on *:text:!buttsecks*:#mubns-united:{
  var %buttsecks = $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0)))
  while ($nick == %buttsecks) || (%buttsecks == $me) {
    var %buttsecks = $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0)))
  }
  msg $chan Ouch, looks like its your turn to get anal'd %buttsecks
  describe $chan bends %buttsecks over....
}