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Big Macintosh was working at the farm, when suddenly he got the urge for penis. "Why shucks, I sure could go for a horse cock right now." He looked up at the sky and sighed. He wondered "Where will I everOH JEEZ MY EYE I ACCIDENTALLY LOOKED AT THE SUN OH GARWSH SHUCKS THAT HURTS." Big Mac then rolled on the ground while covering his eyes for several minutes, and then came back to his senses. "So yeah, pony dongs. Where will I find one?" The Large Apple's dick-wondering was interrupted by his sister. "I'm goin to the Crystal Kingdom to save it or whatever! Bye!" Applejack informed him. "Of course." Big Mac began to formulate a plan. He would follow Applejack to The Crystal Kingdom, and totally fuck the shit out of Shining Armor. "Hey Sis, do you mind if I stalk you?" He inquired. "'Course, that's what family is for!"

Shining Armor was in his Castle of Crystals, polishing his surfboard. "I can't wait until Twily gets here, so we can hang ten." Twilight Sparkle and the other things were visiting The Crystal Kingdom, he couldn't fucking wait to hang out with his best broski Twily. "But you know what would be totally radder than hanging ten with Twily? Horse penis." So he sent out a telepathic message to all of his unicorn guards to find the Stallion with the biggest cock in the Crystal Kingdom, so he could fuck the shit out of him.

Big Macintosh had just arrived in the Crystal Kingdom. All he to do now was find Shining Armor. "Stop right there, earth pony scum!" Big Mac froze. What did he do wrong? Was there some sort of obscure law he had broken? The guard approached, and began staring at his penis. "Yup", the guard said. "He's the one." The guard teleported Big Mac to Shining Armor's room. "There you are, dude!" Shining armor said, while stroking his throbbing horse erection. "Hiya. I was just looking for you. Let's have some sex." Big Mac began stripping, but then he stopped because he didn't wear any clothes. He took hold of Shining Armor's shining penis, and began stroking it. "This penis ain't like any other I seen before." The Macintosh was entranced by the royal custard blaster. However, to his surprise, it suddenly came after only 30 seconds! Shining Armor apologized, showed Big Macintosh the door, and cried himself to death.

The end.