(SCENE 1: Two guys driving down a road, a cop pulls them over.)

        (Officer Ronnie walks up to the car window murtting to himself)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
God I hate giraffes, always walking around thinking they are people. People are people, you're a giraffe.

        (Chris starts to get nervous)

                                         CHRIS:
Crap crap it's the cops! Oh nooo-

        (Frank interrupts Chris)

                                         FRANK:
Hang on man, I know how to handle cops.

        (Frank rolls the window down)

                                         FRANK:
What seems to be the officer problem?

        (Officer Ronnie looks intensly at the driver)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Do you have any idea how fast you were going si- "beat" Wait a minute did you say "officer problem"?

        (A confused Frank stumples to responsed)

                                         FRANK:
No, you said "officer problem", I said, ugh... Ummmm "beat" charade you are sir.

        (Officer Ronnie looks suspicously at Frank)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
License and registration please sir.

        (Frank promptley response with a slight happiness in his voice)

                                         FRANK:
Okay.

        (Pause for a few seconds. Officer Ronnie looks at Frank)

                                         Officer Ronnie:
Sir, license and reigration.

                                         FRANK:
Yeah? What about 'em?

        (Officer Ronnie gets annoyed)

                                         Officer Ronnie:
Sir, are you an idiot?!

                                         FRANK:
Umm, I don't think so. Let's see... my dads side is French and my mom is Russian; I guess there could be idiot in there somewhere.

        (Officer Ronnie gets extremely annoyed and takes out his ticket book)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

        (The passenger, Chris, interrupts Officer Ronnie as he goes to speak)

                                         CHRIS:
Definitely not faster than the speed of sound. At least "beat" I don't think so. Woah! Dude did we break the sound barrier? Bro, we're gonna be heros!

        (Officer Ronnie looks extremely confused)

                                         CHRIS (cont.)
We'll be famous like that rabbit and his cereal, you know Bugs Bunny.

        (Officer Ronnie goes to speak, but is interrupted by Frank)

                                         FRANK:
No bro, it's Daffy Duck you're thinking of; Bugs is the one with the mansion and pool of gold.

        (Officer Ronnie starts to get annoyed)

                                         CHRIS:
No, that's the one that lives in the tree house with the chipmunks and solves crime...

        (Officer Ronnie angerly interrupts Chris)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Listen, I don't give a shit which rabbit you are talking about; just "beat" get out of the car.

                                         CHRIS:
Woah dude, co-chill. Here take some of this memento mori.

        (Frank steps out of the car and closes the car door, Chris speaks almost as if he were about to pass out)

                                         CHRIS (cont.)
Oh man, don't go out there. The floors like lava.

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Sir, I am going to need you to follow my directions. Touch your nose with your finger.

                                         FRANK:
Woah wait, is this a test? If this is a test, just let me get a panthera 'cause like balance and stuff.

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Sir! Just do like so!

        (Officer Ronnie demonstrates how to do the test, by touching his nose with his finger)

                                         FRANK:
No way, that's impossible! I mean you can't just like touch something, what even is a thing anyway? Is it a house or a mouse?

        (Frank starts singing "Pigs (Three Different Ones)" by Pink Flyod at the top of his lunges)

                                         FRANK:
Big man, pig man! Haha charade you are!

        (Chris jumps out of the car and joins in with Frank at the top of his lungs and both start dancing to the beat)

                                         CHRIS AND FRANK:
Wooh! You well-heeled big wheel, haha charade you are!

        (Both Chris and Frank start to stumple over the words to the song, while still dancing. They confused the words of "Pigs (Three Different Ones)" with words from "Bring the Bo
ys Back Home" by Pink Floyd)

                                         CHRIS AND FRANK:
umm uhh, wrong do it again wrong do it again! If you don't eat your meat you can't have any putting! How can you have any putting if you don't eat your meat!? "beat" hey there whiteh
ouse, haha charade you are! You house proud town mouse, haha charade you are!

        (Chris and Frank start to stumple as they dance and sing while Officer Ronnie gets very annoyed)

                                         CHRIS AND FRANK:
You're trying to keep our feelings off the street!

        (Officer Ronnie gets too annoyed to keep calm)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
For the love god shut the hell up!

        (Both Chris and Frank stop dancing and begin mocking Officer Ronnie)

                                         FRANK:
Yeah Chris, shut up.

                                         CHRIS:
Yeah Frank!

                                         FRANK:
No 'cause he's talking you, you were singing Hotel California-

        (Frank looks at officer ronnie and shrugs)

                                         FRANK:
Clearly this man is isane sing Hotel California, right?

        (Officer Ronnie is starting to get enraged)

                                         CHRIS:
I don't even know a Hotel Cauliflower.

        (Frank and Chris start to bicker like childern)

                                         FRANK:
Yes you do.

                                         CHRIS:
Nu-huh!

                                         FRANK:
Yes you do yes you do, you were singing about pigs and houses and peoples and things; money and gold and diamond rings.

                                         CHRIS:
Not true not true!

        (Officer Ronnie snaps, he grabs both of Frank and Chris by the shoulder)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
I swear to god, if you two don't shut the hell up. I don't care about who sang what or why; just shut up! Morons. "beat" Stay here tweedle dee while I handle tweedle dumbass.

        (Officer Ronnie cuffs Frank, he walks him over to the curb on the side of the road. As Officer Ronnie goes to give Frank further instructions Chris walks over and interrupts
him)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Sit her-

                                         CHRIS:
I have to go to the bathroom.

        (Officer Ronnie turns around in amazement)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Then go, nothings stopping you!

                                         CHRIS:
I can't 'cause-

        (Officer Ronnie cuts him off)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Why? 'Cause what?!

                                         CHRIS:
I can't go in front cars.

                                         OFFICER RONNIE
What in the hell!?

I mean people I mean-

        (Frank interrupts Chris and starts to talk to Officer Ronnie)

                                         FRANK:
He has a shy blater problem!

        (A director walks into frame and slams down his copy of the script)

                                         DIRECTOR:
God dammit! it's not your line yet, now we have to reshoot the whole thing!

        (Stage hands come into frame and start setting up the props and fixing the scene to it's original state)

                                         OFFICER RONNIE:
Wait.. what the hell? This isn't a play, everyone stop and line up against the car!

        (Officer Ronnie stands confused and annoyed as the director walks over and re-posotions him in his car; then fantly Ronnie hears something)

                                         (Sence 2: A room with Chris and Ronnie sitting in chairs around a coffee table)

                                         CHRIS:
Ronnie, oh shit, you ok? C'mon man talk to me. You ok man?!

                                         RONNIE:
Woah... dude you have a shy blater problem?!

                                         CHRIS:
What are you talking about? Dude you scared me! You just took one and then passed out on my Frank Sinatra table, it was a custom order! What are you stup-

        (Ronnie cuts off Chris and jumps out of his chair)

                                         RONNIE:
No, it's all good. We'll keep going and making more scenes until we are washed up. We'll use a giraffe and get guest stars and then we'll sellout.

        (Ronnie grabs Chris and starts flailing around)

                                         RONNIE (cont.)
It'll be great! We'll get a Tony and after that we'll do a deal with AdultSwim. We'll be rich and then we'll really sellout and all of our fans will get pissed; but you know what? Sc
rew 'em Chris. 'Cause it's all about us, we'll merchandise and then we'll be huge. We'll be the biggest thing on the planet!

        (Ronnie stands with both arms up in the air in a V shape with a massive smile staring into the audience)

                                         RONNIE (cont.)
Good night everyone, I hope the twist wasn't too confusing. Thank you to all of our actors and the set designers, the horrible writing and to the teachers will who definitly write us
 up for this, it was a fun run while it lasted.

        (Chris looks concered and confused)

                                         CHRIS:
Who are you talking to?

        (Fade to black)