Marvel Magic jump #55: I guess I'm God now???

[Marvel Magic, jump #55]

Drawbacks: [UNSOLICITED OPINIONS ON ISRAEL??], Axis, Journey Into Mystery, To Love In Hell, Mutated Stomach, Scarlet Fever, Old King Jumper (3000)

Sorceror, god (2700)

Doctors WIthout Dimensions (2500)
By the Hoary Fucking Hosts (2300)
Domains: Arcanum Ego, Arcanum Eco, Arcanum Exo (1700)
Elder God Hybrid: Atum (1400)
Skyfather (900)
And That Is Enough (500)
Prince of Power (300)
Battle Banter (200)
Treasures: Umar, Hela, Hecate, Nox
An Old FriendX2 (0):
-Elodie
-Goddess: Fate, Genius (500)
-A Word is a Bond (Free)
-JUMPER SPEAKS (FREE)
-Cloak (Free)
-Time-Shift Bomb (Free)
-Skyfather (0)

-Grail
-Human, Trickster
-Enthralling (Free)
-Fool Me Once (Free)
-Domain: God Butchers (400)
-Seven League Boots (Free)
-Crossing Rings (Free)
-All-Black the Necrosword (0)

I put down Infinity Ending. I looked at the regulator in my hands. I planted my face in my hands and groaned.

"Hey, buddy!" said the Jumper Who Spirals, strolling through the Warehouse's doorway like he belonged there. "Took you long enough to get the joke of it. The big, silly damn joke of it all"

"Christ, becoming God-REALLY God, it's, it's..."

"Too easy. Yeah, I know. You're already outside the norm, and my time trapping's given you four vital jumps' worth of experience". He hesitated. "And...yeah, it's meaningless. It's just the top of the pile, nothing more, so don't let me catch you slacking off after you get there alright?"

"But why? What's the point? It's-he built with many hands, and his only weapon was love, and in the end...spite wins? Betrayal's the only thing that saved us from omnipotence? The reason this reality isn't doomed by a big eggplant throwing a loneliness tantrum is BECAUSE HE WAS SURPRISED?!"

"I know. Believe me, I know" he said, sitting down. For once the smugness that wafted from him like steam faded, and he looked at me with tired eyes. "I know I'm a jerk, and a douche. I know I'm the Jumper you never wanted to be, and worse I'm not even our full potential. But I like to think I've been honest about what I've always wanted: I. Want. Us. To choose the winning play. Yeah, it'll feel fucking great and I'm a time-shriveled husk of a person to only feel good when I win, I won't kid you that. And I know you don't want to believe you're the best man for the job. But dude, look at the competition"

"And what makes you think we'll do it any better? The precognitions, they..."

"Because we have something they don't". He stretched out his hand to me. "Trust. Actual trust, not that fucking halfcocked defeatist SHIT Adam told Thanos" he spat. "Because I know you'll never stop trying to better yourself. To fix the world or, or rule it, I don't care. But you DO. You ever wonder how the evil Jumper drawbacks work? SHE takes a bit of you that regretted that choice, throws it out into the wild white space or Ninuan, and eventually something shaped like us comes back. Now, me? I'm the white noise that came outta all those guys. The mishap of her little mishaps. And BECAUSE of that, I KNOW I can't make the winning play-seize the crown of the multiverse from inside it, that is-myself as a bad copy of a bad copy. We're all the maybes and should-nots you thought about in the split second before you chose to seize the day"

"Then how can I?"

"By accepting" he said firmly, shaking my hand, "that the world revolves around you and reacting appropriately. I'll say it again: I forfeit. Everything I know, it's yours now, and I won't get in your way, YOU're the max wank Jumper now"

We sat in silence for a time. After a while, he stood up and made to walk away. There was a sense of finality. We both knew there was nothing left for him now.

"And hey, cheer up! There's something else we have none of them except the Doctor, Conan and those many-angled fucks have too!" he called over his shoulder. "A life outside of this hopeless strange loop of a multiverse!"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's right!" I said. "There's more multiverses out there so, I guess I won't be combusting from loneliness any time soon!"

"Just remember, all those years ago when we were scraping together enough hand-me-downs to get started?" he called. "When trying to build a jetpack with what tech perks we could cobble together was like threading a needle through a haystack? Well, we're the haystack now! You know how easy it is so you ought to know the risks! Don't forget!" he called out from the wild white distance "Without anything to shore up The One Above All's power, EVERYONE has a shot at the top!"




















































>Kid Loki was dying. He was dying because he was too tricky for his own good, as Adult Loki was keen on telling him. There was no way out this time and it wasn't fair, and nobody cared. Damn them all.
>Suddenly, a golden portal opened up into what was supposed to be a very private death. In stepped a radiant man with twin plumes of cosmic fire from each eye
>"Go away, please" begged Kid Loki. "I'm dying and it's all my fault, and it's embarrasing enough without people dropping in to watch me fail to change it"
>"Oh I will, I will" promised Anon "believe me I've been there. But well, it's Father's Day and I find myself short on gifts. So will you hear a story from a wayward son before you pass on?"
>"If I must. It's not like I'm going anywhere until I burn"

>WHO DARES DISTURB THE LIVING TRIBUNAL?
>Hey, nice abs dude! How much do you lift?
>WHAT?
>We should totally work out together!
>UM. OKAY? WAIT, AREN'T YOU OSHTUR'S BRAT? YOU'RE...TALLER THAN I IMAGINED
>Damn, more like the Swole Tribunal

>"The-the what now?" asked Old Loki, having finally overcome his outraged stammering.
>"Yeah. Golden Age had some crazy stuff going on huh?"
>"That's not-I don't even-"

>Son of Oshtur. I, Eternity, commend your attention to duty
>No probs. Alright, just relax and...let it happen
>However, I must question your methods
>Hey, don't worry! I don't wanna make this weird, it's just-you know. You're the embodiment of all space-time, I'm trying to prevent a multiversal incursion, which makes you a very accurate map...
>You are not incorrect
>...
>...
>Still, I must ask you to be gentle when probing me

>"No! Stop that! That never happened!" shouted Old Loki.
>"Prove it"
>"I can't! I'm a magical construct here to ensure my current self dies!"
>"Then shut up and listen, old man"

>Step aside, fool! The Dread Dormammu's destiny awaits!
>Howdy, bae. You come to the void between worlds often?
>Well, actually-
>I was talking to your sister
>Mmm...not really. I'm the kind of girl who enjoys her creatures comforts
>Oh, I've comforted creatures like you~
>ENOUGH! You will NOT interrupt Dormammu's finest moment with, with-awful pickup lines!! UMAR GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT NO NO COME BACK

And with the meet and greet done, I tore open a portal to the past. Catching an ancient weapon barehanded. And pouring my literal heart and soul into it.

Anyway, family reunions are always a bit problematic at the best of times. When you're a Norse deity-

"Let the Nine Realms die!" shouted Fenrir. "For freeing and feeding me brother, I promise to painlessly tear your throat out come my hour!"

"Be careful, traitor" added Jormundgand, as the ingrates slinked off into the dark corners of the world "they have forgotten you. Almost all have forgotten you, barring Surtur and the All-Father"

I found Odin in the void between worlds. We shared the "I am dealing with so much shit you have no idea how many planes of reality I am multitasking on" nod, and he bitterly recounted the All-Mother exiling him from Asgard. Then he mumbled something about Frigga not being entirely wrong, and admitted Gaia at least was nice about it.

His smile and optimism was restored when I successfully applied as their underhand. After all, through my soul hierarchy I am technically an autistic, genderfluid racial minority.

So as their underhand, I did filthy acts for a reasonable price. I assassinated Malekith (replacing him with a conveniently competant dark elf lady), built a wall of uru CADs around Jotunheim (and make the frost giants pay for it). Oh, and as the Asgardian diplomat to Latveria both Doom and I were shocked we recognised each other.

There was something else I had to do, of course. It boiled down to using wave theory, psions and good old fashioned True Magic to reconstruct the energy matrixes that made a man called Owen Reece special-and repeating it, ad infinitum. Having an entire Elemental Pole of Song helped immensely-but I sought to improve the bomb as well as recreate it, and there lay the real challenge.

And as Odin's underhand, after comparing notes on the apocalypse I did actually important things. Which mainly amounted to some black market commissions with the dwarfs-and babysitting Loki. I got a lot of cussing as a famlial race traitor and a suckup-until I revealed I knew about his plan to make Asgard great again, and also why it was doomed.

He looked so sad after I made him understand I was just trying to save him from his own destiny.

He asked how could I "save" him, from being true to himself? I could only say in turn that's what he said in the original kalpa, and his own nature was a shackle. He said he knew that.

He told me he wished he could trust me. That all he could promise was he'd try on Midgard first, to spare Asgard

I couldn't blame him.


Did I not cut sparrows from the sky and memory from the boy with the Falcastra of Zatesh, creating a Goddess of Stories? Had I not sheltered him from the All-Mother's machinations by taking his place, giving him more freedom to earn a name as a hero in Asgard's eyes?

More to the point-is a happy young man with a bright future still, intrinsically, Loki? At the time, there were too many loose ends to tie up.

I wrested ownership of the Disir from Mephisto, after I won Peter Parker's marriage as per the Misc. Gratuities Clause of soul contract law, I dispelled Bor's curse by invoking the combined power of Usagi, of Sakura, of Nanoha and the kawaii hosts of Madoka. In that ONE case did the world's diversity madness actually work in my favor; the ladies were dealt a bad hand, and the All-Mother being willing to reinstate their valkyrie status. I made absolutely sure NOBODY heard jack about the 10th Realm though; Odin had the right idea.

Well, two things. I also bestowed a soul on Leah the Handmaiden, so she could survive her mistress' healing. I also perfected Leah the Story to give her a shot at freedom; my sister's spent far too long in Hel's darkness. Somehow, the All-Mother found out and invited Hela among their number even though, y'know, she was kinda Asgard's mortal enemies for a good long while. It all worked out since she was trying to turn over a new leaf and defy destiny-with Leah as her own agent, of course.

Speaking of Hell-i found it cold and ashen, its' unjustly wronged souls huddled at the gates. Flayed demon pelts lined the infernal districts, and several barred doors marked where the luckier demon lords escaped.

Elodie was lounging on Satan's throne, using the demon lord who sought to taint her soul's skull as a goblet. Or maybe a chamberpot.

I asked her to take a free shot with the Necroshard being used as a hatpin, if she felt I deserved it. And she said "I'm evil, not stupid. We both know you wouldn't risk me lightly, that I otherwise wouldn't have used this weapon and that you can't abide half measures. Which means something worse than all of Hell's coming"

I. That is. No excuse.

She smiled, like Loki-that-was. "And this was a test, wasn't it? You once said I couldn't understand the agony of a paradoxical existence. Well, I've smote the wicked and saved the innocent. For the thrill, and to be loved in despair. Hell" she laughed "let's face it: The reason we never worked out for milennia was because you didn't want me going down the road the kind of women you're into walks"

She met my eyes. "Listen. I'm still me. This is my choice. Now, who're we killing?"

Cancer.

"...what?"


I keep thinking about it, I tell her. It took me two whole days to devise a reliable cure with baseline science. Me. Two whole DAYS. And this WORLD is full of minds who can solve the energy crisis or steal the powers of a god with technology-but they can't do something MY abyssal backwater of a homeworld is on the verge of?!

It's almost like there's some cosmic force out there warping the flow of causality so cancer stays lethal! But what depraved excuse of a cosmic being would spread CANCER across the UNIVERSE?

We stare at each other. It clicks. We transmitted ourselves across time and space to the Fault.

We zigzag across the cosmos at the speed of dark, painting the town red with Revenger blood and tearing holes in space itself. Then our Necroswords pierce the Galactus Engine while burning with two cardinalities of almost-infinite damage. As the Butcher Engine ponderously turns upon its' native universe, I exult in the panicked squealing of the Many-Angled Ones. And for the first time, so does she.

By the time we enter the Cancerverse, they're already crippled by Thanos' sacrifice. Insofar as amorphous chaos beings can, they look surprised. It will take time for even twin Annihilablades to assimilate a creature out of causality-so we pelt the motionless bodies with thousands of tiny slivers each.

At a right angle to reality, I catch the Molecule Man's eye. He looks impressed.

Time's running out. The Incursion is almost upon us. My other allies reaching back to smite every Mapmaker and Bridge Builder and Molecule Man that showed up only delayed the cycle for so long. I can feel the Ivory Kings' gaze. They are many.

So am I.

Before they invaded our reality and killed our cosmic abstracts out of boredom, I marched the combined might of the Nine Realms to the gateway to their reality. Clad in Fate-alloyed power armour, Asgard led the charge.

Well, most of it-an image of myself, Elodie and Leah the Handmaid joins the Loki Corps to silence a different kind of incursion for good. Our Necroswords are borne away with them.

WE ARE BEYOND, they told us. DREAMERS. DESTROYERS. ALL OF REALITY OUR WHIM.

WHO DARES TO STAND BEFORE US?

And then I told the Beyonders that I'd come to bargain.

Silence. And then-

YOU HAVE COME TO DIE. YOU HAVE BECOME...AN /ANOMALY/ IN OUR EXPERIMENT.

They swarmed out of every reality. I redefined possibility, and seared causality with my flames. They fired on me from every point of time and space. I smote them into base concepts, and shattered their fear into piercing shards. They shaped themselves into cosmic weapons, while my vortex of evolution spilled forth as countless apocalyptic forces. Words alone can't describe the cosmic struggle in its' full scale, but, well.

To the uninitiated, they dragged me out of the Sword of the Cosmos and zapped me with hand-lasers until I fell over.

But before the final blow was struck I created a reference point for recursion, focused the power of my Third Circle Lord Soul through the Oculi Dei, spoke a harsh word in the Thu'uum-

-and time reversed.

WE ARE BEYOND, they told us. DREAMERS. DESTROYERS. ALL OF REALITY OUR-WHAT IS THIS? SENSORY INTERFERENCE DETECTED. EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

Oh, this is real I told them-as Asgard's finest raged against their avatars, Odin and Thor side by side once more.

GOOD. And I fell once more, under their universal wavelengths.

And lo, I turned back time again.

Beyonders! I've come to bargain!

UNKNOWN PERSISTENT ERROR.

Just as you gave the Mapmakers power from your dimension, I brought a little power from mine. This-I gestured at the Asgardians' newly smithed power armour-is the sorcery of time and recursion! Strike us down, and we will rise up again while our wounds will never be erased from you!

I waved the Staff of the Living Tribunal at them. Never let it be said I didn't warn you, I told them. They call it grandstanding or whatnot-but I'm giving you more of a chance then you deserve.

YOU /DARE/

I dare. Again.

Beyonders! I've come to bargain!

YOU CANNOT DO THIS FOREVER.

Oh, but I don't have to!

And then I was gunned down.

STOP.

Never. No compromise, but on my terms.

And then-there was silence, as they realised I was being evasive. More importantly, that even as the time loops restored myself and my allies, their wounds would not heal.

YOU...NOW WE RECOGNISE YOU. THERE ARE OTHERS LIKE US, IN THE WILD SPACES BEYOND REALITY. EXAMINERS. NORMALISERS. GARDENERS. DEBASERS

BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE BENEFACTOR.

AND SHE SPEAKS OF YOU.

WE HAVE TAKEN YOUR MEASURE, AND WE FIND YOU WANTING. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER STRODE EVERY WORLD, SAFEGUARDED FROM EVERY POSSIBLE INTERFERENCE?

WHO ARE YOU TO DENY US? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE US?

WE ARE YOUR REALITY!

WE ARE THE CRIME THAT WILL BE FORGIVEN!

Again, and again, and again I fell to the cosmic bastards. Even my perfection could not secure victory, only let me and my allies stand up again. Again, and again, and again I watch the Twilight of the Gods unfurl around me-even as the other Cosmic Abstracts silently join our efforts. As I rise from my latest beatdown, it is Fenrir who hauls me by the nape-and Jormungand who supports me.

They did promise me a clean death when I freed them, after all. And this disaster is no true Ragnarok.

...but, you know. That's a fair question. Who the hell am I? In another life I rose from the timeless squall of chaos to trick order into being. In yet another, I betrayed my father and siblings to save the world-tree.

Here and now-I AM THE SORCERER SUPREME.

And every atrocity I do, I add, I do out of love. In the name of peace and sanity.

I look above reality and call on only one being's power. Only one. And I...can't tell if he responded.

Only now do the Beyonders panic as my ace in the hole is unfurled from empyreal fire, tumbling as their wounds refuse to heal. It is too late. I open all of my seven remaining mouths, and sing EXA_OWEN. The last thing they see is my apocalypse-scythe reaping their energies.














Quite some time passes.












And Elodie lets out a long sigh of relief, as the multiverse finishes restabilising. Including herself. There was some collateral damage, of course. But in the hands of a Primordial, everything can be set right.

By my estimation, we've got most of a year to catch up with the others once we're done here.

She's surprised. "Wait-you're putting everything back the way it was? No millenium kingdom?"

Well, not EVERYTHING. I'm retconning a cosmic celestial restraining order on the entire Celestial race. And I'm extending The Wall to block out the-what was it they called it again? The wild spaces beyond reality? That place. Oh, and I'm going to create a cosmic orphanage at the center of time and space! Let's see-I've found a little lost cosmic cube, this baby Elder God, the one Beyonder who didn't participate in this nonsense.

It'll be like the X-Men, but for abandoned cosmic beings! Really, a lot of this wouldn't have needed to happen if the powers that be had a good household to grow up in.

And no more damn Ragnaroks for Asgard, I add. I wave at the Lokis-and their redhead-strolling along into the universe of my making. But I mean-I've sat on the actual throne of Heaven. I've felt what it means to truly have absolutely authority over all that is, and could be.

I wave, and the power quavers. This isn't omnipotence, no matter what some would have you believe. It's just a convincing illusion done with-telekinesis, basically. This multiverse is fundamentally chaotic. Contradictory. It can't even be run from the inside-out like DC's, not even with a light touch. All I can do with this, is reset the board and bolster the safeguards.

Heck, under normal circumstances these powers would be technically finite.

"Thank you. I'm proud of you. And I'm grateful I didn't have to beat sense into you until you did the right thing". My hearts flutter, as she joins me in setting back the firmaments in their proper places. Then, she raises an eyebrow. "Wait-normal circumstances?"

At this, I silently gesture. The Beyonders' collective energies are pooling into my Primordial essence, using my Jumperforce as a medium. Transmigrating the shining singularity into one of my unreal jotuns in the Beyond, I announce that I have created...the BEYONDFORCE.

"..."

....

"...godsdammit Anon, that's a terrible name"


>Anon shut the book.
>"That's a silly story" said Kid Loki, who was much cheered up for someone who had just been set up to die. "Did it really happen?"
>"Parts of it did. Parts of it didn't. You remember everything I did in Asgard, right?" I asked, waving a chunk of demon bone I'd looted from Hell. It was an excellent paperweight.
>"Of course it didn't happen!" argued Old Loki. "God or no, he said they had Necroswords! Does this man LOOK like he has a Necrosword on his person?! What happened to the Old King Jumper, and the alternate selves anyway?"
>"Beyonders pretending to be me. Or Those Who Sit Above In Shadows pretending to be Beyonders pretending to be me" I explained.
>"The so-called Beyond Force, then! You-you clearly hold a power beyond my reckoning, but I can't sense anything like THAT on you!"
>"Dropped it off in the White Hot Room" I said, shrugging. "Didn't need it. More trouble than it's worth"
>"That's just lazy storytelling! What a hack my so-called son is!"
>"But...did it all really happen?" asked Kid Loki.
>"I don't know. It feels like a really weird dream I've been spending my whole life waking up from" I confessed. "My own future's a mess. I remember being born a mutant and living a hero before remembering I was a god, and yet-all of this feels like I'm remembering a distant future echoing BEFORE those lives but AFTER another lifetime as a man. Does that make any sense? Because I'd be worried if it ever did. I'm not even sure if I'm actually your kid, or if the universe just decided I had to be ever since the jiggling I gave it after drinking that damn serum. But my story isn't important, what's important is-I think I survived it ending. And I don't quite know how I did it-but I can try to show you. Would you...know more?"
>Kid Loki stared down at the crow he was about to eat. The crow shrugged it's wings and fluttered off. "Hell yeah I would!"
>And so Anon and Loki wandered out of the astral realm, leaving a flustered evil old Loki to feel the heat of his own flames