EB: hey, dave!
TG: hey egbert
TG: whats going on
EB: not a whole lot! today's been kind of really uneventful.
EB: what about you?
TG: eh pretty much same
TG: not a whole lots going on
TG: shits so boring around here with school starting
EB: i don't know, man. that sounds pretty exciting to me.
EB: i mean, who wouldn't want to attend the target and walmart half-off of school supplies sales?
EB: so tell me, dave.
EB: are you a crayola kid?
TG: dude come on
TG: does it look like id use that roseart shit
EB: i was just going to ask that.
EB: yeah, actually.
EB: you DO seem like a roseart kid to me.
TG: fuck that
TG: once i used a roseart crayon and i will never make that mistake again
TG: i had to sleep with cal for a fucking week
EB: was your childhood filled with waxy, faded and crumbly lies branded and called, "roseart"?
EB: it's ok, dave.
EB: i won't judge you! i'll HELP you.
TG: i just told you dude
EB: we can get past this.
TG: oh my god
EB: no. i don't believe you.
EB: you have to show me your super cool pencil case now.
TG: its bright fucking pink with hello kitty on it
TG: shits so kawaii
EB: lame. we both know that barbie is the way to go.
TG: hell no
EB: hell yes.
TG: have you seen her face
TG: its creepy as fuck
TG: she is always smiling
TG: ALWAYS
EB: hello kitty doesn't even have a mouth.
EB: THAT'S terrifying, dave.
EB: imagine a cat with its mouth sewn shut.
EB: that is what i imagine when i think of hello kitty.
TG: oh god
TG: youre really fucked up arent you
TG: thats ok
TG: ill call lalonde up she can probably help you
EB: do you really still go school shopping for crayons and markers?
TG: my bro makes me go with him
TG: its ironic of course
EB: that's cute. did he finally buy you a new comforter and sheet set?
EB: you know. to replace your hello kitty one, of course.
TG: yeah man
TG: no way i got a new hello kitty one
TG: it matches my pencil case p much perfectly
EB: do you have a jeweled and bedazzled, kawaii iphone case, too?
EB: resin decor and everything.
TG: hell yeah
TG: bitches be jealous and shit
EB: everyone is jealous of your pencil case and matching hello kitty bedroom.
EB: except for me.
EB: i remain unmoved and unaffected.
TG: i think youre in denial to be honest
EB: i think you're the one in denial here.
EB: barbie is clearly the best adorable decision.
TG: nah i dont think so
TG: fuck that
EB: how about polly pocket?
EB: do you have a grudge against her, too?
EB: what did polly ever do to you?
TG: wait who said i had a grudge against polly
TG: she better than barbie
EB: i can only assume you would! you hate barbie, after all.
EB: don't you dare say that about barbie.
TG: hello kitty is where its at sorry egbert
TG: case closed
EB: this case is most certainly not closed.
EB: i'll see you in court next week, strider.
TG: OH SHIT
TG: im calling my lawyer up now
TG: your shit is gonna get slammed so hard