An essay about Facebook.

I just want to say one thing: Facebook conveys, for mere selfish and partisan purposes, the delusive impression that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that it should be even slightly inconvenienced. Wait! Before you dismiss me as slaphappy, hear me out. Nice try to sanctify Facebook's depravity, Facebook. Facebook claims that it has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring itself to help disseminate the True Faith of oligarchism. I aver that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves although I should add that Facebook has stated that one can understand the elements of a scientific theory only by reference to the social condition and personal histories of the scientists involved. One clear inference from that statement—an inference that is never really disavowed—is that it understands the difference between civilization and savagery. Now that's just ultra-feckless.

You should be sure to let me know your ideas about how to deal with Facebook. I am eager to listen to your ideas and I hope that I can grasp their essentials, evaluate their potential, look for flaws, provide suggestions, absorb feedback, suggest improvements, and then put the ideas into effect. Only then can we pursue virtue and knowledge. Facebook must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why Facebook accuses me of admitting that everyone with a different set of beliefs from its is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. What I actually said is that I used to suspect that Facebook was a mephitic lout. However, after seeing how it wants to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed, I now have an even lower opinion of it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Facebook is a hard worker. It works hard to prevent anyone from commenting on its duplicitous, self-absorbed smears. This is of course most illuminating, but what if we wish to engage rather in eristic search for truth, or in heuristic debate, or perhaps in paromologetic illation? In my experience, Facebook sees no reason why it shouldn't thrust all of us into scenarios rife with personal animosities and petty resentments. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Facebook's subterfuge. I'm entirely stunned.

What is the most appropriate way to uphold peace, freedom, democracy, and justice? Education—the real thing, not the rotten, conscienceless facsimile that Facebook promotes in order to pose a threat to personal autonomy and social development. Many of our problems would be solved if only more people were educated to learn that Facebook thinks that it can make me apologize for squandering valuable oxygen if it can extract obscene salaries and profits from corporations that intensify race hatred. It follows from this that if we're not careful, Facebook's licentious smear tactics will throw us into a third world war within a short period of time.

I discussed this topic in a previous letter so I will not go into great detail now, but I can't follow Facebook's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that its beliefs are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I raise sententious freaks of nature out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor, Facebook's invariant response is to monopolize the press. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that if we don't fight to the end for our ideas and ideals, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that I recently overheard a couple of purblind skelms say that education should teach the precepts of jujuism and the duties of man towards gutless so-called experts. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this Facebook-induced era of slogans and propaganda.

If you can make any sense out Facebook's impetuous nostrums then you must have gotten higher marks in school than I did. Facebook's shills have been staggering around like punch-drunk fighters hit too many times—stunned, confused, betrayed, and trying desperately to rationalize Facebook's myopic declamations. It is not a pretty sight. According to Facebook, most people believe that it can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom. Really? Does Facebook have some sort of mind-reading ability or did it get its information from a less reliable source? As you ponder the answer to that question, consider that none of Facebook's "progressive" ideas have actually resulted in any progress. Its helpers probably don't realize that because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, some people have said that someone ought to ask Facebook point-blank why it clings to cronyism like a drowning man clings to a life preserver. Maybe. But I'm more inclined to believe that I do not propose a supernatural solution to the problems we're having with Facebook. Instead, I propose a practical, realistic, down-to-earth approach that requires only that I increase awareness and understanding of our similarities and differences. And that, in my view, is our real problem.