Dad replies

I didn’t get your text until 4:30 this morning because I silence my phone when I go to bed. So.. imagine my surprise when I get up to ready myself for another hard hot day at work, to find an attack from someone who purports to “Love me to death” about the mistakes I’ve made and what a shitty father I am.
First and foremost, understand this. Your mother left me and took you and everything in the house, not even a roll of toilet paper left for me when I got home from work. You were 18 months old I think. It was almost a year later before I saw you again. Your mother refused any visitation until we went to court for the divorce. I had ALREADY been paying child support for all that time by my own decision because you were my responsibility. I worked my ass off to pay $500/month to make sure you were taken care of and had no visitation whatsoever until a judge ordered it, and yes, I got behind a few times but I caught up every chance I got. By that time when I finally did get to bring you to my place you didn’t even want to come. Yes, you were a child and yes you by all rights, didn’t know me from Adam’s ass. Was that my fault? I don’t think so...  yeah I had a very serious drinking problem by then. My son had been taken from me by a woman I thought was my world and didn’t so much as even leave me a note as to where the hell she or you were. I lost my fucking mind. I drank myself into a stupor for months and cried millions of tears. I threatened suicide and murder and God knows what else. Then.. Peggy came into my life. She helped me with you as best as she could and we “sort of” bonded. Hell by this time you were 3 or almost 4. I was still drinking bad and a lot of times you didn’t want to even come see me because you were so much into your games that you didn’t want to leave your moms house because I didn’t have cable or internet or ability for you to have your games. And when you did come, you showed NO affection toward me at all. No hugs, no kisses no Dad I love and miss you. All you wanted was to go home. You have no idea how that broke my heart. As for the autism, ok... so you’ve had a rough go of it. We have all had rough childhoods... but you make the best of what shitty hand your delt and move on. I was molested, according to your mom so was she, kids are beaten and killed every day. So... I don’t think your life has been that horrible that you get a license to judge mine. The fact of the matter is, the STRUGGLE I was referring to is being a grown ass adult and having to work like a damn dog to pay bills and make sure there’s food to eat while at the same time the powers that be are telling you to stay home and self quarantine for some, in my point of view, very suspicious and probably government started “pandemic “ so that they can undermine a political head of state. Your so good at research, so research Bill Gates and Anthony Fauchi and see what kind of good human beings they are! They’re Globalists who want to reduce the world population by at least half or more for what? MONEY!! And they’re doing it! Right in front of us. What I said about you not knowing what struggling was about you not having ANY responsibility or anyone depending on you for shit. Yet you want to judge someone who makes a living by breaking his or her back daily to just make ends meet and be sure the people that depend on them are well taken care of. It didn’t have anything to do with your autism or whether or not I believed you are autistic or how or why I treated you, which by the way... the only times I “whipped your ass” was because you came home from school with notes about how you couldn’t keep your mouth shut in class or keep you hands to yourself. Bad grades never played a part in it. As a matter of fact, if I remember correctly, you made fairly decent grades except for a couple times but then you just quit and decided you were man enough and didn’t need school. How’s that goin for ya!?? No diploma no job. Plain and simple, just like I told you when you said you were quitting school. Grow up Aaron. Take responsibility for your own shitty mistakes and stop blaming your shitty father. This has been coming for years. I felt it coming for a long time. I knew you would blame me. So have it your way. I have been robbed of ANY relationship with either of my 2 sons for years. YEARS! Of my life. I finally have mended the relationship with Alan. If you can’t get past the shit that we’ve been put through, and I say WE, meaning me and you, then that’s on you. I’m leaving this in your hands. Do what you feel is best for you.