Alternate Realities 003

[Alternate Realities Journal 003]

[Shift 16 – Date unknown]

===

>You were getting really sick of running. If only these ponies weren't so damn persistent, you could stop for a moment, catch your breath, rest your legs. A quick glance over your shoulder, however, showed the three were still right on your tail. They'd been chasing you for a solid fifteen minutes without stopping, how were they still so close? Better yet, how were you still running? You were never a marathon runner in any sense. The adrenaline from the fear of getting caught must have been all that kept you going at this point.

>“Come on Anonymous,” you hear Twilight call out, “you can't run from us forever!”

“The hell I can't!” you shout back.

>“In the time you've spent runnin' from us, we coulda been over an' done with it by now!”

“That's a fine point you have there, Applejack! If you would allow me to present a counterpoint; screw you!”

>Your wild chase had led you well away from Ponyville, and into the surrounding wooded countryside. In fact, from what you remember, you should actually be pretty close to-

>The ground stops well before you do, as you careen into the airspace above Ghastly Gorge. A deranged smile marks your face as you twist your body around to face your pursuers. With both hands raised, you extend one finger of each to the sky in triumph, the gesture along with your mad cackling serving as a solid signification of your escape.

“HAHAHAAAaaaawww shit I forgot you can fly!”

>“Gotcha!” Rainbow grabs hold of your arm, halting your descent into freedom. Flapping a bit harder, she levels out into a hover before giving her ultimatum. “Now, either you come back with us and get this stupid thing over with, or I let you go and we find out how you respond to hitting the ground from this far up.”

>You look down into the gorge, the true dizzying height now apparent to you. You glance back over at Orange and Purple, their faces a mixture of surprise and irritation as they stand on the edge of the rocky cliffside. Mulling the options over, you look back up at Rainbow.

“I think I'll take my chances with the gorge.”

---

>The hot lights beamed down on you as you stood on the small modeling platform inside Carousel Boutique. The unbelievable amount of frills and lace of the dress you wore itched at every part of you it could. You looked over at your hovering blue betrayer with a look of detest.

“I wish you had just dropped me when I asked you to.”

>Rainbow looks back, suppressing a smirk. “Oh come on, Anon, it's not that bad.” Her control wanes as she continues. “Besides... you look... *snrk* so pretty!” She loses it, doubling over in midair, laughing uproariously. Twilight and Applejack stood near her, who had been holding up pretty well so far, but were starting to show signs of duress as they held back their own laughter.

“I swear I will kill you all before I leave this plane. And I'm starting with you, Rarity.”

>The white-coated destroyer of your manhood looks up from her measuring and designing, a hint of honest shock evident. “My word, you're in such a mood today, Anonymous. Normally you seem to quite enjoy these fitting sessions.”

“I told the lot of you yesterday that that was a different me and I'm from another plane of existence. A nicer plane, one where I'm not Whitefancy's dressbitch.”

>Twilight rolls her eyes. “Sure, and I'm an alicorn princess. You know that sort of magic is outside the realm of possibility.”

You jerk your focus back to her as she speaks. “This is your fault, you know. ...Well, not the you that's here, but the you that's from where I'm from. I swear if I ever see that you again I'm going to throw you into a wall.”

>She scratches at her head for a moment, clearly confused by the wording of your statement. You ignore her and return to the object of your torment.

“And why the hell do you even |need| to fit dresses on me, anyway? Aren't I the only one of my kind around here?”

>Rarity doesn't look up from her work. “It always pays to be prepared, dear.”

>A heavy sigh punctuates your frustration. You look over at the clock to see how much longer this was going to take. They said about 15 minutes, if everything went well. So far, it's been three. You decide to spend the rest of your energy on trying to will yourself to burst into flames.

>After about five more minutes, you had started to feel a bit warmer, but before anything could come of your efforts you heard the shrieking sound of your salvation. You mouthed a “thank you” to the heavens above before being briskly jerked through the barrier between worlds once more.

---[Shift 17]---

>You had made a habit of always closing your eyes during shifts, after that one time that you did not. Let's just say that there are some things neither man nor pony were meant to see. Letting the sounds of inter-dimensional transportation fade from your head, you open your eyes to find yourself in a home quite similar to the one you were living in back in your own reality, though many of the various nick-knacks scattered about were different. Before you had a chance to further inspect the differences there was a knock at the door. You answer to find the familiar magenta eyes of one spectral-maned pony looking up at you.

>“Hey Anon, are you- uh... why are you wearing a dress?”

>You look down to see that accursed mass of frills still binding your form. With one swift motion you grab either side of it and rip the offending attire in twain. You thank whatever deity was currently watching over you that you kept your normal clothes on underneath, tossing each piece off into the room behind you.

“What dress?”

>“Uh... nevermind. Anyway, are you ready for the party at Twilight's?”

>If there was one thing that served as a constant in all the realities you've passed through, it was Pinkie's random parties at every opportunity. At least thus far. If and when that stopped happening, you would know you were in real trouble.

“Sure, I guess.”

>“Alright, then let's go, I wanna see what kind of awesome punch she made this time.”

---

>The party, much to your surprise, was altogether completely normal. There were no insane creatures masquerading as ponies, no violent upheavals of sanity breaking out and being completely disregarded, no ponies trying to get into your pants. You sat sorta back towards one of the book-lined walls for the most part, slowly sipping at a glass of punch, which Dash had been pleased to find out was what Pinkie called “Spectral Surprise”. Speaking of Pinkie, she had been staring at you for a minute or two by the time you suddenly noticed her presence.

>“Hiya Nonny, you having a good time over here all alone?”

You somewhat awkwardly scratch at the back of your head while answering. “Uh, yeah, hey. Sorry about that, I've just had some things on my mind lately.” You manage a smile that's halfway genuine. “Don't worry about me, I'm fine.”

>Your response seemed adequate, and the bubbly pink earth pony reflected your smile back at twice the magnitude. “Okie dokie, you let me know if you need any party supplies!” With that, she trotted off to another part of the party.

>You leaned back against the wall in relaxation, bringing the glass of rainbow-colored liquid to your mouth for another sip. Finally, after so many shifts to so many insane realms, it seemed you had finally found one that was completely and totally nor-

>The sudden explosion flings the drink straight out of your hand and into some nearby pony's mane. You didn't have time to look into who it was, because there was now a large hole in the side of the treebrary through which a very angry looking... was that Nightmare Moon?

>“Hahahaha! You ponies thought you could defeat me that easily, eh? Well not even the Seals of Tartarus can hold me! Prepare thyselves!”

“Well, that didn't last very long.”

>Ponies scream and run wildly in all directions around you, as you casually stand up and walk to the center of the room, where your six friends now faced off with the ancient evil that had evidently not yet been stopped in this world. Night abruptly comes about, bringing the moon with it as you query the situation.

“Alright, so what the fuck is up with this shit?”

>“Nightmare Moon is back!” Twilight shouts, even though you're standing right next to her.

“I gathered that, thanks. So what are you all going to do about it?”

>Pinkie responds from behind you. “What we always do, silly!” She immediately jumps at you and wraps her small, pink body around your left arm. Before you had a chance to protest, the other five multicolored miniatures do the same; Rarity grabs your other arm, Applejack and Fluttershy bind your legs, Dash firmly locks her hooves around your chest from behind, and finally Twilight leaps up and grabs hold of your head, like she had suddenly thought herself a hat. From this perch she shouts something you were completely befuddled to hear.

>“Elements of Harmony, TRANSFORM!”

>You faintly hear Fluttershy mumbling to herself. “I hate this part...”

“What in the name of all that is fuck are you guys do- oh god what's happening?”

>All six of their bodies suddenly started shining brilliantly, until they were each merely blinding silhouettes of their primary coat colors. Before your eyes, the general shape of each of them began to change, while the world around you had melted away to become some kind of rave party nightmare. After what seemed like an extremely long time, for some reason having to focus on each pony separately as they changed, the lights all gave way with a mighty fanfare emanating from somewhere unknown. Attached to each part of your body was no longer ponies, but large, almost robotic looking pieces of armor.

>Still trying to figure out what the flying fuck just happened, a portrait of Twilight shows up on the inside of the purple visor of the helmet you were now wearing.

>“Anonymous, move!”

>Without giving the command much thought, you jumped backwards. This sent you careening up and backwards through another part of the sturdy tree's ceiling, which you tore through with little effort. A giant blackened ball of magic crashes into the spot you had just occupied, exploding violently. Eventually you began to wonder why you weren't falling; a quick glance over your shoulder showed the cause as two immense blue wings on your back, flapping through no effort of your own.

“Well, this is different.”

>You had no time to marvel, however, as the voice of purple once again barked in your ear. “Here she comes, watch out!”

>Nightmare Moon exploded out of the treebrary like a rocket, reducing it to nothing more than ash and splinters. Almost unconsciously, you leaned your body to the left, which resulted in a swift dodge as the stellar-maned terror careened past you. She did an upwards half roll, realigning her sights on you and coming in for another strike. Not one to be done in by no stupid moon horse, you swung your right arm towards her incoming form in a punch.

>Sparks flew dramatically as the large white horn coming out of the end of your fist clashed with the inverted opposing force of Nightmare. You stared each other down, the anger in her eyes meeting with the total bewilderment of yours. You finally manage to break the stall and try to gain some distance. Or you would, if your body hadn't apparently decided to go rouge on you. Instead, you advanced, and your arm suddenly started striking furiously at Nightmare, each blow being deflected in turn.

“What the crap, I'm not doing that!”

>Another portrait blinks onto the visor, this one Rarity.

>“Of course you aren't; I'll have you remember I've been taking fencing classes since I was a filly.”

>The lightning fast hornplay eventually culminated in a heavy strike that pushed the two of you away from one another. Rainbow Dash came on the visor, appearing worried.

>“Are you alright, Anon? You're acting like you've never done this before.”

“If I told you the reason for that, I'm certain you wouldn't believe me, so let's just say my mind is elsewhere tod-”

>“Incoming!”

>This time, you were not quick enough to react, and the giant projectile of darkness slams headlong into your chest, the resulting explosion launching you away like a smoldering comet. What seems like hours pass before you're able to recover, and reorient yourself upright. Nightmare is barely a speck in the distance, but closing in quickly. Twilight makes herself apparent in your ear again.

>“Quick, while we have the chance, use the Party Cannon MKII!”

“The what?”

>The image of Pinkie suddenly blips into sight, and pretty much takes up the entire visor.

>“AIM MEEEEE!!!”

>You raise your left arm and point it at the incoming adversary. The pink mechanical fist starts to split apart, eventually taking the shape of an immense cannon, far larger than the amount of material that constructed it had accounted for. The high-pitched humming emanating from the device signified the collection of energy inside the barrel. Soon, the rising pitch reached it's peak, much to the deranged delight of the pink loon grinning madly on the visor's surface.

>”Boom baby!”

>All sound is lost to the winds when the cannon fires. An absolutely tremendous torrent of pink energy pours out of the end of it in an unending beam nearly wider than yourself. Rainbow's wings flap much harder to keep you and your friendarmor from becoming Equestria's first super-low-orbit satellite. You grit your teeth at the ridiculous pressures enacting themselves on your body.

>Through your squinting eyes, you see something dart upwards beyond the brilliant veil of the laser. Twilight confirms your assumption as to what it was.

>“She dodged it! Quick, reorient!”

>Using all the strength you could muster, you swing the snaking beam upwards, chasing her across the sky. Try as you might, the dark alicorn avoids all of the beam that you throw her way.

“It's no good, she's too fast!”

>Rarity shouts into your ear over the ludicrous noise of the cannon. “You have to |lead| the shot, you fashion-blind buffoon!”

“Now that's just uncalled fo-huhoa!”

>Ebony hooves dig into your lower back as Nightmare Moon kicks you at the ground, having used your group's distracted state to get the drop on you. Sailing earthwards, you casually wonder if Rainbow felt that as hard as you did. The lot of you crash into the ground, hard enough to create a shallow impact crater that blew all the nearby trees into the air.

>Coughing up dust, you work on getting back up through the sharp pains in your back. The ponyarmor protected you somewhat, but not completely. Though before you had time to enjoy it a blip of orange invades your vision.

> “Tarnation, Anon, you sure are terrible at this fightin' thing today.”

“Can it, Texas, this shit's hard.”

>You hear her muttering something along the lines of  'what's texas?' before Twilight does her best to regain control of the crumbling team.

> “That's enough everypony!” She pauses somewhat awkwardly “...And Anon. Listen, we need to work together if we want to defeat Nightmare Moon! Now I know she's deflected or dodged every attack we've thrown at her this far, but I believe if we follow my plan to the letter, we can-”

“Shut it, Sparkplug; from what I've seen your plans blow in most every universe.”

>She seems more confused than hurt, but both emotions are clearly present. “Wh- what?”

“Alright listen up, all six of you. I have had entirely enough of this stupid bullshit for today, so now we're doing things my way. And my way entails letting me keep control of my body, got it?”

>“But what about the power of Friendshi-” Twilight starts.

“Friendship doesn't help when you're |dead|. Now, are we in agreement?”

>The six of them sound off.

>“Alright.”

>“Faine...”

>“Okie Dokie Lokie!”

>“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

>“As you wish.”

>“okay...”

“Good, then we're in business.”

>You look upwards at the lunar tyrant still floating in the air high above, as she must have been doing during that entire conversation. You considered wondering why she never took the opportunity to attack again, especially after that earlier onslaught, but decided it was better off left alone. She does take the time to gloat, however.

>“Well, well, well. Looks like the 'elements of harmony' aren't so harmonious, are they?”

>You raise your right arm, using the white hornblade coming from the middle-back of that arm's fist as an impressive gesture.

“Blow me, Moonbitch.”

>That seemed to do the trick, as her expression twists into anger. Like a gun being fired, she takes off downwards at you and your cadre of unusual friends.

“Pinkie, charge the cannon.”

>“You got it, Nonnyboy!”

>Energy begins collecting in the head of the cannon again as you hold it outstretched behind you. Nightmare cackled madly.

>“You fool! You'll have not nearly the time to charge that ridiculous th-hork”

>The orange plate of your southern kneeguard jams itself hard into her midsection, this time knocking the smug out of her in a far more direct manner, as well as any air that might have been in her lungs. She didn't even see you jump, being so lost in her own evil machinations. Pulling back, you flip forwards once, bringing the same leg down into the back of her head with a mighty crack. She then continues her descent, albeit much quicker and without an ounce of control. Her limp body crashes into the earth below. A second later, and so do you, both feet careening into her back. 'See how you like it' crosses your thoughts.

>Coughing and sputtering as you step off of her, she starts another snippy comment. “Hahh... you think that little bit of luck is enough to defeat- whoa wait a second!”

>Apparently she had thought you were going to back off for a moment, from the genuine surprise in her voice when you grab hold of the base of her horn. Too bad for her, you think, lifting her high overhead and slamming her into the ground. You leave quite a few Nightmare- Moon shaped depressions in the loose soil as you swing her back and forth like a ragdoll. One final swing into a nearby tree elicits a spatter of blood to come coughing out of her throat. Your onslaught halts when a feeble begging reaches your ears.

>“Stop... please...”

>Holding her up by the horn you regard the damaged creature with what was almost approaching pity.

>“I yield...”

“This is a trick, isn't it?”

>“No...” another cough brings up more blood. “You are... the victor...”

“Good.”

>You relax your stance a bit, and take a moment to admire the canvas of destruction around you. Before you or any of the ponies bolted to your body can say anything, you turn back to Nightmare, pointing the iridescent cannon directly at her face. She holds her forelegs up in surrender, trying to pretend she wasn't just about to strike again. You give her a disappointed look.

“I thought you said it wasn't a trick.”

>She fumbles for words, staring into the end of the cannon brimming with energy.

>“I... uh... well...”

“Stuff it. If I ever catch you around here again, you won't be as lucky. Get me?”

 >“Got you.”

“Stellar. Now get the fuck back to the moon and stay there.”

>With a mighty toss, you hurl the beaten alicorn at the now-lowering moon, bringing the cannon up after her.

“Punch it, Pink.”

>A blast just as deafening as the first tears out of the cannon, this time finding it's mark.  Her screams somehow overpower those of the beam carrying her into the stars, before both fade into silence. Letting the cannon drop, your armor pieces soon shine their respective colors again, and in moments, the six ponies stand around you once again. Your eyes remain fixed on the stars for a period. Twilight breaks the silence.

>“Anon... that was-”

“That was |fucking awesome|!”

>You raise your fists to the sky after finishing her sentence for her. Another moment of dead air comes about as everyone contemplates the past events. Rarity eventually speaks up to break the second silence.

>“Be that as it may, usually we're not so... ruthless... in our dealing with threats against the town.”

>“It |was| pretty awesome though.” Rainbow says, evidently taking your side to a point.

>“Rainbow!”

“Ah, don't get your tail in a twist marshmallow butt. Besides, we won, didn't we? And I doubt we'll be seeing that particular threat around for quite a while.”

>Rarity was now too busy poking at her flank with a frown to answer. Applejack does instead.

>“Ah suppose yer right, but still ya might shoulda gone a little easier on her. I mean, she |is| still the princess' sister.”

“I'm sure she'll understand. Now, if I remember correctly we were in the midst of a party before all this mess started. So I vote we go back to that.”

>Twilight snaps out of whatever trance she had been put in, to despondently bring up an important point. “We can't, the library blew up.”

“Oh, right. Well... Let's just move it to my house, at least until something blows |that| up!”

>Pinkie voices her thoughts on the situation by leaping onto your shoulders and raising a hoof to the sky. “Partyyyy!”

>As the seven of you walk through the craterous battlefield, Fluttershy finally lets out a thought that was most likely nagging at her mind for quite a while now, though it was still barely audible over the babbling loon on your head.

>“You sure are acting strange today, Anon.”

>You only offer a hearty laugh as response.

“I think I'm going to have fun here.”

===

[Over the next three days, the town was attacked twice by dragons, once by Discord, once by bloody King Sombra of all ponies, and a stunning four times by some big mare that called herself “Radiant Sun”, but I think it was just Celestia in a costume, given that I don't know of any other white alicorns with suns on their asses. She should probably think about getting more than just an eye-mask.]

[Haven't seen hide nor hair of Nightmare Moon since the first battle, though, which honestly I do feel kind of bad about. If I had had more time to get a feel for this world before she struck I may had discovered sooner that, much like Powerquestria, nobody around here really means that much harm, they just like to have big glorious battles. With the possible exception of Sombra; I think he's just a nut obsessed with crystals.]

[Still, the ponies of this reality are resilient, and I'm sure she'll be back around soon enough, at which point I might give her a proper apology.]

[Once I'm done kicking her teeth into the dirt, of course.]