Chapter 10: Patience with the Lamp Lit

Chapter 10:  Patience with the Lamp Lit

"Well, how about here?"

I stare at her for a moment, processing what she just said.  Stay here?  I mean, if no one else notices her then I guess it wouldn't-
"No."  No, that would be awful.  Sort of horrifying, too.  "Staying somewhere when no one else can see you is just," I try to think of a good word, but my vocabulary fails me.  It's just demented.  Standing alone in a crowd.  "It's bad enough that you lost your home; to be completely ignored-"
"Val," she interrupts my train of thought with an amused expression, "I don't intend to spend eternity in your house."
Oh.  Right.  Obviously.
"Besides, this house is already one too full, isn't it?  With the source of your suffering, no less."
For a moment, it seems odd that she'd call her that.  "She's never injured me.  I have you to thank for that."
She looks slightly away, as though focused on something hovering over my shoulder.  "Does her intent mean nothing?"
"Do her circumstances?"  Wow, I'm actually slipping into a conversation of sorts.  It even makes sense.

At least, it does to me.  Cami seems as confused as she's ever been.  "Then are you really saying that you're content with how things are now?"
Okay, now I think I'm starting to lose track of the topic again.  "Well, for now.  If she isn't gone in a week I'm probably going to get a room at a hotel.  I don't trust her to respect my door when the full moon comes around again."
She pauses again, confused by my answer.  After a moment she shakes her head, "And what of your sisters?  I can see your discomfort written plain on your soul."

Oh.  Well, no, I guess I'm not "content" with how things are going there, but it's fine for now.  Lythalia's doing what she always does, and not even that; she hasn't bothered me all week.  Evette is either messing with me because she thought she could, or she's spreading her net as wide as possible for a husband.  She isn't always going to have me around for energy, and even if she did she'd still want a husband as soon as possible.  That's just natural.  Safiya's the only real problem, and that's just because I've never had any idea how to deal with her.  She's always been confusing, but I know she'll get the hint if I make things clear.

So it's fine.

"Val, you're going to have to leave them.  All of them."  Her expression grows slowly more pained as she continues, "It isn't your fault.  It is simply the cruel whims of fortune."
The sudden shift in conversation is jarring to say the least.  I'm not sure where she came from or where she's going.  I stare at her, waiting for some explanation.
"Your desires will only bring them suffering, and their desires are inimical to your own.  It has always been folly to raise humans with monsters, and always will be.  Your two natures simply cannot coexist."

"We're coexisting just fine.  They'll find men of their own and then this won't even be a conversation."
"They have already chosen.  They won't change simply because you have asked."
She doesn't understand.  I don't expect her to; who knows what she was taught about mamono aside from how to kill them.  She hasn't lived with them or talked with them like I have.  "I'll explain it to them.  They're smarter than you think they are."  She's just presuming everything you'd expect and completely ignoring everything that's actually happening.
"It has nothing to do with intelligence or wisdom; they're driven by the whole of their being."  She stops for a moment before insisting again, "It's no one's fault."

"It's fine."  She starts to say something else, but I'm too tired of this to continue.  "It's fine," I interrupt.  "It's going to turn out all right.  Trust me; I know what I'm doing."
She simply stares for a moment, and then she smiles as though nothing in the world had ever troubled her.  She laughs lightly, "Very well then.  I will place my trust in this assurance you've made."
Why does it feel like I've signed some sort of contract?

"For now, however, you should eat.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know."  And with that weird, awkwardly delivered line, she fades into the rays of the morning sun slipping through my window.

I'm briefly tempted to steel plate it like I did my door.  I won't, though.  She's probably the single least problematic visitor I get.  Definitely the least stressful.  Besides, I owe her a place to watch TV at the very least.  I owe her a lot more.

I couldn't hope to repay her for what she's done for me.

    ---

"You were talking to her again."  Cara waits for a second before adding, helpfully, "The cat."
I look back from the window.  It's for the best; I don't really want to stare at a gorgeous cathedral's broken remains.
I guess I knew that she would notice, but I never really thought about it.  "Yeah."  There's not much else to say.  Lying would be pointless.
"Do you like her?"
Yeah, that's a great question to spring on someone at eight in the morning.  "No."
"Then why?"  Her voice is flat.  It's weird that she isn't either annoyed or playful.
"Because I don't dislike her, either."

There's a pause, filled only with the squeaks and bumps of the bus and the background chatter of a dozen other conversations.  "She tried to rape you, too."  Again, she isn't amused or upset.
"That seems to be how I meet new people these days."
"It's not funny."  Now she's upset.
"It's fine."
She's even more upset when she bites back, "No it isn't."

We spend part of the ride in silence with her chewing on her lip and staring off into the distance.  I don't want to leave things like this, but I don't really have anything to cheer her up with, either.  "What do you think I should do?"
She takes a moment to frown in thought before answering "Make them all go away."
Yeah, that's one way of dealing with it.  At least, it would fix two of my problems.  No, rather, it would fix one of them.  I can't really force Rina to do anything.  And hells, if I did something to force Tish out of the house would I feel any better right now?

"That wouldn't make things any better for me."
She waits a moment before asking, annoyed, "Well what about the rest of us?"
"Is she bothering you?  Tish, I mean."
She slumps against my arm.  "They're both annoying.  Everything smells weird now.  The house smells like her, and you smell like that girl's trying to mark you."

I guess that explains a lot for her.  I had originally planned to get Rina to leave me alone, but there were some things that I had to know.  Now, though, I can just tell her to leave.  It's just a matter of making it clear that she won't end up with me, regardless what she does.  Tish, though, is her own issue.  "Do you really want Tish kicked out?"
"Yes," she answers immediately.  Her lips pull back slightly, "She tried to hurt you."

Okay, that's fair.  And there's a way we can both be happier here.  I smile as I think about it, "All right, tell you what.  We'll go talk with dad, and make it clear that she needs a new place to stay before the full moon.  That way we'll both sleep easier.  All right?"
She starts to perk up at that, but then slumps back over.  "That'll be a whole week, though."
All right, I'm getting closer here.  "Hey, we should have a rematch tomorrow."
She turns and looks straight at me, smiling with a predatory gleam in her eye.  "No holding back?"
I'm going to regret this.  "No holding back."

I regret this.

---

"Hey, who's the new girl?"
"The ghost?  She's following Murph."
"No no, the bat."
"Dunno.  The lizard's new, too."
"I think I saw her a while back."
"That might've been a different one.  We got Wil and Sonya in our class."
"Who're they watching?"
"Wil and Sonya?"
"No, the girls in the stands."
"Well, the bat's probably not watching anybody."
"Man, you know what I mean."
"Dunno.  Go ask 'em."

"Hey."
I'm distracted from listening in on the random conversation by Luke.  He looks like he usually does after a game: like he fell in a lake.  "Hey."
He sits down, leaning forward to let the sweat drip off.  "Heard you got a new roomie."
"Lies and slander."
He takes a long pull from his drink before pausing to breathe again.  "Heard it's Tish."

"It feels kinda weird when they just stare."
"Would you rather have catcalls?"
"No."
"Because we could play a shirts-and-skins game."
"How good do you think her hearing is?"
"Well, Ghosts don't technically have ears, so who knows?"
"No no, the bat."
"Dunno.  Go ask 'er."

When he finally caught his breath enough to stop breathing through his mouth, he dredges the conversation back up.  "She's friends with one of your sisters, isn't she?"
"Yeah."
"That sucks."
"Yeah."
"Should've hit her harder."

"They look annoyed."
"Maybe it's 'cause you keep starin' at them."
"You're the one staring."
"I'm not the one with a Lamia.  I'm surprised she hasn't gouged your eyes out yet."
"Seriously though, what's their deal?"
"Dunno.  Go ask 'em."

He randomly starts up again, "And the fuck's with your parents, letting her stay there?"
"It's fine."  I don't want to go into details with him.
"The hells it is.  That's fucked, man - making you stay in the same house with her."
"They aren't making me."
He stares at me for a moment like I'm crazy.  "Should've hit her harder."
I stay silent again.  He looks away, seeming annoyed.

"Seriously, they both look really annoyed."
"Seriously, stop starin' at them."
"Man, shut up, I'm just curious."
"Be curious about somethin' that won't stab you."
"Hey, sorry, I didn't know one of 'em was your girlfriend."
"Dude, shut up.  Liz'd eat me if she heard you."
"Hah-ow!"
"No, seriously, what d'you think the pedipalps are for?"
"I dunno, man.  Fucking?"
"Isn't that what everything is for?"
"Man, you're an asshole."
"No shit."
"Seriously though, why d'you think they look so pissed?
"Dunno.  Go a-ow!"
"Man, stop sayin' that.  You go ask them."

Luke elbows me in the arm.  "Hey, why're you sitting out so much this game?  You didn't get tail, did you?"
"No, I'm just conserving energy.  Tomorrow's gonna be a long day."
The looks off, down the field for a moment before turning back.  "Seriously though, what's gotten into you?"
"Nothing, I just got a long day ahead of me."
"Not that, Tish.  Why're you putting up with her?  You know what she did."
"Yeah, I do."
"So why're you putting up with her shit?"
"I'm not putting up with anything.  She's just staying in the guest room.  It's like she's hardly there."

"I don't know how you can stand that."
"Her mom kicked her out.  That's just wrong."
"It's what she deserves."
It's not what anyone deserves.  I don't tell him that, though.  There's no point in arguing about it.  When he finally heads back out it's with a frustrated huff.

---

There's a two-tailed cat following me home.

The leaves are starting to fall out, leaving half of the trees festively decorated with a dozen shades of brown, yellow, red, and occasionally still green, and the other half looking like they've died.  It's the shift from the beautiful part of autumn to the part that just looks like a mismatched pseudo-winter.  It's a change accompanied by a shift in the weather from the pleasant cool that keeps soccer from getting unbearable to the actual, uncomfortable cold.  Well, uncomfortable for most people.

"You're ignoring me."
"You're following me.  That makes us even."

Still, it's not too bad.  The air is crisp and dry, so it's hard to get really sweaty.  Well, for me, at least.  I don't seem to sweat as easily as most of the guys on the team.  Maybe I'm just used to playing a more difficult game.  Oh man, why'd I promise a serious game tomorrow?  I think I'm still sore from the last one.  It's bad enough when she's just messing around.

There's a thump as something practically weightless leans against my side.  "I forgot about something earlier."
I pull my arm away and take a step away from her.  "What's that?"
I look over and down to see her staring back at me, angry and confused.  "What was that?"
"That's my question."
She grabs my hand and stops.  For a split second I consider the option of continuing and dragging her behind me, but my body decides before my mind does.  A few seconds pass where we simply stare at each other, wondering what to do.

"What happened to last night," she starts.  "Didn't things go well?"  She's trying to sound strong, but beneath that there's a pleading quality to her voice.
"No."
"What do you mean, 'no?"
I pull my hand back and turn to face her straight-on.  "I mean that I'm not interested, and everytime I think about you I think that I should've made that clearer the last time."

"I know that."  She laughs bitterly, "You've made that clear enough."
Oh hells, don't cry.  That I couldn't ignore a crying cat is what got me into this in the first place.
"But I have my pride."  Her eyes stay dry, but not without some obvious depression.  "I've got my pride, so I'm going to try and win you over, and that's just how things are going to be."  She punctuates the somehow serious statement with a nod, as though to reinforce it.
"Well, I guess the least I can do is be seduced, then."  I'm rewarded with the flicker of a smile.  "You know I'm still just gonna run, right?"
"Yeah, but 'any man worth having runs,' they say."

I hate that phrase so much.

"So what'd you forget," I ask, trying to find something else to talk about.
"What?"  She stares at me, then shakes her head, "Oh, right.  Pout."
"I'd rather not."
"No, that's- no, P-A-U-T.  You wanted to know about replacements for spirit energy, right?  Well, paut is one of them.  It was used in the pharaonic times to store magic in a physical form."  She starts to pick up speed as she falls into her spiel.  "It was completely replaced by manastones, though, since creating it requires some weird items, like alchemically treated silver and ibis blood."
I can't help but laugh.  "Well, that's good to know.  Now I just need some freshly-squeezed ibis and I'll be on my way."
"Hey, you asked."

Yeah, true.  "Thanks anyway."
She steps forward, now smiling, "But that won't really help you.  What you need is to know more about magic in general, right?"
Possibly?  Maybe.  "No idea.  Could it help?"
She frowns and smiles, both, in incredulity.  "What do you mean, 'could it help?'  It's magic."
Fair enough.  "And I'm guessing you're offering to teach me?"
"Same price as before.  There's a place down the road that sells fish.  Interested?"
"No."  She sighs at me.  I sigh at myself.  "Maybe.  Not today, though.  Maybe tomorrow.  I might as well deal with this then, too."  I sigh again, "Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day."

I'm briefly tempted to look online for an ibis.  It's a type of bird, isn't it?

No, I'm not doing that.

---

There's a knock on my door.  I figured there probably would be with the way the temperature's dropping, which is part of my problem.  "Who is it?"
"It's me."  My chest tightens when I hear Safi's high-pitched, breathy voice.
I make a show of groaning into a pillow, "Do you think you could just use a space heater tonight?  I've been feeling off all night."
There's a pause.  "I don't mind.  Please?  It's cold out."  She does something when she talks - I'm not sure if it's a skill or just how her voice works - where it doesn't sound like whining but at the same time it's like she could start crying at any moment.  There's no defense against it.

I open the door and cough out, "Fine, just - no talking tonight.  Throat's killing me."
"Oh, um, all right."  The audible disappointment just proves me right.  Were you really going to wait until we were wrapped up before telling me, Safi?  That's just mean.  At least leave a guy an escape route.  Was that your idea, or mom's?  Either way, someone in my house is much more cutthroat than I'd thought.  Oh well, tomorrow I can lay things down plain.  Or lie through my teeth.  Either works.

At least this way it's still comfortable being held in scales.