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- >Day Braces in Equestria.
- >”We’ll be back by midnight. Make sure Twilight is put to bed at 8. Anon is grounded so keep him inside.”
- >”Sure thing, Ms. Sparkle.”
- >”Anon, you be good for Cadence, alright?”
- >You roll your eyes at her from the couch.
- >”What about me, Mom? You don’t need to ask me to be good,” Twilight says.
- >”Of course not, sweetie. You always behave. Bye.”
- >And with that they are gone.
- >And hell has just begun.
- >Of course, to the casual observer it would appear to be paradise.
- >You have everything you want - even the semi-awkward almost love from your foster parents.
- >They haven’t quite gotten to that point just yet.
- >Maybe that’s why you weren’t formally adopted.
- >Now you’re stuck in a sort of in-between position, but at least your prospects look good.
- >Everything is just fine… except for Cadence.
- >Just look at her.
- >She maintains eye contact with you.
- >Her half lidded eyes gazing into your very soul.
- >Begging – no… demanding your attention.
- >She opens her mouth for a smile.
- >And there they are.
- >Braces.
- >You hate braces.
- >Its unnatural to change God’s will.
- >That never stopped your family… your real family, from putting them on you.
- >No matter how often you brushed they always had a smell to them.
- >Rotting bits of meat clinging to your mouth.
- >Ponies very rarely eat meat, so they don’t have to worry about that quite as much.
- >However, that smell never goes away.
- >Sure you can fight it off for a time, but it’s always lingering.
- >This isn't weird you assure yourself.
- >Everyone has an aversion.
- >Hell, some peeople don't like hard boiled eggs.
- >”Cadence, look at the book I’m reading.”
- >”Oh, ‘An Introduction to Geometry.’ That sounds exciting,” Cadence says with her practiced mock enthusiasm.
- >It almost sounds genuine.
- >She’s just playing along.
- >Biding her time.
- >”It is!” Twilight announces.
- >”Why don’t you go to your room and read it then?”
- >”Okay.”
- >Twilight climbs the stairs to her room.
- >You don’t hear the door shut.
- >You might still be safe.
- >”Hi, Anon.”
- >This was inevitable.
- >Might as well get it over with.
- “Hello, Cadence.”
- >She is standing a few feet from you.
- >Probably deciding whether or not to sit next to you.
- >”Where’s your brother?”
- “Shining? He’s at his part time job.”
- >”I didn’t know he was working.”
- “He just started a week or two ago.”
- >”So you’re the stallion of the house right now,” she says not raising her tone on the last syllable.
- >Like she’s telling you, not asking.
- >You frown at her.
- “Cut the crap, Cadence. Just leave me alone, and everything is going to be just fine.”
- >Now that she knows both Twilight and Shining are out of the picture, she drops the chipper school girl act.
- >Her voice drops her just a bit.
- >She probably thinks it sounds sexier that way.
- >She reads too many teen magazines.
- >”What do you mean, Anon? I’m just making light conversation, but we can move to… heavier subjects if you like.”
- >It only takes a moment for her to wobble toward the couch to sit next to you.
- >Again, she makes the mistake of trying to act sexy.
- >If you eventually end up liking ponies that way, you would still not be attracted to such a lanky and uncoordinated mare as her.
- >She makes sure not to touch you.
- >She made that mistake before, and is careful not to repeat it.
- >Still, she’s dangerously close to you.
- “Cadence, I don’t like you.”
- >She tries to laugh to shrug off that comment, but you can tell that it’s fake.
- >”I’m just playing with you, Anon. Lighten up.”
- >You look her in her eyes.
- >It’s a standoff.
- >Finally, she relents and looks away.
- >Now the room is filled with awkward silence.
- >Time to change tactics.
- “What about Shining? He likes you.”
- >She sighs.
- >It’s real this time.
- >”Shining is…” she looks for the words, “not for me. He’s kind of weird.”
- >She’s one to talk.
- >You keep yourself from chuckling.
- “Maybe if you got to know him better, you would find something in common with him.”
- >”Maybe…” she offers. “And maybe if you got to know me better we could at least be friends.”
- >She doesn’t look at you.
- >The awkward silence returns.
- “Just friends?”
- >”Don’t make me promise that, Anon,” she says, blushing slightly.
- >You think for a moment.
- >You’ve probably been too hard on her.
- >She’s just infatuated with you because you are so different.
- >Give her a chance.
- >Against your better judgment you smile and nod at her.
- >”Cool.”
- >
- >A few hours pass and you get to know her story.
- >Where she grew up, why she has that slight scar on her back right leg.
- >She listens intently as you describe your previous life, and even makes you both a snack.
- >Her sandwich making skills need some work, but you overlook this flaw.
- >You decide that she’s not that bad.
- >Somehow while you weren’t paying attention she managed to shift so that her shoulder is touching yours.
- >Her soft body is pleasantly warm against your skin.
- >She doesn’t lay a hoof on you, as if to make sure that this could all be explained away as a simple misunderstanding.
- >She can stay there for a bit if she wants.
- >Silence returns, but its not awkward this time.
- >What else is left to say?
- >You both know so much about each other now.
- >She shifts again to face you.
- >”I know that you only tolerate me… but I have to say it. I like you.”
- >You put an arm around her.
- >Maybe you like her too.
- >Why does this have to be so confusing?
- >She pulls herself toward you.
- >Unlike before this is obviously intentional.
- >She looks at you with her big pink eyes.
- >Why do you have to be such a softy?
- >She moves toward you slowly.
- >Her lips part.
- >In this moment everyth-
- >FUCK
- >Her lips lock against yours.
- >You can taste rotting bits of leafy greens.
- >You push her off of you.
- “When’s the last time you brushed your teeth?”
- >”This morning. Is it really that bad?”
- “Yes it is.”
- >She looks at you like a deer in headlights.
- >You hear the door open and she scrambles off of you.
- >”Hello Mrs. Sparkle,” she says, returning to her chipper self.
- >You ignore them and walk up to your room.
- >You should ask out that girl that’s obsessed with oral hygiene.
- >At least she won’t taste bad.
- [spoiler]>You hope.[/spoiler]
- fin
- >Day Braces in Equestria, cont.
- >First period is going to start in a few minutes.
- >You spent the last 15 minutes building up the courage to ask out Colgate.
- >There she is.
- >This is your chance.
- >You clear your throat before proceeding.
- >You strut over to show the other ponies how cool you are.
- “Hi, Colgate, how are you?”
- >She pokes her head out of her locker and gives what can only be described as a “oh… its you” look.
- >”I’m fine.”
- >Usually they ask you, ‘How you are doing?’ as well.
- >That’s how these things go.
- >Whatever. Just roll with it.
- ”I’m good too.”
- >”What do you want, Anon?”
- >Shit.
- “Who said I wanted anything?”
- >She presses her lips together – clearly unconvinced.
- >You’ll have to work on your acting later.
- “Alright, fine. I need a favor.”
- >”What kind of favor?”
- “Not much. You would hardly have to do anything.”
- >She raises an eyebrow.
- “I just need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.”
- >She laughs.
- >”You’re joking right?”
- >You frown at her.
- >"Oh, you're serious."
- “Com’n, Colgate. You owe me.”
- >”For what?”
- “I let you borrow a pen once, and you never gave it back.”
- >She magics over a new pen.
- >”Here.”
- >This isn’t going as well as you hoped.
- >Still it's a nice blue gel pen so you put it in your pocket.
- ”Listen, I’m your friend right? Friends help each other out.”
- >”I barely know you. I’m not going to pretend to be your girlfriend.”
- ”But we have so much in common. We both like oral hygiene.”
- 1/9
- >”Then you should brush more often. I can smell your breath from here.”
- >That's not very nice to say.
- >She sighs.
- >”Why do you need a girlfriend?”
- “It’s Cadence. She likes me and tried to make a move last night.”
- >”Yeah? You should be glad that anypony likes you.”
- ”I’m not that bad.”
- >She just smirks at this.
- ”She’s weird.”
- >”Anon, I don't appreciate you talking about my friend like that. You're the one that's weird.”
- >You forgot that they hang out together.
- >Unfortunatly you need a pretend girlfriend before lunch.
- >Hopefully she won't tell Cadence your plan.
- “I'm not weird. I’m more along the lines of quirky.”
- >”They are the same thing. You should just give up and be with her.”
- >The bell rings.
- >”Ugh. You’ve made us late to class. Thanks a lot.”
- >
- >Colgate is sitting in the second row of chairs.
- >You’re in the back row.
- >Though seats aren’t assigned, ponies can get very territorial.
- >The seat you got on the first day is usually the one you keep.
- >You write a note to Colgate.
- >It reads: [spoiler][/spoiler] “Will you go out with me? Yes/No.”
- >You put the note on Bon Bon’s desk and motion toward Colgate.
- >She passes it up the column to Big Mac.
- >He looks at the note and opens it up.
- >You try to wave at him to pass it on but he doesn't see you.
- >He opens the note and looks over at you confused.
- >You hide your face.
- >He scribbles something before passing the note back to Bon Bon, who promptly puts it on your desk.
- >No is circled three times.
- >God damn it.
- >You make a new note, and write Colgate’s name on it.
- >While the teacher isn’t -
- “Anon, are you passing notes?”
- >”OOooooo,” the class says in unison.
- ”No, ma’am.”
- >She trots over and grabs the note.
- >”Colgate, will you go out with me? Circle yes or no.”
- >You look over and Colgate has turned a bright shade of purple.
- >You shrink into your chair the rest of class.
- >
- >Back at the lockers.
- 2/9
- >”Why’d you have to do that? Now everypony is asking me if I’m going to date you.”
- “So, are you?”
- >”NO!”
- “Jeez, you’re acting like it’s a big deal or something.”
- >”I have standards, Anon. I’m not just going to date a… uh – what are you anyway?”
- ”I’m a monkey.”
- >”I’m not going to date a monkey. Besides, Cadence is my friend and I would never betray her.”
- “Com’n. I’ll do anything. Please. I just need to get Cadence off my back.”
- >”If I agree to date you will you leave me alone?”
- ”I don’t see how that would work out very well.”
- >”What?”
- “If I leave you alone, then no one will think we’re dating.”
- >Colgate raises a hoof to her chest and takes a deep breath.
- >Her hoof extends outwards as she exhales.
- “Feel better?”
- >”Not really.”
- “Great! So here’s the plan…”
- >
- >It’s lunchtime.
- >You know Colgate and Cadence both attend second period together.
- >Hopefully they didn't talk.
- >”Hi, Anon,” Cadence yells from across the lunchroom.
- >She’s sitting at a table with an open chair.
- >This will be perfect.
- >You will be able to completely crush her spirit.
- >Slowly you make your way over.
- >Each sway is calculated to give you the maximum amount of cool points.
- >Ponies all around you watch what you know is a glorious display of confidence.
- ”Hello, Cadence,” you say – emphasizing your distain for her.
- >You almost feel sorry for the emotional scarring you are about to unleash.
- >”How was class?”
- >You ignore her question.
- ”Cadence, as much as I enjoy these encounters… I have a girlfriend now.”
- >”That’s great, Anon!”
- >That chipper school girl act annoys you to no end.
- >”Who is she?”
- >She smirks while saying this.
- >She’s one cool customer.
- >You have to give her that.
- ”Instead of telling you, why don’t I show you? She’ll be coming through that door right ……….. NOW!”
- >The door stays closed.
- 3/9
- ”Any moment now.”
- >Still the door remains unmoved.
- >Cadence is unimpressed.
- >Fucking Colgate never listens to you.
- >She was supposed to crash through the door in a fit of lust.
- >”You know I wouldn’t just leave you hanging like that,” her voice drops slightly, “Anon.”
- >You just frown and open up your lunch box.
- >It’s salad and imitation crab again.
- >”So who is this girlfriend of yours anyway?”
- “Colgate.”
- >Cadence giggles at this.
- >"Colgate is one of my good friends. What makes you like her?”
- “She’s smart, fun, and she makes me laugh. Also, she isn’t obsessed about me.”
- >”I’m all those things, plus the last one. Don’t you want somep0ny who truly loves you?”
- “No, you’re just infatuated with me.”
- >”That's not true. I have very specific reasons for liking you. Anyway, I’m having a party at my place tonight. You can bring your 'girlfriend.'”
- >This will be perfect.
- >She will be in front of all of her friends when you publicly reject her.
- >No.
- >You should trick her into falling in love with your brother instead.
- >Shining Armor is technically not your brother, but you refer to your foster family members as such for convenience.
- >You hope they will adopt you formally.
- >If they fall in love then maybe Cadence will leave you alone.
- ”I’ll be there.”
- >”Awesome.”
- >Cadence gets up and throws away her trash.
- >The door bursts open.
- >”Anon, I can’t be without you! I must have you right now!”
- >Colgate flies through the air and into your arms.
- >She oversold the performance a bit, but it’s a good start.
- >Too bad her timing is off.
- >You move your arms and she falls to the ground.
- >”What, was that no good?”
- ”It was fine, just really late. Cadence already left.”
- >”Darn.”
- >She gets up and puts her lunch box on the table.
- ”Want to go to a party with me?”
- >
- >Back at your foster home.
- >”It’ll be fun.”
- >”You know I don’t like parties,” Shining Armor complains.
- ”Cadence will be there.”
- 4/9
- >”So? She likes you, not me.”
- ”We can change that. All we have to do is work together.”
- >”Okay. What should I do?”
- “First of all, don’t talk about that space show y-
- >”Space Journey: Deep Equestria Eight,” he corrects you.
- “Yeah. No one likes it. It’s a dumb show.”
- >”It’s not dumb. It explores different civilization’s interactions in a very important part of space.”
- ”Be that as it may, its nerdy. It’s a show, not a lifestyle.”
- >”I’ll just stay here then.”
- >He grabs his matching Space Journey plate and utensils and serves himself dinner.
- ”Shining, please. I need your help on this one.”
- >He shakes his head.
- >”Who’s going to watch Twilight?”
- “She can stay home alone. What’s the worst that could happen?”
- >
- >An hour later, at Cadence's house.
- >”Hey, Anon! I’m so glad that you could make it.”
- >Cadence tries to hug you but you take a step back.
- >She quickly catches herself and turns to Shining Armor.
- >”Oh, and your brother is here too.”
- >”Hi,” is all Shining squeaks out.
- >She doesn’t offer him a hug.
- >Cadence moves to the side and reveals a surprisingly busy party.
- >There are even a few cool ponies from school.
- >Thunderlane, the captain of the soccer team, lounges on the couch.
- >Big Mac is beside him drinking punch.
- >Cheerilee is spazing out on the dance floor.
- >There are also bunch of other ponies that you don’t know.
- >”We’ve got punch, chips, and games. Help yourselves.”
- >Thunderlane waves over Cadence and she excuses herself.
- >You turn to your brother to give him a pep talk.
- ”Hi? That’s all you can say? You won’t win her over like that.”
- >”I’m just rusty is all.”
- ”Let’s go get some liquid courage in you.”
- >You two walk over to the punch bowl.
- >As expected, it’s spiked with some hard alcohol.
- >Colgate and Berry Punch are talking in the kitchen.
- >Berry giggles as you walk in.
- 5/9
- ”Something going on in here?”
- >”No, I just told a joke.”
- >Berry covers her face and tries not to laugh.
- ”Shining and I would like to hear it.”
- >”It’s one of those, ‘you had to be there’ jokes."
- >”Yeah, you wouldn’t get it," Berry adds.
- >What are they hiding?
- ”You two met Shining right?”
- >”I haven’t,” Berry says as she offers a hoof.
- “Alright, You two get to know eachother. I’ll be right back. Com’n Colgate.”
- >”But, I’m having fun right here.”
- ”We need to talk Colgate.”
- >”Oooo… lover’s quarrel…” Berry giggles.
- >Colgate turns purple.
- >”Fine.”
- >She grabs her drink and follows you to an unused room.
- >”You need to lighten up, Anon, or this relationship isn’t going to work.”
- “We aren’t in a relationship.”
- >”Not with that attitude. I’m a method actor, Anon,” she says as she waves a hoof for emphasis. “Reality and pretend mesh together into one singular being.”
- >Out of all the mares in school you had to pick this one.
- ”Alright fine. We’re dating. Anyway we have to give Shining Armor and Cadence a chance to be alone together.”
- >Colgate thinks for a moment.
- >”We’re going to play seven minutes in heaven in an hour or so.”
- ”Really?”
- >”Yeah, didn’t you even look at the agenda posted on the refrigerator?”
- >Who plans out a party like that?
- ”That’s perfect! All we have to do is rig it.”
- >”Rig seven minutes in heaven?”
- ”Yes.”
- >”What is she wants to play spin the bottle instead?”
- ”That’s even better. Just use your magic to make it land on Shining and Cadence.”
- >”I don’t know. It sounds unethical.”
- ”It’s a game. Who cares?”
- 6/9
- >
- >An hour passes.
- >Cadence left you alone most of the night.
- >Shining never got the courage to speak with her.
- >Instead he spent his time chatting with Colgate about Space Journey.
- >At least he had someone to talk to.
- >”Alright, it’s time to play seven minutes in heaven!” Cadence announces.
- >Finally.
- >Ponies around you cheer.
- >”Everypony write your name and put it in a hat.”
- >Ponies take their turns putting names in either a male or female hat.
- >”I’ll read the names out,” Colgate offers.
- >This girl is a genius.
- >You’re going to have to get her something expensive to make up for this.
- >”Alright, first pony is… Cadence!”
- >Cadence fans her face with a hoof in mock embarrassment.
- >”Second name is…”
- >This is it.
- >”Anon!”
- >Fucking fuck.
- ”What the hell, Colgate?”
- >”I told you twice that Cadence and I are friends. Maybe if you listened you wouldn't be in this mess. So sorry.”
- >The ponies around you laugh.
- >She pretends to wipe her eyes in a crying motion.
- >Fucking bitch.
- >”That’s alright, Anon. It's our destiny to be together.”
- >Cadence grabs your hand and leads you to the closet.
- >The music is turned up to give you some privacy.
- >Through the door you can hear the bass booming.
- >A single dim bulb lights the closet.
- >”You’ve got me all alone, Anon. I hope you don’t take advantage of me…”
- >Cadence shifts and shows herself.
- >She’s already wet.
- ”Fucking gross.”
- >”Nopony will know what happens in here. We can keep it our little secret.”
- >She moves forward and puts her weight on you.
- >You try to push her away but she’s surprisingly strong.
- >She uses her magic to open your zipper.
- >A hoof makes it’s way under your underwear and grazes your manhood.
- >Though it feels good, you can never be with her.
- ”Stop it.”
- 7/9
- >She ignores you.
- >You put a foot between you and shove her off.
- >She quickly jumps back on you.
- “Stop! I don’t like you.”
- >Your words pierce her and she backs off.
- >”What’s so wrong with me, Anon? Nothing I do makes you happy.”
- ”You’re weird. No one just falls in love,” you snap a finger, “like that.”
- >”Anon, you know how I feel. Last night –“
- “There’s nothing to talk about. What happened before was an accident.”
- >”We talked for hours. That doesn’t sound like an accident to me.”
- ”That was fine. The kissing was the problem.”
- >She looks down at the floor.
- >”You could have stopped me at any time.”
- >She is right.
- >You knew she was going to kiss you and you didn’t stop her.
- >It’s not your fault that you have a thing about braces.
- >Neither of you had a choice when they were put on.
- >”I just finished brushing… I made sure to get every last spot.”
- >She opens up for you to see.
- >Sure enough her teeth look very clean.
- >”Look, we’ve only got a few minutes left, and we’re going to need a story to tell.”
- >You wave a hand at her to show that any story will be fine.
- >”How about we say that kissed a few times, and just leave it at that?”
- >When she’s not putting up a chipper act, or trying desperately to be sexy she looks like a decent girl.
- >She puts a hoof on your hand.
- >Her eyes glisten in the dim light.
- >It reminds you of last night.
- >She didn't pretend to be something she isnt.
- >In this small closet she again showed you that she can be an alright mare.
- >Not to mention she's the only mare that ever liked you.
- >Against your better judgement, you decide to kiss her.
- ”I’ll do you one better.”
- >You move forward and she meets up halfway.
- >Her breath is clean and minty.
- 8/9
- >It's much better than last night.
- >You lips meet.
- >It’s just a peck.
- >She stays close and her eyes beg for just one more.
- >Who are you to deny her?
- >Your arm moves by itself, and pulls Cadence toward you.
- >Her lips lock against yours, and you let it happen.
- >You pull-
- >”No! STOP!”
- >Your wires are stuck to each other.
- ”FUCK!”
- >The door flies open and every pony see you two stuck in an embrace.
- >”Time’s up,” Colgate says.
- >Her timing is the worst.
- >You can't help but feel embarresed.
- >Just get through this.
- ”Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to leave. We’re stuck.”
- >The room explodes in laughter and they close the door again.
- ”No! Get help!”
- >You bang on the door, but it remains closed.
- >”They wouldn’t just leave us here, would they?
- >Through the door you hear Colgate.
- >”Alright, so now we’re going to use the spare bedroom!”
- >Shit.
- ”I think they already did leave us.”
- >You knew this was a bad idea.
- >Cadence tries to get up, but you pull her back down.
- >You don’t want to lose any teeth.
- ”Alright, just use your magic to –“
- >”Like this?”
- >You feel your teeth being ripped out.
- ”STOP!”
- >The magic fades.
- ”Don’t you have scissors hanging around?”
- >”This is a coat closet.”
- >You bang against the door again.
- ”Shining! Open the door!”
- >”He’s busy.”
- >Who is that? Berry Punch?
- ”Berry, get some scissors!”
- >
- >It’s a short walk back home.
- >Shining has a wide grin on his face.
- >He spent seven minutes with Colgate.
- >Apparently she also likes Space Journey.
- >At least someone understands him.
- >When you arrive you firefighters spraying down the house.
- >Little Twilight is sitting down with a blanket over her.
- >Ms. Sparkle see’s you walking back.
- >”ANON! SHINING! How many times have I told you two not to leave Twilight home alone?”
- >You’re in for it now.
- >Fucking Twilight.
- fin
- 9/9
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