Futuremmercials 2177 ALL Disclaimers

All of these were intergalatically typed, verbatim, from this video: https://youtu.be/IR9T5pwye18
Credit to “davyforce”!

Depending on what planet you live on, public parks can be extremely dangerous. Always carry weapons or be ready to fight or flee when exercising,

Hacky sacks or footbags may be illegal in your area. Always make sure your footbags have been secured at all times to prevent them from being sabotaged.

The bending of the knee in public is seen as offensive to certain cultures. Please use common sense when activating your leg joints around space people or creatures.

Yoga is a popular form of exercise made popular on Earth in the early 21st century. It’s name is derived from fermented milk with bacteria known simply as yogurt.

A very small percentage of people can become extremely unhappy or depressed when they learn their bodies do not bend like rubber or similar flexible materials.

This image is an animated video effect and is not intended to claim that the user of this product can manifest corporate logos in the sky. See website for details.

Always use the applicator stick when applying this product to your protuberances. If you don’t use the applicator you may be at risk of severe hiccups or worse.

The time it takes for this product to activate can vary wildly. In some patients the product may take up to 35 years to work. tThis product does not work for those named Phil.

The statistics listed here regarding the product are completely inaccurate. An arbitrary percentage was used to attempt to persuade consumers interest.

The human used for this scene had to be rushed to medical facility immediately following this demonstration as she had developed Wahfuls Krasielegs syndrome.

Toestenda BT is another ChemYum product and is available in three flavors: Manderin Orange, Jalapeño Pepper and Marshmellow Floof. See website for details.

Hacky sacking or footbagging may be considered by some to be a lame activity. Please use common sense when footbagging in public around people you want to impress.

Excitement level will vary drastically in users ranging from completely exuberant elation as depicted here to total lack of interest and boredom.

Always be cautious when flapping your rubberized arms as you could inadvertently slap somebody in the face which could lead to fighting or conflict.

Extreme happiness levels in users of this product may give the appearance that the person is possessed by demons or entities. See website for details.

Some users have difficulty maintaining composure when using this product. Do not use around sad events. Please abide by all rules and customs in your area.

Flexxlimbia Bendabonarobborzium salve is a product of the ChemYum Biological systems division and is fully licensed under Galactical & Interplanetary Laws.



Lil Labs Inc. is a multi-dimensional galactic corporation with a Class 9B Biosynthesis license. See website for details.

Use of electronic barriers are recommended indoors to prevent release of micro humans outside of your play area.

Microhumans generated with Mini Micro Monkeys are subject to all local territorial laws. Check your area regarding Microhumans.

Standard radioactive water is used in this commercial. Radioactive shielded stirring stick is included with MicroLife packets.

Reactions will vary. Based on common first-time reactions to Microhuman growth process.

Microhumans grown from standard MiniMicroMonkeys MicroLife packets range in height from 10-50mm in height

Microhumans are a protected species and are subject to anti-cruelty statutes in many locations. See website for details.

Mechanical ammenities require 4 class D PowerChips for operation.

Microhumans are neurologically blocked from perceiving players.

Always keep MicroMonkeys sealed in their biochamber. Use extreme caution in households with animal companions.

A typical day for MicroMonkey shoppers might include a stroll, shopping or a snack.

Violence can occur at any time between MicroMonkeys inside their biochamber. This is natural behavior of Microhumans.

This is a simulated reaction of a participant using this product. Laser eye effect is a computer graphic special effect.

MinMallMonkeys contain live Microhuman biocultures. Use only as directed.. Not available in AL,FL,KT,ME,HI,NM,RI and WI.

You must strictly follow all Galactical Laws regarding the care and keeping of Woofle space creatures. Please consult local authorities.

This product in no way shape or form claims that it can assist, enhance, engage, upgrade, activate, or irritate the magical qualities of these animals.

Please use extreme caution when using this product on or around a highly irritated woofle space creature experiencing severe agitation.

Never use this product in Methane or Ammonia atmospheres as this could result in exponential gassing and/or catastrophic explosion.

This product is strictly intended for small space creatures. It is forbidden to wear this scent as a full grown human, humanoid or equivalent being.

Never trust a Woofle when the mating sphere has been activated. To do so would be foolish and could create an unnecessary dilemma.

Whispers for Woofles fragrances are dedicated to not testing on space animals. This fragrance is tested on humans involuntarily for product safety.



Slymo Corp. cannot guarantee happiness or unmitigated joy for users of this product.

While the majority of Meat Buddy created entities are docile and well mannered, this may not be true of all meat creatures created with this product.

The XJ-45JJ-KU BM12 unit is capable of generating living creatures with up to 47 appendages, including up to 7 heads.

Meat Creatures with over 20 appendages may take up to 7-8 Klicheps, and hump based camel-like beings may take extra Klicheps to generate.

Please check all applicable bio-manufacturing laws in your subsector before operating this product.


This advertisement is intended only for high risk vacationers willing to potentially pay the ultimate price for the vacation of a lifetime.

BioCruisers Viral Vacations is a quazi sub-subsidiary of Vyper Industries Vacations unit PowerCruise division, a Frank Zomoonico Corporation.

Sea Critters are known to contain Borlimilinobofigenlicorvcrix, which is known to cause cancer in pregnant woofles.

Both seas are currently available for cruises however sometimes one or both need to be closed to remove massive amounts of garbage.

BioCruisers no longer sails to Landfill 4678 because of intermittent garbage explosions and potential for radioactive sea monsters.

Strangers are encouraged to bid farewell to the possibly doomed vacationeers as they set off on there excursions of death.

Standard security measures are set to assure no bioagents are accidently released to the world causing worldwide panademic.

All rooms come standard with in-room bioguard butler plus a stranger is assigned to you as your new roommate for the journey.

UV Lighting allows our guests to be assured that the surfaces and fabrics in their staterooms are thoroughly contaminated.

Unlike most hotels or cruiseships, our mattresses are never cleaned or changed out in order that they grow more bacteria.

Insects and Microcreatures are for observation only and are not to be taken home as pets or consumed as valuable protein.

Pools and Waterparks may possibly be guaranteed to contain every known deadly pathegen and harmful chemicals.

All food is robotically generated to maximize flavor and value. Orange Chicken and Beef Strogonoff May cost extra.

Waivers are required at the beginning of each meal to assure the indemnification of BioCruisers Inc. from all responsibilities.

Pestilence is a supurb choice for a discoteque where action meets status for the statusfaction of your party lifestyles.

This cocktail may contain ingredients that could be potentially harmful to your well being or could cause instantanious death.

Dancing or excessive horseplay is strictly forbidden on the expensive and complicated sailing equipment, including radar.

Biocruisers Inc. and BioRiver Ramshakle Corp. operate solely under express legal exception #34-4323G-M in Maritime Galactic Law.



Chichi & Goldmussel is a subsidiary of Larghusen Biggimeyer Master Offshore Holdings Ltd. a fully licensed shell corporation.

Our 12 Bedroom “La Villacle” model represents our nimblest option available, with up to 66 Bedrooms in other models.

XG Class system is avaialable exclusively for black card holders and those with a minimum of 599,000 social credit score.

MonstaCrib Extreme Mobile Manors are not licensed for safety by any governmental entity. Please use with extreme caution.

All slaves used to harvest natural rubber are disease-free and contain only modifications relevent to rubber harvesting.

MonstaCrib’s Extra-Carat Gold is mined on Melion 77 by envioronmentally stabilized robots using laser probes.

Mansion drivers must be of legal age to purchase alcoholic urine.

Powerplant output is equivalent 50,000 SpaceHorses on a monitored regimen of Nano Steroids. Engine Room in White Marble.

All diamonds, rubies, sapphires, opals and other gems come with a 5 year / 50,000 Mile Guarantee.

MonsterCrib Mobile Manor is not authorized for public roadways. Please respect all local traffic laws.

MonsterCrib recommends staying indoors at speeds over 60 km/hr. Occupants should consider using safety restraints.

Please use extreme caution when using outdoor and yard areas when operating the ridecastle at speed.

Do Not use outdoor pool area when lightning strikes are present. Shamborquinis sold separately.

Ask about our DH2 Dual Horse option featuring competition grade genetically modifired thoroughbred equines and stable.

Chichi & Goldmussel is a subsidiary of Larghusen Biggimeyer Master Offshore Holdings Ltd. a fully licensed shell corporation.


Exercise for demonstration only. Corejacker GBDB does not require any exercise to achieve results.

While you can exercise using Corejacker GBDB, most users use when resting or watching television.

Users of Corejacker GBDB must sign a Genetic Alteration Agreement before product is unlocked to your DNA print.

Corejacker GBDB can cause irreversible changes to your body. Carefully review all materials before use.

AB Sub-Zones are only available in humanoid lifeforms born after 07Day01. Consult website for compatible species.

The “Sit-Ups” dance move was long ago done as a form of exercise to build strength and endurance.

DO NOT ATTEMPT these dangerous stunts without rigorous and repeated Corejacker CGDG use.

Corejacker GBDB is a semi-hyper regulated bio-modification device and is governed under POLSPEC Galactic Law.



For Humans Only. Designed for individuals with over 50% Earth DNA. Avoid use with other lifeforms.

Complies with all Federation Biological Nanotechnology standards. Please dispose of nanofibers responsibly.

Results may vary. Please see a physician if your brain is extremely dry. Some events may not allow transneural biostimulation.

Not a Simulation. This is actual imagery of the product  exploring the brain of a satisfied customer.

Under no circumstances use Brain Wipes before operating Telekinetic equipment or amplifiers.

Use only as directed. Not recommended in areas with municipal population behavioral modification systems.



2,500 1st minute. 42,000 each additional minute. Additional transplanetational rates apply. Must be 622 zzeanaepz to call.

Blobline is a corpropublic service of The Winchingtool-McKorplecton Videophone Alliance



This paid promotional video cluster has been produced by the Council of Slightly More Betterment and Vyper Industries Conglomerated Inc.

Quazi-Domination refers to an almost total domination of the corporate conglomerated industrial business sphere but actually not quite

Magnitude when referenced by this video presentation has nothing to do with magnets, although those are very cool as well.

Vincent Lambo Ferrari Jr. is a licensed CEO registered to do business within most galaxies excluding UX-33, Beefozo Wif & Lubbitrazzler JJ-2.

Vyper Megaconglomerate Holdings Ltd. requires all employees and executives to be trained in the seven most deadly martial arts.

In official business rankings journals and reports Vyper MultiConglomerate has always ranked less than first place for the last 47+ years.

Vyper’s clothing and fashion divisions include Foilpants Pro+, Grundies brand excrement proof underpants, & Ploppers SquishiSocks

In total there are 13,742 corporations, businesses, religions, patented fads and secret organizations under the Vyper umbrella.

Vyper offers a sufficient alternative to the highest quality top level products and solutions for those who do not want the very best.

Do not attempt these intense martial arts moves without training. To do so could result in permanent injury or death.

Companies rankings are based on how many stars received on current sical networking review platforms. Vyper has never received four stars.

Executives of Vyper owned subsidiaries are required to excrete unbridled confidence twice every morning after consuming coffee.

No silver medals have ever actually been awarded to any of Vyper’s companies or products except on one occasion and it was rescinded.

Employees of Vyper owned corporations are required to get the Vyper logo branded on their forehead when reaching senior level executive.

Operations are currently standing by for your inquiries and by standing we actually mean sitting as our guidlines require operators to sit at all times.

Rockets and rocket fuels can be extremely dangerous and should only be used by consumers who follow recommended safety precautions.

Vyper Corporate Industrial Group is a clandestine subset of the Hexilaterial Commission and the Alliance Council on Galactic Profiteering



GROB must be stored in accordance with all Multiversal Code Lass and in strict compliance of QuasarDrive propulsion isolation requirements

“#4 Sustenance Resource in the Universe”, According to a Lombekquak Innerspace Emedia Systek poll sampling .03% of Central Galaxy surface and subsurface advanced civilizations.

This is a computer simulation of the atomic makeup of GROB and does not represent it’s actual atomic structure and mechanisms.

This animated illustration represents only the tastes, flavors and textures that GROB can convey to neuralogical systems and not its actual appearance.



Paid for by the Commitee to Elect Chobba Da Prez Geomagnetic Mind Machine Assembly Consortium and Space Raisins



Images on the television are simulated and do not represent the actual picture quality of the vintage television equipment advertised here.

General happiness depicted is simulated and represents possible happiness that could be experienced by some guests when not using severe medication.

A VYPER Industries Intergalactical Sub-Sanctioned Assisted Living colony for humans and humanoids over the age of 255. Some assembly required.

Nu-Florida is a repurposed waste collection island pending health & safey requirements approval. See website for details.

DLC-1 is a deep space planetoid under the authority of The Universal Space Commission and Cruster’s Mutant Restaurants, Inc.

Nuclear powered personal mobility scooters may become unstable and leak toxic radioactivity or spontaniously explode.

Support vegetables are grown naturally in robotic chambers to achieve maximum juiciness and freshness.

Boomerdale’s cottage cheese is made from dehydrated space horses and may contain bits of hoof or horselips.

Dancing requires a special safety permit available from guest services. River dancing is strictly prohibited.

Complimentary milkshakes are available every Friday, however they may contain remains of previous residents of Boomerdale.

Boomerdale applications for residency are subject to background checks which could potentially lead to an applicant’s incarceration.

Boomerdale facilities contain chemicals and materials which are known to cause cancer or death in woofles and other small creatures.



Pulsing lavatory flush mechanisms such as SeptiDyne™ brand of excrement tubes have proven to be extremely dangerous.

Studies have indicated that there is either a Power Bulge in your receptor suit or you are happy to see me.

Standard Kitchen Protein Reformulators such as Meat Buddy™ brand of appliances have been proven to be extremely dangerous.

Zeldrok & Zeldrok is a fully licensed Intergalactical law firm in the tri-galactical area servicing Belazar, Klonifia, Crog, Lombor29, Pols Ector, Lxnxxpx, Weziziq Dar, Cruj40-J and surrounding space platforms.

Zeldrok & Zeldrok is a fully licensed bonded & insured Intergalactical law practitioner