Rock-her Knock-ers

Not mine, some glorious bastard wrote this. It was worth saving.


>"Pssst! Hey, Anon!"
>A tightly folded paper football bounces off your temple and plops onto your desk.
>"Ms. Cheerilee has great knockers, pass it on!"
>Raise hand.
>"Ms. Cheerilee, do you have great knockers?"
>A hush falls over the classroom.
>Every single classmate turns at stares at you with a look of complete incredulity.
>They all knew the auts had left you with no filter, but you've never mustered the balls to say something like this before.
>Cheerilee becomes flush and gapes at you from the front of the class.
>Suddenly the history of the mysterious ancient Sea People didn't seem quite so enthralling to her.
>Cheerilee blinks, struggling to find a graceful response.
>"A-Anon, that's incredibly inappropria-"
"Cause I think you do."
>"..."
"You got rockin knockers, Ms. C."
>"..."
"For real now."
>Your teacher grows a deeper shade of red.
>Your female classmates start to blush too, each one adopting a rictus of disgust.
>But the best among them sported kiwis on their chests so you didn't really care.
>Your male classmates furtively nod in approval and shoot you thumbs up from across the room.
>You took little notice of either as you sat at your desk letting your stream of consciousness flow out to the sea of the classroom.
>Cheerilee made you speak again.
>"Anon, to the Principal's office right thi-"
"God, what I would do to them."
>"W-what?"
"I mean, if I could, and maybe I can, I don't know, it's up to you, but I'm saying that if I COULD, I would slap them baps all day long. Like "smacksmacksmack", you know what I'm saying, Ms. C?"
>You placed a hand forward and swatted it back and forth to drive home your meaning in case she didn't get it.
>"Ah...I..."
"Yeah, you know, I hear that doing it too rough can hurt. I mean, my melons aren't half so fine as yours so I don't really know, and believe me I've tried, but I bet you I can make it feel really good."
>"..."
"Come on."
>"..."
"Smacksmacksmack"
>You absolute madman.
>The classroom held its breathe in anticipation of Cheerilee's response.
>And judging by the balled fist she had trembling by her side it was sure to be swift and merciless.
>You sat dead eyed and expressionless as your male companions bid you a silent final farewell and whispered "Peace be with you".
>The girls smirked, those prepubescent trollops.
>And then it came.
>Cheerilee opened her clenched jaw.
>"You...you...absolute pig! How dare you?! How DARE you speak to me in such a way! I have never been more embarrassed in all my life and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
>You weren't.
>"Never in all my days have I ever been more disrespected! I will NOT suffer anymore of this humiliation!
>Jeez, you've never seen someone so unwilling to take a compliment before.
>"Now you march yourself down to Celestia's office lickety split!"
"I'd like to lickety YOUR split."
>"..."
"..."
>"..."
"What?"
>You cocked an eyebrow at your teacher's new found look of shock and disbelief.
"Oh...you mean you didn't know? Oh God yeah, Ms. C, the sleeze you got between your knees? I would wreck that."
>"I..ah..."
"Like, you know last week when you were teaching us about the Visigoth's sacking Rome? Yeah, that's what I would do. Only instead Rome is your minge and the barbarians are my dick."
>"B-bu-"
"Would be intense. You ever had your box razed to the ground?"
>"I-"
"You want it to be?"
>"..."
"Cause, like, I don't know or care what Rarity tells everyone, I can deliver. Deliver it hard. Up to you, though, of course, but I'm just saying I'm a skilled farmer."
>"Oh my Go-"
"I'll plough your field."
>"..."
"Work your Fertile Crescent"
>"..."
"Do the horizontal bop."
>"..."
>She wasn't getting it.
>You put up a finger to beg for a moment and scribble on a tear of paper.
"Right, well, here's my card. We'll bang, okay?"
>You recognized that wide eyed stare.
>Yeah, she was totally digging you.
>You waggled your "card" aloft, back and forth, expecting Cheerilee to collect it.
>She didn't budge, however.
>In fact she just stood there.
>You hadn't sold her.
>Yet.
>You sighed internally
>You knew you had to up the ante.
>A few more compliments should do the trick.
>You cleared your throat.
"Ahem...Ms. Cheerilee?"
>It almost looked like she cocked an eye brow in attention.
"Ms. C...I've been on the internet."
>She blinked.
"What I'm saying, Ms. C, is that I have seen a LOT of vaginas in my day. I've imagined them in all sorts of sizes, shapes, and technicolor skin shades. Some are nice, some are hairy, some may as well be named Chewbacca. But I don't think you have to worry about that, Ms. C. You see, I've pictured your lower lips. Often. And I have to say kudos, Ms. C, like DAMN. From the pure speculation going on in my noggin you have quite the fine beaver."
>Cheerilee stared blankly.
>Time to go in for the kill.
"Now Ms. C, I'm willing to make you an offer you won't want to turn down. Now since teachers have no life outside of the classroom I'm willing to give your nether region some much needed attention. You get me?"
>"..."
"Why, some have said I'm a cunning linguist. And I am willing to practice my skills on you."
>"Anon..."
"Now I know what you're thinking: what skills does he have? Well, Ms. C, I'll have you know I have eaten several jelly donuts in my day and it's basically the same technique, right? Yeah, you open it up and lap your tongue from bottom to top, being sure to lick up all the jelly."
>You pantomimed your winning doughnut eating technique.
"But you gotta be careful! A gentleman licks lovingly around the outside and then thrusts his tongue into the middle like a champ. It's a skill and an art and I have it. And it can be yours, Ms. C."
>She was speechless. You had hooked her.
"Oh, and if it's a question of "freshness", don't worry. I've had worse things in my mouth."
>"OH MY GOD!"
>A voice cried out from a corner of the room.
>Rarity was on her feet, face red to match every other girl in the room, fists clenched and trembling something aweful.
>"ANON! I can not bear to witness this sexist, misogynistic, chauvanistic charade ANYMORE! How can you speak to your teacher, no, ANY woman like like that?! Oh, we all know your a special one, Anon, but this has gone too far! Your licentious ramblings simply MUST stop THIS INSTANT!"
>You blinked
>This silly bitch.
>Everyone in class held their breath in anticipation.
>You leaned back in your chair and sighed.
"I'm sorry, Rarity...I would like to respond, but...the last time I was caught talking to a child I wound up having lemonade and cookie time with Chris Hansen."
>"I am NOT a child!"
"Those clementines stuffed in your shirt tell me otherwise. Now I ain't gay, you hear? I don't go for fruits. Nah, I only speak to real women. Like Ms. C. Have you seen her knockers? Now those marvelous mams I could bap all day and they'd still be perfect. Yours I would puncture with a poke and watch OJ begin to stain your shirt."
>"Why yo-"
"Do you got booty, Rares?"
>"W-what?!"
"Booty. You got it?"
>"I-"
"Course you don't. Seeing you twerk is like watching two lean hams falling down stairs."
>"Well I never-"
"Will bring anyone to the yard with that chocolate milk you're hauling. Ever. Now Ms. C on the other hand..."
>You round your gaze back upon your teacher.
>She looks almost frightened.
"Now SHE'S got a milkshake. And I'm all up in that yard. I mean talk about bodacious buns! I bet you if I could afford to own a quarter I could bounce that thing right off her curves and send it into space. Aliens would find it as their first point of contact from our species. Can you launch the Great Booty Contact Coin, Rarity? Didn't think so."
>Silence.
"And also your SJW Feminazi propaganda is raping my free speech. Eat a steak, Fashion Bones."
>You spit in her general direction
>You craned your neck and surveyed the room.
>Everyone's eyes were fixed upon you.
>The whole room was a reservoir of shock and baited expectations.
>And even...disgust.
>You felt oddly alone.
>Cheerilee broke the silence and in a very calm voice spoke.
>"Anon. You need to go the Office. Now. No more of this nonsense. No more verbal assaults against students. No more sexual harassment. Office. Now."
>You looked around and read the faces of your classmates hoping for some support.
>But all remained silent and resigned.
>You frowned and shook your head.
"So this is it, huh? This is the world we live in?"
>You sighed again and slowly rose from your chair.
"You know...a black man once had a dream. He believed in it so hard that he made it not only his reality, but everyone's. Yeah, someone later rejected his reality with a bullet, but the point is this: that we can make our dreams real if we talk loudly enough for long enough."
>You paused for dramatic effect.
>A single tear welled in your eye.
"I, too, have dreams. And no, I don't just mean the ones that turn my bed sheets into a slip n slide. No, I dream that we can live in a society where one can speak freely without fear of social reprisal. Our minds and thoughts are sacred things. Why should we stifle ourselves?"
>You climbed up on your desk and looked around the classroom.
"Why can't we just tell people how we feel? What we think? Why is that so bad? We can be free, if we want! Free to tell people what we like about them. That we love them and appreciate them. That they have rockin knockers and that it is a compliment!"
>You throw your hands up to rally your audience.
"What say you?! Who is with me?! Will you be sheeple, forever bound by your own fears and anxieties? Or will you take charge and let the true you shine through?! Who is with me?!"
>Fist raised in the air you waited for a response.
>Silence.
>Cheerilee spoke.
>"Anon...it's time for you to-"
>"I'm with you..."
>Attention turned to the mousey voice that rose.
>That wall-eyed girl that everyone picked on slowly rose from her chair.
>"I'm with you, Anon. I am. And...and I want to say..."
"Go on, let it out!"
>Cheerilee looked incredulous and shook her head.
>"Muffins, don't you-"
>"I want to say that Octavia has the nicest, most kissable lips in the entire school!"
>A collective gasp escaped from your peers.
>Octavia grew red in what you were sure as flattery.
"Muffins, you cock eyed carpet muncher! Tell us more!"
>Empowered and blushing, the slightly-more-special-than-you student went on.
>"I think about kissing them all day long! And I want to...you know, DO things to her!"
"What kind of things?"
>"Sexual things! The kind of things that Nun's beat good girls for doing! Like touch her butt and...and...take her to Olive Garden so we can have breadsticks and I'll pay for all of it! And later I can brush her hair while we lick eachother's tongues!"
"Muffins you filthy little deviant!"
>She blushed hard and made what you think was a wink towards the mortified British exchange student.
>"Hey! I'm with you, too!"
>And up stood Big Mac.
>"I'm with you, Anon! I'm tired of standing around sayin' nothin'! I have something to say and I"m going to say it! And I have always thought that Fluttershy has the most sumptuous behind this side of 4th period. The things I imagine doing to that ass would make a fetishist faint! I'm mean going REAL rough, you hear?"
"I hear you, my inbred brethren!"
>"Uhm, I guess, well...I'm with you too, Anon..."
>Fluttershy rose timidly, her eyes downcast."
>"I'm with you because...those things Big Mac said...sound really, really nice."
>Another gasp from the room.
"I always knew that under the meek mask was an anal enthusiast waiting to take one for the team...or in this case Big Mac. Welcome to the party!"
>The rest fell like dominoes after that.
>"I'm with you!"
>Treehugger mummbled.
>"I'm with you, too!"
>Rainbow Dash said proudly.
>"Me too!"
>Flash Sentry cried.
>One by one your classmates stood, pledging their emancipation from social obstacles and declaring their greatest desires.
>It was a sight to behold.
>Cheerilee stood stricken at the chalkboard.
"Come on now everybody! Free your tongues! Never again be afraid to say what you want to say! You see a nice ass you let them know! Think their pussy smells great? Give them a thumbs up and maybe a few fingers in the broom closet afterwards! Nice cock? Why thank you ma'am! And always. always be willing to acknowledge a pair of awesome tits when you see them!"
>The classroom cheered.
>Paper planes, hats, and a single pair of muffin-print panties were tossed into the air.
>You rounded on Ms. Cheerilee.
"And I have to say, Ms. C, that you still got some rockin knockers."
>You winked.
>She shuddered.
>"Do it, Anon! Rock 'em! Rock her knockers!"
>"Rock her knockers!"
>The cheer was taken up.
>The chanting filled the classroom.
>Many students hopped upon their desks and pumped their fists to the beat.
>"ROCK-HER-KNOCK-ERS!"
>"ROCK-HER-KNOCK-ERS!"
>You smiled at the teach and shrugged.
"Well if you insist."
>You hopped deftly from your desk and strutted up to your teacher.
>Ms. Cheerilee was frozen save for her eyes, which followed you, staring dagger as you approached.
>You stopped right before her and turned on your heel back to the class.
"I think it's time we gave Ms. C the appreciation she has always deserved. What do you think?"
>The class shouted in approval.
>You spun back around and in one deft movement swiped something from your teachers desk.
"I do declare that on this day that Ms. C's knockers is the rockinest rack EVER!"
>You pressed the item you had taken quickly onto Cheerilee's exposed v-neck chest.
>You lifted the piece and read the red stamp it left behind alound.
"A-fucking-plus!"
>The class exploded into uproarious cheering and applause.
>Some of the more amorous students began to make out.
>Muffins began dancing atop her desk, her underwear having long ago been tossed away.
>Rainbow Dash and Gilda sneaked into the broom closet.
>It was an orgy of freedom and you were Caligula, nodding at your creation.
>You turned to face your teacher once more and bask in the glow of her perfect body.
>You were met with a look that could only be described as a rictus of unfathomable repressed rage.
>Her hands were balled into fists and shaking violently.
>You never saw it coming.
>Her hand flashed across your face faster than a virgin nutting for the first time.
>The room fell silent again in the wake of the echoing crack.
>You stood dumbstruck, cheek ablaze and stinging fierce.
>Cheerilee, for her part, very quickly dropped her face of anger and adopted, instead, one of severe disbelief.
>And then...dread.
>"Shit..."
"Okay, not going to lie Ms. C, that was...pretty hot. Do you mind if..."
>You turned your other cheek towards her.
"Could you?..."

>Later you found yourself sitting outside Principal Celestia's office.
>You were very pleased that you weren't alone.
>Cheerilee took the seat right beside.
>She looked absolutely miserable.
>For your part, you would smile more brightly, but both of your cheeks hurt pretty badly.
>You idly kicked your legs as you waited in silence.
>Now was the time to go for the kill.
"Soooo...Ms. C. I know you probably have a lot of things going through your head right now. Hitting a student and all."
>She glowered at you and pouted miserably.
>You smiled at the A+ stamp still on her chest.
"Do you have Netflix, Ms. C? What I am saying is that you're likely going to have A LOT of free time on your hands soon. And hey, wouldn't you know it, I will too! Why, we could spend LOADS of time together! It'll be great! And I already know where you live so we're pretty much half-way there to putting on some Marvin Gay and letting me heal you sexually."
>She narrowed her eyes at you.
"Or not. Up to you. Consent and what not. But all I'm saying is that...c'mon, what else are you going to do once you're fired?"
>The door to the office opened and Celestia loomed in the doorway.
>"Cheerilee, come in please."
>Cheerilee visibly deflated and made to rise.
>You stopped her, grabbing her by the arm.
'Wait! Before you go..."
>You retrieved something from your pocket and pressed it into her hand.
"Keep it secret. Keep it safe."
>She opened her palm and blinked at the hastily scribbled "card" you had made earlier.
>Her eyes slowly rose to meet your smiling face and rosy red cheeks.
>And with a wink and thumbs up you sent her on her way.
>Before Celestia's door closed you got one last line to her.
"And Ms. C?"
>She turned just in time to catch something you had tossed her.
>She cocked an eyebrow at the B+ stamp in her hand.
"Give it to Celestia. May she know that you'll always be a grade above her."
>As the door closed you swear you saw the makings of a smile.

FIN