[RGRE] Anon's Home Run Derby: Trixie

Dec 17th, 2019 (edited)
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. >Be Anon, wagon cleaner extraordinaire!
  2. >Ok it's more like "cleaning bitch", but hey the job got done.
  3. "Thanks for helping me Trix, you've got some wierd things in here."
  4. >"You're quite welcome. Trixie trusts you will keep anything you've seen quiet?"
  5. >You really wanted to tell Dash you figured out Trixie's "Buried Alive" trick, but knowing that loudmouth it'd be all over Equestria before you could finish your sentence.
  6. "Sure thing. What's the phrase? 'A stallion doesn't kiss and tell'?"
  7. >A blush shows up on her face, but Trixie being the Trixie she is doesn't back down.
  8. >"That phrase is more suited to a... different scenario, but yes it works."
  9. >You just let out a chuckle and give her a pat on her withers. Can't let mares have all the fun.
  10. >Just as you are about to grab your bat Trixie levitates it away from your grip. Bringing it close she inspects it before turning to you.
  11. >"Anon, what sort of wood is this bat made of?"
  12. "White ash."
  13. >Trixie furrows her brow at that. "White ash? Why not something sensible like birch or maple?"
  14. "Come on Trix white ash is still popular. It's not like it's made of cedar or something."
  15. >The look she gives you tells a different story.
  16. >"Anon, nopony has ever used any type of ash for bats. Not even the Sultana of Swat herself would touch an ash bat."
  17. >Sultana of Swat... you'll ask another day.
  18. "And why would that be my cerulean friend?"
  19. >"First off, Trixie has a beautiful pure blue coat, thank you very much. Secondly ash breaks too easily. Ponies could never find the right treatment for it."
  20. "Well ponies just didn't try hard enough. This bat is older than I am and it's as good as the day it was made."
  21. >Looking the bat over once more Trixie floats it back to you. "Trixie will take your word for it. She still has a hard time believing a colt knows so much about baseball, let alone plays it well."
  22. "Yea yea yea, do you want to pitch or not?"
  23. >"Trixie thought you would never ask."
  24. >Both you and Trixie move to your respective positions.
  25. >>"Good luck Anon!"
  26. >Looking over you see Fluttershy sitting by Trixie's wagon along with several of her animal friends. Guess you have an audience now, and what kind of baseball player doesn't give shoutouts to their audience?
  27. >You put on your best winning smile and throw a thumbs up to her. Eh, she's a pegasus, she'll probably get it.
  28. >"While I can appreciate pandering to a crowd, Anon, I would like to start today."
  29. >That gets a laugh out of you, and you turn back to your pitcher. Unlike Fluttershy she is holding the ball aloft in her magic. You assume your stance and signal to her that you are ready.
  30. >Just as she begins her windup you see movement out of the top of your peripheral vision. Not wanting a repeat of the wagon incident you hold up your hand to stop Trixie and look up.
  31. >You're glad you stopped, since a low flying cloud was drifting over your playing field, and you know there's only one reason for low hanging clouds in Ponyville. Cupping your hands at your mouth you shout to the pegasus you /know/ is up there.
  32. "RAINBOW DASH naptime is over! You're moving into a no-fly zone!"
  33. >The cloud in question quivers for a moment before exploding into nothing, revealing the one and only Rainbow Dash. She looks around for a second before finding you, then dives down to meet you.
  34. >>>"Sup bro?"
  35. >She raises her hoof in greeting and you bump it like any sane person would.
  36. "How ya doin' Dash?"
  37. >>>"I was having a nice nap on my day off until /someone/ woke me up."
  38. "Well would you rather I wake you up this way or by an accidental baseball to the head?"
  39. >You point to Trixie for emphasis, who rolls her eyes at you. Apparantly she would have preferred the latter. Dash herself backs off.
  40. >>>"Alright point taken." She pauses. "Wait you play baseball?"
  41. >You hold up your bat for emphasis.
  42. "Uhh, yea. Why?"
  43. >>>"Hehe, Anon, you might be Ponyville's biggest janefilly, but colts just don't do baseball."
  44. "Well Dash, this /janefilly/ has already smashed three balls out of the metaphorical park today."
  45. >You point to Fluttershy as you say that, but Dash remains unconvinced. As a matter of fact a smug smile grows on her face.
  46. >>>"Okay, okay no need to get your ball bra in a twist."
  47. "Hey you know damn well I wear boxers, not those weird things Caramel keeps trying to get me in to."
  48. >>>"Then maybe you'd like to put your bits where your mouth is, eh?"
  49. >Now it's your turn to be uncertain.
  50. "What do you have in mind Dash?"
  51. >>>"I'm thinking that if you're as good as you say you are then you'll be able to shash at least five balls out of fifteen with no fouls. Loser pays for drinks tonight."
  52. >Shit... your batting average was ok, but never .3, but on the other hand if you lose that bet you know Dash'll milk that bet by getting the expensive cider. The other problem is you can't back down because she'll take her janefilly comment as being right, and you can't have that.
  53. "...Fine."
  54. >Dash hoofpumps and moves over to Fluttershy, reclining against Trixie's wagon. You just shake your head, already resigned to an expensive night.
  55. >"Are you ready NOW, Anon?"
  56. >Once again you take your batting stance.
  57. "Yea, I'm ready. Fifteen pitches, let me have em."
  58. >>>"Hey Trixie, don't go easy on him! He still hasn't learned this is a mare's world!"
  59. >You glance over just enough to keep Trixie in your line of sight.
  60. "You'll get yours soon enough, Bluefast! I-"
  61. >A baseball flying through your strike zone shuts you up. Wait a fucking second you should have seen her throw that.
  62. >"Come on, Anonymous, focus. Trixie won't have fun if she does not earn her victory."
  63. >Ignoring Dash you focus on Trixie again and see her levitating another ball aloft.
  64. >You signal to her that you're ready once more. There's her windup, and WAIT THAT'S NOT WHERE IT LOOKED LIKE SHE THREW IT FROM.
  65. >You swing wildly, and are rewarded with a pop fly that gets a lot of height but no distance.
  66. "Yo Trix what the hell was that?"
  67. >Trixie just looks at you in confusion.
  68. >>>"Come on, Anon! Even you should know that's her signature throw!"
  69. >Now it's your turn to be confused. You turn to Dash.
  70. "Signature what now?"
  71. >>>"Ugh, I knew colts didn't do baseball but give me a break! Everypony that's done even a little baseball has a signature throw, Anon; it's their special way of throwing the ball."
  72. >You point to Fluttershy.
  73. "Why were her throws normal then?"
  74. >>>"Because Fluttershy's signature throw is just that! Normal!"
  75. >You look to Trixie searching for an explanation.
  76. >"She's telling the truth, Anon. Trixie is a master of misdirection on stage, and Trixie simply uses the same techniques now."
  77. >You just rub your temple trying to stave off your developing headache.
  78. "And this shit is legal in your baseball? Is it magic bullshit?"
  79. >"Signature throws are perfectly legal, Anon, and it is /some/ magic, but only what a pony's natural magic can already do. The ball must travel under its own power over the plate."
  80. >So they all have some bullshit magical way of throwing baseballs, and it's perfectly legal. Great.
  81. >"Do you want to keep batting Anon?"
  82. >You want to stop, but then you'd owe Rainbow drinks. That and you're human, damnit! Adapting is what you do.
  83. "Yea sure. I still think this "signature throw" stuff is bullshit though."
  84. >>>"I'll be sure to keep that in mind when YOU are buying drinks tonight."
  85. >You grit you teeth and stay silent, not wanting to give her the satisfaction. Trixie just shrugs and levitates the baseball around, waiting for you to get ready.
  86. >With a nod from you Trixie starts another windup, and once again the ball comes at you from a completely different angle than you were expecting.
  87. >Swing and a miss. You shake your head and signal for the third pitch. Just keep your eye on the ball. There's her windup, and again the unexpected angle followed by your swing and miss.
  88. >Damnit you can't keep this up. Windup number four comes... fuck it you'll guess where this one will come from.
  89. >Here's comes the fourth pitch, and to your amazement you guessed correctly. Pushing down your exitement you time your swing just right and are rewarded with that sweet crack of the bat and a baseball flying high over mid-right field and over the fenceline.
  90. >Fluttershy and her animals cheer at your success, Trixie looks on in surprise, while Dash just nods in acknowledgement.
  91. >>>"Not bad Anon, but can you do it four more times?"
  92. >Shit she's right. You can't rely on dumb luck to win you this bet. You see Trixie has yet to pick up her jaw from the ground.
  93. "Hey Trix you good?"
  94. >She snaps out of her daze at your voice. "Trixie is fine, just surprised at your wealth of beginner's luck."
  95. >Once more she takes her stance and waits for your signal. God damnit you've got to figure this out.
  96. >...'Figure this out'? Wait a second... Trixie uses misdirection for her throws, and the way to beat a magician is to figure out their trick!
  97. >The only hard part is finding out her trick, and Trixie is one of the best damn magicians you've ever seen.
  98. >Narrowing your eyes you signal for the next pitch. As always Trixie begins her windup the same, rearing on her hind legs and levitating the ball behind her head before her pitch, and once again you are blindsided by the angle it comes out on.
  99. >Swing and miss.
  100. >Come on Anon there's gotta be something you're missing. You signal, she winds up pitch number six, throws the unpredictable angle, swing, and miss.
  101. >On her seventh windup you realize something just before she pitches; her head is always moving from up to down or left to right, or vice versa.
  102. >Her tell can't be that simple, can it?
  103. >You signal for pitch number eight and pay very close attention to her movement this time. Sure enough as she comes down on all fours she swings her head from top left to bottom right, only for the pitch to come from the bottom right traveling to your upper left. Swing and miss.
  104. >You feel like you've struck gold, but you need to make sure. You signal for her for the ninth pitch, and sure enough your hypothesis bears fruit, the ball coming from and traveling in the opposite direction her head moves in. Better prepared this time you swing and hit the bottom of the ball, but it continues past and hits the fence behind you.
  105. >Rolling your shoulders you take your stance with renewed confidence. This is where the fun begins. A quick glance to Dash shows her watching with renewed interest; she can sense something from your new demeanor, but isn't sure what it means.
  106. >You signal pitch number ten, and this time you take a big ol' bite out of that ball. Unfortunatly for you it goes too far right into foul territory.
  107. >This is it Anon, do or buy time. You step back and double check everything, your stance, your helmet, everything. Just need four straight homers, you can do this.
  108. >Windup number eleven comes, and this time you're fully prepared. You see where Trixie will be moving and adjust, and are rewarded with your second smashed ball.
  109. >At that Trixie looks unnerved. Picking up another ball she doesn't wait for your signal and begins her windup.
  110. >Pitch twelve, thirteen, and fourteen come and go, and all of them are crushed out of the park. Trixie tried everything to try throwing you off, adjusting her speed, turning her body, everything... except the direction her head moved before her pitch.
  111. >Dash herself found her smugness transforming into nervousness, into fear. Fluttershy and friends are still cheering your successes as they come, and look more exited than than you've seen in a while.
  112. "Alright Trixie, last one, lemme have it!"
  113. >Barely concealing her frustration Trixie lets out a single snort. "You'll get it alright, Anon!"
  114. >Once again Trixie starts her wind up and does her level best to draw your attention to where she wants it to be, but you've figured out her trick. The ball comes out in the place it should and in the direction it should.
  115. >You take that final swing and like its brothers before it, smash that baseball clear out of the park.
  116. >Flutters breaks into the loudest cheers you've ever heard from her, while Dash and Trixie simply stand there in disbelief. Like the good sport you are you walk over to Trixie and kneel down next to her.
  117. "Hey Trix, thanks for pitching for me."
  118. >Trixie stays silent for a while before turning to you. "How? How did..."
  119. "How did I win?"
  120. >She nods, not wanting to admit it out loud.
  121. "I figured out your secret, Trixie."
  122. >The color begins to drain from her face before you continue.
  123. "Don't worry Trixie, your trick is safe with me. A magician never tells after all."
  124. >Her color returns as she looks at you with gratitude before remembering Fluttershy and Dash are nearby. Returning to her haughty persona she lifts her nose into the air.
  125. >"Hmph, Trixie admits you have some talent at baseball... for a colt."
  126. >You stand and start walking with Trixie to her wagon.
  127. "Heh, can't let that go can you?"
  128. >"Nope. You might have skill, Anon, but that won't change the fact that baseball is a mare's sport. Most stallions either play softball or not at all."
  129. "Eh, you're right. Didn't really want to change the status quo anyway. Caramel's annoying enough."
  130. >You arrive at Trixie's wagon to see Dash is still unresponsive. Kneeling down you snap your finggers in front of her face.
  131. "Hey Dash, you have anything to say there?"
  132. >She doesn't lose her thousand yard stare, but it does slowly morph into a look of awe.
  133. >>>"Woah..."
  134. >You made the pony go 'woah'. That accounts for something right?
  135. >>>"That was AWESOME! I can't believe you actually hit four home runs in a row!"
  136. "Yea Dash, I can barely believe it myself."
  137. >And you can't. You need to go see Twiggles to make sure no funny business is afoot.
  138. >>>"You have GOT to let me pitch against you, Anon! Trixie here is okay-
  139. >"The Great and Powerful Trixie is more than 'okay' Rainbow Dash!"
  140. >>>"- but she can't hold a candle to Rainbow 'Fastball' Dash!"
  141. >Trixie just rolls her eyes and starts hooking up to her wagon.
  142. "See ya Trix, say hi to commie horse for me."
  143. >"Trixie will make no promises."
  144. >That gets a laugh out of you as you wave goodbye. Turning back to Dash you admit that her idea does sound fun, but you're tired and have a bet to collect.
  145. "You know what, we'll do that tomorrow."
  146. >>>"What? Why?"
  147. "Because /somepony/ is buying drinks at the Ponyville bar tonight."
  148. >>>"I- I...
  149. >You have her trapped and she knows it.
  150. >>>"Fine. Just be here tomorrow before noon, alright?"
  151. "Alright Rainbow I'll be here. Flutters you want to come drinking with us? Dash is buying."
  152. >Fluttershy shakes her head.
  153. >>"Oh no thank you. I need to make sure Mr. Badger isn't bothering the Foxes again."
  154. "Alright, take care Fluttershy."
  155. >With a wave she flies off toward her own house. As soon as she's out of earshot you hear a sigh of relief from your remaining companion.
  156. "What? Don't want to buy cider for your friends?"
  157. >>>"Stop trying to bankrupt me, Anon! The Wonderbolts only pay so much you know."
  158. "Yea yea. Come on, lets go."
  159. >With a spring in your step you and Dash gather your baseball gear and head back into Ponyville.
  160. >Today was a home run of a day.
RAW Paste Data