Class of 2017 (Part Five)

I shut my eyes tightly, rubbing my temples, a painful headache pounding in my skull.

"Hey!"

It's all in my imagination, I can make it go away, I tell myself. Just a bad mixture of pills, that's all it is. Auditory hallucinations are possible with the medication I take.

"Hey! I'm talking to you, damn it! Don't ignore me!"

I feel a finger poking me in the ribs a few times.

Tactile hallucinations are not a side effect of my medication, though.

I open my eyes and see her kneeling in front of me, a worried look on her face. "Are you all right?"

Why do I keep seeing this girl?

"You're dead, Saki."

Her face twists into a grumpy pout. "Why do you say that every time we see each other? You have to stop acting like a jerk or I'm going to stop hanging out with you!"

"It's so I can convince myself I haven't completely lost my mind."

She smiles charmingly and hops back onto the black crate next to me. "You still think I'm not real? What am I, your imaginary friend? What kind of a perv has an eighteen year old girl for an imaginary friend."

"You are not an eighteen year old girl. You were a twenty five year old woman when you died. I'm still convinced you're just a bad mixture of medication. I've had a very stressful night tonight. I got into a fight with my best friend, had a very bad heart episode, tossed back a handful of pills with a flask of Scotch, which I shouldn't have done and talked about a very difficult experience in my life in front of many of my friends and associates. I've been thinking about you almost the entire night. It's all just a bad trip, that's all."

She looks at me sadly, like I was the one who's presence doesn't make any sense. "Well, knock it off. You hurt my feelings every time you remind me of my current situation."

"'Current situation'? You're dead!"

"Details," she purrs back at me.

I hang my head low. "I shouldn't be seeing dead people."

"Then tell your doctor to change your medication and maybe I'll go away."

"Yeah, that will be a great conversation. 'Hey, Nurse, can I get some new pills? I'm seeing a girl I took off life support two years ago and now she's a student in my class.' That will go over real well."

Saki shrugs her bare, pretty shoulders. "Then you'll just have to get used to it. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

I sigh in frustration and continue to watch her out of the corner of my eye, looking for something, anything to prove she's not really there, that I'm simply imagining things. Even so, I can't find anything, no proof whether what I'm seeing is real or not.

"I've always thought of myself as a man of science," I say.  "That everything can be explained through observation. How can I accept something as real when I know it can't be, even though all my senses tell me that it is?"

Saki shakes her head, laughing at me. "Can you for once just stop being a teacher all the time? You need to learn how to have fun!"

I turn towards her, a slight grin on my face. "Teacher? Fun? Okay, I can have fun; have you finished your homework?"

Saki's smile disappears and she becomes very circumspect.

Saki and I have a game we play. I pretend to be her teacher and she pretends to be a student. I give her assignments, homework, she even sits in my class from time to time.

We pretend it's perfectly normal, that there isn't anything strange about her. She makes the joke that every teenager at Yamaku has a disability, it's just that hers is an advanced case of the deceased.

I know I shouldn't indulge the hallucination, but somehow deep down inside, it makes me feel good to act like this is normal, to play pretend.

Saki looks away from me and ignores my question.

"Well?" I repeat.

She turns back to me and gives up, a sigh of annoyance on her lips. "It's vacation!"

"That's why it's homework! It's due!"

"The other students don't have to turn in their assignments until they return!"

"The students who are staying at the school during their vacation don't get any special treatment from me. If you are on the campus, I expect work to be done. It's called extra credit for a reason!"

She glares at me and crosses her arms. "That's not fair, I can't leave the school."

"Suck it up."

She rolls her eyes and throws her hands in the air. "I'll have it done, all right? I'll turn it in tomorrow. Maybe the day after, God!"

I narrow my eyes at her and nod. "That will be satisfactory."

Saki shakes her head. "You're a jerk, Hisao."

"What was that?"

She turns to me and beams, switching the charm on like a switch, dazzling me with her smile, her bright eyes and expression, her dark, honey colored hair. "You're a total jerk, Mr. Nakai," she says as sweetly as possible.

You should have been a movie star, I think to myself with regret. You would have been beautiful, Saki.

She quirks an eyebrow at me. "You're looking at me funny, Hisao. I used to get nervous when guys looked at me like that."

I laugh. "Sorry about that. So what have you been doing tonight?" I say, changing the subject.

Saki shrugs. "Same thing I do all the time; wander around, watch people, mess with them a little if I can. I've been following you mostly. Lots of people around tonight, so I've been pretty busy."

"Seen anything interesting?"

Saki gets a devious smile. "Would you like to know what I saw two of our former classmates doing in the bathroom? I can give you names."

"No, I would not."

"You're right, Florian deserves his privacy. It wasn't nearly as bad as what Takeshi tried to get Molly to do."

"I definitely don't want to know that."

She smiles, her nose scrunching up cutely. "Yeah, most of the stuff I overhear is boring, nothing really juicy." She giggles, covering her face a little. "Not like your little secret...."

I turn towards her. "What are you talking about?"

Her face is a little red and she giggles again. "I never would have thought you and Mrs. Nakai were into the kinky stuff! What will the other students think when they hear about the two of you and Ms. Ikezawa?"

My throat goes dry and my face turns red. "How? How did you...?"

"I told you, Hisao, I follow you around! I was there when Miki caught you without your ring and your little rooftop confession."

I turn to face her, pointing a finger in her face. "You! Kenji thought he heard a voice, were you messing with him?"

She smiles deviously. "Maybe. It's not fair, Hisao! He wants to prove there are ghosts here at Yamaku and you won't even tell him about little old me? What kind of friend are you?"

"Never mind, Kenji! Saki, you can't say anything to anyone about Lilly and Hanako!"

She rolls her eyes. "And who the hell am I going to tell? Calm down, Hisao, I'm not judging! Besides you told Rin, that was really stupid! That girl's mouth runs like a faucet!"

"Better than a gossip like you!"

"Flattery will get you everywhere with me!" She pats me on the shoulder. "It's fine, Hisao. Don't worry. Your lucky, good for you. I can tell how much you and Lilly care for Hanako."

I settle down a bit, but I'm still on edge. Somehow having Saki know about the three of us bothers me more than anything else, maybe because I think of her at times as a student.

There's a professional consideration there, I guess.

"So you were on the roof?"

A flicker of worry passes through her eyes. "Yeah, I was. You had me scared, Hisao, I thought you were going to join me."

"Yeah, I was scared too. There wasn't anything you could do?"

She shrugs. "According to you, I'm a figment of your imagination, so what help could I be? And if I'm not, well, I guess it's sort of like a rule or something? I can't make your decision for you, I guess? I'm not sure how this being dead thing works at all."

"Well, for future reference, if you get any nifty supernatural powers, feel free to use them to help me if you can. Maybe we can work up a list and catalog exactly what your capable of, maybe get a better grasp of exactly what you are."

Saki rolls her eyes. "You always were such a nerd, Hisao! That's why we never hung out with each other!"

I'm shocked and a little offended. "Nerd? I was not a nerd!"

"You so were!" she says, shoving me in the arm. "You always had your face in a book, always staying after class and doing extra credit! You were a Grade-A nerd! You might as well have worn a pocket protector and glasses, it would have gone well with that sweater you wore! Ugh, gag me!"

"And what about you?" I shoot back. "You were just as bad!"

"Me? I was a very snappy dresser and I was popular!"

"Yeah, if Yamaku had cheerleaders, you would have been the Captain."

She flips her hair, an expression of mock modesty on her face. "Oh, well thank you!"

"I meant that you were the closest thing I'd seen at Yamaku to a bully."

It's her turn to be offended. "'Bully'? Where do you get off saying that about me? It's bad luck to talk ill of the dead!"

"It's true! You were always taking shots at other people behind their backs. Shizune was right, you were a shameless gossip!"

"Shizune was the queen bitch of the school! I just had my finger on the pulse of the popular gossip. I can't help it if I was part of the 'in' crowd and you weren't!"

I laugh and lean back against a black crate. "I had plenty of friends! I was pretty popular myself!"

"Yeah, right!" Saki smiles, all teeth, her eyes practically twinkling with stars. "Your friends were all losers, why do you think I couldn't afford to be seen with you?"

"Losers? I'm hurt. My friends are awesome!"

"Maybe to you, but you hung out with the wrong crowd. I couldn't stand any one them!"

"That's only because all my friends were girls! You just couldn't stand the thought of a guy being your friend and hanging out with other girls!"

Saki giggles. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I always was a little jealous! But still, your crowd and my crowd just didn't get along."

I hold up a finger. "Name one friend of mine who wasn't cool."

"Kenji."

"Okay, that was too easy! What's wrong with my friends, huh?"

She narrows her eyes playfully. "You really want to know?"

I nod.

Saki shrugs, the straps of her dress lifting slightly. "Okay, you asked for it. You may begin."

"Emi."

"Flat-chested, hyperactive twerp and dumb as a brick."

"Shizune."

"Really? You need to ask? Total bitch, worse than I was! Anyone who becomes Class President is an attention whore."

"Rin."

Saki stares at me with an amused expression.

"Okay, fine. Miki."

"Tomboys! I can't stand tomboys!"

"Then what about Misha?"

"Fat."

"Shizune was right, you were a bitch."

"Like I said, takes one to know one. Continue."

"Hanako."

"You sure you want to know?"

"Yes."

"Okay. She wouldn't look you in the eye when you talked to her, a conversation with Hanako was like pulling teeth. She was a total spaz, a wallflower. I think the whole cute and shy thing was an act to get sympathy."

"Hanako had a lot of trouble in school, that really isn't fair. You don't know what she went through."

Saki smiles at me. "Coming to the little shy girl's defense, huh? I've seen how you've been looking at her recently."

I pull at my collar, cough and continue on. "Lilly."

Saki blinks a few times and turns away. "Nope. Not gonna to do it."

"Why not?"

"You're married to her. I don't want to ruin our relationship. I may have been bad in school, but I'd never talk about a someone's girlfriend or boyfriend and say something bad about them. At least not to their face."

"Come on, tell me what you thought."

She looks me up an down. "Promise you won't get mad?"

I cross my fingers over my heart.

Saki sighs and holds her hands up in defeat. "All right, but I warned you. I always thought Lilly was a faker. She tries to act classy so she'll be cool, but really, she has this superior attitude that pissed me off. It was always like she was talking down to you, like she was better than you were. Like she was your Mom. I always thought under all those layers of fake she was just like the rest of us or even worse, but she wouldn't admit it even to herself. Acted all prim and proper, but I bet she has some freak in her closet. Judging by what you and her have been doing with Hanako, I guess I was right."

It takes me a little while to shake that one off. "Jesus, Saki, don't hold back or anything, tell me what you really think."

She giggles. "I told you it would hurt. Sorry, but that's what I thought back then."

"I'm surprised you had any friends with that attitude of yours."

Saki blinks a couple times at me, her smile turning wane. "I didn't, Hisao. I had people I surrounded myself with, people I did things with. But they weren't friends."

I wince. "Sorry."

"It's all right. I know the kind of person I was. I told you, I was a bitch. People couldn't stand me. They liked me because I was pretty or they were afraid that if I didn't like them, I would make fun of them and talk about them behind their back. They hung out with me as a precaution, nothing more. Shizune was right. I was a bitch, Hisao, and I got what I deserved for it in the end."

I turn to her putting my hand on her shoulder. "Don't say that. Nobody deserves to die alone, Saki."

"Maybe not, but I came close. I was not a good person, Hisao, I was a bad person. You don't know half the things I did after leaving Yamaku. Ask Shizune what she found when she dug into my life, you'll get the whole story. I was no stranger to getting into trouble."

"I don't need to. It doesn't matter what you did."

"Really? What little time I spent in the hospital, I would go into other peoples rooms and steal stuff from them. I'd sell their medication for money which I would then spend on making sure the assholes I hung out with would like me. I helped a boyfriend, who I had been dating for two weeks, steal his Mother's jewelry and sell at a pawn shop. Then I took the money and hooked up with another guy I had been cheating on the first guy with and we used it to have a hell of a weekend. Then I told the first guy the second guy had taken the money from me and they had a fight and went to jail. Of course, I was long gone by that point."

I listen to her confession out of respect. I turn away from her. "You don't need to tell me these things."

She nods, a serious expression on her face, her eyes glistening. "Yes, I do. I was not a good person, you should know these things before you make it sound like I was. You made me into a martyr in your speech, but I wasn't. I died because of my condition and I helped it right along. You said some nice things, Hisao, but they were lies. I died alone because I didn't trust anyone, because I pushed them away. Everyone who tried to help me, I turned into my enemy. You should have heard the things I called Rika when she wanted to help me."

"Rika was your friend, Saki. She knows how you felt."

"The last time I saw Rika, I was screaming at her. She tried to tell me what I was doing was wrong, that I needed to get my life back on track. Rika. Telling someone that they needed to get back on track? Can you imagine that? I called her horrible things."
Saki turns away from me and wraps her arms around herself.
She looks so cold.
"I wish she knew how sorry I was. How much I really loved her."

"She knows, Saki, I'm sure she does."

She shakes her head, tears starting to fall. "No, she doesn't. You had a nice speech about me, but it was all a lie."

She looks up at me and I can see the total resignation in her eyes.

"I was a bitch, Hisao. And bitches die alone."

I pull Saki into a hug. She pushes away, but I force her into my arms and hold her tightly. She squirms a little, puts up an effort to fight back, but she soon sinks into the embrace with a shaky sigh.

"I'm sorry, Saki. I should have done more for you back then."

I feel her shrug. "Even if you did, I wouldn't have let you get close."

"Doesn't mean I shouldn't have tried."

"I would only have torn you down with me, Hisao," she says, her voice muffled in my shoulder.

I tighten my hold and she hugs me back. "I would have helped pick you up again."

Something warm touches my neck and I idly wonder if ghosts can cry.

Saki pulls away and I let go of her. She wipes her eyes, sniffles a little and smiles at me. "You are such a nerd!" she says, keeping her voice level. "But you're a kind nerd. Thank you, Hisao."

We share a silent moment together.

From somewhere nearby music begins to play filling the backstage area. Saki perks up and jumps to her feet, dashing over to a curtain, peeking behind it. Her face lights up with what she sees. "Oh, wow! They're dancing!"

I stand and join her, peering out behind the curtain as well. A band has taken the stage and the dance floor is now filled with people in pairs slowly moving to the sounds of the instruments and notes.

I look over at Saki, her eyes wide and bright, the tears beginning to vanish, as she watches everyone twirl and spin, some better than others.

"We never had any school dances, Yamaku was always so uptight! Shizune may be stuck up, but she knows how to throw a party!"

She watches our classmates and it looks as if she enjoys watching them almost as much as they enjoy the dancing themselves.

Saki sighs, putting a hand on her cheek. "I loved dancing...."

"I remember you said that once."

Saki nods. "I wanted to be a ballerina. Then again, what girl doesn't? I know it was a stupid idea, but damn, I was good! I used to love dancing!" She smiles sadly. "I had to stop. I was dying and, well, I got too clumsy. Ended up hurting myself. I remember the last time I performed. My Father was in the crowd, even though he was already having chemotherapy. He made sure to be there to see me dance for the last time."

She continues to watch, her eyes sparkling from the lights and maybe more tears.
She smiles weakly.
"I wish I had lived to see this."

I look down at Saki and back out to the dancers.

I tap her on the shoulder and when she turns around I hold my hands up. "Saki, would you like to dance?"

She looks shocked that I would even ask and she glares at me defiantly. "Don't ask me that just to make me feel better, Hisao."

"I want to."

"Would you ask if I was just another returning student?"

"You are no normal student."

"Yeah, I'm your student. Kind of weird to want to dance with one of the kids you teach, you perv."

"Maybe I want to dance with an old friend."

"We were never friends, Hisao."

"We are now, aren't we?"

She shakes her head. "You don't even think I'm real."

"I don't have to think you're real now, but I do know you once were. Can't I have that?"

She gives me a calculating look. She goes from looking unsure to slightly embarrassed, rubbing the toe of her shoe into the floor, a pretty blush on her cheeks. "...you're sure Mrs. Nakai won't get jealous?"

I shrug and laugh. "I think it'll be okay."

She's still blushing, her eyes on the ground. "Well, if you really want to, I guess it would be a little nice."

I take her by the hands as a new song begins to play and the two of us begin to dance. It's nothing special, no grand moves, just two people moving to the sounds around them.

Saki's expression starts to soften as we continue and eventually she starts to smile. Half the time her are eyes closed, I'm sure fond memories playing behind her eyelids.

She starts to take more decisive steps, taking me along with the music as it begins to rise, the two of us moving in a large circle.

She looks up at me with a not completely sour look. "You're not that bad of a dancer."

I laugh. "I dance with Lilly a lot."

"You'd be better if you didn't have a blind partner."

I wince. "Harsh."

Saki nods with a smile. "But true. You're decent."

She begins to turn us in circles, her dress fluttering around her legs.

"Shouldn't I be leading?" I ask.

"I don't know; have you had any professional dancing lessons?"

"Well, no, but...."

"Then do as I say. Spin me. Fast."

I follow her command, extending my arm and letting her twirl before she pulls back close to me.

"Very good," she says. "Girls love it when you do that. Don't let any of them tell you otherwise."

The music nears it's end, the two of us dancing, Saki now fully in the lead and leaving me in her dust as we move. When it's over, the both of us stop and there is clapping and applause from outside. Saki is still holding my hands, looking down at the ground before turning up to look at me.

"Thank you, Hisao."

"You're welcome, Saki."

She looks at me oddly for a second. "You're a strange person. I never had someone be nice to me without expecting something in return. Most of the time, if it was a guy, they wanted sex."

She must see my expression, because her laugh is like crystal being shaken. "You're cute when you're nervous!"

She demurely kisses two of her fingers and presses them momentarily to my lips.

"I shouldn't have been so worried about appearances when we were in school. I think we would have been really good friends."

"We're friends now, Saki. That's what matters."

She nods. "Thanks Hisao. I do get lonely. It's nice to have a friend."

"So this is where you have been hiding," a voice says behind me.

I get a splitting stab of pain through my head and I wince, my eyebrow twitching from the discomfort.

Saki is gone, my hands empty, and I'm all alone backstage. I rub my temples as I turn around to see who spoke. Just like Saki did before, the woman behind me makes me shudder a little from her presence.

She has hair so white it's almost icy and her skin is pale enough to be just barely this side of healthy. Her dress is the same bleached colorlessness, making her look more in place in some serene, winter landscape than walking down a small flight of metal stairs towards me. Unlike many of the dresses I've seen tonight, hers is long and modest, revealing no leg or arm, long sleeves ending in gloves and a high collar hugging her neck. The most striking thing about her, though, are her eyes. They're red, not a sore, uncomfortable red, but a glittering one, like rubies or drops of blood.

"Are you hiding from the world again," Rika asks in a voice soft enough that it's almost a whisper. I can barely hear her speak over the ambient sounds.

I shake my head, embarrassed by her presence. "No, Rika. I'm not hiding. I just needed to take some time for myself after that."

She stops in front of me and watches me, never breaking eye contact, a strange intensity to the look. It makes me glance away from her several times.

"I wanted to speak with you, Nakai. Those were some very nice things you said about Enomoto. Most of them were untrue, but they were still very nice."

I nod. "Yeah, I guess she deserved to have someone speak out for her."

Rika nods in a matter of fact gesture. "She would have preferred you to have said them than me. Lies are easier coming from a stranger than someone who used to be a friend."

I wince at the tone of her words, how bluntly she says them. "That's not true. You and Saki were friends."

"During school, of course. We loved each other very much. Afterwards, I do not think so. Enomoto did not want me there when she passed. I do not blame her. She hated to appear vulnerable and I believe she thought she was doing me a favor. I am surprised I was allowed at the funeral at all. Then again, it was just the two of us to see her off, so I imagine our presence was required. Someone must pay the ferryman."

I nod, not answering. She's still giving me that look, that piercing, crimson gaze that used to creep me out in school and still does today.

"Are you uncomfortable around me, Nakai?" she asks, sounding genuinely curious.

"Maybe. A little."

Rika nods, seemingly satisfied with my answer. "I imagine I would. We have very similar conditions. I am an unwelcome reminder of your heart and I remember you were never as frank about it as I was. It seems that whenever you and I are near each other, we can not help but remind the other about our impending deaths."

She takes a moment to examine me. "You look very fit. Have you been taking care of yourself?"

"Yes, I've been trying."

"That is a good thing. Neither one of us can let our guard down or we will end up like Enomoto before you know it."

"I can see you haven't changed much since school," I say. I'm not sure whether I mean it as a compliment or not, but she seems to take it as such, because she nods in gratitude.

"That is good. I would not want to change too much."

She gives me a very level gaze.

"I would have liked you to have at least returned my calls. I would have appreciated someone to talk to about Enomoto after she was no longer with us."

"I know, Rika. I'm sorry. I was having a real hard time after she died and I didn't want to talk about it to anyone. It took me some time to even tell my wife about it."

"And how is your wife doing?"

I nod. "She's doing fine. We're both fine."

She gives me an understanding nod. "It is all right if there are things you do not want to talk to me about. I did not mean to pry. I am pleasantly surprised that you were able to speak about Enomoto in front of so many people, though. I think you may have accepted the burden she put on you. In a way, I am glad it was you she trusted and not me. I am not entirely certain if I would have been able to let her go the way you did. It required an impartial point of view. I am sorry if you do not feel the same way."

I fidget uncomfortably. "Um, yeah, sure. It's okay. You're welcome, I guess."

She gives me another one of those long, uncomfortable looks. "Hisao, I mean it."

There's a softness in her voice now, that formality melting away to show vulnerability and personality below. "Thank you for being there for Saki when she wouldn't let me be there for her. She needed someone and I'm glad it was someone like you."

I nod again, this time more firmly. "You're welcome, Rika."
I think for a moment before speaking. "I'm sorry you and Saki were not close at the end."

"That was her doing, not mine." The shield goes back up, that distance Rika keeps from everyone and everything surrounding her again. "I wished to be there for her. She did not want me. I left. It was a mutual breakup."

"Maybe so, but I think she was just scared. I think she would want you to know how thankful she was to you for being her friend. That she was sorry she pushed you away. How much she loved you."

"I do not think that is the case."

"I think it is."

She looks at me carefully and then nods. "You seem so sure. Very well. I am glad to hear it."

More footsteps come down the stairs. Looking over, I see Lilly and Hanako, arm in arm, carefully descend towards us. My heart picks up when I see the two of them and I smile.

Hanako smiles back at me. "We were wondering where you went, Hisao. Hello, Rika. It's nice to meet you again."

Lilly, one hand on Hanako's arm, the other carefully gripping the banister, smiles when she hears Hanako says my name. They soon join Rika and myself and I give my wife a kiss before taking her arm into mine.

"I'm very proud of you, Hisao," Lilly says.

I smile, my chest puffing up with the words. "I was worried. I promised I would embarrass you tonight."

She clings tighter to me. "Of course you didn't. I know how hard it was for you. I'm proud you spoke up about it."

I turn back towards Rika who has been watching the three of us very carefully. "Rika, you remember my wife, Lilly."

"Yes, Satou, I do remember. Though that isn't an appropriate surname any longer, I see."

Rika turns her eyes on Hanako suspiciously. "Ikezawa. You're looking very well."

"Thank you, Rika," Hanako replies, a little unsure of her tone.

Rika passes her eye between the three of us very carefully.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

Rika shakes her head. "No, nothing is wrong at all. I can see things are all right. I hope the three of you are very happy together. I hope you have a pleasant evening."

Rika turns and leaves, vanishing almost as fast as she arrived.

The three of us are left a little shocked by her sudden departure and the parting words as she left.

"What...what did she mean by that?" Lilly asks with a worried tone.

----------------------------------------

The three of us rejoin the party, the music still playing, the dance floor filled with couples, one of which is composed of myself and my wife, slowly dancing to the music. Hanako sits nearby at a table we've chosen for ourselves, watching us dance with a smile on her face.

Lilly presses herself very tightly to me, her arms draped over my shoulders, hugging me possessively. Lilly and I learned a long time ago that dancing was difficult for us, but by pressing together very closely, she could follow my movements with relative ease. Not that I don't mind being tightly pressed against my wife, of course.

Her arms around my neck, my hands on the small of her back, we sway together gently as one, lost in each others embrace.

"So, how did you enjoy tonight?" I ask.

She smiles and laughs a little. "It was very pleasant. I was able to meet many old friends I hadn't spoken to in years. It was quite enlightening to learn where everyone ended up after school. I met a few friends of my family in the Yamaku Foundation as well and that was...well, interesting, I'll call it."

"No trouble, I hope?"

Lilly smiles a little playfully. "No, not really. A friend of my Father's was a little...eager, to make my acquaintance again. He was very insistent on how attractive I had become."

I glare a little. "He was in the Foundation?"

"Yes."

"Who was it?"

"Now Hisao," Lilly says, patting my shoulder, "don't make any trouble. You're already going to be in trouble with the Foundation for that little stunt you played. And I handled it myself."

"What did you do?"

Lilly smiles, tilting her head to one side. "Oh, I just made mention of how pleased my Father would be to hear about how he was treating me. After that, I didn't hear from him all night."

I grit my teeth. "Well, I guess I can thank Hiroyuki for that at least."

She rubs my back, her fingers dragging up and down, smoothing away any feeling of anger or distress.

"It's all right. Never mind him or my Father. Other than that," she continues with a smirk "I had a lovely time."

"I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed yourself. I had fun too."

"So, you admit it was a good thing for you to be here tonight?"

I smile and nod. "Yes, you were right. I enjoyed myself."

She smiles as well, a little tilt to her eyebrow. "I'm glad you had fun. If your choice of attire was any indication, I was afraid you were going to cause a scene tonight. Hanako told me you took that horrid thing off before you went onstage. Thank you for that."

"Well, Shizune didn't like it either."

"I'd glad we agree on something. Where did you get the pants?"

"I'd rather not say."

Lilly giggles. "Well, that's all right. Perhaps it's better I don't find out. I feel like I should properly thank you, though. You did behave yourself admirably."

Lilly smiles and moves her hand along my back and down my arm, taking my hand into hers. She pulls close and pouts her lips. I answer by gliding my hand down to the curve of her dress and pull her towards me, kissing her, pressing our lips together softly and keeping them there, holding my mouth to hers, the gentle scent of her hair and the taste of her lips on my tongue.

We hold each other for the longest time as I take her kiss for my own, her whole body surrendering itself in my arms. It seems as if everything begins to move in slow motion, the music winding down, everything about the night coalescing down into this one, peaceful moment, the other dancers spinning us into the center of the universe.

We break the kiss, but not before Lilly playfully licks my lips which elicits a low, pleased rumble from my chest.

"Hanako told me what you did for her," she continues, entwining her fingers into mine and rubbing my knuckles, squeezing my empty ring finger. "That was a lovely gesture. I think it's a wonderful idea. We'll get a ring for her right away."

"I'm glad you approve. Though it got me into a little trouble tonight."

Lilly opens her eyes curiously. "Oh? Whatever do you mean?"

I ponder my words for a moment, considering what I should say to her. I've learned over the years that secrets are the bane of our relationship and I promised myself long ago to never to hide anything from Lilly as long as I lived.

"Are you ready?"

She seems a little worried, but is still smiling, that smile I never want to have leave her face or miss the sight of. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Let's see," I start. "I gave Hanako my ring as a sign of our love for her, that she was a part of our marriage. Then I caught up with some old buddies and Miki. She flirted shamelessly with me."

Lilly's expression turns dark. "Miki? Why that...."

"Let me finish. The flirting ended when she found out I was married. She didn't realize I was taken. After all, I wasn't wearing my ring, hence the flirting. Kenji was there and caught a few things about Hanako. He left in a bad mood."

Lilly looks worried. "Kenji...knows?"

"He does now," I say. "I had said some things to him before and he got suspicious. I went after him and learned Yuuko was here."

"Hmm," Lilly says. "I spoke to her. She seemed upset but didn't want to bother me with it. I didn't press her."

"Right. Kenji seeing her only made things worse when I found him on the rooftop."

"The rooftop? What was he doing up there?"

"Getting drunk and cursing the world, mostly. Like he always does. I tried to convince him into talking with Yuuko, but he turned the conversation back on me. He put two and two together about us and Hanako."

Lilly's face turns very red. "Is he...is he going to say anything?"

"No, of course not. He was pissed though. He said he was in love with her."

"Hanako?" Lilly sounds as shocked as I was when I learned. "They used to seem interested in each other, but I never thought he was in love with her."

"I think he wanted to be in love with her, but I'm not sure. He just doesn't want to admit he still has feelings for Yuuko."

Lilly winces in sympathy. "Poor Kenji. Is he all right?"

"He is now, though he almost wasn't. Neither was I."

I feel Lilly's hand tighten mine, squeezing my fingers. "What do you mean?"

I sigh, disappointed with myself. "We got into a fight."

"You yelled at each other?"

"Oh, there was plenty of yelling. But I mean a fight. A real fight."

Lilly gasps, holding me tighter than before. "What, what happened? Are the two of you all right?"

"Like I said, we are, but we almost weren't. I'm sorry, Lilly. I took a stupid risk tonight. Kenji nearly took a tumble and I knocked myself up pretty good in the chest. I had a bad episode before things calmed down."

Lilly hisses in worry and pulls me close, wrapping her arms around me and protectively clinging to me. "What kind of stupid...what is wrong with you?"

Her reproach stings more than I thought it would. "I'm sorry," I moan pitifully.

She holds me, one arm around my chest, the other holding my head close to her. "Hisao, you can't do these things to me! What would I do if something happened to you?"

"Lilly," I say, trying to comfort her. "I'm all right. It was a stupid mistake."

"You're damn right it was a stupid mistake!"

She's angry with me. She never swears unless she's either disappointed or furious with me and right now it's both. She squeezes me hard enough to hurt, clinging to me tightly.

"What would I do without you? I'd be lost!"

"That's not true, Lilly. You have Hanako now."

"I don't want Hanako! I want both of you! I couldn't go on if something happened to either of you! You can't keep doing this, Hisao, you can't!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. It was a stupid mistake on my part and I'm sorry for it. Please, I'm sorry."

She rests her head against my shoulder and sighs, her voice a little shaky. "You have to be more careful! You have me and Hanako now, Hisao. And soon we'll have a child! We're finally going to be a family! I've always wanted a family, a real one! Not one that lives thousands of miles away that I talk to on the phone every few weeks! A family, one that is near me, one that you and Hanako are a part of! I need you, both of you! I couldn't go on without either of you!"

I hold my wife close, running my fingers through her hair and down her back, pressing her into my embrace. "I know. I'm sorry. I promise you, Lilly, I'll never do something like that again. You're my whole world and I'll never do anything to risk that ever again."

She sighs and playfully slaps me in the chest, still upset with me. "Make sure that you do!"

I smile at her and kiss her once more, one hand on her cheek, brushing an errant strand of hair away from her face.
"Let me make it up to you," I say.

She smiles with just a hint of wickedness in the expression. "And how will you do that?"

I smile back at her. "Ready?"

"Ready for what?"

I extend my arm suddenly, spinning Lilly a few times who squeals in mock horror and real delight before I pull her in close again. She giggles and clings tighter to me than before, a hint of slight reproach behind her laughter. "Don't do that to me!"

"Liar, you loved it."

"And how would you know?" she teases me.

"All women love it."

"And who taught you that?"

"Same person who taught me the move."

"Anyone I should be jealous of?"

"Jealous? Absolutely not."

Lilly smiles and runs her fingers through my hair before bringing us together very slowly, finding my lips and kissing me once more.

Soon the music ends and the two of us are left on the dance floor, still holding one another.  Lilly smiles and gets a particular look about her face. "I think you should dance with Hanako next. I think she'd love it."

I look over at Hanako and she sees me, giving me a little wave and a smile.

"Maybe." I draw closer to Lilly. "But you want to know what I think?"

"What?"

I put my lips right next to Lilly's ears and I whisper to her. "I think I'd like to see the two of you dance together."

Lilly colors prettily. "Hisao...I don't know...."

"Why not? So what if there are people here? What is it except friends having a little bit of silly fun together?"

Lilly's face takes on several expressions as she thinks it over. "I'm not sure...."

I put a hand on her face. "You know, there was a time when I wasn't sure about what I was feeling and I didn't tell someone who meant the world to me just how important she was. I nearly lost the most beautiful woman in the world because I wasn't honest with myself and her, didn't show her what she meant to me when it mattered. I've already shown Hanako what she means to me tonight, Lilly. You should do the same."

Lilly listens to my words silently, thinking about what I'm saying. It takes a moment, but she smiles and nods. "You're right, Hisao."

Her hand, still entwined in my hair, tugs playfully. "Try not to look like your enjoying it too much."

The two of us walk arm in arm towards our table where Hanako sits. She smiles as we come closer. "I like watching the two of you dance," she says.

"Care to try it for yourself?" I ask her.

She smiles and holds her hand out to me, which I then place in Lilly's hand.

"Would you like to dance, Hanako?" Lilly asks.

Hanako looks surprised and takes a look around. "But Lilly, there are people...."

Lilly shakes her head. "I don't care. You're too important to pass an opportunity by to let you know how important you are to the two of us."

Hanako seems shocked. Lilly is so careful about appearances, what others think. Something like this is a major departure for her, a great risk and change. In some ways it's an open admission of her feelings. Though most may not understand how important the gesture is, the two of them do.

Hanako smiles and stands, holding Lilly's hand in her own. "I'd love too," she says.

I sit down at the table, watching my wife and Hanako go out onto the dance floor, a new song beginning to play.

As the two of them hold each others hands and begin to dance, playfully fumbling as they try to work out how to lead one another and move to the music, I'm reminded of all the things that have led me to the life I live, the people I have met along the way.

I mentioned it in my speech, but I am truly blessed to have so many friends who care about me. Had it not been for this place called Yamaku, I never would have met a single person I've spent time with tonight.

I see Miki and Suzu sitting at a table, surrounded by admirers. Miki laughs as she herds and corrals all of them, giggles and glances handed out like precious diamonds. Suzu looks a little out of place with all the attention on her, but a few gentle encouragements from Miki and she seems to be enjoying all the attention she gets soon enough.

Leaning against a tree, a pretty young lady on his arm, I see Akio with a glass of wine in his hand. We nod at each other and he raises the glass towards me, a good luck gesture for things to come.

On the dance floor, Takeshi and Molly are arm in arm, dancing a little clumsily, Takeshi from too much drink and Molly from her legs. Despite that, Takeshi looks genuinely happy and Molly looks as if she were falling in love all over again.

A cluster of well dressed people surround Rin Tezuka, showering her with questions. For Rin's part, she is the calm eye of the storm, letting the words wash over her, a small, peaceful smile on her face.
Butterflies and jars, I think to myself.

At a nearby table, Shizune and Misha are sitting together, their fingers alive with a flurry of signs and gestures when they are not holding hands. Every so often Shizune beams widely over some personnel comment and Misha laughs uproariously, the only sound coming from the silent conversation they share together happily.

Nearby, Hideaki is surrounded by a group of girls giggling and tittering around him and I even spy a few male waiters giving him glances. I'm not sure if it's the only reason why, but the little bastard is wearing my kilt. I'll have to get that from him sometime, but he looks to be enjoying it.

At the bar, Naomi and Natsume hold hands and look in each others eyes.

Emi and Nurse are talking with one another. Emi looks contrite, nervously taping her foot against the ground. She says something and Nurse explodes with exuberance, grabbing her and lifting Emi into a huge hug which causes her to squeal and grumpily try and break free from him.

Mutou leans against a wall, smoking a cigarette as privately as he can, the tiny flame cupped in his fingers like an old soldier. He has a cell phone to his ear and is talking to someone, a broad smile on his face.
I think I see him mouth the words, 'I love you, son.'

Carefully walking along a partition wall, a good and dangerous height above the ground, I see Rika dangling her legs out into open air daringly. Following close behind her is a dead girl I have become friends with.
Both of them are smiling at each other.

And finally, near the gates of Yamaku, I see a pretty redhead tightly clutching her purse looking for a face in the crowd.
Yuuko stands there, alone and lost, desperately trying to find that one person she wants to see more than anything. I look as well and I can't find Kenji either. The look on Yuuko's face breaks my heart as she turns and walks away, passing through the gates and leaving Yamaku for the final time.

Watching her leave alone, I realize that not everything concludes with a happy ending. Some choices you cannot take back, some paths you take cannot be redone. The choices you make are final and have to be lived with for the rest of your life.

Follow the girl.

Don't follow the girl.

Tell the truth.

Don't tell the truth.

Choices I had to make at one time, choices Kenji had to make and couldn't.

I wish there was something I could do to change the way things happened, but this was not my choice to make. It was Kenji's and he will have to live with it if he can.

I turn back to Hanako and Lilly and watch them for a very long time, the two dancing and laughing to each other as they clumsily move in unison. I find myself grateful for the choices I made that have led me here, the people I have met along the way.

I have cherished the opportunity to make new friends.

I am truly blessed.

The music ends once more and Hanako and Lilly join me at the table sitting down next to me, Lilly holding her hand up so that I take it in my own, Hanako holding the other.

A loud bang fills the air and all three of us nearly jump out of our chairs from the sound.
High above us, blasts of color and light fill the night sky, colors of red and green and blue flickering in bright circles and dying away in a riot of shapes and colors and sounds.

Every eye turns heavenward to watch the fireworks, dazzling in their short but glorious lives, sounds of exclamation and surprise rising up towards the clouds. Lilly smiles broadly and clings tightly to me and Hanako's dark eyes beautifully reflect the colors, dazzled as she is by their light.

I smile to myself.

"Come with me," I say.

Lilly looks up, her attention away from the booms and sounds high above. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

I take her hand and Hanako's and the three of us leave the party, walking along the sidewalk deeper into the grounds of Yamaku. I hurry them along, Lilly continuing to ask where I am taking them. Hanako is wondering as well, but when she sees the path we are walking, she smiles and begins to bring Lilly along as well, the two of us leading my wife along the path.

Soon, with the fireworks still ablaze in the sky above, the three of us enter a familiar garden and find a familiar little spot where we sit down on an old, familiar bench.

It's actually quite a nice place. Lit only by moonlight, it's tucked away some distance from the main events.

For minutes on end, Hanako and I watch the fireworks overhead and Lilly blissfully listens to them with her eyes shut.

Lilly rests her head on my shoulder and Hanako does the same.

"This place seems familiar," my wife says.

Hanako and I smile and the three of us enjoy the lights and sounds of the fireworks, revisiting that place we once were many years ago.

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After Party
http://pastebin.com/7HJsMY2T