Drunken Master

You are Hana.

And today was a pretty good day.

You met Laki’s parents and they don’t seem to hate you. In fact they’ve barely paid attention to you. You feel a bit bad that Herb seemed to get it all, but you know he doesn’t mind social situations as much as you. He looks like he’s started to like them, actually. You’re happy for him, but that’s a little bit worrying too, and it makes you play with your hair. He’s just widening the gap between your leagues every day.

You force yourself to relax. Herb doesn’t care about that sort of thing. And Laki’s parents don’t seem to either. Today is a good day, so start feeling like it. Stop jinxing it.

“How about a little reward? Both of you.” Laki says. You were sort of spacing out there but that grabbed your attention.

“Umm, reward?” Herb says, trying to claw his way back into sobriety for a moment.

Holy fucking balls you know that look on her face. You gave up all hope for action tonight a long time ago. “YES.”

Laki gives you a look. Keep it down.

“Sorry. Yes please.” Oh crap your steps have totally been louder than that. You bet nobody wanted to say anything. The hardwood in the house makes a hard thunking noise when you walk on it sometimes, even though carpet.

She rolls her eyes and scooches closer. “So remember how Soft Hands said we can take things at our own pace? Well, look. I know I've been stand off with you, and if this is something you really want more of, and not just as a thing we do to rev him up, I guess we can, occasionally, get a little closer.”

Is she saying what you think she’s saying? No. You misheard that or your reading into it or something. “What do you mean?”

Laki looks a little annoyed, but also still pretty happy. She grabs your shirt and pills you in for a kiss! And Herb is between you two! Oh. Oh wow this is hot. Laki is a balanced kisser. Not too hard, not too soft, but she always establishes what she wants and expects with her mouth. You wonder if she wants to keep it with just kissing or really open things up. Her huge, gorgeous tits are pushed around a bit by Herb’s squished face and your own body. She smells so good. She tastes so good. You just want to do so many things with them. But you restrain yourself. Don’t scare Laki away. It’s a miracle you don’t scare Herb away as it is.

Right! Herb! He’s pinned between you! “What about Herb?” You reluctantly break the kiss and ask

“I’ll, uh, take a reward too.” He mumbles.

The look Laki gives you puts a little water in the old canoe. Her grin is just so mischievous. She gives it to Herb, too. “Well, I wanted to give you both stuff you weren’t getting enough of from me before.” She undoes his belt, releases his semi hard beast, and goes down on it.

You thought she’d just stop any fooling around at her parents home, but she’s escalating it instead. Just blowing him right here in the living room, where anyone could come in at any time.

You want in. Can you join in? “Heh, oh no.” You say sarcastically, testing the air. “Now how are we supposed to make out? Guess we’ll just have to do both. Yup.” You cringe at how awkward you are, but who cares! You go down too.

You and Laki play a little game, dancing your tongues around him and tagging each other. Sometimes you get a little greedy and go to the top to try to suck him off a little for real instead of teasing. Sometimes she does too. You don't want to push it too much but you do focus a lot on kissing Laki when you get the chance too.

You feel a hand on your back. You look up and see Herb touching Laki’s too. You lock eyes with Laki to ask if this is that thing she told you about. The look in her eyes tells you that it is, and that you’re in for a real experience. You let it happen.

You don’t feel anything at first. But you’re really worked up already.

“You looking to take this farther, Soft Hands?” Laki says with that sexy smirk of hers.

“I know your parents are-” he hiccups “home and it’s really risky. I guess that sort of kills the mood.”

You love your adorable Herb. It’s statements like that that make him just so cute sometimes. But it’s also worrying. There’s just such a big gap between his sexuality and yours.

Laki throws off her pants and sliders her bra off, then climbs on top of Herb. She’s so hot an amazing. She just goes for it. You wish you could be that brave. You were pretty harsh on her before, but there are areas of bravery she just blows you out of the water with.

“It’s your fault, Soft Hands. You got me all excited. You’re going to have to take care of it.” She says as she tries to find a good position. You reach out and grab his big, meaty dick to help line it up for her.

“Hold on.” She tells him as she moves around. She ends up sitting on his lap and facing you, slowly sinking down on his dick. You can see that same mix of pain and pleasure you’ve come to know yourself on her face. The pain goes away as you adjust and get more turned on, and boy is it worth it to endure. But why did Laki turn around to face you?

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have got in the way. I-”

“Get more involved.” She grabs you in for another kiss, takes one of your hands and puts it on her boob. It feels so heavy and lucious under her sweater. You play with the nipple while she tries to push herself up and down again. Herb’s face in all of it really turns you on. But what gets you more right now is Laki. She isn’t just including you. She wants you.

You need to get off tonight. You’re at your limit. You got so used to just getting yourself off whenever you had a little alone time and a way to hide the noise from your arm. And you got so damn used to it and used it so much that you forgot how to get off without it. You thought Herb’d want to go at it a lot more, but things just kept happening. You want to ask him for more, but you don’t want to burden him. He’s just one guy. You don’t expect him to repeat that marathon he gave you on your birthday, but you’d really like to have more dickings evenly spaced out. You get...weird without regular servicing.

Ah! Shut up and touch Laki! What are you doing wasting this?

Footsteps approach. Cockblocking, stupid footsteps.

Laki is being greedy too. She heard it at the same time, but she went for an extra slow pump before she let herself react. Not that you blame her, but this is actually a really bad situation to be caught it, right?

You look around, then grab a blanket from the chair and toss it on Laki and Herb’s legs. Now it just looks like she’s sitting on his lap, all sweaty and bra-less. It’ll have to do because the footsteps are here!

“You guys still awake?” Abigail says as she turns the corner.

You sigh in relief.

“You have no idea.” Laki tells her. You can’t see what’s going on under the blanket, but Herb’s face is painting a picture.

“Y-yeah.” He mutters. His voice sounds so strained. You wish you were Laki right now.

“Ooooookay.” Abigail’s voice drips with skepticism as she sits in the chair. “Hey. Give me that blanket back.”

Uh oh.

“Come take it.” Laki says, grinding subtly.

Oh this is so bad and so hot. You rub your thighs together.

“Yeah right.” Abigail says, skeptical of some sort of prank or trap. Well, she’s not that far off. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing.” Laki says. You can tell she’s struggling to control her voice and movements. When he first puts it in it’s hard and scary, but once you get comfy, you want him to destroy you with it.

“Goldentop, what’s Laki got under the blanket?” Abigail says, approaching slowly.

If anyone’s going to give it away right now, it’s Herb. You want to give him that face too!

“Nothing.” He says honestly. But there’s this slight little playfulness to him that jumps out at you. It’s subtle, but there.

“Hana?” She turns to you.

“Herb’s, uh, telling the truth.” You mutter. You don’t want to be the one to ruin it.

Abigail looks much more skepitcal now. “Wait. You guys are naked under there, aren’t you!” She rips the blanket away. “OH GROSS!”

“Shhhh.” Laki says, picking up the pace suddenly. She’s so shameless.

“What’s wrong with you?” Abigail whispers as loudly as she can. “Are you trying to get caught?”

Well now you really wish you were Laki! Getting watched while she fucks Herb in such a lewd position while a cute redhead scolds her? You let your hand roam over your body a bit.

“Mom wants grandkids and dad’s been putting down Herb because he thinks it’ll help him lower the dowry. Maybe I do.” She’s losing herself on dick lust. Her words make sense, but the pace and energy are going up. You still haven’t gotten used to this. You’ve watched a lot of porn, but nothing compares to a live show.

“After everything I’ve done? Now listen here you ungrateful b-”

Herb grabs Laki’s hips and starts power thrusting, completely overpower Laki and the conversation. “I can’t help it!” He says, a little uncomfortably loud. “Laki, it feels so good.”

Laki ends up bending forward in surprise, but also joy. She’s surprised and happy about it once she gets her balance. Her face contorts, but still bounces back to that self satisfied, smug, predatory look. Like her prey is putting up a good fight, even though it’s futile.

“Friggin’ shit!” Abigail mutters under her breath.

“Give it to her.” You whisper. You can feel Abigail’s sideways glance and judgement, but you’re caring a lot less as the moment goes by. Is Herb’s aura thing kicking in? Or is this just you being you?

Herb stands Laki up and bends her over the couch. Before he begins, he flashes you a quick smile. Oh wow. He sort of got a little like this on your birthday, but there’s something different. He’s lacking a lot of his inhibition.

He plows into her, right there in front of you and Abigail. Abigail looks around, fearing Laki’s parents will pop up from behind a bookshelf or out of the fireplace. But her eyes keep returning to the show in front of her.

Laki’s tits are really perky for their size, but they still hang a bit as she’s bent over. The way they jiggle against the fabric of her sweater ad the way Laki starts to get lost in it is too far. You don’t care anymore. You put your hands down your panties.

“You guys are disgusting! What if they hear? What if Gardevoir is...Gardevoir!” Abigail quickly and quietly takes off out of the room

“I should go help.” You tell nobody in particular. You don’t even take your hand out of your pants.

“Stay.” Herb commands. “Hana, you’re next.”

Sploosh. You fall to your knees and really give it to yourself.

“You’re not going to keep your pants on, are you?” He asks as he pulls out and turns Laki around. She’s compliant, still gathering herself back up. He lowers her down to the floor in front of the fireplace now.

“You’re so aggressive.” She says. He’s being gently and easy, but there’s just this firmness and authority to him right now.

He grins. “How could I not be?” His speech has that slight hint of a slur. “With such beauty?” He puts himself inside. Laki gasps and arches her back. “I have to take you.”

“Take me?” She asks skeptically, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You’re getting pretty cocky there, Soft Hands. I do the taking ar-”

He begins to thrust. It’s slow, deliberate, but powerful. He doesn’t say anything, but he takes it slow, waiting for her to try to assert herself again. When she does, he goes a little harder. He must have hit a great spot, because she shudders every time. “You do remember the safe word, don’t you?”

“Uh huh” She nods. Her voice is high and feminine now.

“Good. Good. Because when I’m done making you cum for me, I’m going to finish inside of you.”

Holy shit. Is this really Herb? You see Laki helplessly but eagerly nod and realize you’re doing the same. You didn’t mean to, but he’s just so commanding and sauve right now. It feels so intimate too. Should you be here watching?

“Hana. Pants.” Herb reminds you. “And come closer. We’re all together. If I put a baby in Laki, you’ll be a part of the family too.”

Laki is brought over the edge. It’s one of those creeping orgasms that you’re not sure will go all the way through until it does. You can tell just by watching her. Her right leg wraps around his back, but it doesn’t seem like she’s coordinated enough to force him inside of her this time. Not that he’s leaving, of course.

“Yeah.” You say honestly, kicking your pants off with clumsy abandon.

“I think you’d both make great mothers.” He says, teasing Laki as she comes down. “You’re caring, sweet...”

“Uh. huh.” Laki manages through gritted teeth. He’s still slow and steady, but each thrust looks like it’s bringing her closer to another orgasm already.

“And you’re lovable. I know, because I love you.” He kisses her deeply, thrusting a little deeper and pinning her arms back. She matches her hips to him.

“I love you too.” She says. Her voice is dripping with emotion and lust. Her eyes are unfocused.

“I’m going to do it.” He warns her. “It might be risky. My aura power could make it possible to give you a baby even through your birth control.”

“Do it. Please.” She begs. You’ve never seen her like this. She’s completely under his spell. “Please.”

“Are you going to take it all?”

“Yes. Please!” She whispers so desperately.

He thrusts harder and deeper, but not faster. In seconds, he’s coming inside of her. It’s his turn to make a funny face. But even through that, he maintains this aura of sauve control.

She has an intense, toe curling orgasm, pushing hard against him. Her hands grasps at the carpet. You stopped touching yourself despite really, really having the physical urge. There’s something just so wholesome about it.

They lay down for a moment, breathing. You feel even more awkward.

“Hana. Come here.” Laki beckons. “Cuddles. Please.”

You smile and cuddle in with her and Herb. Now that’s a pleasant, safe feeling. You’re really disappointed that the mood seems over, but you guess you can endure it, if it means you can feel like this.

“I’m sorry Hana. I can’t even move.” Laki says.

“I can.” Herb says, pressing against you. Wait, is that his leg or-
--------------------------------------------------------------


Those self centered, stupid assholes!

Yes! Even Herb! How many times does a week does he need to get his dick wet?

Wahine talked your ear off. She’s a nice enough lady, but you can definitely see where Laki gets some of her traits. She gets that same smug predatory attitude and picks on you. She was meaner too. She didn’t put you in a headlock or call you any names. She just told you that one day you’ll be sure to find a man who’ll take you into his harem too.

As if!

And here you are, again, helping cover for them. You’re thankful that at least they’re keeping it down. You gagged poor Gardevoir and sent her to the other side of the yard, and she’s calmed down a lot. You felt bad for leaving her there, and leaving Conqueror to watch over her, but they seem to get along fine and there are other pokemon out there.

You guess sometimes you see Gardevoir as more human than pokemon. That’s not really to say that you look down on pokemon compared to humans, you just recognize that they’re different. They act differently and have different ways of seeing the world.

Like Loanans.

Well, you guess not Hana. She’s had a weird upbringing, huh? But you like her, even if you never know what to say to her. She might be a bit of a pervert, but now you’re starting to suspect the whole group is.

Are you the odd one? When did it become so weird to not just want to bang some wealthy, fashionable mainlander? Laki looks like her family is doing pretty well for itself, too.

Nah. That Valerie girl is rich. Herb and Laki are middle class. You’re just poor. You’re the weird one there and in your views on sex. Both things you can blame on mom, though. She’s brought in a lot of “uncles” over the years, who then became totally your future step-dad. Who then always left you and her. Not that you really wanted them to stick around, but still. They could’ve at least tried.

Frig. That’s not true either. Some tried. But mom being mom, well...

Of course, you know mom feels the same way about you. “If only I wasn’t a single mom.”

Whatever.

What’s that noise from the living room? Oh frig are they STILL going at it? That’s a long time. You hate that you’re getting an idea of how long Laki lasts in bed!

You don’t want to see it but they need to know to keep it down! Freaking maniacs!

“Hey, morons.” You whisper as you take the corner. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’M CUMMING!” Hana almost yells. Idiot!

“Keep it down!” You whisper, but her words turn to noise as she bites her lip. Even Herb doesn’t seem to care. He’s just pumping away at her from behind like a beast! Eww! Sweaty boy-ass!

You smack him upside the head. “I expected this from Hana, but you, Herb! What’s wrong with you!” You whisper loudly.

That seemed to stop things. Hana’s ecstatic face slowly calms down and Herb turns to face you.

“I’m discovering a lot about aura.” He says, happily. A stupid, stupid boyish grin on his face.

“What the frig are you talking about?” You glance around the room. Laki is laying on the floor, sweaty and bottomless. She looks like that guy mom brought home with the drug problem.

Herb slides himself out of Hana, slowly and audibly. How could having something like that shoved inside of you feel good? How can that be attached to such a refined guy? You try to keep your eyes up and your supper down. The latter is a lot easier than the former.

“Are you dr....oh yeah. I guess you’re pretty wasted, huh?” You guess that explains his shamelessness. It’s still very frustrating. You’re on edge about them getting busted and nobody seems to care. Are they that addicted to lewdness? Even Herb?

“Abigail.” Laki quietly calls out to you. “I need your help.”

You sigh. She never just lets you think. “Let me guess, you need to know how I'm so pale, right? Or is it a flat joke this time? Ginger joke? Huh?”

“I need a paper towel or something.” She says, looking just the slight it hurt and a little vulnerable. “I don't want to leak onto the carpet.”

Well now you feel like a jerk. “Leak into the...” Your sentence just sort of fades as you realize what she means. Herb finished inside her and it's to going to get drip out. “Gross!”

You try not to stomp as you pass Herb and Hana on your way into the kitchen to fetch something for Laki. Her head was at crotch level and you really don’t even want to know if he was helping her up or something else.

What is it about Herb that makes them act so stupid? Yeah, he’s kind of cute sometimes. Yeah, he’s got that weird barbarian appeal. Yeah, he’d probably be a good dad. But he’s just a goofy kid.

Ah, you shouldn’t call him that. You’re older than Laki and people still call you a kid and it really gets under your skin.

Fine. Herb is like a goofy... young man. There. But he’s not what you usually picture when you think of someone being sexy. And it’s not like you’re a total prude. You’ve thought of men as sexy before. Big, tall, muscled men with an aggressive or bad boy attitude. It’s the confidence that gets you. Herb’s a good guy, but he just doesn’t have that in him.

You grab the roll of paper towels and take it back to Laki. But you can already hear what’s going on before you turn the corner.

There’s Herb again, standing, powerfucking Hana without her legs on. At first your brain doesn’t really register the scene right because she’s got zero legs and he’s got three.

“Aren’t you done yet?” You whisper as you walk past, not hiding any annoyance in your tone at all. You whip the paper towels at Laki. She still gives a quick and quiet thanks despite it bounce off of her head.

You expected him to have an embarrassed look or some form of shame, but he just looks you in the eyes. “Hana wants me to make it so she can’t think straight.” He calmly and confidently informs you.

“I was kidding.” Hana says, having the decency to sound a little ashamed.

“No.” He replies, his voice a little deeper now. He lets his pause hang in the air for half a second before continuing, showing a lot of control over the situation. “You weren’t.”

He lowers her down his shaft. The expression on her face is one of shock more than pleasure, or as you’d assume looking at it from this angle, pain. She doesn’t have time to sort it out before she’s lifted and lowered again. The pace is slow, but each thrust seems to end with this little microsecond pause, like there’s something else going on.

You tear your eyes away. “You guys are going too far. What if we get caught?”

“We?” Laki asks from across the room. She’s too busy cleaning up to add on anything else.

“Not what I mean.” Last thing you want is Laki to have even more of a reason to give you a hard time because she thinks your after her man. “I spent all day trying to butter them up and act like your chaperone! I’m invested here too, y’know. It feels like I’m doing way more than you jerks!” Tears of frustration form on your eyes. You try to squeeze them away so they don’t show.

“Abigail.” Herb says, putting one hand on your shoulder while using the other to slowly bounce Hana. The shock of it makes you freeze up. “You’re a good friend. I’m sorry we’ve stressed you out.”

“Then stop!”

The eyes he gives you make you question everything you know about this guy. This is not a part of Herb you’ve seen before. “No. Not until I’m done. I hope you’ll understand.”

Words once again fails you as he concentrates on Hana again. Her eyes light up at the deepest part of each thrust. She looks like she’s trying to say something but just can’t express it. Not because she’s overwhelmed, but more confused. And turned on. Very, very turned on. It goes on for a short time before he gets tired and stops.

“Magic.” She sputters. “Your dick is magic.”

“It’s your aura. I’m figuring it out.” He says, lowering her down to the floor, then he slowly pushes himself in again and she makes the same face. “It’s easier to turn you on when you’re already turned on. It’s easier to bring you to the edge if you already feel something.” He does something to emphasize his point, because Hana grits her teeth and flexes.

“So...close.” It’s a statement and a form of begging.

“And we’re going to stay here.” He says, a slightly smug look on his face. Who is this guy and what did he do with Herb? He’s still got a look of kindness to him too, it’s just different. Like a masculine kindness where he’s trying to show a kid something but letting them fail to figure it out on their own.

“Please?” She says, thrusting into him.

He keeps his one hand on her waist, with a finger lurking an inch in from her hip bone. For some reason your eyes are drawn to it. Like you feel a sense of electricity or something there.

“That’s not what you told me you wanted.” He smiles, kindly and cruely.

“Please! Sir? Master? Daddy?” She looks desperate now, trying to find whatever word will make him relent and just give it to her. “Dude? Be a pal?”

He gives her a trailing kiss on her neck. “No.”

“What do you want?” Her frustration is emphasized by her needy hip movements.

Herb is a monster. He’s a beast. He’s horrifying. All this time you thought he was this innocent guy who fell into a weird girlfriend situation because he’s too nice to say no to anybody. But this has changed your mind entirely. He’s dominating her. He’s confident. He’s sexy. He’s cruel, too! Was it all just an act? Is this the real Herb? Has he just been manipulating everyone just like that nutcase Jane said? You know when it comes to guys it’s just nice, but generally pushover types and mean, sometimes on rare occasions sexy jerks, but you never in a million years thought Herb would be the sexy jerk kind. And you thought you were helping some nice guy who needed it, too! He’s nothing but a manipulative sex fiend!

“You going to just stare at my man’s pride all night?” Laki says, regaining some of her jealousy. She’s at the doorway. Oh crap! Did she leave to the bathroom and come back? Were you staring?

“I wasn’t staring!” You, if you’re being truthful, are probably lying to her face. But you’re too mad to care.

“That why your face is as red as your hair?”

“I’m angry!” You whisper back, loudly. But for the first time, you’re also aware of something else. A quick shift in the way you’re standing confirms that your stupid body is responding to this. It’s just biology, though. The smell, the exposed skin, the sounds... “Aren’t you?”

She sits down beside you, preparing a place to sleep. “Why would I be?”

“Look at them!” You whisper. Now they’re going at it doggy style, with Hana’s increasingly silly face pointed towards you. Her boobs look a lot bigger with her on all fours like this. Her hips look wider with his hands on them. “Don’t you see what he’s doing?”

“Say it.” He commands, gently, but firmly.

Crap. What’d you miss? What’s he trying to get her to say?

Hana looks like she’s trying her best to resist.

“Every time you say it, I’ll give you one of these.” He says. His tone makes his words sound nicer. Like he’s not just dominating this pervert girl out of some sick jerk manipulative fantasy.

‘One of these’ looks like this slightly slower, more deliberate thrust. But it’s got that strange electricity about it. Is he using aura power? Whatever it is, it makes her arm give out and her back arch.

“I’m a good person?” She asks, wondering if that will appease him. Apparently it does because he gives her another, driving her wild.

“Something else.” He demands.

“I can look okay under the right lighting.”

He stops entirely. Her lewd, mixed up face that looks like she’s had some sort of weird stroke begins to fall back into normalcy, but with a disappointed face.

“I mean. I’m pretty.”

He starts again, giving her a much harder one this time. She gasps and looks even goofier than before.

“I’m pretty.” She says again, earning another one. It looks even more intense.

“Something else.”

“I’m giving?”

He gives it to her again, harder. Each time he does that she claws at the carpet, rolls her eyes up, and whimpers.

“What’s he doing?” You manage to tear your eyes off of them long enough to look to Laki.

“Never seen this before.” She says. “But it’s pretty obvious. Hana’s got some self-esteem issues. I don’t like to pry. Looks like he’s helping her deal with them.”

“You can’t just cure self-esteem issues with the power of gross dickings!” You whisper angrily.

“Yes you can.” Hana startles you with a reply that she directs to Herb. “Keep doing it.” You didn’t think she could hear you. “It’s, ah! Totally. HNG! Working!”

Herb doesn’t seem to pay any mind to your objection. He’s just growing what he’s doing in intensity. “Can you feel it? Every physical sensation has a ripple in your aura. And every ripple in your aura can make you feel something physical.”

“Soft Hands, don’t waste your energy on something like that.” Laki says, looking concerned for the first time since this whole thing started. She could have used some of that concern about her freaking parents walking in!

He keeps melting away her brain with each thrust. “It doesn’t take much. I’ve been doing it all wrong. Aura flows like water, so I just need to rock the right waters with the right rhythm and it. Creates. A. Tidal. Wave!” He grunts out the last part.

Hana shoots up stiffly. Her eyes go wide and her voice gets loud. Really loud. Laki’s thinking the same thing and tosses you a pillow. You shove it in Hana’s lewd face and she doesn’t even seem to realize you’re there.

“I love you.” He whispers into her ear. Maybe it’s the tone in his voice or all that weird atmosphere  about him, but you believe him entirely. He wasn’t trying to be a selfish manipulative jerk. She knew what he was doing and probably talked him into it. He’s just doing whatever he can to make her happy, because, like he said, he loves her.

“Ab! Pillow!” Laki reminds you. Crap! You smother Hana harder. Hana’s voice is way too loud now. You keep expecting Laki’s dad to come barreling in any second. Wait, did she just call you Ab?

Hana screams into the pillow. Not a moan or a simple noise, but a full throated scream. You push harder.

“Abigail!” Laki whispers. “Go easy!”

“If I do that they’ll hear!” You shoot back.

“Well, make sure she doesn’t suffocate and die.” Laki urges Abigail.

“I’ll make sure she won’t suffocate, but I think she might die anyway. Her eyes are rolling in the back of her head.” How could anything feel so good that they’d act like Hana right now?

“Just keep her quiet, then!” Laki whispers loudly and worryingly.

Hana slowly calms down, after a long series of twitches. She ends up with her face on the ground, looking satisfied and drained, and her ass still hanging in the air as Herb finally pulls out. His terrifying, ‘magic’ dick almost makes you hide behind Laki.

Finally. It’s over. You push yourself up and-

Holy frig you’re wet!

You pick up the paper towel roll and hot Hana and Herb a few times each. “Clearn yourselves up, you filthy animals!”

You march to the bathroom. You need to follow your own advice. You splash some water on your face, do some other cleaning up, and take a good long look in the mirror. Have you been fooling yourself? Are you really a principled girl, or are you just terrified of dicks? Isn’t it reasonable to be scared after you just saw two perfectly smart, capable girls get destroyed like that? You’d accuse them of faking if it weren’t for Gardevoir’s reactions sometimes.

You splash some more. No. You’re not scared. Just because that ended up not seeming so gross doesn’t mean you’re lewd, either. You’re just human.

Unlike Herb.

Ah. That’s not fair. He’s human too. He’s a nice guy and you just got a little worked up. You even teased him before at your house. If he was some sex fiend he totally would have done something to you by now.

...unless you’re not attractive. Does he have a thing for Loanans? Are you too flat? Is your butt too small? You pose in the mirror a bit. What about your face? There are shadows under your eyes, but that’s just from staying up late, right? Ew, is that how your smile looks?

There’s a light tap at the door. You answer it, finding Hana, thankfully clothed, standing by the door.

She avoids eye contact “I didn’t mean to rush you. Are you done?”

“Yeah.” You step aside, giving her room to pass.

“T-thanks. Umm. Sorry. I guess we lost control there for a bit.”

You stretch. You’re tired of being the bad guy tonight. “Well, Herb was pretty drunk. Don’t know what was wrong with you and Laki, initiating that whole thing.”

She plays with her hair. “Heh. Yeah.”

“Hana?”

“Yup?” She spins around. Her tone is chipper but she looks pretty self-conscious now.

“Is it really that good?”

She hesitates before answering. You can see her working to find a way to express it, and the little aha moment in her head with it hits her. “It is with Herb.

“THAT good?”

“THAT good.” She gushes a little. “But I think...”

“What?”

“Well, it’s going to sound silly. I don’t think it’s Herb. I mean, I do! But, that only goes so far, I think. It’s the connection. It’s the way we feel about each other. Even if he didn’t ‘rock mah bod’-”

“Don’t do voices.” You interrupt.

“Uh, Right. Um, even if the, uh, lovemaking wasn’t that good physically, it’s the emotions he makes me feel that make it worth it. I know that the Meowth is sort of out of the bag about my... needs, so that sounds silly coming from me, but-”

“That doesn’t sound silly at all.” You smile, despite yourself. “I get what you’re trying to say, even if you suck at saying it.”

She hesitates again, playing with her hair and looking down. “Are you mad at me?”

“Nah.” You sort of lie.

“Oh. Well, I wouldn’t blame you if you were.” She tells you. “You’ve been a really good friend. I really appreciate everything you’ve done. And, I’m sorry for taking you for granted tonight.” She even bows a little.

“I...jeez. It wasn’t that big of a deal.” You look away. “But thanks, I guess. No problem. I guess you’re an okay friend too. You can take banter, at least.”

She’s still standing there.

“Something else you wanted to say?” You ask.

She looks really nervous now. “Well, umm. You were asking about how good it was so...if you ever want to join in I can talk to the others and see how they-”

“EW!” You try to push her into the bathroom. Her body has some give but her legs make her immovable. You give up, quickly. “Go clean up, pervert!”

Hana turns around, but she stops. “...I didn’t hear a no.” She dares to mumble, trying her best to sound smug. She just looks goofy.

“I’m not that type of girl!” You push on her again. She tries to say something, which could be an awkward apology or her rephrasing her pitch. Either way you don’t need it. “Lalalala not listening! I’m going to bed now!”

She relents and goes away with a mix of awkwardness and happiness. She’s still got a lot of that afterglow.

You head back to living room, seeing Herb and Laki fast asleep. Laki looks, sleeping without snoring for once. Herb looks like a little cherub or something. Well, maybe with a bit of a more manly jawline. You’re still ticked at them, but now it’s a low simmer instead of a big flame.

You lie down and pull up the blanket to your face. Your hands find their way between your knees for warmth; a sleeping habit you developed thanks to your crappy house and crappy blankets. You look at Herb and Laki one last time before closing your eyes.

That Hana has some crazy ideas.