Create a new version of paste:

>You're a fucking Viking.
>It's time to feast motherfucker.
>You're newly arrived in Ponyville
>Met Pinkie Pie
>She says she wants to throw you a party.
>Have no idea what the Thor is a party.
>"Blahblahdancingblahblahmusicblahblahfood-"
>Dancing, translates to:
"Fighting...?"
>Music translates to:
"War stories...?"
>Food translates to:
"FOOOOD!"
>Gonna fucking eat the shit outta some shit
>"Yeah, basically!"
>Let this shit get the fuck started.

>Be a fucking Viking
>At a Pinkie Pie Banquet
>Bubble Music in the air
>Brave Ponies everywhere
>Everyone’s having fun
>’Sept you
>Time to fix this shit.
“PINKIE PIIEEEE!”
>Pink pone at eye level
>”Hiya!”
“I DEMAND THAT WE HAVE A TRUE FEAST!”
>Concussive force of your manly voice sends streamers flying
>Pinkie Smiles
>”RIGHT THERE WITH YA!”
>LET THE FEASTING BEGIN!

>In true Nordic style, you challenge everyone to a drinking contest
>The heaviest stuff they have is something called “Apple Cider”
>WHAT HELL IS THIS, WHERE THE MEAD IS ALL GONE?!
>Ponies begin to bow out after you chug the fifth one in a row, only Applejack and Rainbow Dash are staying in with any sense of strength.
>At the twelth, Rainbow Dash falls over.
>Applejack laughs
>You bellow in amusement.
>At the twenty-first, Applejack is woozy, and you’re feeling it too.
>You have to end this now, this Cider is looking less and less appetizing by the drink.
“WHAT’S THAT?”
>Make Applejack spill her Cider
>”OH NO YOU DIDN’T!”
>Rocket Powered Pone to the chest
>On your ass
>On the floor
>Fucking game on.

>Slug Applejack in the ribs
>Get a hoof to the face for your effort
>Your teeth go flying
>Glare down at the Pony.
>She bucks your chest
>BE A MAN
>YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING HEAD INTO HER FUCKING BACK
>NO HUMAN IS EVER HELPESS WHILE ARMED WITH THEIR BRAIN CASE!
>Get bucked in the knee
>Legs in the air
>Standing on Applejack by your head
>Grab her fucking neck
>BY THOR’S BEARD THIS LITTLE HORSE CAN MOVE
>Tables going every which way
>Errybody’s getting’ bucked
>Your head and hands grip Applejack like a Roman grips a small child
>Yes, you wrapped your beard around the pony
>She’s smashing you into the ceiling now.
>Finally, your beard comes loose and you fly into the far wall
>Applejack, exhausted, looks at you uneasily.
“ODIN’S SPEAR, THAT WAS THE BEST FIGHT I’VE HAD IN MY LIFE!”
>Wrap your arm around Applebro
>Drink the entire town under the table together.
>Sing drunken songs about how tough the other was
>Pinkie Pie is taking notes
>Luna is amazed there’s still partying going on when she passes the sky off to Celestia
>Stelnikov wishes he was there.