Jump 161: SCP Foundation

Jump #161: SCP Foundation
>Ace of Cups (The seed of a new relationship or spiritual journey - perhaps as yet unseen.)
>Location: Site-██
>Identity: SCP (-200)
This was only due to the IRC. But if I'm going to go SCP I may as well go all the way to Keter.
>Drawbacks: Die, Monster! (0), SCP-682 (+600)
>Alternative Nutritional Needs (Free, SCP, Safe)
>Perceptual Filter (1350, SCP, Safe)
>Anomalous Physiology (1050, SCP, Euclid)
>Agitation Field (750, SCP, Keter)
>The Full Wiki (700)
The main trick to reading this is making sure I DON'T accidentally read the parts that have memetic kill agents in them. Of course, there are certainly ways to process its contents so that is a non-issue. Not that I can let anyone know I have this, but it does mean I can use this to take a few ... souveniers.
>Bottle of SCP-500 (600)
I'll be using this sparingly, if at all, but I know there are going to be places where it will come in handy later and people that could definitely use it as a cure.
>SCP-2400 (0)
My very own hyperbolic time chamber! Sure, it's only 140x normal speed instead of 365x, but hey, can't have everything. No, wait, I have ways to accelerate time much further than that. Guess I CAN have everything. This, however, is DEFINITELY never going anywhere but the warehouse, no matter what.

Item #: SCP-████

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-████ must be destroyed as soon as possible. It is to be kept in a sealed chamber at all times, measuring 5m x 5m x 3m constructed of reinforced concrete and closed via a stone door which is to be barred, not locked whether electronically or mechanically. It is to be monitored via closed circuit video at all times (such equipment shall be replaced monthly or as needed). It is not to come within ██ meters of any other SCPs outside of testing and is to be referred to only as SCP-████ and no other name that it requests to be called, as per standard procedure.
Notes: O5-Command authorization must be given for any and all testing involving other SCPs.
If anyone suggests SCP-682 be used AGAIN in hopes that at least one of them will be terminated this time, I'll demote them to D-class. The last time we tried that, site ██ was completely lost and thanks to losing containment half our Class-B amnesiac stock was depleted during cleanup. - O5-██

Description: SCP-████ generally appears within the form of a nondescript human male six feet in height with varying attire and accessories, and upon initial inspection would seem to have a normal human's sleeping pattern and hunger. There appears to be little rhyme or reason to the attire, other than being selected seemingly randomly upon awakening for the day, and the attire ranges from extremely anachronistic to extremely advanced, some of which should not be physically possible (see addendem ████-C, example 'holographic scarf'). When exposed to extreme stimuli, it has been noted to change shape in response to the threat (see addendum ████-E for an extensive list), the most notable of which was in response to exposure to SCP-682 (see incident ████-B) and manifested as the form of a dragon exceeding ████ meters in length.

Deprivation of food has been found to have seemingly no ill effect, other than vocal complaints of hunger and mild threats that might be expected from a normal human. Sleep deprivation experiments have been largely unsuccessful and SCP-████ will sleep (or at least pretend to sleep) through any non-physical stimuli, meeting physical stimuli with the expected forceful resistance offered by a normal human.

SCP-████ generally presents as being cooperative toward researchers but has an effect which has been colloquially dubbed a "somebody's else's problem field"; unless being directly engaged, verbally or physically, it seems to be a harmless nondescript human doing, as one D-class called it, "normal people things". This is theorized to possibly be a secondary effect of a greater issue, which is that its existence has anomalous effects on the local laws of physics. (See experiment log ████-A.) In short, the more complex a device is, the shorter its mean time to failure - a simple mechanical key lock may last a few months, electronic cameras six to eight weeks, a ruggedized laptop computer two weeks, a cellular telephone, a matter of days. Further investigation shows conductive materials are transmuted into what is presently theorized to be strange (quark) matter. This effect seems to cease once removed from SCP-████'s area of effect, which has been difficult to pin down but appears to vary between ██ to ██ meters. It is theorized that this field of effect may have deleterious effects upon the containment cell, but such effects would take months to manifest and there is little risk of a containment breach without notice.

Destructive testing thus far (again, see experiment log ████-A) has shown a remarkable resistance to most conventional methods used to terminate it, and this escalated to the use of SCPs after explosives severed its limbs, which subsequently were reattached by it without apparent harm. Destructive testing with SCPs stopped after the anomalous effect was found to agitate sapient SCPs (escalating with the containment breach documented in incident ████-B). Further destructive testing postponed for the time being.

SCP-████ has been found to be extremely pleasant to engage in personal conversation, and while performing tasks under the direction of researchers with D-class personnel often speaks to the personnel about their personal lives while attempting to give insight. It has been observed to interact less positively with D-class who have particularly heinous histories, though in one case spoke with Dr. ████████ in regard to one D-class personnel to advise that the subject should be released and gave further relevant information as to their background. Followup investigation confirmed this data and class-A amnesiacs were applied to D-█████ and he was released from duty; this confirmed some sort of precognitive or clairvoyant ability on the part of SCP-████. Motives for disclosing such ability are unknown at this time.

>"It looks like a man, it talks like a man, but it's as close to a man as 682 is, and it's eroding the basic laws of physics by existing. It's a potential YK-class scenario and the clock is ticking. Ten years, according to SCP-████. If we can't find a way to eradicate it, you can kiss the Standard Model goodbye." - Dr. ████████