Hexual  whispers: Shes on a discord call with Lego.
Maraud  > Hexual: ew why? he's trash
Hexual  whispers: Isn't even really letting me talk atm.
Hexual  whispers: Shes been so weird tonight.
Maraud  > Hexual: howcome?
Hexual  whispers: How shes talking to other dudes?
Hexual  whispers: Like the Josh dude
Hexual  whispers: I didn't like the way he was talking to her
Hexual  whispers: and like she didn't see it.
Hexual  whispers: And she argues it.
Maraud  > Hexual: that guy's nothin tho. she invited me to PC with him and he's literally an ant.
Hexual  whispers: It was before.
Hexual  whispers: And after.
Maraud  > Hexual: he's fckin scared of me.
Hexual  whispers: She gave him her kik.
Hexual  whispers: After asking for his discord.
Maraud  > Hexual: I wouldn't worry about it, any dood who can't contend with me isn't a contender y'know?
Hexual  whispers: I get it.
Hexual  whispers: And now shes room hopping talking to dudes
Hexual  whispers: And shes got me all fucking jealous.
Hexual  whispers: Like, the way she talks to them?
Maraud  > Hexual: and ladies! and others. I getchu on the jealousy front, but it's nothing but drunken banter.
Hexual  whispers: I trust her, but I don't trust the other people.
Hexual  whispers: .-.
Hexual  whispers: And I'm third wheeling rn as shes talking to Lego.
Hexual  whispers: "Omg you have such a great voice, keep it"
Hexual  whispers: *Giggle Giggle Giggle between the two*
Hexual  whispers: E.E
Hexual  whispers: Another thing that gets me.
Maraud  > Hexual: LOL, he's a shithead, she knows it
Hexual  whispers: Is I commented on someone in a room she was looking at
Hexual  whispers: Littleism?
Hexual  whispers: And she said block her, never talk to her again.
Hexual  whispers: Cause of her experience with her?
Hexual  whispers: And I said the same thing about Will who came in here.
Hexual  whispers: And she said
Fif: YES'
Hexual  whispers: "Well I can't judge him if he hasn't done anything."
Hexual  whispers: And continues to talk to him after I said no.
Hexual  whispers: But she gets EXTREMELY
Hexual  whispers: upset with me if I ask why
Maraud: STOP TALKING TO DRIPPY
Maraud: TAKE YUR TURN
Hexual  whispers: and then tells me
Hexual  whispers: "I'm making excuses"
Maraud: HE'S SICK
Hexual  whispers: for them or supporting them.
Fif: LLOOOOOL HOW DID YOU KNOW
Hexual  whispers: Like when she made me unfriend Marie earlier.
Hexual  whispers: And when I asked why
Hexual  whispers: she got so mad at me.
Maraud: YOU SAID HE INVITED YOU
Maraud: DID YOUNOT
Hexual  whispers: And asked why do I have to support her.
Hexual  whispers: Like this and serveral other things completely confuse me.
Maraud: WAIT R U STILL TALKING TO HIM? LOL
Fif: \on discord yes
Hexual  whispers: And I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.
Maraud: EW WHY!
Maraud: KILL
Fif: he has a cool accent
Hexual  whispers: ............
Hexual  whispers: While I just sit here as a third wheel.
Hexual  whispers: On call with her.
Maraud  > Hexual: altho to be fair she's definitely been third wheel on call with you, yes?
Hexual  whispers: Work related instances.
Maraud  > Hexual: or gaming stuff?
Hexual  whispers: Gaming I tell her, and she knows and has a say.
Hexual  whispers: Work, I tell her and she also has a say, and I speed through it.
Maraud  > Hexual: tru, but she can't help but feel third-wheeled when you're focusing more on something + someone else
Hexual  whispers: What I'm getting at is this is OUR night?
Hexual  whispers: Her bestie time with you.
Hexual  whispers: And,
Hexual  whispers: talking with me.
Hexual  whispers: I've let NOTHING disturb that when It comes time for it, on anything. Instances happen on both fronts.
Maraud  > Hexual: Imean, obvs I'd rather she pay more attention to us than to some irrelevant third party too, but if booze is convincing her to talk to some random fuckwad, more power to her
Maraud  > Hexual: he's literally worthless.
Maraud: OOP reject
Maraud: too many n's uwu
Hexual  whispers: Like rn
Hexual  whispers: She started calling me a little bitch over something and saying I'll get over something.
Hexual  whispers: Like, I said "hey, don't talk to me like that."
Hexual  whispers: Cause I said I wont.
Maraud  > Hexual: ima blame inkydick for that, he's been calling me little bitch as a troll recently and she prolly caught on LOL
Hexual  whispers: Cause I didn't appreciate it
Hexual  whispers: and she just kept laughing and pushing it
Hexual  whispers: I've been doing some real self controling
Hexual  whispers: I tried to stay calm and she kept pushing me
Hexual  whispers: I told her stop
Hexual  whispers: Multiple times
Hexual  whispers: and she kept saying it.
Hexual  whispers: Then I told her to stop the conversation about it, move on
Hexual  whispers: and she didn't.
Hexual  whispers: And she wants to laugh like its all games
Hexual  whispers: and then turns it on me
Hexual  whispers: as if I'm the one not letting it go
Hexual  whispers: Like a mirror image of what happened a few days aho.
Maraud  > Hexual: ditch till she chills? that's what I'd do
Hexual  whispers: And, I'm sorry for calling you she a lot.
Hexual  whispers: I really really am.
Hexual  whispers: Idk what it is, but it's not sticking right in my head.
Hexual  whispers: But I catch myself when I do.
Hexual  whispers: And Ale gets pissed at me, and every right to. and as do you.
Maraud  > Hexual: s'okay! you'll get used to it, it's an adjustment period for literally most people
Hexual  whispers: I'm not saying its an excuse, but I did think you were a woman when I first met you, till Ale corrected me.
Hexual  whispers: I was born and raised to nothing but the Army.
Hexual  whispers: And its only BOY or girl.
Hexual  whispers: And looks are everything that're defined.
Hexual  whispers: So When i see the avi, it clicks.
Hexual  whispers: And its such a touchie subject to talk about with Ale.
Hexual  whispers: I see how yall joke around about things.
Hexual  whispers: On subjects.
Maraud  > Hexual: Ihearu, androgyny's confusing till you've encountered it.
Hexual  whispers: Indeed, so I'm trying.
Hexual  whispers: I honestly am.
Hexual  whispers: And Ale is drilling it into me hardcore.
Hexual  whispers: And, I don't support Rape of any kind.
Hexual  whispers: Not even for the Marlina? Martinez thing?
Hexual  whispers: Yall joke in whispers, and when other people are around about stuff, even touchie things. and the moment I do with Ale she gets it stuck in her head.
Hexual  whispers: Even yesterday when she asked me who I voted for, and I said no one and she called it a waste.
Hexual  whispers: Like, that was just.. like. That's cool.. the one thing you never wanna talk about is politics.
Hexual  whispers: And it erked me so bad. Cause it's like she talks about all the time how it's peoples lives, and she doesn't judge them for it.
Hexual  whispers: But yet I feel judged on everything I say, outside the realm of the relationship as far as topics go.
Hexual  whispers: I have tolerance, and my own beliefs.
Hexual  whispers: Yes, I joke about it. But I see both sides, and listen. She, doesn't want to listen to any of it on anything. but when she wants to be heard
Hexual  whispers: cause the way she thinks is 100% right.
Hexual  whispers: to her, is solid and if I think different I'm some kinda like.
Hexual  whispers: Idk. I feel I get looked at weird.
Hexual  whispers: Like again yesterday that feminist thing?
Hexual  whispers: I talked about, how I support it but not the extremeists.
Hexual  whispers: How they slander it and set it back?
Hexual  whispers: And she got so pissed at me
Hexual  whispers: "What extremeist"
Hexual  whispers: Like, I said about it is advocating for change and everything and thats completely respectable and it's sad it's not being more recognized and understood.
Hexual  whispers: And she got even more mad?
Hexual  whispers: Like.
anghelkiller has joined the chat
Hexual  whispers: I commented on that yesterday to her
anghelkiller: heyo
Hexual  whispers: and Some of this stuff I've not even shared with her
Hexual  whispers: Cause,
Hexual  whispers: Shes already judging me by the way I'm playing around, like she does about things
Hexual  whispers: and, the littlest sentence fucks me over.
Fif: oops
Hexual  whispers: Ryan doesn't support this or blah blah
Hexual  whispers: LIke.
Hexual  whispers: You don't even know my whole side.
Hexual  whispers: Cause you get upset when I talk about it.
Hexual  whispers: and it gets me upset.
Hexual  whispers: Then she turns later, and talks about it
Hexual  whispers: and when I tell her to stop
Hexual  whispers: its
anghelkiller: oops?
Hexual  whispers: 'Well you're not letting me have my say."
Hexual  whispers: Like..
Hexual  whispers: didn't you just tell me you don't wanna talkabout it on my side.
Hexual  whispers: yet, I have to sit here..
Hexual  whispers: And listen to your side, and it's completely unfair?
Hexual  whispers: the last fight we had
Hexual  whispers: Which I'm thankful for you being there for her.
Hexual  whispers: Just, I don't really have someone like that at all
Hexual  whispers: I honestly have Ale, and you like right now talking to you.
Hexual  whispers: And I guess it's my fault you isolating myself.
Hexual  whispers: And Ale told me I can talk to you cause you can see both sides, and you do listen.
Inkwell: mar-mar the angstykiller returned >.>
anghelkiller: <.<
Hexual  whispers: Like we have problems, and we're working on them.
Hexual  whispers: But I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.
Maraud  > Hexual: 100%. I think it's just gotta be less about finding someone to blame and more about realizing the circumstances. like, the shit with drippy/legless. she's drunk and she finds him entertaining 'cause he's a dumbfuck, that's all there is.
Maraud  > Hexual: he's funny to fuck with 'cause he's a broken creature y'know?
Hexual  whispers: Mhm
Hexual  whispers: I see that as wrong though.
Hexual  whispers: That, she shouldn't be.
Hexual  whispers: Cause she talks all the time about bullying and stuff?
Maraud  > Hexual: it prolly is, but given the history and all the probs he's caused for us? it's kinda like compensation
Hexual  whispers: and how its so bad.
Maraud  > Hexual: he's definitely not someone to feel sorry for
Hexual  whispers: And that goes to, I accept that and say nothing.
Hexual  whispers: But that brings back to the will thing.
Hexual  whispers: I feel that way about him.
Hexual  whispers: And she doesn't so she does what she wants.
Hexual  whispers: Ig
Hexual  whispers: Like, I accept it. Let it happen and listen to her.
Hexual  whispers: two seperate things.
Hexual  whispers: e.e
Hexual  whispers: Pardon me, I'm just bleh.
Maraud  > Hexual: altho to my knowledge will isn't a significant person? he's like a minor shit, like legless.
Hexual  whispers: Hes a major shit.
Fif: ,AKE A WORD
Hexual  whispers: Hurt lots of friends I once had.
Hexual  whispers: I strongly dislike him and don't want him around.
Maraud: OKAY!
Hexual  whispers: Yet, she tells me "Well he's done nothing wrong to me or in here so it's fine."
Maraud: swapped had no vowels uwu
Hexual  whispers: But, yet when I said I knew Littleism
Hexual  whispers: She told me never to talk to her
Hexual  whispers: and block her.
Hexual  whispers: And if I argued
Hexual  whispers: I feel it'd not end well
Hexual  whispers: Cause I normally don't do that.
Hexual  whispers: But do you see how like that can confuse me?
Maraud  > Hexual: want me to bring will up? as far as I know he's not a character worth being around anyway, I don't think she'd reject blocking him
Hexual  whispers: I seen the messages exchanged.
Hexual  whispers: Shes open minded and
Hexual  whispers: talks to him about it
Hexual  whispers: But, I told her not to
Hexual  whispers: Do you see what I'm saying?
Hexual  whispers: Like, there is so many instances of this the last month.
Hexual  whispers: With many different people.
Hexual  whispers: many as in 5
Hexual  whispers: 2 of which I got over.
Hexual  whispers: and 1 happened tonight
Hexual  whispers: and its a
Hexual  whispers: "Oh, they're cool whatever."
Hexual  whispers: And its like.
Hexual  whispers: She threw at me I have no excuse cause I'm drinking
Hexual  whispers: to call you a she
Hexual  whispers: Which I did over voice chat
Hexual  whispers: and before I could correct myself
Hexual  whispers: she was all over me.
Hexual  whispers: And I'm in uncharted waters here
Hexual  whispers: I feel weird.
Hexual  whispers: And Don't know how I'm feeling exactly on some things but a few things I do know of, and are certain.
Hexual  whispers: I've presently spent most of the last few days reading, and taking serveral online courses and presently looking into seeing a therapist about my agression.
Hexual  whispers: I've never had someone so dedicated to me.
Hexual  whispers: And, shes changing me.
Hexual  whispers: I feel terrible for the stuff I do.
Hexual  whispers: The things I say to her when I'm mad.
Hexual  whispers: Cause the first time it was like someone else took the wheel.
Hexual  whispers: Like I had no control.
Hexual  whispers: I was in the backseat till it was over.
Hexual  whispers: And afterwards I felt like I was in a wreck.
Hexual  whispers: I felt hollowed out, as if nothing was there.
Hexual  whispers: And this recent time, I kept telling her to stop
anghelkiller has left the chat
Hexual  whispers: I said I so many times for her to stop
Hexual  whispers: cause I knew if she kept going I was gonna explode and yell
Hexual  whispers: which I did
Hexual  whispers: she didn't hold back.
Hexual  whispers: Afterwards she told me she'd work on it
Hexual  whispers: and stuff
Hexual  whispers: Which I 100% believe.
Hexual  whispers: But she got so mad at me for telling her to stop
Hexual  whispers: She mad
Hexual  whispers: and even when I explained it
Hexual  whispers: she said I was wrong and it was only to get her to shut up and roll over
Hexual  whispers: Which, is 100% wrong.
Hexual  whispers: And no matter what I said
Hexual  whispers: she didn't think otherwise.
Hexual  whispers: after that fight, I didn't feel anger.
Hexual  whispers: I felt Confused
Hexual  whispers: and remorse.
Hexual  whispers: And fear.
Hexual  whispers: I cried my eyes out.
Hexual  whispers: And I'm not one to cry easy.
Hexual  whispers: At all.
Hexual  whispers: Ale is my one true weakness.
Hexual  whispers: Shes come in and taken me off my feet.
Hexual  whispers: You've been around her 6 years, and you know how wonderful she is.
Hexual  whispers: I love her. I honestly do. With everything that I am.
Hexual  whispers: Like, through even saying everything that I just did.
Hexual  whispers: I don't feel anything but love for her.
Hexual  whispers: No bad thoughts, no hate.
Hexual  whispers: No aggression, nothing.
Hexual  whispers: Just, pure love for her.
Maraud  > Hexual: Ihearyou. and 100%, she's one of the best humans I've met and I've met a fuckton of humans, she's worth compromising and evolving for.
Maraud  > Hexual: all you can do is your best to please her tbh.
Fif: Drippy has such a nice voice
Hexual  whispers: I do, but I need that same thing in return.
Hexual  whispers: Atleast something more so.
Maraud: ask him his feels about asian
Hexual  whispers: I can compromise, and do that.
Maraud: asians* LOL
Hexual  whispers: And yes, try my hardest to make her happy.
Hexual  whispers: But as I've seen many times typed by her
Hexual  whispers: I shouldn't have to conform completely to her.
Hexual  whispers: She has to meet me half way.
Hexual  whispers: And I can't get half way without her.
Maraud  > Hexual: from my side at least I think she really is trying, she's tryna give you leeway when it comes to your anger and probs and tryna work with you to -stay- with you y'know? that's what she wants, too.
Hexual  whispers: I see it to
Hexual  whispers: She expresses it to me.
Hexual  whispers: And in instances I speak to her about it
Hexual  whispers: and talkabout it she gets upset, and stuff
Hexual  whispers: But as an example.
Hexual  whispers: After the last fight
Hexual  whispers: She did say she was wrong on it
Hexual  whispers: This was the second call after the fight.
Hexual  whispers: Later that night when she told me about the break.
Hexual  whispers: (Good idea btw Wren.)
Hexual  whispers: And such but in the first phone call
Hexual  whispers: it was everything I did wrong.
Hexual  whispers: And I let her talk.
Hexual  whispers: Compeltely.
Hexual  whispers: I about made a comment at the start.
Inkwell: night people
Hexual  whispers: and said sorry, and let her finish.
Hexual  whispers: Then, after she was completely done.
Inkwell has left the chat
Hexual  whispers: Cause she likes having her say.
Fif: SHOT?
Hexual  whispers: And, not being interupted.
Hexual  whispers: Cause she gets PISSED.
Hexual  whispers: If you do.
Hexual  whispers: I started to speak.
Hexual  whispers: And she inturupted me.
Hexual  whispers: 6 times.
Hexual  whispers: And when I said something about it
Hexual  whispers: She said "I have a right to speak"
Hexual  whispers: And "why are you inturupting me"
Hexual  whispers: Like..
Hexual  whispers: You just inturupted me.. to talk..
Hexual  whispers: and now you're saying the same things you just said..
Hexual  whispers: the first time..
Hexual  whispers: 6 times...
Hexual  whispers: How am I to like..
Hexual  whispers: Accept that?
Hexual  whispers: When she tells me I need to respect when shes talking
Hexual  whispers: but, can't when I talk.
Hexual  whispers: And I get upset about it.
Hexual  whispers: Liek automatically.
Hexual  whispers: Not a lot but it erks me
Maraud: SHOTSHOTSHOT
Hexual  whispers: Then she uses that against me
Hexual  whispers: when I again told her to stop
Hexual  whispers: "You're not calm, so you can't tell me to stop cause you automatically lose"
Hexual  whispers: I paraphrased that.
Hexual  whispers: Kinda like how you have a debate, and you get upset you lose?
Hexual  whispers: Thats almost what she said.
Hexual  whispers: Which I understand.
Hexual  whispers: But we're in a relationship..
Hexual  whispers: and, you want it your way.
Maraud  > Hexual: tbh with complicated people sometimes you just gotta roll over and realize you've got it good. lose the battle, win the war y'know?
Maraud  > Hexual: sometimes I say the dumbest fucking shit to jason and he'll accept it, and then it's dissolved, no issue
Hexual  whispers: I've done that up untill that point..
Hexual  whispers: Over minor things.
Hexual  whispers: But big things where its a matter of the relationship
Hexual  whispers: and it HAS to be talked about, from both sides.
Hexual  whispers: One side cannot snuff out the other.
Hexual  whispers: I can't roll over and just let her bash me with the truth endlessly like she did.
Hexual  whispers: And when she finally did say I could talk
Hexual  whispers: She was so mad
Hexual  whispers: And I started to talk
Hexual  whispers: but, then I got lost cause of the arguement and didn't know what to say.
Hexual  whispers: And that made her EVEN more mad.
Hexual  whispers: and bashed me for talking to much before hand and making her step in and talk cause I was going in circles.
Maraud  > Fif: BEST
Maraud  > Fif: I'M MILDLY HORRIFIED
Hexual  whispers: I'm like a little spinning wheel.
Hexual  whispers: I only spin
Hexual  whispers: when you spin me
Hexual  whispers: If you had a fight with Jason, and you told him you want him to listen to your side and let you talk.
Hexual  whispers: But he doesn't, after he said his side
Hexual  whispers: and constantly comes back to what he was saying
Hexual  whispers: without even, letting you finish
Hexual  whispers: Like.
Hexual  whispers: I makes me feel litle
Hexual  whispers: little*
Fif  whispers: about
Hexual  whispers: I might be a Dom, and stuff but I like to think I'm fair.
Hexual  whispers: But I'm only fair when It's fair back to me.
Hexual  whispers: BUT.
Hexual  whispers: I've been as FAIR as I can be.
Fif  whispers: i just peed yself a little
Hexual  whispers: Which brings me right back full circle to
Hexual  whispers: walking on egg shells.
Hexual  whispers: Not so much rolling over,
Hexual  whispers: but trying to avoid having to by not talking or, commenting on things.
Maraud  > Fif: JASON.
Fif  whispers: WHAT
Maraud  > Fif: LOOOL DID YOu
Maraud  > Fif: LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT UWU
Fif  whispers: LOOOL
Fif  whispers: how
Fif  whispers: about
Fif  whispers: no
Fif  whispers: LOL
Fif   passes mic
Maraud  > Fif: LOL.
Maraud  > Fif: just.
Maraud  > Fif: bored. of him not loving me. justsayyouloveme.
Hexual  whispers: When, you talk about things.
Hexual  whispers: And stuff.
Hexual  whispers: I get it.
Hexual  whispers: Cause.
Hexual  whispers: I have HUGEEE
Hexual  whispers: Insecurity issues.
Hexual  whispers: And, even though those people might be nothing.
Hexual  whispers: It gets to me.
Maraud  > Hexual: Ihearyou. I think it's like. a matter of pushing the limits of what you consider fair and allowing her definition in more.
Hexual  whispers: Of course.
Maraud  > Hexual: 'cause with me, jason has no fucking clue what makes me jealous and frequently fucks up. so I owe him that consideration.
Hexual  whispers: And, she doesn't know yet my triggers, and what makes me jealous.
Hexual  whispers: Well, some things.
Hexual  whispers: But things I do bring up, its the concerning me
Maraud  > Hexual: let her know! more she knows, the more she can avoid
Hexual  whispers: When I told her.
Hexual  whispers: I got.
Hexual  whispers: "You'll get over it"
Hexual  whispers: "I don't see it that way, It's Fine."
Hexual  whispers: So I stopped.
Hexual  whispers: Compeltely.
Hexual  whispers: Cause it was going to where with the jealousy.
Hexual  whispers: At all.
Maraud  > Hexual: so push it a lil bit more. make her realize it's serious to you, y'know? without getting angry, just have a serious relation convo.
Hexual  whispers: Even the concerning part, I get that.
Hexual  whispers: I did.
Hexual  whispers: And she gets pissed.
Hexual  whispers: And does the.
Hexual  whispers: "Well I believe people shouldn't be judged by things. And I give people chances."
Fif  whispers: MHM SURE THATS THE GIN TALKING
Hexual  whispers: Yet, she expects me to judge people off her side. andaccept it.
Maraud  > Hexual: let her be pissed for a lil bit, then bring it up again in a calm way later. some feelings defo take processing.
Hexual  whispers: But doesn't do it for me.
Hexual  whispers: I have?
Hexual  whispers: That's what starts are fights.
Hexual  whispers: Me bringing things up.
Maraud  > Fif: okbut
Maraud  > Fif: shouldItellhimIlovehim
Hexual  whispers: And she doesn't wanna talk about it.
Hexual  whispers: AT ALL.
Hexual  whispers: Literally.
Hexual  whispers: Her tone changes.
Hexual  whispers: She gets annoyed.
Hexual  whispers: How can I push that?
Hexual  whispers: I cant.
Hexual  whispers: Cause it's not right.
Hexual  whispers: Not when I get upset easily.
Maraud  > Hexual: you can, just gotta let the annoyance fade and go about it as logically as you can
Hexual  whispers: To me I have.
Maraud  > Hexual: but to her?
Hexual  whispers: Verbally.
Hexual  whispers: That's what caused the last fight.
Maraud  > Fif: ALE
Maraud  > Fif: ALEALEALE
Maraud  > Fif: TAKE UR TURN
Hexual  whispers: When she said
Hexual  whispers: I say ohhokay
Hexual  whispers: and stuff?
Hexual  whispers: I don't say it often.
Hexual  whispers: But, yeah I do.
Hexual  whispers: Cause I'm fucking scared to say anything.
Fif  whispers: NO
Fif  whispers: 100% NO
Fif  whispers: You're drunk
Hexual  whispers: Literally scared.
Maraud  > Hexual: well don't be! as long as you're controlling your temper and saying shit calmly it's not gonna go terribly. and if it does? revisit later. sometimes honesty can be a lot in the moment, but it definitely gets easier to stomach.
Maraud  > Fif: okayyes
Maraud  > Fif: butshouldIsayitanyway
Fif  whispers: 100% no
Hexual  whispers: Like earlier, I started off calmly. and she didn't get it.
Hexual  whispers: The last fight, I started calmly, but slightly adjetated.
Maraud  > Fif: okyesbut
Maraud  > Fif: shouldIsayitanyway
Hexual  whispers: AH JA TAY DID
Hexual  whispers: ?
Hexual  whispers: W/e its spelled.
Hexual  whispers: I start out calm.
Hexual  whispers: Believe me I start out AS CALMLY as I can be.
Hexual  whispers: But it goes to that,
Hexual  whispers: she wants me to see her side
Hexual  whispers: but only wants to see 30% of mine.
Fif  whispers: NO]
Hexual  whispers: Then I get more upset.
Hexual  whispers: And then she gets upset.
Maraud  > Hexual: just a matter of keeping that, y'know? keep calm the whole time and you'll literally have no probs getting her to understand, she defo doesn't respond to anger
Maraud  > Fif: ok
Maraud  > Fif: but
Maraud  > Fif: should
Maraud  > Fif: i
Maraud  > Fif: anyway
Maraud  > Fif: LOOOL
Hexual  whispers: I can't keep calm when I talk about something and it's turn completely around at me.
Hexual  whispers: And I should be the one getting over it.
Hexual  whispers: Or dealing with it.
Hexual  whispers: It again, goes back to she has to meet me half way
Hexual  whispers: Cause I can't go half way without her.
Maraud  > Hexual: you 100% can you'd just rather not, you're in control of you. if she ends up going off and you stay calm? that'd be on her, y'know?
Maraud  > Hexual: the moment you give in to it you're complicit
Hexual  whispers: Alright.
Hexual  whispers: Thank you Wren.
Maraud  > Hexual: you're v welcome!
Fif  whispers: NOOOO
Maraud  > Fif: okbut
Maraud  > Fif: he's going to bed
Maraud  > Fif: and I'd like to say it
Maraud  > Fif: should I
Maraud  > Fif: anyway
Maraud  > Fif: LOOOL
Maraud  > Fif: fuck I hate him
Maraud  > Fif: like legit fucking. fuck. I almost cried three times over him, two times weren't even sad cries? just like. Iwantyousobad cries
Maraud  > Fif: who. the fuck am I
Maraud  > Fif: TONIGHT*
Maraud  > Fif: JUST TONIGHT
Maraud  > Fif: he's not here yet
Maraud  > Fif: he's not where I am
Maraud  > Fif: and it's fucking awful
Maraud  > Fif: I'm so ahead of him and I'm just gonna keep moving
Fif  whispers: AWWW WREN
Fif  whispers: I understand
Maraud  > Fif: DON'T AWWWW ME
Maraud   DIES
Maraud  > Fif: I would've given him my number weeks ago
Maraud  > Fif: zfldkjzdlfkj
Maraud: SHOTSHOTSHOT?
Hexual  whispers: I just wanna cry.
LegoIas has joined the chat
Fif  whispers: 1. If you love him it neds to come frm a sober you. 2. He's fucking weird about numbers, but you'll get it eventually just like his dick size
Fif: SHOTSHOTSHOT
Maraud  > Hexual: howcome? she's with you, she loves you, compared to all else? nothing to cry about
Maraud  > Hexual: like she literally loves you
Maraud  > Fif: UGH NO
Maraud  > Fif: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT SOBER
Maraud  > Fif: ALSO I GOT HIS DICK SIZE LOL
Maraud: webs!
Fif: Weba lego butt
LegoIas: Haii
LegoIas: I was going to send you an apologu.
LegoIas: apology.
LegoIas: And then.
LegoIas: you didn't accept messages.
Hexual  whispers: Shes in a room with a dude.
Hexual  whispers: I hate.
Hexual  whispers: And I told her.
LegoIas: And I copied it.
Hexual  whispers: And shes like.
Maraud: oop, you can try in public?
Maraud: hit me
LegoIas: But it's weirdly formal.
LegoIas: so.
Hexual  whispers: "No, hes super cool."
Hexual  whispers: Like.
LegoIas: Here I go.
LegoIas: I would like to offer my sincere apologies for my inconsiderate behavior, the metaphor I used was poorly chosen and ended up an insult rather than a playful comment about how I view your relationship dynamic. It wasn't right for me to make a comment about it in the first place. Aside from my apologies I'd also like for you to know that I didn't have any unkind intentions. I hope you can accept my apology.
Hexual  whispers: Then laughs at me.
Hexual  whispers: Like.
Fif  whispers: LOOOOL well. You can't say it until you're sober that's the only time it'll be okay
Hexual  whispers: Come on woman.
Hexual  whispers: On this call with her atm
Hexual  whispers: and I don't even wanna be here
Hexual  whispers: cause I'm gonna fucking break down.
Maraud: that's actually really nice, I forgive you bbys. I just. like don't mention my boyfriend in a bad context, even implied, ever, because my first instinct is gonna be to defend him. I know you prolly didn't mean it as bad as it sounded, but yeah.
LegoIas: I do that sometimes.
LegoIas: I don't really know always when something is okay to say and when something isn't.
Maraud  > Fif: SAYS IT WHILE HE'S SLEEPING
Maraud  > Fif: CRIES FOR YEARS
Fif  whispers: DID YOU?
Fif  whispers: SCREEN SHOT
Maraud: well now you know yes?
Maraud  > Fif: LOLNO
Maraud  > Fif: FUCKKKKK no
Fif  whispers: OKAY GOOD LOL
Maraud  > Fif: he's asleep already
LegoIas: Yeah I know that this is a subject I should avoid.
Maraud  > Fif: fuck. no. fuck that.
Maraud: thanks, I appreciate that
Maraud  > Hexual: waitwait which dood?
Maraud  > Hexual: will or the other guy?
LegoIas: Denyon.
LegoIas: Carly.
LegoIas: Sorry typing things for Fif.
LegoIas: xD
Fif: Alezana
Maraud  > Fif: JSYK I still hate him
Maraud  > Fif: he's drama and I guarantee he'll make more. if he proves me wrong, bet, but ain't gonna trust.
Maraud  > Fif: ALSO TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND
Hexual  whispers: Lego.
Hexual  whispers: NOO.
Hexual  whispers: In the room?
Hexual  whispers: Amprex.
Hexual  whispers: The other dude.
Fif  whispers: WHY FOR
Hexual  whispers: The one that came up tonight.
Maraud  > Hexual: oop, idk him. if she hasn't mentioned him to me he's less than nothing LOL
Hexual  whispers: She randomly added.
Fif  whispers: AM ON CALL WITH RYAN
Hexual  whispers: Tonight.
Hexual  whispers: And they talked.
Hexual  whispers: And she creeped on the room he was in.
Hexual  whispers: Added everyone in it.
Maraud  > Fif: HE'S JEALOUS
Hexual  whispers: And joined it cause she was invited.
Fif  whispers: about?
Hexual  whispers: Shes added so many dudes.
Maraud  > Fif: amprex? or whoeveer?
Hexual  whispers: And ONLY dudes.
Hexual  whispers: And the futa.
Hexual  whispers: Lets not forget him.
Fif  whispers: oof
Hexual  whispers: her?
Hexual  whispers: (Honestly doesn't know)
Maraud  > Hexual: LOLsame. I don't know what futas identify as
Maraud  > Hexual: I think girls?
Maraud  > Hexual: but no clue
Hexual  whispers: Yeah
Hexual  whispers: OH
Hexual  whispers: Girls with dicks.
Hexual  whispers: But they're not shehes?
Hexual  whispers: Ig
Maraud  > Hexual: yuh, I use she/her pronouns unless they correct me
Maraud  > Hexual: works so far?
Hexual  whispers: That's what I do.
Hexual  whispers: But so many people get offended..
Maraud  > Hexual: I don't fully get it. like irl what do they classify as?
Hexual  whispers: like.. I didn't know?
Hexual  whispers: Idk.
Maraud  > Hexual: idk either.
Hexual  whispers: OH AND THIS.
Hexual  whispers: Ale fucking drills this into me.
Hexual  whispers: Like.
Hexual  whispers: WELL YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS.
Hexual  whispers: CAUSE ITS IMPORTANT CAUSE ITS WHO THEY ARE.
Maraud  > Fif: BE NICE THO
Maraud  > Fif: HE'S INSECURE UWU
Hexual  whispers: Like.. how can I know..
Fif  whispers: WHY THO
Hexual  whispers: +1 to confusion rolls.
Maraud  > Fif: he was going on about how you're only adding doods and talking to all these doods, he's threatened. I get it. if jason was talking to a bunch of ladies I'd be like UMMMMMMMMMMMM NO? FUCK OFF?
Hexual  whispers: But, I get it.
Hexual  whispers: I'm havn't been completely around it.
Hexual  whispers: But, I'm trying.
Hexual  whispers: So.
Maraud  > Hexual: 100%
Hexual  whispers: I can't complain about that to much.
Fif  whispers: ooof yeha i get that
Maraud  > Hexual: I mean, if you correct yourself when you're wrong that's all that matters. we all know it's confusing as shit. anyone who doesn't? is fooling themselves
Fif  whispers: Okay Thank yoy bbs
Fif  whispers: You*
Maraud  > Hexual: it's all very new
Maraud  > Fif: YSW BBYS
Hexual  whispers: Indeed.
Fif  whispers: https://gyazo.com/4cc053c2bd9f4ac52fafc755049f814c
Hexual  whispers: I got out of the Army, Feb 18th.
Hexual  whispers: So all I knew was boy, girl.
Hexual  whispers: You had long hair, you were a girl.
Hexual  whispers: from 17, till I was 21.
Hexual  whispers: That's all I knew.
Hexual  whispers: I let everything on the outside world be what it was,
Hexual  whispers: and I remain that way, but it's hard transitioning over.
Hexual  whispers: Bleh.
Maraud  > Hexual: right. tbh I used to mock that shit years ago too, as a way to distance myself from the concept. ezpz to be ignorant about when society's shoving the same shit at you all the time.
anghelkiller has joined the chat
Hexual  whispers: I did the same.
Maraud: weba!
Hexual  whispers: But, I see I was wrong in that.
anghelkiller: yo
Hexual: o/
Hexual  whispers: Well, I noticed that awhile ago.
Hexual  whispers: But I've never had to put it into effect at such a fast pace, than this last month.
Hexual  whispers: Cause I've never met so many..
Hexual  whispers: different people.
Hexual  whispers: I'm anti social.
Hexual  whispers: Extremely when I got back.
Maraud  > Hexual: I hear you, if I hadn't met my first bestie Em I woulda learned this shit way slower
Maraud: how you doin?
anghelkiller: im doing good! thanks
Hexual  whispers: Yeah.
Maraud  > Fif: DIDYOU?
anghelkiller: im working on the picture again
Maraud  > Fif: DID YOU NEED TO?
Maraud  > Fif: DID HE ASK?
Fif  whispers: NO BIT IT'SS SAVE HIS FEELINGS SO
Fif  whispers: IDGAF
Maraud  > Fif: LONG AS YOU'RE COOL
Maraud  > Fif: he's been whispering me do you want the chat log now or when you're sober?
Fif  whispers: nOW PLS
Maraud  > Fif: KAY
Maraud  > Fif: email or paste?
Fif  whispers: paste