Sombra vs. Anon

>Day Waifu War in Equestria
>This is it.
>You've gone through countless hordes of Sunfags in order to get to this point.
>You even took out that faggot who kept shouting 'Praise the Sun!' and genuflecting to Celestia's perch at every opportunity.
>But now, you face your greatest challenge.
>As you stand on the other side of the arena, you see the smoke begin to billow in
>Wild and formless, tendrils of inky blackness whip about for several seconds before coalescing into a monstrous single-horned visage.
>"CRYSTALS!"
>The stadium shakes as the voice of the former Crystal King sends ponies into a cowering mess under their seats.
>But you stand firm and glare at the giant face.
>It snorts once before condensing into a smaller, more edgy form.
>Great black and red crystal spines erupt from his equine frame, looking like something straight out of the sonic fandom back on earth.
>From her post high above the arena, Celestia calls down to the two of you.
>"Champions! Now begins the final challenge for my love!"
>Both of you turn towards the Princess of the Sun, though keeping a wary eye on one another.
>"You have done well to make it to this point, but this is your last chance to become my hero, along with all that entails."
>It's difficult to tell, but you think she winks at you.
>Sombra makes a grunting sound and the two of you resume glaring at one another.
>Celestia pays no mind as she turns her attention to the far end of the arena and bobs her head once.
>You turn towards the guards stationed there in front of a large, golden-yellow wheel.
>"My little ponies, turn the Sun Dial that we might see what the final challenge will be!"
>One of the guards nods and lifts his hoof.
>Pulling down hard on the wheel, you watch as it clatters about, shaking wildly from side to side as you await your fate.
>This continues on for several seconds, and when it shows no signs of slowing, you turn your attention towards Sombra.

"You're going down, blockhead."
>The former king grunts and growls, sneering as he responds
>"Hng, grr, crystals..."
"Heh, dork."
>The stallion looks like he wants to say something else, but the clattering begins to die away as the wheel slows, drawing both of you back to your fates.
>At last, it settles down, and the guard takes a look at where it stopped.
>A hush falls over the crowd as he turns back to Celestia and cries out.
>"It... it's challenger's choice!"
>The ponies begin to whoop up a frenzy, stomping their hooves and whinnying like wild beasts.
>Your heart thuds away in your chest as you turn to Celestia with a big grin on your face.
>The Challenger, that's...
>Celestia meets your gaze with a small smile and bobs her head.
>"Then, Anonymous, as Sombra has participated in these events before, that means you are the challenger."
>The stallion sniffs and snorts, grumbling 'slaves' under his breath, but you really couldn't care about him.
>This is your chance.
>You have to pick your challenge carefully to maximize your ability to win.
>A game that you wouldn't be able to lose at...
>As you close your eyes to think, you can feel the tension in the arena building.
>They're waiting.
>All of them.
>Waiting on you.
>A thin sheen of sweat breaks out on your palms as you consider and reconsider your options.
>At last, Celestia clears her throat.
>"Anonymous, do you have a challenge? Or will you default the decision to Sombra?"
>Nodding your head, you smirk.
"I do. Though I think I'll need to explain the rules to my rival here."
>Celestia bows slightly and allows you to take the stallion aside and explain the rules of the game.
>It takes a few minutes, but after several affirmative grunts, you're pretty sure he's got it.
>Perfect.

>Stepping away, you call up to Celestia and the crowd.
"This is an ancient game from my homeworld; with this one game, even the smallest of children can topple the strongest of adults, rendering them weak and powerless!"
>A ripple of excitement goes through the crowd and you can see some of them leaning forward to get a better view.
>You turn to Sombra and give him a smirk.
"It wouldn't be sporting if I didn't give you a chance to walk away before I shame you in front of all these ponies."
>The stallion snorts and shakes his head.
>"Ugn, ragh!"
>Oh well, it was worth a shot.
>The two of you set yourself some ten paces apart.
>You square your shoulders, and Sombra shifts his weight onto his hind legs.
>Bringing up your hands, you watch as the once crystal king does the same with his hooves.
>A single nod and the two of you begin.
>One beat.
>The crowd goes still
>Two beats
>You hold your breath
>Three beats
>Sombra's eyes narrow to pinpricks
>You grin.
"SHOOT!"
>"CRYSTALS!"
>Both of you thrust out one of your limbs.
>Your hand is a flat plane, a salute level with your chest.
>His upturned hoof is decorated with a fine crystal shaped sphere.
>The seconds pass and Sombra looks at his hoof.
>Fear crosses his face as you trot over and place your hand over the ball before leaning close to him and whispering.
"Paper. Covers. Crystals."
>"FNAR!"
>Sombra howls, dissipating into smoke as the crowd roars in approval.
>You take several long bows at each corner of the stadium before turning back to Celestia.
>Finally, it was over.
>You'd won.
>And now, your prize...
>Today was a good day to go up against a species that don't have fingers.