KEVIN FLIES PAST THE SCREEN'S FRAME - A SECOND OR SO LATER, HE COMES BACK INTO FRAME.

KEVIN: Oh - hey, didn't see ya there. You're probably wondering what's goin' on here, in the middle of the sky, during a huge superhero fight.

KEVIN'S HERO PARTNER(?), TRAVIS, FLIES ACROSS THE FRAME.

TRAVIS: You mean other than fiery death?

KEVIN: Well, duh. Anyway, this is a pretty common occurrence here in Charm City. You know, that place in the overhead shot? Fireball-laced villains, superheros that wear glasses, it's all part of the city's package.

TRAVIS: The city's package?

KEVIN: Look, man, I'm trying.

TRAVIS: How about you try harder?

KEVIN SIGHS.

KEVIN: This is our third week on city patrol, after my dad's retirement. He watched over this city for four decades, which gave him no time to train his son. That's me. Now, I would like to tell you more - I really would - but, I kinda have a train to catch.

KEVIN LITERALLY CATCHES A TRAIN BEFORE IT HITS THE GROUND, SKIDDING QUITE A BIT BEFORE STOPPING ENTIRELY. SUDDENLY, A BRUNETTE WOMAN KNOCKS ON ONE OF THE TRAIN WINDOWS.

EMILY LOCKE: Um, hello?

KEVIN LOOKS INTO THE WINDOW.

EMILY: Hi. Any chance of putting us back on the track?

KEVIN DROPS THE TRAIN AND AVOIDS A FLAMEBALL HEADED AT HIM.

EMILY: M'kay, gonna take that as a no.

KEVIN BLOWS OUT A CHUNK OF ICE, ENCASING THE VILLIAN THEY ARE CHASING. HE DROPS TO THE GROUND - KEVIN AND TRAVIS FOLLOW HIM DOWN THERE. AS THEY LAND, PUNS ENSUE.

KEVIN: Ice to meet you.. have we met before?

TRAVIS: You better chill out with those puns, this is snow laughing matter.

KEVIN: Sorry, man, I just can't alp myself.

TRAVIS: Quit walking in a winter pun-derland.

KEVIN: Don't give me the cold shoulde- wait, didn't we have a villian in the ice?

PAN OVER TO THE ICE; THE VILLIAN IS GONE.

TRAVIS: Ya see, this is why we can't have fun.

ANOTHER HERO ON THEIR TEAM, CLAIRE (THE WALLABY WONDER) HITS HIM WITH A POWERFUL BOOMERANG, SENDING HIM FLYING AWAY AT INCREDIBLE SPEEDS.

KEVIN: Thanks, Wallaby Wonder!

CLAIRE: Please don't call me that - it was funny the first time, but now, it's just painful.

KEVIN: Then, why'd you keep it?

CLAIRE: Because, then I'd have to think up something else, and... ehhhh... I'm lazy.

TRAVIS: We could tell, after missing almost the entire fight.

AS THE THREE LAND ON THE GROUND, A FEW CITIZENS APPLAUD THEM. MOST BOO, INSTEAD.

KEVIN: Why did they come here just to boo us?

TRAVIS: Apparently, we're THAT hated.

THEY WALK AROUND A CROWD, WHO GIVE THEM VARIED LOOKS OF DISAPPOINTMENT.

EMILY: Hey, wait a minute!

THE BRUNETTE FROM THE TRAIN PUSHES HER WAY THROUGH THE CROWD.

EMILY: Are we gonna let these these freaks of nature keep doing this?

CLAIRE: Hey! We're prefer the term, "normality impaired".

TRAVIS: Who are you, anyway?

EMILY: Emily Locke - I'm a claims adjuster for Retcon Insurance.

TRAVIS: The company who cleans up all our mistakes?

EMILY: Well, we're not your personal janitors, but, yeah, that's us.

CLAIRE: Yeah, thanks for doing that, by the way - 'cause we really suck at this "superhero" thing.

EMILY: Yeah, we can tell - our entire city is destroyed, and we're calling this a good thing?! You've been doing this for weeks now, and all it does is cause us trouble.

KEVIN: Hey, we're trying the best we can-

EMILY: Well, maybe you shouldn't try at all; you're doing more damage than anything els: Inna take some time for us to-

EMILY: No; enough is enough - we don't have the resources to keep rebuilding the town, and..

KEVIN FLIES AWAY FROM THE MASSACRE, FEELING SOMEWHAT DISCOURAGED. HE EVENTUALLY FLIES HOME (WHICH HE SHARES WITH CLAIRE AND TRAVIS), INTO HIS QUARTERS. HE LANDS IN BED, WHERE HIS DOG COMFORTS HIM.

KEVIN: Aw, thanks, Spike.. but, not even your slobbery face can get me out of my heroic duties. I mean, it's not like I can I just-

KEVIN'S EYES LIGHT UP, AND HE JUMPS OFF OF HIS BED.

KEVIN: What does everyone else do when they hate their job?

SPIKE LOOKS AT HIM, BLANK FACED.

KEVIN: Quit it! God, the answer was right in front of me this whole time!

SPIKE HOPS OFF THE BED, AND WALKS TOWARDS HIS DOGGY DOOR.

KEVIN: Hey, I am talking to you, mister!

SPIKE EXITS.

KEVIN: If you don't come back by the count of.. eh, forget it. Not like you can respond, anyway.

TRAVIS AND CLAIRE ENTER THEIR HOME.

TRAVIS: Yo, Coleslaw? You here?

SILENCE.

TRAVIS: Where is he?

CLAIRE: Is that a hypothetical question? Because, I haven't seen him since you have.

SPIKE COMES INTO THE ROOM, A LEASH IN HIS MOUTH.

CLAIRE: C'mon boy, I'll walk ya.

TRAVIS STOPS HER.

TRAVIS: Wait - doesn't Kevin walk him every day?

CLAIRE: So he's feeling a little down today, so what? I'll do it for him.

TRAVIS: He's never missed it before.. something's up, I can feel it.

CLAIRE: Are you sure you're not feeling the compressed air? I mean, we do live in the literal sky!

TRAVIS GOES UP TO KEVIN'S ROOM - MINUS HIS BED AND A FEW UNIMPORTANT POSSESSIONS, IT'S EMPTY. CLAIRE SHOWS UP SHORTLY AFTER.

CLAIRE: Is he doing renovating?

TRAVIS: Seems more like leaving, to me.

CLAIRE: I'll check the downstairs.

CLAIRE SPEEDS AWAY, AND IS BACK IN A FEW SECONDS.

CLAIRE: He's nowhere to be found, and neither is his stuff.

TRAVIS: I don't get it. Where would he have gone?

KEVIN APPEARS IN A CASUAL ORANGE SWEATER AND SWEATPANTS, RUSTLING HIS HAIR, IN FRONT OF A MIRROR.

KEVIN: Look out, world - Kevin Coleslaw has arrived... wait, no, I can do better, uhhh.. everyone's favorite side dish is here. Eh, forget it, I'm dropping the 'slaw.

ACT ONE CLOSE