dev 1 - self harm

Escaping somewhere entirely else was the plan. Seeing so many already with specific magic running through them, with so many teachers that were doing everything possible to ensure they become successful in life.. partially, Nerin even felt envious about that. How come nobles born into rich families could afford themselves such easy education? How come they had to struggle so much?

'The fun isn't in having, it's in the getting.'

That's a phrase that Nerin had to remind himself constantly. Of all things out there, there was lots that they had to accomplish before they could even hope to actually rival such people. Day by day, however, he worked- even with his hands covered in callouses, with his knuckles already bleeding, with his exhausted posterior screaming at him to just lay down and rest..

No. He'd have none of that.
Not until he's done.

"Now that we're far away enough..."

His gaze turned to Lax. It was a nifty spot- they were training right beside the waterfall of the river, one that was falling into the sea, followed by the ocean. Ominous trees stood nearby upon the stone hill, the breeze of colder environment and the bliss of sun's rays shining upon them.

"I want you to help me train with bone magic. I heard it's fairly dangerous, and that the first step usually comes in looking within - in manipulating your own body."

"Remember how I told you about the guy dislocating his shoulder..?"

He spoke out. Hopefully, he were to catch on.
(Nerin)

Lax would slowly come back to his senses after having encountered the true power of Nature for the first time, and how marvellous it could be. Whilst letting Nerin speak, he would make a few ideas inside of his head of how he could put his own Magic in practice, while aiding his friend.

He had a theory, but it was nothing concrete or palpable, not yet at least. "I see and yes, I remember, I was there, Nerin." - he'd answer, taking a good glance at their surroundings - while the green of the grass was indeed quite attractive for the young mage, he could not deny the existence of the corrupted land, which almost even pained him on a spiritual level.

It did not matter now - there is nothing he could do for it, and there was nothing he felt the need to do yet. "What is your idea?" - he'd ask, humming for himself, still deep in his thoughts over the ways he could test his next studies.

And there it was, the idea that he most neededand for that, he would glance about, trying to find any sort of plant that might serve well as a tool for his practice - essentially, something that could produce spores, harmful for the human, if used in certain circumstances. Gladly enough, there were some bushes in their surroundings which could offer him the powder he would need.

Lax was listening to his companion whilst walking from bush to bush, checking them for the spores he might be using later on in his practice, or at least try to.
(Lax)

This can be hurtful.
Oh so hurtful.

Even now, he wasn't exactly the fan of the idea... while they were growing fast as magi, he imagines that there were still certain barriers to pass for them until they could reliably tap into such magics, but.. you can't really win much if you don't risk, can you?

Ones who don't risk - don't drink champagne.

Or so he believed. It is precisely the reason why he put up such confident demeanor, always acting to stand out from the crowd, always trying to be a spokesman of the group - always thinking several steps ahead, even if he may look like a Fool at times. Nothing can be achieved without sacrifices- and unfortunately for Nerin, the sacrifices was the only option he's had.

He was not born into wealthy family.
He does not have all of that.

Unless he was pro-active in his actions, seeking to undermine his current lowly position, grow beyond what he appears to be.. none of this would be possible. Besides, this is all just a stepping stone to his career, isn't it? To his company, his dream.. his purpose in Esshar, or what he believed it to be.

"Well, I--" He almost doesn't want to say it.

"I want you to.. dislocate a bone of mine. Shoulder would suffice, I suppose, though I want none of your help with this. Twist it, so that it may injure me - and I'll try to deal with it on my own."

"Even if I fail to, then it will be my lesson for the future on how to deal with it better."

After all, bone magic was rumoured to start with manipulation of one's body. This could be it.
(Nerin)

Sacrifice and pain, these Lax did not think of, but he knows they will eventually call for his name too.

And he was not ready for them, not even in the slightest.

Amethyst rested the spores-filled leaves onto the ground, gesturing Nerin to stand before him and against the rock. "Stay right there, I will try something." - he'd call out, standing right behind the green leaves and looking down at them.

"Should not be that hard, after all..." - the ways of Nature were diverse, and up to the one practicing it. Whether it was self-sacrifice to be turned to Magic, or drawing the power from your surroundings, one could go around the subject for a long time, which is something they did not have: Time.

Even though he seemed like a lazy and good-for-nothing one, Lax had his reasons to keep going on. There is not much to his personality, and one like Nerin, one of his companions, they might know his inner struggles of finding who he is, and the need of validation. He does not want to suffer like the others have, but that is not up to him...

"Ready when you are..." - but he was not ready, again, not ready at all. He would, however, get in position, standing before the other boy, ready to try and cast his first spell, or maybe think of doing so at least.
(Lax)

The only way to truly begin this path.

Magic is rumoured to be fuelled with emotion... and what stronger emotion is there other than hatred, love, pain and desperation? As it stands, he simply doesn't have anything to fall back on in order to pull the spell this powerful- he may already be above the average magi when it comes to magical power, but he was still vastly lacking otherwise.

Not good enough.
He's just not good enough yet.

This causes first droplets of sweat to appear over his head; hesitation and fear washes over him.. perhaps, it would be best to just go home, to never even have to suffer this pain and kickstart himself into what would basically be desperate attempt of his body to protect itself - the echo of his soul trying to resist the tug of death.

But sacrifices must be made, right?

"Okay..." Albeit a little hesitant, he still walks over to the spot where Lax gestured him to. A brief inhale follows afterward, steeling himself for the pain that's to come; he knew not just what exactly would come at him, but what he did know is that Nature's strength can be full of respite... or full of suffering too.

This ought to be the latter.

"...I'm ready."

Spoken with almost a shaky voice. His eyes momentarily closing, and re-opening again. He had to draw all of the courage he could possibly muster.

Now or never.
(Nerin)

This path, oh, it is decorated with thorns and flowers alike - it is up to the one walking it, which way he chooses - for Lax, he would not think of either, as he knows none and nothing as of yet. Testing the waters, or the grass, in his case, it is the only thing he could do - he thinks.

The boy would take a stance, his right arm extended forth, fully, and his palm open, just above those leaves and their pores. His eyes closed by now, starting to focus.

Having thought of drawing the Magical energy from their surroundings, it is exactly why he would gather those leaves in the first place - being filled with spores, it is the first, main element he could try to manipulate, as they are, in a sense, only natural bacteria with little to no intelligence of itself; compelling it to do his bidding, it was one way to do it and so, he would now start focusing.

Ideally, a ball of the spores he's gathered would now form on the surface of the very palm he is keeping redirected Nerin's way, but things were not just as simple - the mere desire of doing so was, is, and will never be enough to simply do it.

It requires dedication, and understanding of who you are in raport to the style of Magic you are practicing, therefore, for now, he only keeps his eyes closed and focused, his right arm extended forth, and his breathing pattern heavy.

"It is..not working.."
(Lax)

Almost prepared to face pain any moment, his face scrunched up a little, his eyes closing.. if only to realize that none of it was actually happening, considering the fact that Lax failed to gather up the necessary magic. But of course - he personally relied on the emotional outburst to be the fuel to his magic, to allow him performance of the feat he's planned.

"Lax... I need this. You have no idea how much."

The entirety of his dreams and life goals depended on this. If he were to fail, if he were to falter... then he would quickly find himself reduced to pretty much nothing. He's already not that far from it, considering the fact that unlike the nobles of the city or the wealthy families, he had nothing.

They had everything, anything they could want.
And he struggled with what seemed like basics.

"But... I understand."

He really does. It's not easy to muster up magic like that, especially sufficient to inflict such harm on someone, if they aren't exactly prepared to do so; for all that they know, this could very much fail without any outside stimuli. Though, Nerin isn't the one to walk away emptyhanded.

"You know, it is said that emotion, desperation to protect ourselves, or dire circumstances push us to our limits. Before you know it, what you were struggling to do a moment ago - it just happens."

Steadily, he begins taking upon a stance; the roll of Nerin's shoulders comes about, the entire posture flexed into something that seethed with aggression. A tiny crack of his neck, and Nerin spoke out.

"Returning back isn't an option, Lax. I'll give you this stimuli."

A leap forward - and he attacks his friend, with a fistful full of hurt and impact.

This is the only way they'll manage.
(Nerin)

The girl had been wandering for what seemed like ages, eyes on the grass instead of her surroundings. However, when she came upon this interesting scene - she didn't see it first...she FELT it. The sudden surge of mana made the hair on the back of her neck stand and a shiver roll through her body like a charge of electricity.

It was then she actually looked up to see the two males doing...SOMETHING. She could hardly hear the words they spoke, her brow furrowing in confusion as she clutches the weaved basket close to her body.

She saw Nerin lung at the violet man and it was then that the basket was dropped and she let out a shocked cry, one that she promptly silenced with her hands.
(Alisha Hagen)

Emotion, despair, they all sounded too much for him right now - to rely on your emotions to cast Magic? Where is the balance that is meant to be upheld in their ways? He could not tell.

"What~.." - he did not finish his sentence, as he would then dash backwards, reaching for his staff and remaining defensive, exhaling heavily upon being caught by surprise.

"I never turn back on my word." - he'd then lunge forth, too, hoping for the best out of this encounter, trying thing one way, too - the path of emotion, of pain and of desperation.

He was ready for combat...
(Lax)

This was meant to push them beyond their boundaries.

The adrenaline, the pumping blood in his veins that turned about the moment first lunge is made. This is what he lives for. This is his true nature... and the more he's gotten into trouble, the more he realized that much. Of course, he might be planning to take lead for something greater - something bigger than a single person.

The truth is? He loves this a lot more.

But there's no shame in loving fighting, right? Everyone does that, one way or another.. and there should certainly be no shaming for indulging in what humanity has been doing since the dawn of time. The raw passion that follows with each hit- the bloodied knuckles threatening to crack and pop, the beaten and bruised face and body that Lax delivers onto him.

Thud, thud, thud...

His heart pumps without delay, and without realizing that much, he's already gone too far; each blow delivered unto Lax has nigh dangerous intent behind it, so much so that it threatens to actually fracture his ribcage. So much so that it threatens to break his own arms..

In some way, it does.

For he was hardened magi too, just about his own potency. An audible pop echoes, coming from his knuckles; even those that have no idea about the medicine could tell, with the latest blow to Lax's ribcage, he just fractured his own knuckles. But does that stop the pummelling, does that stop the fighting?

Not in the slightest.

While it's merely a fracture, this surge of emotion, of sheer adrenaline- it causes a subconscious effort to be directed to mend that fracture together, his mind focused both on the fighting and shaping his bones. Although the blood is trickling down from them, the crackling remains.

Bones snapping, popping back to where they belong.

"Huff... huff..."

An inhale, then exhale. Battered and bruised as well, he stared down at defeated Lax, overcome by the adrenaline. Nothing else is said.
(Nerin)

Moving through the attacks of Nerin, Lax would do his best to block, parry and dodge each and every one of them - there is not much success to his attempt. Whilst managing to remain in one piece, he would indeed be defeated - his ribs, damaged, his skin, bruised.

He winced in pain, not stumbling backwards and falling, but maintaining his balance, aided by his staff. The man grunted once, shaking his head - there was no need for this and, with enough practice, he could have managed to do just fine - Nerin and his rushed, stupid decisions.

Seemingly, anger was starting to bundle up inside of his body, which has already started leaking some of his Mana all around the place, as a way to vent his pattern and not allow him to over-do himself, the way Nerin did.

"This should have ended differently."

And it should have, in his vision at least.

There was no need for this, not at all.

He knew that, but he would simply turn around, shaking hishead once again - one thing, however, Nerin was correct about: the healing and harming potential of Nature as a whole. With no actual intent of trying this type of spell, Lax sat himself onto the grass, leaving the bone-worker behind - he must be trying to clear his mind after the encounter.

And so, he sat. His eyes closed, and his staff was rested by his side - so much for the training that they both needed, and only Nerin received.

Amethyst found himself grumbling underneath his breath, with his eyes closed, and a frown covering the entirety of his visage.
(Lax)

With the boundaries broken, more things were becoming possible. In particular, the ever idle shift of the cartilages and subtle bone movement beneath.. while all he's done is put his fractured knuckles back together properly, it was still a feat for him. Perhaps, if he were to master it soon enough, he could actually defy the limitations of the body.

Both his own and another's.

His teeth grit a little, disturbed by how the knuckles shift about; they crack and pop under pressure caused by magic, his entire state alleviated thanks to the adrenaline and powerful emotion experienced just a moment ago. Yet, when that's said and done, he can't help but notice his distraught friend.

One that didn't get what he wanted, it seems.

"...Lax."

He wasn't sure if he should follow, if he should bother him right now. If anything, it seemed as if he would prefer to be left alone, but... would it be even a good gestureto just leave him be now after what happened?

"Lax, you can still get your training."

"We can still pull this through."

Even if his part was already done, he could at least try and help. That's what friends do- that's what he wants to do.
(Nerin)