Create a new version of paste:

Hearts™: hey Banda if you could choose between a girl with a ten inch dick and a girl with ten one-inch dicks
Hearts™: which would you choose
General Banda: The first
Hearts™: explain
General Banda: I would make it a party game to shock people with my gf's ten incher.
Hearts™: that game would only be fun the first time
General Banda: Also I've never been a fan of multiple dicks, shit makes no sense.
Hearts™: then everyone would be like
Tankles left chat.
Hearts™: "gross banda, put your girlfriend away"
General Banda: And I'd be like "My house, my rules"
General Banda: Then they'd be like "We're at Applebee's dude"
Hearts™: "why do we keep coming to banda's parties"
Hearts™: and the waitress would coyly flop her massive 12 incher onto the table
Hearts™: and give a light blushing giggle
General Banda: And then I'd be a Mormon
General Banda: With two wives.
Hearts™: and your girlfriend would huff disapprovingly and put her knuckles on her hips and give you the cutest glare
General Banda: At home the two would compete to best the other
Hearts™: but her dick would still be so erect that it was about to burst out of the skin and you'd see the veins pressing up against it like an inflated balloon
General Banda: Often asking me to judge.
Hearts™: with a bit of babymaking fluid dribbling out the tip
General Banda: So lewd Hearts, I love it.
Hearts™: and you'd have to reassure her that it's okay to get turned on by the applebees waitress
-JTemby: Hearts... that just then made me giggle, you should write more cute stuff :3
Hearts™: and she'd turn red and go "I'm not turned on, banda, you pervert!"
Lieutenant Garver: There's a love story in there somewhere
Hearts™: like you're the big pervert and she isn't the one sporting wood in public
General Banda: >Sporting wood in a skirt
Hearts™: and the waitress would offer to bring some napkins and your girlfriend would throw the ketchup bottle at her, and everyone would laugh at her misfortune
Hearts™: Banda's girlfriend is so funny!  and what a massive dong
General Banda: This would make a good sitcom
Hearts™: then she'd get all your friends to sign her dick like it was a cast
Hearts™: and I'd stroke it a little bit while writing and she'd smack my hand
-JTemby: Oh god, someone pastebin this
Hearts™: "no!  ONLY banda"
Rear Admiral Vekter: I got my car fixed, cleaned my living room, redid my battlestation so it looks less ghetto, Bungie is running a new ARG
Rear Admiral Vekter: and I have a Shamrock Shake.
Hearts™: and Banda would grab her a clump of her hair and pull her head down to the table and tell her not to insult his friends
Rear Admiral Vekter: And all was right with the world.
Hearts™: and she'd cry while making little horny noises and struggling
Rear Admiral Vekter: What the actual fuck, Hearts.
Hearts™: and me and everyone would be like, "is this part of their sex thing?  is this domestic violence?  do we intervene?"
Hearts™: and it would be so awkward
Hearts™: but then the waitress would break the tension by making a hilarious joke
Hearts™: the end