Okay. We'll get to that in one second. Let me just find- CREDICO Because I'd like to come to Sirius radio. I love this. [clip plays from "Helter Skelter", TV movie about Charles Manson - we hear the line from Manson, "I told you I'm already dead."] CREDICO Who is that? DI PAOLO That's you talking about your career. [hissing laugh] CREDICO Aw, you like that. You look like uuuuuuh uuuuuh Spanky from the fucking "Little Rascals" doing that, alright? [DI PAOLO laughs some more] Seriously. Or maybe Alfalfa. DI PAOLO Randy had a radio show at WBAI- CREDICO And the most popular show. I had sixty five percent of all internet traffic was mine [65% of the WBAI web site's traffic was for his show]. DI PAOLO Oh - so it wasn't a radio show, it was an internet show. CREDICO No no, it was a radio show, but nobody listens to it, alright, because ninety percent- DI PAOLO It was terrestrial radio? Terrestrial radio. CREDICO It's a local radio station, at a very good location. Ninety nine point five- DI PAOLO Where? Fred Dicker's basement? Where was it? CREDICO [seems genuinely hurt] No! [pause] I'm talking- Let me- You're not going to let me talk about it. Because I've been here for a long time, I've tolerated all your bullshit [DI PAOLO's hissing laugh again]. Alright? And watered down fucking rum. Alright? DI PAOLO But you're drinking it out of the bottle. CREDICO I'm not. I'm drinking milk here. Alright? DI PAOLO Why did you get fired from W-A-B-...WBAI? CREDICO I didn't get- Here's what happened- DI PAOLO It's a left wing station, and they still don't like you. CREDICO It's a left-wing station- Sixty five percent of- DI PAOLO Was it the Greek fisherman's hat? CREDICO It's because I exposed corruption. [pause] At the top. You talk about sexism. And uuuuh and fucking around with women. The two guys that are there right now- DI PAOLO Lefties. CREDICO They're not lefties. They are corrupt motherfuckers- DI PAOLO It's money. CREDICO One of them is by the name of Berthold Reimers. And the other one is Tony- who got fired from any job he ever got from- DI PAOLO Tony, as an Italian fella? CREDICO No. Tony Bates. It's not his real name. [DI PAOLO is laughing] But Tony Bates. You know, he's a guy who was fired from WBAI, 2011, and he got- DI PAOLO And when did you get canned? CREDICO And so, I had the most popular station [sic]. He comes in, they don't even hire him, because the local station board would not confirm him, as their program director. So they- The general manager, who's involved in all sorts of- You know what the general manager at the station does? He's got one of these NYCHA [NYC Housing Authority] homes? He actually rents out- DI PAOLO What homes? CREDICO NYCHA. DI PAOLO What is that? CREDICO New York City Housing Authority- DI PAOLO Oh, it's De Blasio- CREDICO It's a subsidized thing. He actually- The guy makes a hundred grand a year, he's renting out one his rooms, he's getting subsidized by the city- DI PAOLO By the city, and then he rents the room out. CREDICO By the city, and then he rents the room out. DI PAOLO Didn't De Blasio try to do that? Remember he moved out of his triple decker- CREDICO No, but this is the general manager- DI PAOLO What you're finding out is that leftists are the most greedy people- CREDICO He's not a leftist. He's not a leftist. I'm just telling you, he's a corrupt guy- DI PAOLO I guess [inaudible] leftist [inaudible]. Go ahead. CREDICO I'm just saying, he's the guy running the station. And I exposed him. DI PAOLO And you ratted him out. CREDICO I ratted him out. DI PAOLO Well, of course you're gonna get fired for that. CREDICO I got- And then we have the- And then he tried to fuck any one that moves there. [pause] Alright? Including Julianna Forlano [WBAI radio host]. He was- Julianna Forlano. I'm not supposed to say her name. But he was moving on her, and you know that. DI PAOLO Could you spell that please? Could you use it in a sentence? CREDICO She's an Italian woman with a child. DI PAOLO Could you use it in a sentence? "My boss tried to fuck Julianna Forlano." CREDICO She's a woman with a child. And married. And this fucking asshole- So I exposed that, and then suddenly I get fired. Why did I get fired? Because he said I was collaborating with the greatest, most celebrated journalist in the world, John Pilger. Won two hundred and seventy five awards, to try to- DI PAOLO Nobody's ever heard of him. CREDICO [pause] Well, look him up. DI PAOLO I did. CREDICO Look up John Pilger. DI PAOLO I did. CREDICO Look up John Pilger, alright? DI PAOLO He won the "Daily Show" award- CREDICO Yeah, he's eighty years old. He's made seventy films. This is not something I'm fucking around with. But they got rid of me, because I exposed the corruption at the station. All of the engineers there hate- _hate_... DI PAOLO But does that surprise you? You expose your boss? [CREDICO: They're not-] And you get kicked out? CREDICO Uh, well, yes. It doesn't- It does surprise me. DI PAOLO Why? CREDICO Because I- I- I exposed them to the National Director- They are still there, and everyone was supposed to come to my side, when I went out and exposed them. DI PAOLO Your side has no morals. Has no values. CREDICO Nonono. They were supposed to be there for- DI PAOLO They weren't there for you. CREDICO But...you know what? It's like- DI PAOLO Cuz...they're- CREDICO Why? They wanted their little bit of fame. They wanted their little five minutes of fame. And having a radio show at a station that no one listens to. They should've been there for me. When I came out and I exposed them- DI PAOLO How long were you at that station? CREDICO A year and a half, I had sixty five percent of all internet traffic [traffic for the station's web site], was my show. And I- You see the people I had on the show? Can you show that? DI PAOLO Yeah, we're trying to find out who the leaker is. It's between- We have it down between- CREDICO I had- And the guys hated the fact that I exposed them. DI PAOLO It's between Steve Schirripa- CREDICO You have any like, latkes here? DI PAOLO It's between- [laughs] Latkes? CREDICO Yes. I need something to eat right now. DI PAOLO This is- This is a- [balloon hissing] CREDICO Sorry- Let me ask you a question. When you eat rigatoni, do you not just have it with olive oil, garlic, red pepper... DI PAOLO Sometimes. CREDICO That's the only way I have- DI PAOLO Randy- Randy- You just reminded me. You made me- Do you remember when I lived on Doheny in L.A.? And Ralph's was across the street? CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO You showed up at my door, with one of those roast chickens? You used to laugh about how much grease- He was like- He was a health nut- He talks like- CREDICO You could actually fill up a diesel truck, with the shit that came out of those chickens, at Ralph's. DI PAOLO He would de-tox for like a week, would not eat anything, and then show up with a Ralph's roasted chicken. And he would ring the grease out in my sink, and he would belly laugh, until he almost fainted. CREDICO Who was the guy- Adam Leslie smoked one of those motherfuckers out...of Ralph's. Right? And he had a permanent stain- DI PAOLO Adam Leslie [inaudible] drug addict. CREDICO -and he had a permanent stain, as if he was branded as a slave. By carrying one of those chickens out, in between his jeans and his stomach, he brought one out, and he had a permanent scar, and he actually was working, picking cotton, in Sonoma county. DI PAOLO [inaudible] CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO I confuse him with Mitch Walter. CREDICO They look the same. [inaudible] into blow [inaudible] DI PAOLO Which one did Reynolds [presumably, Mike Reynolds] know well? Mitch Walter or- CREDICO Anyone that had some blow. DI PAOLO One of them slept- Which one's dead? [CREDICO: I gotta taste-] Are they both dead? CREDICO Who knows. I think Mitchell's still alive. DI PAOLO Okay, then Adam Leslie is- CREDICO -still trying to get a spot at The Comedy Store. DI PAOLO One of them used to sleep on Reynolds's- CREDICO I gotta say a shout out to my friends at WBAI- DI PAOLO It's like I'm not even here. [probably a reference to FIORI and PALUMBO being indifferent to what's going on] CREDICO Well, they got their- They know that we went off on a tangent here. DI PAOLO Yeah, _we_ did. CREDICO My friends Reggie and- DI PAOLO I went off on a tangent of a story about what happened to you ten years ago. [laughs] CREDICO That I know- These assholes at the station [DI PAOLO: Yes.] sooner or later, they will be gone, they got rid of me, even though I had sixty five percent, because I had the goods on them. DI PAOLO Do you know that's why I have you on tonight? But this is what I love about you, seriously. Lotta lefties, you know, yap the yap, but I ran into you fifteen years ago now- CREDICO At a chicken dinner. DI PAOLO [laughs] No. Maybe two- You were handing out Rockefeller fliers, on the street. On the Upper East Side, or something. CREDICO I'm a passionate motherfucker. DI PAOLO No, but you believe- CREDICO My father did ten years in prison, he was Italian. DI PAOLO You walk the walk, though. You don't just talk it. CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO That's why I'm a fucking fan. CREDICO But I- I am against- Prison is not the place to put people, it's a waste of time... DI PAOLO It's because your dad did ten years. That's why you- If your sister- CREDICO If your dad did ten years- DI PAOLO If my dad raped somebody, I'd fucking hope he did ten years. CREDICO My father was a safecracker. DI PAOLO He was a safecrack- Aw- Did he do SingSing? CREDICO Did you ever see the movie, ummmm, the movie- DI PAOLO [laughing] "Jaws"? CREDICO No no...aw c'mon, the movie with Tim Robbins and uh- DI PAOLO Yes! FIORI "Shawshank". DI PAOLO Aw no! CREDICO That was the supposed place- DI PAOLO Up in Maine? Up in Maine? CREDICO But they shot it at Mansfield, Ohio prison. DI PAOLO Yes. I love that prison movie, where there was one Black prisoner. CREDICO My father did ten years in prison. DI PAOLO In Ohio? CREDICO In that prison there. They shot it at my father- My father did ten years in that prison. DI PAOLO In Ohio, but it was "Shawshank", the movie. They shot it in Ohio. CREDICO They shot it at my father's prison. DI PAOLO Your dad was cracking safes? What is this, 1911? CREDICO 1931. DI PAOLO [genuinely taken aback] Holy shit! CREDICO Before I was born. He was eighteen years old. He was a- immaculate dresser- DI PAOLO 866- CREDICO -and during the Depression, he did- crack safes, and he did ten years in a prison, that was showcased in that movie, "Shawshank Redemption". So, Morgan Freeman did digital fucking time, my father did real time, in that prison. DI PAOLO Where Morgan Freeman was the only Black prisoner. CREDICO Okay? In that dank fucking prison, that's the reason why I'm so passionate about prisons. DI PAOLO There ya go. 866- I'm glad he didn't do time in a fucking Burger King. Or we'd have those torn down. Made no sense. 866-969-1969. CREDICO You eat a lot of Burger King? Or do you like McDonald's? I know, because Trump likes- Trump likes- DI PAOLO [laughs] This is the guy that Julian Assange hangs out with. CREDICO Yeah, he likes- DI PAOLO He loves you, Assange. Why would he trust you so implicitly? He doesn't even know you. CREDICO Yes, because he knows I don't know a motherfucking thing about technology. Seriously. DI PAOLO No, why- CREDICO I don't even know how to put a thumb drive- I don't even know how to put a thumb drive in, and take shit off of my computer. Somebody says - "Why don't you clear off all this shit off your computer?" I say, "How do I do that?" This is just the other day. You take a thumb drive- DI PAOLO I know. CREDICO I know nothing about it! DI PAOLO My buddy was a bookie. CREDICO I don't know! DI PAOLO In Malden, Mass. He knew how to do it. And this is back in the fucking early nineties, you know. But why would Assange- CREDICO Were you friends with Whitey Bulger? DI PAOLO Noooo! Christ. CREDICO A lot of people say that you were his connection to the FBI. DI PAOLO He's Irish. He'd kill me in a second. CREDICO Alright. You're from Northtown. DI PAOLO [laughs] What? The North end of things? I grew up in a suburb. CREDICO You worked a lot at Nick's, right? DI PAOLO I grew up in the suburbs, I looked like a ginza loan. I wouldn't last eight minutes- CREDICO [inaudible] you're definitely a Nick's comic. DI PAOLO Colin Quinn said- CREDICO You're such a Nick's comic. DI PAOLO Well, Davey kicked me out of Nick's. That gives you an idea how my act- CREDICO Too far to the left. DI PAOLO No! No. There was a- There was a gay group there one night. I didn't know. This is like the late eighties. When AIDS was peaking. And somebody was heckling me, and I say- I yelled something out there that was very derogatory, and uh, the manager at Nick's is- this is- you know- this is- CREDICO Dominic. DI PAOLO Dominic. It was actually his boss. CREDICO Dominic cokehead. DI PAOLO It was one of the owners, I think, Sonny. CREDICO Oh, that Sonny. DI PAOLO They go, "What happened to this kid? He started here, went out to L.A. for a year, came back very fucking angry." This is coming from a fucking mobster. CREDICO [inaudible] definitely mobbed up. Definitely mobbed up. DI PAOLO He goes..."I came back from L.A.!" Very angry. CREDICO The other guy was Jackie Gateman. DI PAOLO YES! [CREDICO: Jackie Gateman...] How the hell would you know that? CREDICO Well, because he hustled me for three hundred dollars in pool. Before I even worked at night, so I had to give him the coke that was given free. To Jackie, he gave me the three hundred I made for two shows- DI PAOLO Should we be opening that? He's probably still alive. I don't want to get a- CREDICO I don't think so. DI PAOLO I don't want to get a slug in my left ear on the way home. CREDICO Do you ever... DI PAOLO I love Gateman. Jackie would- Jackie, all the customers- CREDICO He had the ugliest face I've ever seen in my life. DI PAOLO Well, Steve- CREDICO There's no way, you could paint a face that had- He had- What was par for his face? [DI PAOLO laughs] He had more fucking holes- Like an eighteen hole fucking golf course. DI PAOLO It would come in, Fiori, he would come into Nick's on a Friday night, this is in the eighties, when comedy was booming. Nowhere was it booming more than Boston. Nick's was- It could hold three hundred and fifty people, I'd say. And they would do four, five shows a night. Packed. Every one of them. Line around the block. You'd think Elvis was in town. And- and Gateman would come in, at like fucking the last show... This is the guy who, you know, has a mansion and a haunt, [CREDICO: Yes.] he would come in, sit there, he's got a raincoat on, rain's dripping, and _count the heads_. He'd watch them go in. CREDICO Jackie Gateman. DI PAOLO Do you know how old- how insecure you have to be in your sixties, and your zillionaire, and you're counting the fucking heads. And then Sweeney, him and Sweeney [this must be Steve Sweeney, previously mentioned] get into it one night. One of them won. Because Sweeney owed him money, oh my god. It fucking- I'm a young comic, I'm sitting there- Nobody else was around, like, I'm getting all fucking redfaced- What a- What a joint, huh? Nick's? CREDICO Oh...we used to call it Nix - do not work there, N I X. [Di Paolo laughs] And there was a place next door called Joker's, that uuuuuuh- DI PAOLO Joker's? No. CREDICO There was a place across the street. DI PAOLO No there wasn't. CREDICO Alright. And there was the... DI PAOLO There wasn't. There was Comedy Connection, down in the strip. CREDICO Comedy Connection. Michael Clark is still- DI PAOLO Let's talk about you and the "Tonight Show" and- and- and why you did a Jeanne Kirkpatrick impression they told you not to do. Or was it Johnny Carson that got you kicked off? CREDICO I did Johnny Carson... DI PAOLO What's your question? CREDICO ...in 1984. DI PAOLO I know. CREDICO [does Carson] I did the Johnny Carson show in 1984. DI PAOLO And they told you not to- CREDICO No. Actually, McCullough said, "Do it." McCullough, Jim McCullough, may he rest in peace, he caught me at Catch A Rising Star in 1984, early- DI PAOLO In New York? CREDICO January or February- DI PAOLO [said like this: answer a simple question, you fucking...] In New York? CREDICO Then in February, he came in to see forty comedians, including your good friend Chance Langton [said in a way that implies they're the opposite of good friends]. Right? So, I was the last- DI PAOLO In New York City, though- CREDICO Yes! I was the last one to audition. DI PAOLO Yep. CREDICO For him. Out of forty. I was the last one. I was the only one he came up with, "You're the only one talking about this election." That was the '84 election. [does Reagan] "With Reagan. Yes, I would say this: you take a look at this country, and uh, well, as Sam Adams said this, and you go off on these tangents, about well, Sam Adams was a great man, when he said in 177- 1805, when he was at the Gettysburg- and uh- he came up and he said, 'Give me liberty or give me uh uh a cock. Whatever it was, I went on," [this bit gets the silence of an abandonned school during a war] and I did this routine, and they all loved it, and then I made some kind of remark, about...and Carson was like, you could see him rolling. And then I later heard that Fred De Cordova, who was the producer, said at that point, this guy is coming right- He did one of these things, he's coming right back on. He said it to McCullough. And then I drifted into...[DI PAOLO laughs] DI PAOLO _You_ drifted off? CREDICO A suicide. I decided to take- I don't like success. So, I- I went into a suicide mode. Alright? Like I'm doing right now. DI PAOLO Which comedians do? CREDICO It's like, I'm always on a suicide...It's like a short fucking life, you're here and you're gone. And you get sixty years, some of them twenty months, and you're fucking gone, and you do- DI PAOLO Sixty spins around the moon. CREDICO "Sixty Spins Around the Sun", by Laura Kightlinger. She gets so pissed off at me, Laura Kightlinger- DI PAOLO Go ahead. Now back to the "Tonight Show". CREDICO -when I say- well, it's there. The whole "Tonight Show" saga, is encapsulated in the documentary- DI PAOLO Why didn't you get invited back, is what I'm asking you. The impression of Carson- CREDICO I did an impression of Carson and they didn't like that. DI PAOLO You only did the show once. CREDICO I did the show once. DI PAOLO And you referenced Jeanne Kirkpatrick. CREDICO I said about Jeanne Kirkpatrick, "Look at her-", I said "You look at her, and analyze what she says, ask yourselves seriously, 'Did Eva Braun die in that bunker in 1945?'" That was the first thing, then I did a- I couldn't come up with a good routine on Walter Mondale. He was so dull. Couldn't make it any- I couldn't make it funny, so I did something and I did this. I said, "Walter Mondale is the Tommy Newsome of the political-" DI PAOLO He was the trumpet player. CREDICO Right. So, Carson like, with one of these [makes gesture], and when it was over, I went to shake his hand, and he gave me one of those Trump handshakes, where he barely touches you with gloves. [DI PAOLO: Aw naaaaah...] Okay? You know how Trump does not like to touch people, alright? DI PAOLO I don't know that, how would I know that? CREDICO I know that, because he came to- DI PAOLO I slept with Melania once. CREDICO -Catch A Rising Star three times, when I was fucking Marla Maple- I never fucked Marla Maples, but he came- DI PAOLO Most attractive woman I've ever seen in person. CREDICO She's beautiful. DI PAOLO Marla Maples. CREDICO He actually was sitting in the audience, at Catch A Rising Star, with Marla Maples. DI PAOLO Who was? CREDICO Trump! In '92. '91. He came in- DI PAOLO I was hanging out there in '92- CREDICO Yes! Don't you remember when he was sitting in the corner? You walk in, and it was him- DI PAOLO No. CREDICO -with her, because he was close friends with Richard Fields. DI PAOLO I didn't know that. He was never there when I- CREDICO Fields was his press agent. DI PAOLO I came off stage one night- CREDICO Fields was his press agent. Remember Richard Fields? DI PAOLO I do remember. But I don't remember Trump ever being there. CREDICO Well, he brought Trump in. And he made a fortune because he was close friends to Eliot Spitzer, Eliot Spitzer flew around on his plane. They made a ton of fucking money, Richard Fields, with some Indian thing, in Florida. Made $600 million dollars. DI PAOLO The Hard Rock Cafe? CREDICO Some Indian gaming thing. DI PAOLO Yes! It's probably what is the Hard Rock Cafe today. In- in- in Florida. CREDICO Yeah, that was- DI PAOLO It's on the Seminole Reservation. CREDICO That would be Richard Fields. He made $600 million dollars. Alright? DI PAOLO How do they do that? How do they [inaudible] CREDICO You know who told me about that? Roger Stone. Roger Stone told me about that. DI PAOLO Roger knows everything. CREDICO How did you get this stuff Everclear? [DI PAOLO's balloon hissing laugh] [does Ted Kennedy] And I can recall-l-l-l-l...Ted Kennedy said, about Everclear...[drops Kennedy] No one knows what the fuck I'm talking about right now, but- DI PAOLO You know [inaudible] late eighties- CREDICO [inaudible] Are you drinking? Cuz I don't drink. DI PAOLO I'm having Diet Cokes. CREDICO I've been sober now for seven years. [he's fallen off the wagon during those years, and he sounds drunk on this night] DI PAOLO Seven years? And minus seven minutes. CREDICO People are going to believe that, folks. I haven't touched anything. DI PAOLO He hasn't. CREDICO I've not touched anything. DI PAOLO Diet coke and coffee. CREDICO A gallon of fucking ethyl here. Remember we used to call it regular and ethyl? [DI PAOLO: Yes.] They don't use ethyl anymore. That's ethyl [possible reference to what they're drinking]. DI PAOLO I pulled into a Sunoco station, I asked for ethyl the other day. CREDICO Yes. That should be two dollars eighty cents a gallon [possible reference to what they're drinking]. You're the only part of me that I can smell. DI PAOLO The hi test. My old man used to call them. CREDICO The hi test yes. DI PAOLO So, they didn't invite you back, because you- They said don't do a Carson impression- CREDICO I realized I just got a nice text message from Julian Assange. DI PAOLO No you didn't. CREDICO I did. DI PAOLO Read it on the air please, so I can get [inaudible] nude. Aw, don't be a bitch. CREDICO No, he does, he does. He listens to this show. I can't, because it's on Signal. DI PAOLO What does that mean? CREDICO That means I do it encryptically with him. FIORI Can't you read it? CREDICO He says: "Is it true that Nick DiPaolo has a half inch-" No, I'm kidding. Here. DI PAOLO "Half inch wide..." [pause] But four and a half inches long. CREDICO There it is. Reggie. Uh oh. [possible reference to Reggie Johnson, WBAI engineer] DI PAOLO We're getting his code. [pause] It's Frenchie. Somebody google- I'll be talking with Assange tonight on the way home in my car. [hissing balloon laugh] CREDICO There it is. [pause] We are very close friends. DI PAOLO Why- CREDICO How many people- How many people- DI PAOLO I don't understand- Who connected you to him? Why would he know your radio show? I don't understand. CREDICO I did a twelve part series called "Assange: Countdown to Freedom", and I ended up- [DI PAOLO: Ooooooh. Alright.] He actually helped me with the guests and the music. He gave me ideas for- DI PAOLO But he knew you at that point. Just from your show. CREDICO He did my show, one time in August- DI PAOLO WHY WOULD HE DO YOUR SHOW? CREDICO August 26th- DI PAOLO Stone got him on. CREDICO No no no, and then I tried to get him back on my show for seven months- DI PAOLO Randy, why would he do your radio show? CREDICO Because he knows- he knews- [sic] he knew that I supported him. And he did my radio show, because he could trust me. A lot of people out there- DI PAOLO I support Steve Bannon, he better do my show. CREDICO But he doesn't like you because he is a, as whatsisname said- said, that guy King [Peter King], says he looks like a disheveled drunk. DI PAOLO Who does? CREDICO That guy Peter King said that. DI PAOLO I know. Peter King's an asshole. CREDICO He [inaudible] is a great mask. Would you like that mask? [inaudible] for Halloween? A mask like that? Huh? That's the greatest- Peter King- DI PAOLO I hate New York so-called Republican right wingers from New York. Any other state, they'd be far left. CREDICO Have you ever seen a mask like Peter King's? DI PAOLO No. CREDICO That is some mask. DI PAOLO That is some mask. CREDICO I'd like to get that for Halloween. DI PAOLO Steve Bannon is a patriot. CREDICO Do you think so? DI PAOLO I love him. CREDICO Well, I knew that. DI PAOLO Well- Are you a globalist? Is it inevitable? Am I wasting my time with Steve Bannon? CREDICO I'm a- I'm a- DI PAOLO Are you a globalist? CREDICO I am a- DI PAOLO You're not. CREDICO I do not support- DI PAOLO You believe in the Constitution of this country, so you're not a globalist. CREDICO I do not support wars overseas. DI PAOLO Oh my god, back to the fucking- We gotta do what we gotta do. CREDICO Well, he's against war, isn't he? DI PAOLO Who, Bannon? Steve Bannon? Yeah. CREDICO I'm against invading...Russia. I'm against what's going on in- DI PAOLO Are we invading Russia? CREDICO -Syria, what's going on in Libya, I oppose all those Obama policies. DI PAOLO Are you an isolationist, Randy? CREDICO You support a Hillary Clinton- DI PAOLO Are you an isolationist? CREDICO Do you support Hillary- DI PAOLO Are you a Ron Paul military guy? CREDICO Yes. DI PAOLO So you're an isolationist. CREDICO I'm actually a Ron Paul, not a Rand Paul. Ron Paul. DI PAOLO On affairs of military. CREDICO I'm totally in lockstep with Ron Paul. DI PAOLO As far as the military goes. CREDICO As long as war goes. I'm with Ron Paul. What...you don't like Ron Paul? DI PAOLO I do like Ron Paul. I say this: bring everybody home- CREDICO You have any kids? [DI PAOLO: I do.] Do you have any kids? DI PAOLO I have...no, no. Not with Andi. I have a couple... CREDICO Yeah, from- DI PAOLO I had a club in Detroit a few years ago. I had Aisha, and Daisha, and Tyrone. They were all forty one years old. CREDICO Who used to work the front desk at Mick's? DI PAOLO The girl that worked the front desk at Mick's? CREDICO That you were fucking around with. You know about...Andi- DI PAOLO Holy shit, you're right! CREDICO I'm joking, yes. DI PAOLO That girl named Shannon, how the fuck would you know that? You're creepy. CREDICO Shannon was gorgeous. DI PAOLO How can you bring up broads that I forgot about? CREDICO I have a good memory for back then. But not recent. When I go before the committee, I forgot everything. DI PAOLO Uuuuuuuh- What did I- What did I- What did I just ask you? What did I just ask you? CREDICO [does Pentangeli] I don't remember. [out of Pentangeli] You were talking about you and Shannon. She was a blonde woman. DI PAOLO No no no. I just asked you a serious question. Oh, Ron Paul. So, you're an isolationist. CREDICO I like _Ron_ Paul. DI PAOLO You don't believe in- CREDICO [does Ron Paul] It's really crazy, that they're going after him, it's really uh- [DI PAOLO: That's a good Ron Paul!] Why are they going after Julian Assange? A friend of ours. And we know that he didn't do anything- DI PAOLO That's dead on. CREDICO [does Ron Paul] Here he is, calling the show. DI PAOLO Randy. CREDICO [does Ron Paul] And we- we're against it. Actually against this. Against this kind of- Thing that's going- DI PAOLO That's dead on! CREDICO [does Ron Paul] My son should be as good as I am on this, and Julian Assange is a friend of mine. He'd be a good friend of ours. DI PAOLO I say bring everybody home. This is what I say: make an announcement to the rest of the world. Because we're the only superpower left. Our military will crush anybody. We're going to bring everybody home, just like the world wants us out- CREDICO [does a a vague, barely recognizable impression of Trump] This is a great country. We're going to do our best. America's great. I love- I love Nick DiPaolo. People are talking about Nick DiPaolo. Nick DiPaolo's a great guy, he's a wonderful guy. [plays clip of "Scarface" - "'Nick the Pig' as a friend!"] CREDICO Oh my god. Is that- We got one segment- DI PAOLO One minute. CREDICO So, we've got just one more segment- DI PAOLO One minute. NO! This is it. I gotta say good night. Randy. Look, I pitched you already to this company. CREDICO They should have me here. I'm willing to come here, and- DI PAOLO You and I, we're opposed politically- CREDICO -actually get a big crowd for this place. DI PAOLO I know you would. CREDICO I can get an international crowd. DI PAOLO I know! You're an international name! I'm reading about you in People magazine! That went out of fucking circuit twenty years ago. Listen: thank you for coming in here. CREDICO You do a great job, by the way. DI PAOLO I can tell. I can tell by my money I do a great job. We're losing _her_ [most likely this is PALUMBO]. CREDICO You're to the right of fucken- DI PAOLO Mussolini. CREDICO Atilla wasn't against social security. Do you think Atilla the Hun was against social security? How far to the right was he? DI PAOLO I gotta go. [laughs] CREDICO Alright. DI PAOLO Come see me January 26th, 27th, at Comedyworks Saratoga Springs- CREDICO Can I be your opening act? DI PAOLO February 23rd, 24th, Governors of Long Island. March 3rd on Benny's Point Pleasant. Thank you to the great Randy Credico. We will have him back, he was fucking...amazing. He's the way I remember him. You kids take care of yourselves, we'll talk to you tomorrow night.
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