Vorpas eats a bone person

Alright, you enter the shadows and see the skeletons.
STRIFE!
@ATtheorytime[DM]
Our C1 Skelezombeton fight is way better :P
Vampsquirrel
roll for initiative
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled for initiative error: malformed expression
Vampsquirrel
roll 2#1d20-1
Vorpas_Jabwak
:V
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 2#1d20-1 [ 1d20=5 ]{4}, [ 1d20=9 ]{8}
Vorpas_Jabwak
lol
Puny skeles
<one sec gettin sheet up>
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=19 ]{21}
Vampsquirrel
You go first, you go very first.
Vorpas_Jabwak
brb
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Vorpas_Jabwak
sorrry, costum shit
Vampsquirrel
S'all good, it's your turn you may begin moving.
Vorpas_Jabwak
Vorpas runs over to bite one of the fuckers!
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=18 ]{20}
Vorpas_Jabwak
Roll 1d6+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d6+2 [ 1d6=2 ]{4}
Vampsquirrel
Your jaws close on their bony body, leaving them heavily damaged.
@ATtheorytime[DM]
< Skeletons have resistance to piercing IIRC >
> just FYI >
Vampsquirrel
<Vorpas, are you still with us?>
Vorpas_Jabwak
<BECK>
<sorry more costume shiiiit>
You then attempt to punch the bag o bones!
Roll 1d20+3
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+3 [ 1d20=17 ]{20}
Vorpas_Jabwak
<i mean +2>
You deal 3 damage!
Vampsquirrel
<still works>
Your fist knocks the skeleton's head clean off his body, and he falls to the ground in a heap.
Vorpas_Jabwak
End turn
Vampsquirrel
The other skeleton flails itself at you, it seems they aren't very coordinated.
roll 1d20-1
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=12 ]{11}
Vorpas_Jabwak
It misses
Vampsquirrel
Your turn now.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You attempt to snatch the Skele off the ground! (grapple)
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=20 ]{22}
Vorpas_Jabwak
<PFFFFT>
Vampsquirrel
You successfully grapple the skeleton's pile of bones. Those bones never saw it coming, but now they're locked in your hold, unable to escape no matter what they try.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You pummel the Skele1
roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=9 ]{11}
Vorpas_Jabwak
>hit?>
Vampsquirrel
Which skele are you pummeling? The one whose bones you are holding or the one still standing?
Vorpas_Jabwak
<holding>
Vampsquirrel
You punch the bones, dealing 3 damage to them.
Vorpas_Jabwak
End turn
Vampsquirrel
The other skeleton continues flailing at you, also the bones within your arms seem to have begun struggling to reform into a skeleton.
roll 1d20-1
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=20 ]{19}
Vampsquirrel
roll 2d4-1
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 2d4-1 [ 2d4=5 ]{4}
Vorpas_Jabwak
<ohshitson>
Vampsquirrel
The skeleton's flailing hits you, dealing 4 damage.
Vorpas_Jabwak
<itscritcityoverhere>
"Ow."
12/16
Vampsquirrel
roll 1d20
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=4 ]{4}
Vampsquirrel
Your turn.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You bite the bones currently in your arms.
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=17 ]{19}
Vorpas_Jabwak
Roll 1d12+@
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d12+@ error: malformed expression
Vorpas_Jabwak
Roll 1d12+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d12+2 [ 1d12=5 ]{7}
Vampsquirrel
Your jaw connects crushing the bones. You can feel the bones stop trying to reform.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You rush over to the next skeleton and attempt to punch it
WITH YOUR FIST
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=10 ]{12}
Vampsquirrel
Your fist connects with the skeleton, but it seems to take it better than the last.
Vorpas_Jabwak
<dice?>
Vampsquirrel
<What dice? you used the minor action which does 3 damage>
Vorpas_Jabwak
<diceeee?>
<sorry lost connect there for a moment>
End turn.
Vampsquirrel
The skeleton continues to flail at you, you begin to wonder why it just keeps doing the same thing over and over again, before realizing that it doesn't have a brain.
roll 1d20-1
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=16 ]{15}
Vampsquirrel
roll 1d4-1
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d4-1 [ 1d4=2 ]{1}
Vorpas_Jabwak
<hiiiit>
11/16
"Heh"
Vampsquirrel
Your turn once again.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You attempt to bite the idiot
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=4 ]{6}
Vorpas_Jabwak
<miss?>
Vampsquirrel
The skeleton's wild flailing causes you to miss.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You attempt to punch!
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=2 ]{4}
Vorpas_Jabwak
You miss again
end turn
<dear god ive run outta good rolls>
Vampsquirrel
You think if it had the ability to speak, the skeleton would call you an idiot, since it doesn't it just keeps on flailing.
roll 1d20-1
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=2 ]{1}
Vampsquirrel
The skeleton flails into its own face, taking 1 damage.
Vorpas_Jabwak
"What a lyttle bytch"
Vampsquirrel
It'd be bashful of its earlier insult.
Your turn.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You attempt to bite again
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=5 ]{7}
Vorpas_Jabwak
Then to punch!
Vampsquirrel
You barely miss the skeleton.
Vorpas_Jabwak
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=4 ]{6}
Vorpas_Jabwak
. . . .
<fuckman>
End turn
Vampsquirrel
You once again miss the skeleton, everyone's embarrassed for both of you.
The skeleton flails, perpetually.
roll 1d20-1
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=14 ]{13}
Vampsquirrel
roll 1d4-1
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d4-1 [ 1d4=2 ]{1}
Vorpas_Jabwak
10/16
"GOD DAMNYT STOP FLAYLYNG"
Vampsquirrel
You hear the shuffling of other undead in the distance.
Your turn.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You attempt to bite again out of raagggee
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=17 ]{19}
Vorpas_Jabwak
Roll 1d6+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d6+2 [ 1d6=6 ]{8}
Vampsquirrel
Your bite breaks the skeleton into a pile of bones, you can see them slowly attempting to reform.
Vorpas_Jabwak
<wut i roll? lost connect again T_T>
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Vampsquirrel
((you rolled an 8, the skeleton broke into little skele-bits but is trying to come back together.>
Vorpas_Jabwak
You mush it with your foot.
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=12 ]{14}
Vampsquirrel
You smash your foot on the skeletons bones. Their attraction is a little weaker, but they're still slowly reforming.
Vorpas_Jabwak
<can mush more?>
<wait wait, i have a better idea>
Vampsquirrel
No, you only have your move action remaining.
Vorpas_Jabwak
End turn.
Vampsquirrel
roll 1d20
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=15 ]{15}
Vampsquirrel
The skeleton begins to reform anew.
It appears to be a third of the way complete.
Your turn.
Vorpas_Jabwak
<how big are the pieces?>
Vampsquirrel
<It's just a collection of adult sized bones, they range in size the way you'd expect.>
<The reforming process has brought a few joints back together, the feet are recognizable, little bits are sticking together.>
Vorpas_Jabwak
You begin captcheloging the parts of the skeleton that are small enough, ie everything but the skull, ribcage, and pelvis.
<thank youuuuuu Throat modus>
@ATtheorytime[DM]
< Eat the skele-pelvis >
< Do iiiiiiit>
Vampsquirrel
You begin eating the pieces, you're weird as hell.
Vorpas_Jabwak
<its too big man, i cant fit it into his mouth>
Vampsquirrel
Make a CON check to eat the pieces.
Vorpas_Jabwak
Oh come on, the captchelog port is at the back of his throat
its not like its going to damage his stomach
Vampsquirrel
Just do it, I'm trying to see how many you eat.
Vorpas_Jabwak
But, it doesnt fill him up :V
It just goes into a card
But ok
Roll 1d20+3
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+3 [ 1d20=3 ]{6}
Vorpas_Jabwak
<shitson>
Vampsquirrel
You manage to captchalogue a few choice limbs, looks like you got a foot and an arm.
roll 1d20
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=5 ]{5}
Vampsquirrel
the bones rustle a bit, but don't get any closer to reforming.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You attempt to captchelog the other foot and arm
Roll 1d20+3
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+3 [ 1d20=11 ]{14}
Vampsquirrel
You have now captchalogued all the skeleton's limbs.
roll 1d20
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=17 ]{17}
Vampsquirrel
The skull flops atop the ribcage and tries to bite you.
roll 1d20-4
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-4 [ 1d20=13 ]{9}
Vorpas_Jabwak
It misses
Vampsquirrel
It can't quite reach you, and falls over on its face.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You grab the skele by its neck, attempting a grapple.
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=9 ]{11}
Vampsquirrel
roll 1d20-5
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-5 [ 1d20=18 ]{13}
Vorpas_Jabwak
<shit son>
Vampsquirrel
The skeleton twists its body out from your grip.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You attempt to rip out his mandible and and captchelog it
Roll 1d20+3
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+3 [ 1d20=7 ]{10}
Vorpas_Jabwak
*its
Vampsquirrel
You succeed, his mandible comes out and through yours.
Vorpas_Jabwak
End turn
Vampsquirrel
roll 1d20-7
`DICE
Vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-7 [ 1d20=15 ]{8}
Vampsquirrel
The skeleton tries to bite you with only the upper half of its mouth, it fails.
Vorpas_Jabwak
You punch it in its mouth, attempting to break its teeth.
Roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Vorpas_Jabwak rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=20 ]{22}
Vorpas_Jabwak
<ohshit to blow his skull up>
<dont*>
<i just wanna break his teeth>
Vampsquirrel
Its head shatters, and it falls to bits.
It is no longer attempting to reform.
You have "killed" the two skeletons, you gain 20 xp.
Vorpas_Jabwak
Two?
oh yeah
nvm
<lvl?>
Vampsquirrel
<it's in the phb, but iirc that should bring you up to two.>
Vorpas_Jabwak
Disappointed that you cannot have a skeleton pet, you abscond to the lighted portion of YOUR catacombs.
Vampsquirrel
==END==