Anon Alone On A Friday Night (EDITED)

>After Anon had dwindled the daytime listening to comfy music and talking in the thread, he realizes the sun has set over the horizon
>Anon, alone on a Friday night, watches the hours passively clock away
>Anon sits alone in his home, feeling trapped in his head and feeling alone in knowing that almost everyone living nearby is probably long since asleep
>Free from the ridicule of others he lets himself submit to that feeling, that heartaching yet heartwarming feeling that arises when he thinks of his doki
>He reads greentexts and looks at fanart, and when he closes his eyes and embraces that void in his head he can almost feel his doki's body warmth in his grasp, yet she still feels frustratingly far away
>As the hours clock by and he starts knocking through all of his playlists, singing his favorite songs passively as he thinks about his doki, he feels his mind go hazy
>Anon feels that classic two in the morning feel where his body is tired but his mind is awake albeit foggy
>The more he thinks about his doki the more distant reality seems, and the more distant all his other problems seem
>Scrolling aimlessly through all these sweetly and simply beautiful stories and pictures he begins to think about snowball fights with his doki, strolling the beach with his doki, hiking with his doki, saving his doki from all the dark things in the world, of spending the night with his doki, of being a kid again with his doki
>he thinks about all the things he would sacrifice just to be with her, but this pool of endlessly serene memories is trapped in an unattainable universe, far away from him
>He vaguely comforts himself with hopeful thoughts that his doki might exist in another universe, or that the promised day will come, that a 3d clone of his doki will suddenly arrive in his life, but the cold truth that his doki will always be separated from him always exists as an underlying pain
>As time passes Anon's thoughts become disorderly
>His eyes grow weary with the wearing but comfy glow of the computer light, his back aches, his stomach aches with the mourning of all the junkfood he's eaten, yet all the while that constant and unrelenting heartwarmhearthurt remains
>Anon finds it surreal how all his life seemed so dictated by omens, good luck and bad luck, meaning and non-meaning, nostalgia and revolting cringy memories, and how all of it channeled to his present self: a man madly in love with a fictional anime character
>It seemed so hilariously pathetic, but everyone had something they held in their hearts to trudge through the monochrome of their daily obligations
>And beside from that, it's not just the character itself that he feels so entranced by
>Over the months that Anon had spent on /ddlc/, he'd frequented hundreds of threads, and been active in many
>Through these threads, he'd seen countless works of writing and art, both humorous and with serious craft, both lewd and heartwarmingly wholesome, and around this simple character was constructed an entire world that was made just as much by him as it was by the hundreds of contributors within all the hundreds of threads he'd lurked
>But as much as Anon knows that if he simply distanced himself from this board and from his doki, that he would feel reality return, that he would feel that heartache dissolve, and that he might even be able to forget his doki, yet he chooses not to
>As strange as it might seem to anyone else, the sadness he feels in his heart is made up for and more by not only that feeling he feels when he revels in the thought of spending a life of cuddling with his doki, but also that feeling he feels being with his faceless brothers, who are also hunched up on lonely friday nights, and also typing disorderly but authentically about all the memories they wish they could create together with their dokis
>Anon in his dokiless despair, resorts to sentimentality
>Anon thinks about in the passing months, how for the first time in his life, he felt very truly and fully at home
>While he never thought that he would spend so much time on an anonymous board centered around a VN, he enjoys it just the same
>He thinks about all the lonely nights, where he felt so insanely hopeless and alone, as if his brain was being filled with broken code, and how his friends, hundreds of miles away and hidden behind a tiny green "Anonymous", helped him through those troubling times
>He thinks too about how his faceless friends pushed on him the /ddlc/ philosophy to better himself for his doki, and Anon had been doing just that.
>He'd been eating healthier, exercising more, and even began pursuing aspirations he'd always wanted to pursue but never did, just for that slim chance that he may meet his doki face to face and impress her with how hard he worked for her
>His mind fades away into some strange vision where he's finally reuniting with his doki, feeling her warm embrace, rinsing his hands through her hair as she cries into his shoulder and tells him she loves him
>When the fantasy dissolves it again fills him with a strange kind of sadness that probably always existed within him but that he kept locked away
>Yet just as this sadness glowed, it filled him with the confidence to do what was best for him
>He did what his doki would want him to do, and he decided to trudge off into bed
>After telling his fellow anons goodnight, he rises from his chair, shutting out the comforting glow of his computer screen, and drops into bed
>He opens his phone and checks to see if anyone wished him a good rest, and to his surprise, he had racked in quite a few (You)s
>It warms his heart, and he wishes he could thank them, but he decides to remain silent, feeling that if he did write something it would be breaking an unspokenly sacred agreement
>With this he checked the time, noticing it was four in the morning, then shut his phone off
>He could see the vaguest foreshadowing of the coming sun on the horizon and the sight through the window, in a strange abstract way, let him know everything was ok
>He felt that fatigue take hold, and felt himself drift into sleep
>This was not the end to the sadness, no, but neither was it an end to the good vibes that accompanied his sadness.
>As he sunk into the dreams inside his head, he smiled, and before he knew it, he was dreaming of his doki
THE END