ZackifrASS - Today at 1:18 PM
Alright, I would like to point out that I have not ignored you. In multiple occassions, I have acknowledged you in the Gracestuck chat, but not gone out of my way to speak with you. There's not a lot that needs to be said out of character because we're not that good of friends, so I don't see why we should be speaking that much either way. As I previously stated before, I only speak to people I'm really close with and everything. I literally only speak to three people unless someone comes to me. I do not see where you're getting this ignoring from because, as said before, you have said it once and I have the channel muted, as I have said in my intro post, so I don't see EVERYTHING.

As I have seen, you have mentioned it once and that was it. You went through Jam to come to me instead of asking me directly for a simple question as to if I wanted to join or not, so, if anything, it seems to me that you're avoiding me than anything, even when I came in to ask if you were okay or not during your moments when you left domstuck and all that so I don't see how you think that me accidentally ignoring you at a message that was sent at the same time as I sent a message and then looked away constitutes me as avoiding you.

gothbee - Today at 1:29 PM
I understand that you say that you are not ignoring me, but it FEELS like you are. I know that we are not good friends anymore and I have been WANTING to fix that for a while, but it feels as if you don't want that. You are giving the impression that you want nothing to do with me. I understand you missing things and I apologize for that, but you admitted to seeing my messages and didn't respond to it at all.

Yes, I went through Jam to talk to you because in all honesty, I am afraid to talk to you at this point. I was anxious. And I didn't ask Jam to send you a message, they offered because I was anxious to even message you when I have been feeling this way for a while. At first, I was fine with speaking with you but the anxiety grew over time when you talked to me less and less and because of past things. I am not trying to avoid you, but at this point it seems like I have to because I feel as if you are ignoring me and avoiding me. When you asked if I was okay, I gave you simple answers because I was still in my depressed mode and feeling awful. And getting a message from someone that doesn't talk to you often? It spooked me. When someone messages me and they don't talk to me? And I already think that they hate me/avoiding me? Of course I am going to be afraid. Of course I am going to hide.

I just want to stop feeling this way and settle this. I am tired of this. I want us to be able to be in a server and actually talk once more cause I do miss that, believe it or not. You did used to talk to me as often as any of your close friends. And I would love to get that back. But if you are not willing to, then by all means TELL me so I can know what to do at this point.

ZackifrASS - Today at 1:57 PM
I was going to respond. That's what the 'Was this about me' thing was about because I was going to talk to you about it. However, your short responses gave me the impression that you didn't want to speak with me in the past, and even when i came into the server, your answers were short while everybody else you were estatic about. I'm not holding onto past things, but you being evasive and short makes it seem like to me that there's no interest in talkign with me. I'm not about to be the reason you're constantly shaken. You make it sound like I've done something to hurt you and I'm not about to go down a road like that again. We settled before that the past was the past, but now you're bringing it up like we're still walking on eggshells.

I can choose who I wish to speak with and not to speak with and we don't HAVE to be friends in order to be in a server if everytime I talk to you, I spook you. People change feelings change.

gothbee - Today at 2:12 PM
I do not want to be spooked anymore. I want it to be done and over with. And If it means I have to face my fears of paranoia then so be it. I am not saying that you are the reason that I am constantly shaken. I am saying that the actions that I am seeing is making me nervous and shaken. I want to talk to you. I really do. But it's my stupid paranoia and anxiousness that is getting in the way of that. I want this feeling of paranoia to go away. I am not trying to make it sound like you did something wrong. I just feel as if it's happening and talking with you about this so it can ease my state of mind that the voices have warped for me. I didn't know if we settled on what past was the past cause you never responded to me? So I didn't know. So paranoia and anxiety filled in the blanks, but if it is then I apologize for that.
Basically this whole thing is mostly my anxiety and paranoia making it worse than it needs to be and I apologize for that. I have no excuse for it.

All I am asking is if we can talk like we used to. Not right away of course. Cause who can do that? What I am asking is if we can talk. Such as starting with this relationship thing that I seriously need to get done cause I wasn't expecting all this to be this long winded.
I probably worded this wrong because I am not good with words.

ZackifrASS - Today at 2:43 PM
I don't dwell on the past when it was far away? like you can't do shit about the past so there's no point whatsoever to keep bringing it up when it's done. Like, yeah, you can talk about it and we can dread on the emotions that were there, but that's not gonna change what's happened. I just don't like talking to people anymore and while I might have in the past, there were things that happened between us that made me not want to talk to you then. I'm not saying i don't now but I just don't like talking to people as often as I used to unless there's a reason, which could sound selfish, but that's just how I've grown.

gothbee - Today at 2:56 PM
Sigh.
If we cannot talk like we used to, that is fine with me. If you have changed from that, cool. But we do have a reason to speak with each other right now in this moment. Because our characters talked/have talked/will talk, I would like to have conversations about said characters and such and share things about it. Is that alright with you? Again, need to discuss their friendship.
Or anything that happens in the future if there is any.

ZackifrASS - Today at 4:48 PM
I mean they can keep what they had before?

gothbee - Today at 4:50 PM
Okay.
But what about future stuff for later? Will that be talked about?

ZackifrASS - Today at 4:50 PM
Yeah, future stuff can be talked about.
Like I'm not saying "don't talk to me," if that's what you're implimenting?
if things happen between them, things happen between them

gothbee - Today at 4:52 PM
I just rather have communication with my partners for potential future stuff.

ZackifrASS - Today at 4:53 PM
Like I said, I'm not saying 'i don't want y ou to talk to me about future things'

gothbee - Today at 4:55 PM
I am just trying to understand is all.
But you will not talk to me outside of that?

ZackifrASS - Today at 4:57 PM
If I don't have a reason to, I won't. It's nothing to do with you but I don't prefer conversations that seem forced? and that's what i feel it would be.

gothbee - Today at 4:57 PM
I understand.