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- >Be Anon
- >Sweat drips from your brow, forming a small puddle on the floor where you stand
- >A dull heat radiates from your aching muscles
- "Ughhh...", you moan
- >AJ looks over at you quizzically as she hands you a mug of water
- >"You okay there, Anon?"
- >You smile and nod, taking the water
- I'm good, AJ. I'm just...enjoying the soreness. Reminds me that I'm still useful.
- >Your arms protest at the weight as you raise the cup to your lips, the cool water constricting your throat as it races down to your gut
- "DAMN THAT'S GOOD!", you cough out
- >AJ laughs and sets her hat aside
- >"Ah wouldn't put it like that, but Ah'm glad you think hard work is its own reward, Anon."
- >She pauses for a moment
- >"That is what you meant, right? That weren't one of your weird human sayings like 'putting the cart before the horse', was it?"
- >You take another long swallow of water
- Yeah, that's what I meant AJ. No weird double meanings.
- >She flicks the brim of her hat and lets out a sigh
- >"Whew! For a second there I was worried didn't have your cows in a row."
- >You chuckle
- Don't you mean "ducks"?
- >The farmhorse looks at you, puzzled.
- >"Anon, we're on a farm, not a lake"
- I know, it's just that the say-
- >"Plus, do you see any breadcrumbs on me?"
- No, bu-
- >"And even if Ah did they'd leave the lawn covered in sh-"
- OKAY!
- >You throw your arms up in protest
- >AJ holds her ground
- >"...They're ducks Anon."
- Well, you're a pony.
- >"Damn straight."
- 1/
- >You and AJ stare each other dead in the eyes, and after a few moments, burst into laughter
- >The onion field fills with the sounds of your mirth, echoing off the distant apple trees
- >A high pitched mocking laugh seems to join the reply back from the orchard
- >You stop laughing and your eyes go wide, which only makes Applejack laugh harder
- >It almost sounds like her...
- >"C'mon now, Anon, don't tell me you're afraid of some timberwolf!"
- I-I'm not! I just remembered that I haaaa...
- >Your voice dies off as you try to gather up an excuse
- >"Haaaave to go home and change yer britches?", OrangeTruth teases
- >Bingo
- Well yes, but I also have a meeting with Twilight to get to. You know how she doesn't like putting things off more than a day.
- >The farmer readjusts her hat and nods
- >"Ain't that the truth. Well, Ah'm not gonna keep you from yer party."
- >Party?
- What party?
- >You stare at Applejack, and her eyes dart around nervously
- >"Ah have no idea what yer talkin' about, Anon. No sir!"
- >She sucks her lips inwards and begins sweating profusely
- >You decide not to press the issue further and begin moonwalking backwards towards town
- >It is exactly as awkward looking as it sounds, and it kicks up massive clouds of dust into Applejack's eyes
- >"MY EYES!"
- 2/
- >You spent a few minutes holding the hose for AJ so she could wash the dirt from her eyes
- >And after that was done, you made your way to Twilight's Library
- >...Castle. Got to commit that to memory
- >You knock loudly on the door, but no one responds
- HELLO!?
- >Again, no response comes
- Guess I'll just let myself in.
- >You pull the door open and step inside
- GAH!
- >And immediately trip over a small blue unicorn
- Trixie! What the he-GUGH!
- >An equally small and blue hoof finds its way into your mouth
- >"Didn't your parents teach you to be patient?" She barks at you in a whisper
- >You force her hoof out of your mouth, taking a deep breath and gagging as the air drags over your tastebuds
- Didn't youHURGHrparents teach you to wash your hooves?
- >Trixie smells her hoof and glares at you while you drag the inside of your shirt across your tongue
- You taste like Band-Aids and gunpowder. Eugh.
- >"Trixie has been busy caring for her patient!"
- >The magician points towards a large ball of bandages resting on the couch
- >As if on cue, the bandages begin to wiggle furiously
- >"Trixie? I can't move and I have to use the bathroom!"
- Is that Starlight?
- >The ball wobbles again, and the smallest bit of purple hoof pokes out and flaps at you
- >"Hi Anon. Can you get me out of here?"
- 3/
- >Before you can liberate the second purple unicorn you know, Trixie has pounced on her with a roll of bandages
- >"No walking! You need to rest!"
- >The roll races around Glimmer's cocoon with blinding speed, and the little bit of hoof that you could see vanishes in an instant
- >"Trixie, I'm fine! Just let me go to the bathroom!"
- >"No need! The Caring and Sagacious Trixie has a bedpan already set up!"
- Should I go? I can always come back later if you two are busy playing Misery.
- >You try to do your patented reverse moonwalk backwards out of the door, but find yourself unable to move
- >"Nonsense, Anonymous!" Trixie proclaims as she zaps you to the stairs with her magic
- >A massive hunger pang grips your stomach as your atoms reform near the banister
- >"Twilight said to send you upstairs as soon as you arrived!"
- >A wet PLAP fills the air as your half-digested breakfast hits the floor
- >”Anon! You’ve made a mess of Trixie’s Hospice, and I demand you clean it immediately!”
- >You shake your head
- You're the one who made me toss my cookies.
- >”And what do you mean by ‘Hospice’?”, rises a concerned voice from the couch
- >”Starlight please, you could be taken by The Bony Pony at any minute. Now get some rest and I’ll ge-HEY!”
- >You stopped paying attention and resumed heading upstairs around the time Starlight said “what”
- >And, just as you were about to reach the top step, a certain blue unicorn popped back into view
- 4/
- >You try to step around her, but Trixie sidesteps to get in front of you
- Really?
- >“Absolutely. Vomit is disgusting and brings flies.”
- Didn’t you say Twilight wanted to see me as soon as possible?
- >"Clean it", she glowers at you
- >You start to move past her again, but she pokes your stomach with her horn
- >She knows you have no way past her
- Fine. Just let me tie my shoe. I don’t want to trip on my laces.
- >As you bend down you tuck your head behind your leg, away from Trixie’s line of sight, and clear your throat
- “Trixie? I got out of my bandages to get some juice, but in my weakened state I dropped my glass and fell on the shards.”
- >”STARLIGHT!”, Trixie screams as she pushes past you and bolts into the kitchen, paying no mind to her mummified marefriend still resting on the couch
- And Dad said those voice classes wouldn’t pay off.
- >You summit the stairs, repressing that those classes have only really been useful to you a handful of times
- 5/
- >The crystal halls of Twilight’s castle are empty as you make your way towards her library
- >Granted, you didn’t have a clue of where she actually was at since Trixie neglected to inform you of her location
- >But you feel that even as a Princess, the most likely place for her to be at would be a place filled with books
- >Or hayburgers
- God, how she can put away those hayburgers...
- >Your footsteps echo inside the hallway as you approach the Library, and you begin to wonder why Twilight was so insistent on this meeting
- >Maybe the Cutie Map finally summoned you
- >Or another human finally found their way to Equestria
- Ooh, I hope she's ho-GGH!
- >For the second time today, a hoof finds itself lodged in your mouth
- >You try to claw it out before you can taste the dirt on it, but a force holds your arms still
- >Shadows cloud your vision and blind, mute, and immobile, you feel your feet lift off the floor
- >A few moments of motion sickness, colliding into walls, and many hushed "Sorry!"'s later, you feel the ground beneath your feet again, and the hoof pops out of your mouth
- So, is jamming hooves in mouths a cultural thing or something, Twi? Because I'm not for it.
- >"I'm-AHEM", she clears her throat and begins speaking in a deeper voice "I'm not sure what you mean, strange monkey I've never met before. Who is this Twilight?"
- >Your vision still blacked out, you turn to where her voice is coming from
- You are. You're the only pony I can think of whose hooves would reek that badly of ink and parchment.
- >"...drat."
- >Color slowy begins its return to your eyesight, and the fuzzy shape of Twilight stands sheepishly in front of you
- >"Sooo, is that your new hobby? Smelling hooves?"
- Only if I'm being paid enough. Now, is there a reason you had to drag me into your lib-
- 6/
- >Swords
- >Walls scaled with swords and lined by suits of armor fill your eyes as your vision returns to you
- >A long, oval table made from smoldering pieces of oak spans the length of the room, small tongues of flame darting up from it at odd intervals
- >It fills you with a sense of dread
- This isn't the library.
- >"That it isn't."
- >Twilight takes a deep breath and stares you in the eyes
- >"It's The War Room."
- By which you mean the room Spike plays O&O in, right?
- >A nervous chuckle slips from your throat and promptly dies in the air as Twilight responds with a flat
- >"No."
- >She rests a wing on the table, and flame licks around it
- >"This is the room from which I plan military defenses in the event of Ponyville being invaded by a hostile adversary."
- >The flames on the table begin crawling over the top of her wing.
- Uh, Twi? Your wing is-
- >”On fire? I assure you it doesn’t burn, but it does give off a very intense heat.”
- >The flames warp and dance across her feathers as she traces her limb on the tabletop
- >”I sometimes wonder why the Tree made this room a part of the castle. Why it chose to repurpose Golden Oaks as a table in this room, and not in the library.”
- >Twilight stares into the flames, a wistful look on her face
- Maybe because the tree knew how much you loved the library and tried to incorporate that while recognizing your responsibilities as a leader?
- >Twilight continues gazing into the flames
- >The faintest hint of a smile colors her face as the fire makes its way closer to her body
- >”Maybe. Or maybe Celestia had it put here, to remind me of who put me here in the first place. To remind me of my place."
- 7/
- >"Although I suppose that's neither here nor there, is it."
- >She finally removes her wing from the table and a tail of flame strings between her body and the table
- >With slow, measured steps, she closes in on you
- >"I asked you to come here today for something very important, Anon."
- Was it to make me crap my pants? Is Ponyville somehow that short on manure?Because if that’s the reason, then you’ve failed.
- >”No, that’s not the-“
- Mostly.
- “Mostly?”
- >You lift your ass off of the chair
- Okay maybe you partially failed.
- >”Partially? Anon, failure isn’t a partial measure. It’s either a yes or nOKAY YUP I GET WHAT YOU MEAN.”
- >Twilight reaches her wings around to cover her nose
- >”Eugh.”
- You have no one to blame here but yourself.
- >A purple glow surrounds her horn, and with a familiar popple and crack, a pair of your jeans and underwear falls into your lap
- >One change of pantaloons later
- >”Can I look now?”
- Yes. Thanks again for the change of clothes.
- >”It’s not like I was going to let you sit in your own filth. Now-“
- >Twilight reaches underneath the table and drags a small chest into view
- >It’s very nondescript looking, but you can feel a great power radiating out from the inside
- >”This,” she says as she opens the lid, keeping the box faced away from you, ”is the reason I asked you to visit me today. THINK FAST!”
- >Hooking her hooves around the box, she whips it around fast enough the send the contents flying towards you
- >The item that was inside the box attempts to bury itself in your face, stopping mere inches from your eyes
- >Where it explodes in a blinding green light
- 8/
- >Wake up
- >The sunlight is coming in through the open window
- >A beam of sunlight falls over your eyes, and you wince and roll away in response
- >The floor is cold beneath your hooves as you get out of the bed and walk towards your mirror
- >A tired face stares back at you
- I am Fluttershy.
- >The mirror’s mouth moves along with your own, but you don’t believe what it is saying
- >So you repeat yourself
- I am Fluttershy.
- I am Fluttershy.
- I am Fluttershy.
- >Yes
- >You are Fluttershy
- >You live on the outskirts of Ponyville, in a cottage where you care for lost animals and your neighbors’ pets
- >Life is…
- >Life is
- >After a morning shower, you wrap your mane in a towel and walk down the stairs to the kitchen
- >As usual, Discord and Angel are having coffee
- >So, as usual, you start to boil water for a bowl of oatmeal, and begin slicing apples for Angel’s morning bowl of fruit salad
- >The knife is sharp, as a blunt knife is far more dangerous than a sharp one
- >With a few practiced rocks of the knife, the apple is peeled and sliced into eighths
- >The apples go into the bowl, and you begin dicing the pineapple
- >Angel chitters as you remove the skin from the pineapple
- >You start to reply, but Discord chitters back for you
- >Angel chitters again, and Discord replies again. You place the pineapples into the bowl
- >More chittering, and then a snap. The water is boiling, so you take it from the heat and add your oats
- >You turn around, and see Angel is no longer there. You add some of the apples to your oatmeal, with some cinnamon
- Oh my, I wonder where Angel went to?
- >”Probably to the brothel for another hard day of work.”, Discord replies as he drinks his coffee
- >You giggle, though you find no humor in the joke, and sit down at the table
- >She knew-…You know of Angel’s career. And of his capacity for normal speech. He pretends to be a simple rabbit because he believes it makes you happiest
- >Happy
- >You stir the oats to help the water absorb into them fully
- 9/
- >Discord thumbs through his newspaper, and you blow on your oats
- >The quiet noises are amplified in the even quieter kitchen
- >You feel a need to say something to break the quiet
- >It’s normal to talk at mealtimes
- >You are normal
- >”Hmm. ‘Local woman divorces husband, cites gaming as main reason.’ What a world we live in, eh?”
- Which game?
- >Comfortable, you return focus to your oats
- >”I think it was a kind of LARP. But to be so attached to game that you would neglect everything else…can you even imagine it?”
- I..I don’t believe I can. I’m not much for those games.
- >You bring a spoonful of oats to your mouth
- >The cereal is warm and sweet
- >Silence returns to the kitchen
- 10/
- >After washing your dish, you returned to the bedroom to brush out your hair
- >You run the brush downwards, starting at the bottom of your hair, undoing the knots as you go up
- >It was the way her mother taught her
- >You pull the brush away
- >Your mother
- >The way your mother taught you
- >Your wing begins to ache, strained by the force with which you are holding the brush
- >You breathe deeply, loosening your grip as you do so, and return to brushing your hair
- >It’s Wednesday
- -
- AH SHIT!
- >You are Anon
- >Green light is flooding your vision, even with your hands clamped tightly around your eyes
- >Strange patterns move through the light, and they almost resemble…ponies?
- >You see the lives of scores of ponies, each one a kind soul who put the well-being of others above their own
- >Or at least, that’s what you can feel from them. The patterns don’t have any real shape to them, but a part of your being knows that they are ponies, and that these ponies were kind
- >”Anon!”
- >A familiar voice calls out to you, and the green light leaves your eyes
- >Only to be replaced by a much brighter white light
- FUCK!
- >"Are you okay? Do you feel queasy? How many feathers am I holding up?"
- >Twilight shoves a blurry wing in your face, and you push her away in kind
- "I'm fine", you gurgle as an acidic sensation crawls up the ba-
- AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGGH
- 11/
- >A fountain of vomit arcs across the room
- >"Ew!", Twilight screeches, barely erecting a shield in time to block the spew from splashing her
- ...fine. Shee? Eberyting's fine.
- >Twilight peeks out from behind her shield
- >"Good. I was kind of worried you might explode across the floor or something. I guess I was right, kind of."
- >Twilight levitates you a box of tissues and you take one, blowing out the chunks of food that strayed up your nose
- "Now", clearing your throat with a growl, "what the hell was the light show about? And did you say 'explode'? And what the hell did you throw at me, anyway?"
- >Twilight lowers her shield as she rolls your questions around in her big egg head
- >"Right, so," Twilight begins, "I want to start by confiding something in you."
- Uh, okay? Shoot.
- >Twilight steps over to your side and sits down, gingerly skipping around the puddles of vomit
- >"I'm afraid of change, Anon. Morbidly, irrationally terrified of change."
- >Her wings drop as if she just shrugged a heavy load from them
- >"Do you remember when I became a princess?"
- >You laugh
- I don't think there's a person alive who can forget the time you flew around town screaming "EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST F-ow!"
- >Twilight bats at your shoulder, her hooves surprisingly painful in spite of the lack of force behind her blows
- >"Ass. I was going to say, the only reason I did that was because my world had fundamentally shifted. I wasn't just Twilight Sparkle: librarian and Element Bearer."
- And ethically challenged magicist?
- >"...yes. I was thrust into being Twilight Sparkle: Librarian, Element Bearer, and Princess of Friendship."
- And ethically challenged magicist.
- >Twilight raises a hoof, and you put your arms up to block her
- 12/
- >"I didn't want to accept it at first, because it didn't fit how I saw myself," she states as she lowers her hoof.
- >"It didn't fit how I had planned my life to be. And I was scared."
- >Twilight directs her gaze at the floor, staring deep into a splash of puke
- >"For that same reason, I shut out Spike when The Element of Laughter chose him to be its new bearer."
- Because you didn't want to think about anybody else being Laughter.
- >"Well that, and it's dangerous being an Element Bearer. You've seen the stuff we have to deal with, Anon."
- >It's true. In between world-ending events, the girls were called on for anything ranging from diplomatic missions to directing rush hour traffic
- I still think about those party carriages.
- >Twilight drapes a wing around your shoulders
- >"We all do. But!"
- >She stands up, and a glow surrounds her horn as she starts collecting up your vomit into a floating ball
- >"Since you didn't turn into a pulpy mess, I have a lot of confidence in how you'll be able to handle future crises."
- >...and she lost you
- "Come again?", you inquire as you shakily begin to stand, "Not trying to ignore your new sense of self-awareness, Twi, but I'm -TINK-"
- >As you stand, you hear something metallic hit the floor between your legs
- >And looking down, you see that it's an Element of Harmony
- ...lost.
- /13
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