new years

2017 wrap up paste

This isn't particularly meant to be a bragging or negative post, but rather a reflection on my life this year. It's gonna be a long boi

When I started university in Fall of 2013, I was in the worst place I had ever been in my life. I could barely get out of bed because I was so depressed. I had lost all my friends from high school and I ostracized myself from my remaining friends. I spent most of my time streaming, and I mostly survived off of potato chips and peanut M&M's from the vending machine in the basement of my dorm, despite having a full meal plan at the dining hall. Streaming was my safe-haven and when I was streaming I felt temporary relief from my depression. Naturally, I failed all my classes that semester. I got pity passed in my freshman seminar, leaving me with a 0.09 (?) GPA or something along those lines. I ended up dropping out of university, losing all my real life friends I still had remaining and moving back in with my parents. I then found a job, and took a few online classes. I failed those too. My relationship with my parents was at an all time low; we could never get along and my home felt like a prison.
I really don't know when things changed. I can't say it was suddenly, and sometimes I still have the same feelings I had back then. Gradually, though, things got better. I surrounded myself with people who lifted me up and supported me, rather than perpetuating my bad habits. My family and I started to understand each other more and, although slowly, they began to support my decisions as an adult. Eventually something in my mind settled into place, and I decided I wanted to go back to school full time. I ended up going back in fall of 2015, even with my beautiful 0.09 GPA. Somehow, the motivation I never had back in 2013 was suddenly there. It was long, and really trying at times, but I finally graduated this semester magna cum laude (0.01 points away from summa)... I spent the past 2 years SO afraid of slipping back to how I was, and there were point where I could feel things getting bad again. Luckily, this time I had a good support system, as well as my parents. So seriously, shout outs to my friends. To Kyeth, Simmons, Carter, Xanskar, mpg, Cas, Chili, Konagami, Roku, Violet: No matter how long we've known each other, you all have been my saving grace for the past few years and I am so grateful. Every word of support, every time you've listened (even when I type a wall), I am grateful. I really don't think I would have made it without all of you. Thank you for always pushing me to be better.

Moving onto my next subject, 2017 was a year of new experiences for me. In July, I saw Aqours, Wake Up Girls!, Imas:Cinderella Girls, Minoringo, and JUNNA all in one concert. Although it was in America, seeing an idol concert live was something I could only dream of in the past. Around February of this year, I downloaded LINE and made friends with this dude who said he liked Honoka more than me. Something that seemed completely normal changed my life. As a person who isn't typically a go-getter, I've spent more of my life chasing my dreams this year than I have in all of the rest of my life combined. Even though I want to give myself some credit, I will honestly give most of the credit to Travis. Travis always pushes me to fight for my dreams and consider my own feelings first. Thanks to him, I've had so many significant encounters this year and now I'm even planning to see Walküre 3rd live and Aikatsu! in Budokan in February. If I hadn't met Travis, this is something I probably would have kept pushing off as a far off dream. So thank you, I'm so glad I met you and I hope you will continue to be friends with me because you brighten my life.

This is kind of the end of the mush shit because I'll probably make myself cry if I write more and also at this point who is reading this anyways. 2017 was definitely the best year of my life so far, and I'm looking forward to a better 2018.