Barkeep Documentation

Jun 6th, 2021
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  1. Entity code: 4c616d79
  3. Entity code: 4c616d79
  5. Threat type: Subsuming (Medium, Exponential, Delayed, Dissonant), Veilcutter (Medium, Localized)
  7. Kill orders: Self-defense (escaped specimen), Authorized (wild specimen)
  9. Entity name: Barkeep
  11. Description: Female-presenting Aes Sidhe human variant (image available on request)
  13. Equipment: Standard humanoid containment cell (zero-privacy observation type), remote shock collar, see guidelines for more
  15. Sustenance: Liquids containing ethyl alcohol with added vitamins and micronutrients required by Aes Sidhe human variants (information about the diet of Aes Sidhe human variants available on request). Barkeep instances may consume solid food, but do not derive sustenance from it
  17. Human contact: Required, see guidelines
  19. Guidelines: In adition to the abilities of Aes Sidhe human variants, Barkeep is an entity that is capable of and willing to transform sapient humanoids capable of getting alcohol poisoning ("drunk") into instances of Barkeep. Albeit Barkeep will generally always take the opportunity to attempt to initiate the transformation if possible, it does not have a Paperclip-type drive to do so, as exemplified by Barkeep instance #57 (formerly Ettore Majorana), who has been continuing their work on physics of neutrinos and antineutrinos and share its findings with our researchers freely without demanding to allow the transformation of other individuals in exchange (SECURITY WARNING: any agent or freelancer that would suggest an idea of this nature to a Barkeep instance will be immediately executed). The way Barkeep transformation works is by touching with her (OBSOLETE INFORMATION: bare) hands a container (OBSOLETE INFORMATION: currently holding ethyl alcohol) that will at a later point contain ethyl alcohol. The fingertips of a Barkeep instance secrete trace amounts of liquid, referred to as "Barkeep Spit", that forms a thin biofilm, particularly effectively on glass, that is very difficult to detect by nonspecialized means (no noticeable taste, odor or texture). The biofilm will react immediately to the presence of alcohol, causing a short-lived effect similar to that of a sizzling carbonated drink (though the bubbles have been found to be hydrogen and not carbon dioxide). The resulted liquid, referred to as "Barkeep Juice", is identical in taste to the original and capable of inducing an effect similar to the alcohol poisoning the same dose of the original would taste, but with an overall milder hangover. However, some time after the ingestion of Barkeep Juice, transformation will inevitably begin (unless arrested, voluntarily or accidentally).
  21. The speed at which a given subject will transform into a Barkeep depends on biological and mental divergence from Barkeep — a female-presenting Aes Sidhe human variant will take less than 12 hours (CLARIFICATION: this is only derived from a dataset of two), for example. A biological-male mental-male Homo Sapiens Sapiens individual will transform through a period of three to four months, simultaneously biologically and mentally. An individual will first start acquiring some of Barkeep's character traits (the first of them is inevitably desire to consume large amounts of alcohol, which will speed up the transformation if the alcohol available is actually Barkeep Juice), then will become gradually more mentally as well as biologically female — a process that brings individuals an intense feeling that is described as a combination of sexual pleasure and being highly intoxicated (even when the individual is not currently consuming alcohol or Barkeep Juice). Neither the passerby nor the individual generally notice anything unusual happening, unless it is already too late, at which point the individual will be content with it happening (a common idiosyncrasy is taking daily measurements of one's own chest area and comparing it to Barkeep's, which the individual will know at this point). Biologically female individuals will find their body proportions reshaped to match those of Barkeep, and mentally female individuals will have their personality traits rewritten. At the end of the transformation the original personality is completely erased, and the body is inhabited with another instance of Barkeep, albeit possessing the complete memories and knowledge of an individual at the moment prior to the transformation.
  26. Barkeep instances contained by Cover Corp. generally have knowledge and skills that are of high value, and their cooperation is highly appreciated. Barkeep instances that are not permitted human contact in the form of mutual drinking will rapidly become uncooperative and throw tantrums likely to damage their contanment cells. A Barkeep's tolerance for alcohol is, while above the human norms, still comparable to them, and it will get intoxicated much in the way that a human-variant can, which also aids in their cooperation. Drinking sessions with Barkeep must be, however, strictly monitored as one of possible vectors for further infections. All agents are to carry their own glassware for drinking and never let it in the hands of Barkeep. At no point must Barkeep ever be permitted to handle the bottle or the drinking container of another individual that is not undergoing the Barkeep transformation process. Any attempts at either are to be arrested by delivering an electric shock and immediate termination of the drinking session. Only uncarbonated drinks are to be consumed, anything visually similar to carbonation is to be treated as an attempt at an infection and punished likewise. If any individuals consumed Barkeep Juice, they must either arrest the transformation process or submit for detainment. There is no third option.
  28. Barkeep instances are Dissonant, as evidenced by the fact that contained instances (unless they were previously Cover Corp. employees or otherwise made aware) have no knowledge of the extermination process. Wild Barkeep instances, if they have found each other (chiefly through the internet, by the localized nature of Barkeep infections, or induced into a "nest" by a Barkeep instance that transformed them in the first place). Whereas a single Barkeep instance will simply try to find a job where they handle as many alcohol or alcohol-holding containers as possible, Barkeep nests will generally hatch more complex schemes aimed at transforming higher amounts of people. Currently, many Barkeep nests are aware of our agents and find it impertient to first destroy or subsume as many of our agents as possible before proceeding with the transformation of the entire Earth into Barkeep instances. One must be aware that, for instance, a shard of glass dipped in liquid Barkeep Juice retains the ability to convey transformation and can be thrown at great lengths. Further information on the combat capabilities and preferred tactics of Barkeep instances available on request. Further information on the combat capabilities and preferred tactics of Aes Sidhe human variants available on request.
  30. Willingly undergoing Barkeep transformation has been briefly considered but is currently not permitted in all instances. We currently have sufficient data on the transformation process of default human variants and, while the Barkeep process does transform a Homo Sapiens Sapiens (average maximum longevity: 100 years) into an Aes Sidhe variant (average maximum longevity: not known, possibly not applicable), this is not suitable for the Hands Across Eternity project, as the process does not truly prolong one's life — on the opposite, it kills everyone who undergo it, creating an instance of Barkeep in their stead.
  32. The sole known method of arresting the process of Barkeep transformation, which must be administered before the individual has undergone any physical transformation at all, is methyl alcohol (methanol) poisoning. The other, well-known effects of methanol poisoning will still be in effect. Every agent must quickly make their own choice of whether to live with the consequences of having underwent methanol poisoning or enjoy their independent will for a short while before being transformed into Barkeep. Any amount of blue hair on an individual that did not previously have blue hair is a clear mark that it is already too late.
  34. There are currently [197] contained Barkeep instances.
  36. There are currently [1] contained Barkeep transformation candidates.
  38. There are currently [3672] confirmed terminated Barkeep instances.
  40. There are currently [537] confirmed uncontained Barkeep instances.
  42. The amount of uncontained individuals currently undergoing Barkeep transformation is unknown.
  44. The amount of bottles of active Barkeep Juice masquerading as uninfected bottles of drinks containing ethyl alcohol is unknown.
  46. The amount of bottles or other containers infected with dormant Barkeep Spit, including recycling, is unknown.
  48. The method of safely and reliably detecting and destroying Barkeep Spit covering a container is unknown.
  50. Further research is needed.
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