Getting lucky tonight (twix(you), short, comedy, lewd)

Oct 6th, 2018
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  1. "You? A pirate?"
  2. >"What? What's wrong with that?"
  3. "Sorry twibtwab, you're a lot of things, but pirate material? Nope,"
  4. >scrunched muzzle
  5. >"Why not?!"
  6. "Because to be a good pirate you have to be evil and mean and merciless and greedy, and you have to add 'yarr' to every sentences, and most important of all, you gotta curse all the time,"
  7. >"So?"
  8. >you give her your best poker face
  9. "So, I can't see you acting like that at all, why not try something cute like, I don't know, a bumblebee or maybe... a clown?"
  10. >"A clown?"
  11. >it's her turn to raise an eyebrow
  12. "Oh no, not just any clown, I bet you'd make a fantastic Harley Quinn, I bet you could even do the voice right and all!"
  13. >"Anon, I am not going to disguise myself as a clown for Nightmare night!"
  14. >and there goes your dreams of seeing her wearing some pantyhose
  15. >was worth a shot
  16. "Okay, okay! So what about that old Athena costume?"
  17. >"Athena?"
  18. "You know, the golden armor looking one? The one you were wearing when we met that weird salesman, I mean salesgoat or whatever?"
  19. >"Hmm..."
  20. "He tried to sell us those weird smelling potions, saying they'd do all kinds of things like giving you bigger tits and giving me--"
  21. >"Oh that one!"
  22. "Yeah yeah! And then he ran away the second he realized you were a princess! Hahahaa I'll never forget that face,"
  23. >"Heheh, and he even left his cart and all his merchandise too,"
  24. "Gotta admit tho, that stuff was legit, that potion really turned Ponka into a dude,"
  25. >"Dangerous, you mean?! I still can't believe you guys put her up to this! It could've been really bad!"
  26. "Oh come on twiggy, it was fine,"
  27. >"Lucky for you it was!"
  28. "Hey, you're the responsible one, you were supposed to watch over us!"
  29. >"But I--"
  30. "Exactly! It was your fault for drinking all that cider prior,"
  32. >"But it was you--"
  33. "Okay, maybe I kinda did wanted to get you drunk, it's not every day I can see my mare's plot swinging in such an outfit, so if there was a chance I could get lucky that night, no way in hell I'd stop because of the 'we need a chapperone' excuse,"
  34. >"Flattery isn't going to work this time, mister--"
  35. "So, about that costume?"
  36. >she harrumphs, clearly bothered by your change of subject, but drops it nonetheless
  37. >all according to keikaku
  38. >"It's called an ancient Roman ceremonial armor,"
  39. "How the hell is it still called Roman in horseland?!"
  40. >you'll never understand these horses
  41. >"Funny you'd ask, I was just reading a book about it the other day! It's actually because [spoiler]the writer couldn't find a horsepun with Roman![/spoiler]"
  42. "Huh, who would've thought,"
  43. >"I know, right?!"
  44. "Soooo... you could still use it, right?"
  45. >"So you can 'get lucky' again?"
  46. >damn she's good
  47. >plan B
  48. "Hey, you can't blame me for trying, you have no idea how good you look in that thing,"
  49. >it might be hard to discern to the inexperienced eye, but you know your mare enough to see the conflict on her face, trying her hardest to look impervious to your words, yet the smallest of a smile appearing on the corner of her lips is all you needed to detect
  50. >worse yet, it takes her a couple seconds to respond
  51. >you really must've hit her har--
  52. >"I can see you're trying really hard tonight,"
  53. >"But no, I'm not going to wear that costume again this year,"
  54. >awwwww
  55. >"Not at the party, at least, but if you behave tonight, maybe you could get lucky later?"
  56. >it doesn't take you a full second to react, your right arm shooting up and your back straightening to give her the best military salute you've ever given anyone
  57. "YES MA'AM, I swear I'll behave so I can get lucky tonight ma'am!"
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