Helping Mihalis

[12:21] Kofe asks, "You wanted to have a talk?"
[12:26] Mihalis Lovain says, "Oh right."
[12:26] Mihalis Lovain says, "Let's go somewhere more private."
[12:35] Towards a more suitable setting for the pair to converse, Mihalis's hands slid into pockets as his form hunched ever so slightly, violet orbs beneath blue locks peering towards the idle citizen of Ilburg as they moved towards Kofe's room.

A brief examination and then he was moving for a cushion himself, hands sliding out to rest within his lap as he paused for a moment, frown overtaking his visage for the slightest of seconds before he started to speak.

"Fought another occultist, someone who was...new. A beginner, barely able to stand up to myself."

Mihalis's words paused, tongue wetting his lips as he further recalled the memory. The face of Valero, every contour seared into his memory as he remembered how the fledgling occultist had lost himself to his own magic.

A stark difference from the Lovain, but it made him recall past moments where he too had lost himself within the depraved grip that came with his tainted mana.

"Made me think, truly think about the magic I wield and how.."

Words trailed.

"How a single mistake and I'll lose myself within my own magic, something that I gained to truly break the shackles that had bound me within Theria, within a bubble of existence that I couldn't break free from."

"And now.."

A bitter chuckle, one that would be unexpected for those that knew the carefree Lovain, perhaps it was the sylvanaum he was slowly coming down from that had given him that extra nudge.

"Now my own magic has shackled me hahaha..."
(Mihalis Lovain)
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[12:46] Kofe sat himself down on the cushion after having lead Mihalis in a spot where honesty could shine without shame. Where truth could reign. Golden eyes remained upon the man as he allowed his story to flourish, ears listening to his every word, analyzing. There was a tinge of pain that could be seen when Mihalis spoke of fighting a younger occultist. Regret? No, likely not. This was more akin to a bit of fear.

It's as more words flowed out that Kofe finally understood the kind of pain that this man was going through. This... madness wasn't one that made him violent persay, but he seemed afraid for the freedom that he reached out for, fought for, and turned himself into a monster for.

All of that pain, and he still felt shackled. This time not to his home, but to the very spells he cast. Attacking the problem at its core finally came, and now? Kofe would ensure that he'd do something about it.

"How does it shackle you?" He asked. "Is it... pressing you down, making you numb, or making you do things you just wouldn't do normally?"

Clarifying for both him and Mihalis felt needed.
(Kofe)
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[12:55] How does it shackle you.

An exhale of air left Mihalis's nostrils, as questions left Kofe's lips he further thought on the matter, delved deeper into past situations where the tainted mana that freely ran through his magic circuits had affected him.

And so he spoke further, first giving more information, more of a backstory to why he did such things. Perhaps it would give Kofe, or even himself a more deeper insight into his own slowly fraying sanity.

"My vengeance is sated. Therian's leadership will now lead them to a more brighter future, but more importantly I won't have to worry about actively watching over my back when it comes to those within the mountain."

A benefit he strove for. Not truly looking out for those within the mountain, but more so for himself.

"I have no reason to kill, to allow my destructive energy to strike out towards those who I will gain nothing from. And yet the Stellus within Nysea I goaded, attacked for no true reason.."

Apart from the fact the Faith within Nysea had a deep hatred of occultist, the moment had no need for Mihalis to truly act out, it only further painted a target on his back to have their Keeper's chase after the man with even more fervor.

A fight he had no true part in, his survival once again compromised all because he couldn't hold back from letting his mana flow.

"Defeated her, as you know. But, in that moment I just couldn't help myself, as though I had to do it, had to strike out."

Words trailed, fingers unconsciously digging into the palms of his hands as nails cut into flesh, violet orbs alit with an esoteric glow as he subconsciously recalled the scene.

"I had to cause pain to her."

Mihalis's words came to a close,a snort following as he chuckled bitterly. Survival was something he very much so desired, and he had been running for most of his life. Past actions leading to the Lovain being actively hunted by all within Esshar.

And he had finally been granted the freedom to do as he pleased, Barsburg focused upon by others, and other battles that he wouldn't be dragged into slowly happening.

And yet he had once again put a more focused target on himself. A gloved hand rose to casually point towards his head.

"It's making me not think properly because I do things, I can't help myself, maybe it's the damn sylvanaum I have running through me too, but if someone says something, anything insulting.."

"I can't help but goad, can't help but strike out with the intent to reap their life."

Another exhale, one that had his form deflating as he stared towards Kofe across the table."

"Luckily I didn't with Del, holding back at the last moment to instead give her a mere taste of what I have to go through, and well she broke..."

"...They always do."
(Mihalis Lovain)
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[12:56] How does it shackle you.

An exhale of air left Mihalis's nostrils, as questions left Kofe's lips he further thought on the matter, delved deeper into past situations where the tainted mana that freely ran through his magic circuits had affected him.

And so he spoke further, first giving more information, more of a backstory to why he did such things. Perhaps it would give Kofe, or even himself a more deeper insight into his own slowly fraying sanity.

"My vengeance is sated. Therian's leadership will now lead them to a more brighter future, but more importantly I won't have to worry about actively watching over my back when it comes to those within the mountain."

A benefit he strove for. Not truly looking out for those within the mountain, but more so for himself.

"I have no reason to kill, to allow my destructive energy to strike out towards those who I will gain nothing from. And yet the Stellus within Nysea I goaded, attacked for no true reason.."

Apart from the fact the Faith within Nysea had a deep hatred of occultist, the moment had no need for Mihalis to truly act out, it only further painted a target on his back to have their Keeper's chase after the man with even more fervor.

A fight he had no true part in, his survival once again compromised all because he couldn't hold back from letting his mana flow.

"Defeated her, as you know. But, in that moment I just couldn't help myself, as though I had to do it, had to strike out."

Words trailed, fingers unconsciously digging into the palms of his hands as nails cut into flesh, violet orbs alit with an esoteric glow as he subconsciously recalled the scene.

"I had to cause pain to her."

Mihalis's words came to a close,a snort following as he chuckled bitterly. Survival was something he very much so desired, and he had been running for most of his life. Past actions leading to the Lovain being actively hunted by all within Esshar.

And he had finally been granted the freedom to do as he pleased, Barsburg focused upon by others, and other battles that he wouldn't be dragged into slowly happening.

And yet he had once again put a more focused target on himself. A gloved hand rose to casually point towards his head.

"It's making me not think properly because I do things, I can't help myself, maybe it's the damn sylvanaum I have running through me too, but if someone says something, anything insulting.."

"I can't help but goad, can't help but strike out with the intent to reap their life."

Another exhale, one that had his form deflating as he stared towards Kofe across the table.

"Luckily I didn't with Del, holding back at the last moment to instead give her a mere taste of what I have to go through, and well she broke..."

"...They always do."
(Mihalis Lovain)
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[13:20] There always was a reason for someone to do something horrible. Mihalis had kept his tucked away for long, yet finally hearing about them? It made sense. It explained why a man would reach out for power that could change the world, even if it were to hurt him.

Death and destruction needed not to be there anymore, yet, Mihalis hadn't been able to help himself when it came to goading and taunting Del. To forcing a fight to happen. It was... stronger than him, it seemed. Kofe knew that feeling all too well; when his own instincts took over at the depths of anger it came out explosively.

Kofe needed not to speak when hearing the tale. It was best to let the occultist express himself and spell out everything that felt like a truth. It was different from just feeling it; words brought clarity.

I had to cause pain to her.

There it was. The madness. The uncontrollable urge to destroy and hurt where most would know to stop, to control themselves. This was the kind of insanity that the Lovain was suffering.

A small, slow nod came from the Rhoynish before his lips parted.

"It's no longer about survival and freedom, then. Or rather; it's not your mind's first focus."

A long pause came before Kofe asked a question that was more important than any other. Beyond the reasons or the feelings.

"Do you regret it? Even if it's someone that deserved to be hurt - do you regret giving out that pain? Is it something you wanted to do?"
(Kofe)
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[13:28] Questions to be answered, a tenseness spread across Mihalis's form as he listened to Kofe's words, waiting for a reply after he had spoken for so long about his reasons for most of his actions.

Regret.

Was that something he could even feel? It had been so long since he had truly thought about others, Kalina worming her way into his life had caused him to once again feel that Familia type of love.

Unconditional, without a need for him to worry about betrayal.

"Do I regret harming her?"

Mihalis's words paused, truly thinking about it before finally allowing words to spill forth from his parted lips.

"Yes, wow, haha..."

So willing to speak, laughter pervaded the room, a hand rising to have a palm to crawl along his face and run down his visage as he rubbed against his temple.

"I regret harming her for such petty reasons, there was no need. It only made matters worse for myself, always looking to kill, to destroy those that stand in front of my path."

"A more direct approach that my magic only seems to urge on, it.. it makes things so much easier not having to resist, not having to fight back.."

Tainted mana wisped, fingers digging further into his temple as he sighed softly.

"It seems I gave in a long time ago huh, stopped actually fighting for my freedom."
(Mihalis Lovain)
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[13:41] Kofe could feel the pain that hid beneath those laughs. It was no smiling matter, yet Mihalis couldn't help but realize the pathetic ending that awaited him if he kept himself on those tracks. Of fighting not for freedom, but for a fear of that freedom being robbed away. Was it a fear of missing out? Of what-ifs and maybes that kept on tugging at Mihalis's mind? There was a moment of thought that came to the Lorespeaker before he finally decided to take it upon himself to help. On a personal level.

".. Then let's remind you what you fight for."

A deep breath was drawn in by Kofe before he focused upon his deepest strengths, his powers to.. manifest his heart's deepest desires. This ability of his to reach into another's mind, and play his heart out.

A melody picked up, one swift, hopeful. It was like an eagle's flight. Soaring through the skies without anything to ever stop it. A predator that was bound not by the chains that shackled it, but rather by the being it was. A dive, one that came down to sweep up a prey and take it for itself without one bit of trouble.

Easy.

It didn't make this eagle a monster, however. It wasn't a thrill to kill that made it sweep down, but merely the need for food. There was difference. This beast in flight was living its life, yet, not allowing its actions, its ability, and its freedom to define who it was.

Utter, and true freedom.

An eagle's flight, contained within a Symphony of the heart. One that pulled from Iberl's influence in order to try and not only reach Mihalis, but strike at those deep desires, at that fear, at his broken mind. To mend injuries that only the heart could see, injuries that eyes wouldn't find.

Cosmic magic was known to cleanse one's soul, to wash away their sin and send them into the next life. Kofe's empowered melodies pulled from that very same cleansing ability to try and... wash away the pain. To remain in one's mind, to protect them, now, and the following day.

It was more than a mere melodic repose; this was a hopeful shield, a loving embrace, a desire to change the world.

To bring freedom of mind.
(Kofe)
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[13:55] It was rather haunting the more he thought about it, ironic in a way that his magic that had first given him freedom to do as he pleased had so easily taken it away as it took root within himself. A terrifying prospect considering the magic was something he needed, something that protected him when those that despised the Lovain struck out for his life.

Plenty of enemies gained due to past actions.

And then came Kofe's words, his brow furrowing for a moment as magic let itself be known, a melody piercing through his thoughts, his mind seemingly drawn into an immersive setting where he watched on.

An eagle, a king of the skies that reigned supreme.

Freedom given form.

His minds-eye watched on as the eagle swooped in for a kill, for the simple reason of survival, for continuing to fuel his actions with the need of substance, a soft laughter broke out.

Unfettered by expectation, the beast lived its life with a simplistic attitude that befitted its status.

Mihalis's lids slowly came to a close as if to soak himself within the feeling that slowly pervaded throughout his own mind, magical circuits getting a touch of Kofe's magic as the man freely allowed the foreign magic to aid him.

An unexpected response perhaps, but the Lovain was hopeful, and so his mind was left undefended, his circuits unguarded.

It was.. an interesting experience as the soothing melodies seemed to take root, the darkness that always looked to tickle against senses to constantly allow him to lose himself within the feeling of destruction given form ebbed away.

Although, it was forever there, it was more tame. More controlled, a sense of relief spreading throughout his body, the tension disappearing as a soft laugher sung out from Mihalis.

A feeling he had missed ever since he was a child, a non-magi that hadn't went down such a route to have his entire being tainted by the magic he had craved.

"So this is what I missed. How long will this last?"

Mihalis's question came swiftly, form shuffling within the cushion as he allowed his thoughts to turn towards the occult magic that he could still sense, and yet was more manageable, more malleable to his will.
(Mihalis Lovain)
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[14:07] It was nothing more than hope, an experiment, an attempt at refining this method of protecting one's mind against the ill effects of insanity, be it from occult influences or drug withdrawal. Was it foolproof? Not at all. And Kofe wasn't afraid to be honest with Mihalis when the question came.

"I don't know. I haven't perfected it yet. But... if you're asking that it's because you're feeling better, isn't it?"

Even if it wasn't perfect it had mended Mihalis' mind. It had brought him to a greater level of clarity. This was good. This gave hope. His lips brought a smile as the song gently seemed to die out from within the occultist's mind. He wouldn't be immune to his own weaknesses but... This could help.

This should help.

It looked like the Lovain was... happy. And not in a predatory, killing manner.

Genuinely happy.
(Kofe)
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[14:15] Unexpected.

The affect Kofe's own magic had on the Lovain's mind was one that had caused his interest to be piqued, violet orbs never leaving the rhoynish's face as he hummed quietly.

It was welcomed, a new avenue of growth for the man, a new trail to take that'll hopefully lead to his magic truly becoming his own, and not having to worry about the tiny infliction of madness that constantly crop up at the worst of times.

"Better is an understatement, my mind is much more calm, not at war with myself. Although I have no idea if this will truly hold up if another attacks me, but for now it's perfect."

A taste had been given, violet orbs finally leaving Kofe's visage to roam around the room, a smile curling on his lips that was clearly not the usual gesture from the man.

One not of condescension, but one of mere joy.

"It's a start... A good start, one that has at least given me hope once more."

Freedom was always his goal, unfettered actions that would continue to benefit himself and those that had decided to stick with him, hands returning into the pockets of his jacket as he leaned backwards ever so slightly.

"When this fades, which it eventually will. That's when the true test comes.."

Withdrawal.

He could already see that when the wall of melodies broke apart, the rush of corruption to flood his mind would be where he was truly put to the test.

It was a shame it appeared that another matter would interfere at the same time, his sylvanaum within his body slowly ebbing away, soon to force him to crave more.

Two trials.
(Mihalis Lovain)
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[14:27] Would it have had any effect if Mihalis had left his mind shut? No, likely not. This wasn't something that he'd force upon people. They had to listen. To accept it. To seek help. He was no miracle worker, but... This may be the avenue to a whole new world of possibilities. One where people would not have to be stuck within their own mind, trapped.

Perfect.

For Mihalis to qualify it as such meant a lot. It meant there was progress, beyond merely calming one down. That there was... a way to help. A smile was present when the man spoke of hope for a new start. The very same thing that Kofe hoped the world could give Mihalis when the treatment would be perfected - when he'd have it all under control.

"I'll be there for when it all comes crashing." Kofe said. There was no other way to put it. When this withdrawal, this void would be left it was sure to bring all sorts of emotions forward. It would be a disaster, but Mihalis wouldn't be alone.

And even if Kofe wasn't there? Kalina may just be.
(Kofe)
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[14:31] Mihalis's head lightly bopped.

"Good, good."

It seemed he wouldn't be going through everything by himself, unexpected truly. He was expecting to continue to have to handle things by himself, but the world had taken a turn where the Lovain had actually gained people to properly speak with.

People he would defend when the time came.

Shocking, even for him to think upon.

"And now, now we wait. While I enjoy these moments of peace, where I can merely do as I please without worrying."

An amused glint revealed itself in his gaze, mirth injected into his words as he rose to a stand.

"I am going to head out then Kofe, rest on the bench for awhile as I think over things and merely... enjoy myself."

Free.

No longer did the constant whispers of destruction tickle away at the inner most mind of the man. He could truly think without a constant worry that he would strike out.

That those close to him would be harmed within his wrath.
(Mihalis Lovain)
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[14:35] Kofe nodded at the suggestion. Some time to think on his own would do Mihalis some good. While the Rhoynish had reached out to help him, there was still a few steps the occultist needed to take on his own to truly feel freedom, even if it was for a fleeting moment.

"I'll be around." He says, moving towards the exit.
(Kofe)