Create a new version of paste:

So to start my wife an I are both in our 40s and have two children (son 23, daughter 18) our son moved out a few years ago to live with his fiancé whom he has a lovely granddaughter who is the light of our lives.

We don’t live in a ‘small town’ but it’s smallish. My wife and I have been swinging for as long as I can remember, we don’t do it super consistently and you wouldn’t say we’re in the “culture of it” but we have used online sites/dating apps, etc to set up things. 

So the problem we’re having spurns from about a week ago. Through methods I’m not entirely sure it seems both of our children have become aware of our lifestyle. 

From an incredibly happy and close-knit family it was destroyed over night. It all started when my son called me in the evening, in a very calm voice he explained that he was aware of what me and my wife have been doing and that he had found evidence “online”.

He then proceeded to tell me that he wanted nothing to do with me or my wife and that essentially we were dead to him. He has said he will not ever allow us to see our granddaughter again, he has said that we’ve made him the “towns laughing stock” he called both me and his mother horrendous names no one should call their parent. 

After his rant he informed me that his sister (18) who was still living with us (at the time she wasn’t home) felt the same and would be moving in with him and his fiancé. 

We have never been a religious or conservative family, and one of the specific points my son has continuously argued is that he finds our behaviour “morally reprehensible” and he will never allow his granddaughter to be “exposed to people with such values”.

Since then my son has made several social media posts about how we’re swingers and are responsible for destroying his family. So effectively he has outed us to the entire town. 

Since the event I’ve seen my daughter once when she came home to get her clothes and she wouldn’t speak to me or make eye contact with me. My son has said that even if we completely change he would still want nothing to do with us as the “damage has been done”. 

He has told me that they are all going to move interstate by the end of the year and he just us to move on and pretend they were never our kids.

For the past week I’ve been telling myself they will calm down and see reason, but no matter how diplomatic and calm we try to be with them I cannot find a path to reconciliation. There has to be something I can do? My wife is a royal wreck and my kids seem to actively not want to fix things.

Any advice is appreciated, Cheers.