My Transgender Friend
A lot of important things have happened in my life, some sad, most happy. Most people don't want to read sad parts anyway, though it does make for something interesting. What in my life, what one even can mix the two?
I guess it was finding out my best friend is transgender. No, not the "TRANNIES" image the  media presents with botched surgeries and everyday depression (along with looking like the wrong gender). I guess it's more like the Degrassi type of trans - a guy who wants to be a girl. That's it. For the rest of this I will be using she in reference to my friend, even though she's 'technically male', because she has requested I do so.
She told me first. I'll admit, the thought crossed my mind a bit, but nothing compared to the shame I felt for subtle stereotyping. Gay? Femme? The words crossed my mind when I'd see her sometimes crossing her legs or brushing her hair. Although I ended up being right, the assumption of someone from behaviors is wrong and narrow-minded.
I had done research on my own as part of feminism, so the small papers of vocabulary and hormones she wrote proved little use, though I did appreciate the time she spent on them. She called coming out to me "like not having to put on a mask after 15 years of Halloween", and I was happy that she was.
Unfortunately, she has her breakdowns here and there. Usually she'll go to her therapist, and I'll do what I can by complimenting her. (usually appearance based). She's stable and very happy otherwise, especially when I call her Ailie, her female name.
It makes me wonder - why do we demonize these people? Why do we call them its, trannies, and allow laws that legalize discrimination? Because they don't fix inside our narrow-minded view of how a woman should be? How can we as cisgenders hope to understand/ All questions I asked Ailie, and she told me something I think of everyday. "Society hates people who are themselves."
At 15, she already knows who she is, the oppresion of people by hate speech and privilege of people who use it, and why "just a joke" doesn't work when Conan o Brien, South Park, Family Guy, and TWo and Half Men demonize trans people in their respective episodes. I guess to them she's just a stupid tranny who doesn't know "its" place.
It's been a month since I found out, and already I've brought everything I know about gender in to question. We talk daily about these things, and everytime I say "bye", knowing more than I thought I could about gender.
A few nights ago someone called me, a slightly raspy but otherwise female voice. "Hi Tyler!" I paused, trying to think of who it was. "Who is this?" "It's Ailieeee!" She told me how happy she was I thought her voice was female, and how she had stayed up until "12 every night for 3 months" practicing. Most musicians can barely aspire to 1 hour a day and she has more dedication with just her voice. And that's when I realized that sure, her body was male, everyone knew her as male, and her gender was assigned male. But what else do you call someone with a female voice, long hair, and 'girly' behavior? In two weeks, I realized Ailie was female, no matter what doctors forced her to be, and it seems wrong she has to live with being assigned the wrong gender.