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Illaoi RUNS A STARBUCKS

Dec 6th, 2015
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  1. Illaoi opens a Starbucks. Duh.
  2. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  3.  
  4. "Illaoi, we've only had one customer this week. On Monday. Perhaps we should rethink our strategy?"
  5.  
  6. "Servant, we will stand by our beliefs. Those who wish to remain in motion must pass the test."
  7.  
  8. Janna sighed and returned to the counter. Servant? Hadn't Janna told Illaoi to not call her that? This coffee shop was going to be a flop unless some major changes were made.
  9.  
  10. Why was Janna working at a coffee shop, anyway?
  11.  
  12. Well, she had grown bored with solely participating in League matches and needed something else to occupy her time. Something a bit more mundane than fleeing from a maniacal light mage with 20 kills. And yes, something less taxing than exhausting her mana pool on defensive spells, only for Graves to dash in and get blown up anyway. As usual.
  13.  
  14. So she saw the ad in the local paper from the soon-to-be owner of a small coffee shop. They needed someone to handle the customer side of things. She was good at customer service, wasn't she? And the base pay was staggeringly high, almost more than the $2.95/min she made from her side jobs.
  15.  
  16. She should've known it was too good to be true.
  17.  
  18. The ad was from an anonymous source, later revealed to be everyone's favorite priestess. Illaoi. Janna was a bit wary of her at first, but Illaoi actually seemed to have everything together. Janna was given a brief tour of the shop's future location, took a glance at the employee handbook, and answered cursory interview questions fairly well. At least, she thought she did.
  19.  
  20. "Child, I've asked many questions of you to determine your worth. Do you have any questions for me?"
  21.  
  22. Janna brooded silently. She thought that she had the job in the bag, so could this really hurt...?
  23.  
  24. "Well...why are you of all people opening a coffee shop?"
  25.  
  26. Illaoi blinked.
  27.  
  28. Janna blinked.
  29.  
  30. The tentacle on the wall blinked. Metaphorically.
  31.  
  32. Janna considered fleeing the room.
  33.  
  34. Finally, Illaoi laughed and slapped Janna on the shoulder. This applied a stack of The Black Cleaver and did significant damage.
  35.  
  36. "Child, or should I say...servant? My god has taught that all people should stay in motion. Why not open a store to help people stay in motion? We shall sell only the best coffee, to those deemed worthy."
  37.  
  38. Janna let out a sigh of relief. This sigh contained some healing winds, bringing her health back to full.
  39.  
  40. "Speaking of deeming people worthy, I forgot one important part of the interview!"
  41.  
  42. Janna's breath hitched. Again.
  43.  
  44. "You have shown yourself worthy in every way but one. You must pass the test!"
  45.  
  46. Illaoi lifted her idol, and Janna could've sworn she saw a tentacle examining her. Watching her every move. Texting its friends about the lettuce stuck between her teeth. Oh hey, is it hurtling towards her right now?
  47.  
  48. Janna's soul was ripped out from her, and she barely regained her composure in time to dodge the blinking tentacle's first attack.
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