Thread 29: Stories 31-45

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Great, come with us, we're looking too."

[That would be acceptable.]

"Cool... you guys one of those that have the weird restrictions on sex?"

>CHRYSALIS!

'PFFTHAHAHAHAH!

[Yes. We're the ones that frown on the practice if you engage before marriage.]

"Meh, what about 'fiance' stuff?"

{So long as you are planning to get married and scheduled to do so, it's the same thing as being married so long as you don't willingly back out. Regardless, afterwards you're allowed to fuck each other so hard the walls shake and your doctor thinks you've been trying to smuggle baseball bats.}

"Pfft, weird! We just go right for it, because Changeling. Yeah, we Queens are more about getting in there and getting plowed in as many ways as possible."

[Sounds decadent, we would not approve.]

"Hey, we only do it to sap love. It's literally an act of love, not lust. Because lust only kinda works."

{...I suppose if you are doing it for love, you're keeping with the spirit.}

[Marriage is more about showing a loving connection, after all.]

{And you would have a provable method to gauge love.}

[...We might need to consult with the elders on how to approach it from a changeling perspective.]

{Agreed, we do not want Pinkie's second wife to fall into a loophole.}

"HAH! I like you guys! Come on, let's find Pinko."

[Gladly.]

{She seems nice, you are surprisingly good at seeing potential in marital partners.}

[I do like her spine.]

{The nicknames are acceptable.}

[Remember when we used to do that, bluerock?]

{I do, brownrock.}

"PLEASE tell me there's a sex story behind that."

[{Yes.}]

"And I'm all ears!"

>....N-n-noooooooo...

'Well, this is going to be fun.'

>NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"Brain"
[???]
{???}
-???-
~???~
=???=
+???+
(???)
'???'
#???#
~~~~~~

>Okay, cotton candy. Cotton candy is nice. Nice, sweet, tangy flavor, just like-

"Do you think Cadence tastes like cotton candy?"

>BRAIN FOR FUCKS SAKE! Sweet merciful Wall Breaker! Every single time with this!

"Just saying."

>I bet nobody else has to put up with this! Their brains are probably normal!

~~~~~

[Sweet merciful Celestia, is she really going to keep rambling? On and on with this. Not that she's not my friend but this is BORING!]

{Oh, um... yes, Pinkie, I think it's pretty cool you made the ride tilt five different ways in sequence. Looks like a starfish!}

[MAKE HER STOP!]

~~~~~~

-Ah'm tellin' ya'll, we need ta' get ourselves some rope and YEE HAWWW! Ride them cowgirls like their daddies ain't home!-

~DAMNABLE MIND! That would never work! We have not the skills with the twisting of knots nor the upper body strength to hold them down!... Also, that sounds rather rapish.~

-Well shucks, it was just a suggestion!-

~KEEP THINE SUGGESTIONS TO THINESELF, CONSCIOUSNESS SO FOUL!~

~~~~~

=BETRAAYYYYYALLLLL! Betrayal! BETRAYED ALL WE STOOD FOR! We took an oath, man! An oath that if we ever came across aliens and they wanted some, we would GIVE them some! With our wieners!=

+Damn it, who let fourteen year old me out of the box? Also, not an alien.+

=SHE IS A GREEN HAIRED EXOTIC CREATURE WHO CAN TURN INTO ANYTHING SHE WANTS AND HAS A BOOTY WE COULD BOUNCE A QUARTER OFF OF! CLOSE ENOUGH!=

+We're MARRIED.+

=BETRAYAL! All of our dreams, SHATTERED!=

+Ugh.+

=BETRAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!=

~~~~~~

(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!)

'I CONCUR, BRAIN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!'

#What was that?#

'A CONSENSUS OF MAAAAAAADDNNEEEESSAHAHAHAHAH!'

(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~!)

'SHE AGREES!'

#...Cool.#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>14 year old shiny
Huh...
non-canon
>SA
-14YOShiny-
"Chysalis"
'18'
[Celestia]
{Twilight}
~~~
{Are you all REALLY sure you wanna do this?}

"Hey, look, it's harmless, okay! We get our own Shining Armor who wants us"

'Shiny keeps his vows to Cadence!'

>Twily! Don't do it! Don't unleash the monster!

{Yeah... I mean... none of you knew what shiny was like when he was 14-"

[Just do it!]

{Alright, jeez!}

KER-ZAAAAAAAP!

>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MY INNER DARKNESS BROUGHT TO LIGHT!

And suddenly, spawned into the material world, separate from his older self!

-lololololololololol! Hey, babes u want sum fuk? We can ERP on Gaia PMs-

"['...']"

{See? This is why you should be careful what you should wish for!}

>My shame! My greatest shame!

'The worse part is, this makes normal Shiny even more attractive knowing he overcame all this.'

[Oh, yeah. Total backfire there.]

"Really? I was kind- Ohhh... There we go... Self-improving men are surprisingly hot"

>Then if you love me you'll kill me... or him.

{OH NO! HE'S ESCAPED!}

'it's worse than that! He armed himself... With a pair of HK MP5s and - ugh... A katana...'

>ARGH! His lameness hurts me! Twily, unchain me so I can murder my 14 year old newfag self!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"???"
~~~~

>HOW!?

"Wow, lady, you suck."

>THIS IS ABSURD!

"Just getting pounded all over the floor."

>This can't be!

"It absolutely can, and is."

>THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT!

"Yeah, it is kind of cheap. But also, you really suck at this."

>SHUT THE FUCK UP!...DAMN!

"Want to spend another bit?"

>NO! This 'fighting game' is unrealistic anyway!

"Want me to show you how it's done?"

>FUCK OFF! I DO NOT NEED THIS BULLSHIT I AM A WARRIOR!

*Stomps off*

"Well, that was annoying... Now, time for a little venting. You, my little pixelated friend, I am going to pretend are my paperwork, and that the final goal is not a boring cutscene, but instead Shiny time... you know, I just had the weirdest feeling like I missed something..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Suckerpunch
"41"
'Tour Guide'

"Guide dude! Explain!"

'Explain what?'

>These weird ass designs we're looking at!

'Oh those? Those are concepts for future robot designs, we here at Fawntaine Industries are dedicated towards the ideas that despite their rocky start, robots are the future of civilization on this planet. Let alone for just us ponies! So far you've only seen robots used for war-'

>No we haven't.

'...beg pardon?'

"I mean, Blueblood Bot was pretty heavily armed but 10's kept him from shooting anyone."

'...'

>What?

'Look, guys, my entire spiel here hinges on you two being a couple ignorant morons from the armpit of Equestria or some other backwater. Can you play along for five seconds?'

>Why should we?

'Because if you keep yakking, you'll never get to the free samples from the Robo-Brewer 9000.'

"Why would we care about-"

'Three words: Zap. Apple. Cider.'

>"..."

'Shall we continue?'

They slowly nod.

'Great. Now we here at Fawntaine have made breakthroughs in the art of automated shoe cobbling...'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Trixie
"Magician"
'???'
[Crowd]
~~~~

>BOOOO! TRIXIE COULD DO BETTER IN HER SLEEP! BOOOO! BOOOOOOOO!

"I haven't even started yet!"

>You are setting up the saw in half box! What is this, amateur hour!?

"No, it's kid hour! Kids love this stuff!"

>That's no reason to half ass it!

"Then fine, YOU do bet-HEY!"

>Thank you, Trixie will! A-hem... BEHOLD! THE WONDROUS MAGIC OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE! Feast thine eyes upon the splendor of that which is conjured from the farthest beyond! Magic brought forth from a land beyond what minds my think, or sight may see! Within these spells I weave for you, there is a mystery untold in the universe! BEHOLD!

"...Huh. Do you write all of that yourself?"

>YES TRIXIE DOES STOP YOUR CONSTANT QUESTIONING!

"I only did it once."

>BE SILENT!... Now, BEHOLD! The magical fire of Al-un-ra comes before thee!

[Ooooo! Ahhhhh!]

'Meh.'

All eyes suddenly turned to the one bored looking patron in the room.

>...What... did you... say?

'Meh.'

>SIMPLETON FROM THE CROWD I CHALLENGE YOU! COME FORTH!

'Oh!... okay! Hey everybody!'

>DO NOT WAVE! Instead, Trixie challenges you! Do any talent, no matter how grand, and Trixie shall do it better!

'Any talent?'

>ANY! TALENT! And she shall shame you!

'Oh... okay!'

[OOOO! IT'S ON!]

He walked over to his paltry bag, returning shortly with a water bottle... Which he then poured all over himself.

And then he lit a match.

FWOOOOSH!

[GASP!]
>...
"...holy shit."

'Your turn!'

>...The great and powerful Trixie gives a great and powerful fuck you, good sir.

She dropped the mic, and she left.

'Awww. I wanted to see what that looks like from someone else!... Oh well!'

As casual as could be, he walked back into the crowd and returned to his seat.

He was still on fire.

'Next show! Next show!'

"...they don't pay me enough for this shit."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"Cadence"
'??'
~~~~~

>I'm telling you, you're just going to end up throwing up again.

"I will not!"

>Why. Why this time?

"Because I've got to be out of stuff to throw up by this point!"

>You are eating popcorn!

"Just a little!"

'Do not bother arguing with her, just pap her on the nose with a rolled up budgeting report and get going.'

>OH THANK GOODNESS!... I mean, hello, 18! Good to see you again!

"Uh, where's my daughter?"

'That would be currently attached to Auntie Twilight.'

"Oh... that's nice!"

>Indeed. The little one could use a bit more variety in her life from her stable of normal acquaintances.

"What she said, but more princessy."

'And just what are you lovebirds doing out over here by the couples skate, am I going to have to go get Shiny and tell him the bad news?'

>AHAHAHAYOU'RESOFUNNYSHUTTHEFUCKUPIWILLHURTYOUNOTREALLYJUSTKIDDINGAHAHAHAHABUTIWILLHURTYOUYES!

'...'

"She's been like that all night."

'She's been like that all MONTH.'

>I AM RELAXING! IT WILL END! HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE! GETTING IT DOWN!

'Eeesh, at this rate you're going to have to toss Shiny into a room with her and tell him to let her 'blow off some steam', as it were.'

>SHUTUPSHUTUP!

'Worst part is? I was talking about training, and your nose is still on 'leaky faucet'. But fine, whatever, I'll toss you into a room with Cadence and SHE can-'

>SHUTTHEFUCKUPIWILLHURTYOOOOOU!

'...Huh. Uh-'

"Oh stooop, you know how she is! You shouldn't rile her up like that."

'Right... probably... shouldn't.'

"Oh! Come on! I need to prove I'm not going to throw up on at least ONE ride! Come come!"

'Right behind you...'

>...

'...Are you...'

>Am I what?

'...Shiny.'

>Riiight?

'Cadence.'

>...Am I supposed to react to this?

'Do you want to have sex with Shiny?'

>NO! I DO NOT! THAT IS YOUR JOB NOT MINE I AM WARRIOR WHO IS FRIEND!

'...Do you want to have sex with C-'

>18 I WILL BEAT YOU! RIDE! FUN! NOW!

'...Uh oh.'

>UH OH NOTHING GET ON THE FUCKING RIDE!

'Right... right...'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Mane-iac
"Poindexter"
~~~~

>AHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

"Wow, you really do enjoy every ride."

>AHHHAHAHAHAHAH-... not really, I can swing faster than this. I just can't help it. I laugh at a lot of stuff.

"Oh. Sorry?"

>Sorry for what? I love to laugh!

"You are a surprisingly complex individual."

>Oh no!

"Good thing."

>Oh... AHHAHAHAHAHAH! INDEED!

"So... how do you like living in the crystal empire?"

>Gemtopia is a MAGNIIIIFICENT and WONDERFUL place to behold!

"I think Gemtopia is real, actually."

>And my DEEEEEEAREST ally in the fight against all that is good, EMPRESS LOVESAPPA... is really fun to hang out with! She's the only one who doesn't seem to mind my ticks.

"I don't mind."

>Oh... THANK YOU AHAHAHAH!

"No problem. Wow, most girls, like, get bothered when I talk to them for too long."

>It is the smell of plastic.

"Oh. I work with OnO figures a lot. Does it bother you?"

>NEIGH! It reminds me of my once HOOOOMEAHAHAH!

"Cool!... Wow, I see this working out."

>I don't, this ride is going to be boring.

"What about the sharks."

>DON'T JUMP THEM! IT MEANS CERTAIN DOOM!

"Why?"

>...I have no idea...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"Ghost kid"
'???'
~~~~

>I'm starting to think I should have just stayed home.

"Don' be like that ol' chap! Stiff upper lip! HAH! Blimey, that's funny, on account of the hypothermia that froze me bones, it did!"

>You don't have to make it worse.

"Crikey ol' bean, just tryin' to give a bit o' the cheer I am!"

>And I appreciate the effort, but tis but a drop in the large spittoon of sick that pours upon mine head every day.

"HAHA! You're a bit of a wanker you are, talkin' funny like yer' mum was touched in the head. Like me own old lady was when she tossed me at the cats speakin' the old tongues, eh?"

>Every word like a blade, child. Did you have anything you wanted me to do while I was here to find a bit of peace?

"Ahhh, this is your day off ol' boy! Don't be workin' yourself on my account on the down time, you hear?"

>Child, speak.

"Tellin' you ol' chap, don't need a thing for meself I don't!"

>...

"...But I suppose iffin' ya' weren't on a bit o' the RnR, I would want ta' see ya' punch that mascot."

>...That mascot.

"That one right there, specifically!"

>...Fine, I was starting not to like this place anyway.

"WHOA! Hold up you bloody knob! I didn't mean it! I was just-"

*POW!*

'OW FUCK! What the fuck, man!?'

"You stupid blighter! Now yer' gonna get yerself kicked out!"

>Yeah, but when else was I going to get a chance to fulfill your last wish?

'WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO!?'

"...You'd really give up your chance at one chance o' fun for me?"

>I just punched a pony dressed like a hybrid clown and mime. What other act so insane would it take to prove it so?

"...That... that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me..."

>I was hoping for a flash.

"...Oh, I see, you want me gone?"

>I WANT you to go to the splendor of joy and happiness instead of dwelling upon this earth in bitterness and despair.

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO YOU CRAZY ASSHOLE!?'

"...You just did it so I could be happy?"

>Looks like it.

"I... I just... t-thanks, mate, yer' a right class act, you are! And I want you ta' know, from the bottom of me heart, I-"

*FLASH!*

'MY EYES!... WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?'

>Do you mind with the language? I have a great many other small ones around me.

'...Oh, shoot, are you 29?'

>...Yeeeessss?

'Oh, okay. Boss has orders about this one. That for one of your, uh, flashy things?'

>Dead soul, yes.

'Well, boss said to let it happen. Just warn me next time!'

>I... apologize, he wished it to be a surprise?

'Ahhh, freakin' ghost kids. Enjoy your stay at Partyland!'

>I'll... I'll do that... huh... maybe today... maybe it's not so ba-

*SPLAT!*

>OW!

'She said I'm allowed to do that if you hit too hard.'

>...Sigh.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"SS"
'DT'
~~~~
>Well dancing was fun, but I think it's time to find Tiara and Silver.
Takes out a map. He looks and walks at the same time.

>Let's see...I'm at the Pinkie clubhouse, so if I straight and take a right turn over here, I should be able to-
*CONK* Spike walks into a mirror.

>...the House of Mirrors? What the heck? How did I wander in here?
He walks into another mirror.

>Uh oh....hellooo?
Bumps into another mirror.

>...how do I get out?

~Elsewhere~
"We still haven't found Spike anywhere and we missed lunch. Should we be little worried?"

'How hard is it to find a purple dragon? He so owes us dinner after this.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>High Roller
"Triage"

>Are we almost done here?

"Almost, making sure I'm taking a healthy amount. I mean, it's going to be bad if they come back and find him dead, right?

>Right.

"What...uh...what exactly did you give him?"

>It's a special little thing the boys back at Fawntaine whipped up. He'll be out for a few hours and when he wakes up there will be a few moments where is memory is...malleable.


So you're going to 'correct' anything he may 'misremember'.

>Exactly.

"...he looks so peaceful."

>Just focus on the job, Ms. Triage.

"Sorry, yes...you said you had a grandma?"

>I did. Why?

"You didn't seem to mention her when you were talking to that Suckerpunch guy. Seems like that would have helped your case."

>Well the thing is, she, my mother, and my father, as I spoke of them, doesn't exist.

"So you lied."

>I tend to do that a lot. You should get in the habit, really, this IS going to be your job soon enough.

"Yeah...yeah, I get that. So, how long have you worked for Fawntaine?"

>Heh, a long time, really. Helped him corner the relic trade back in Vanhoover and I've been on the payroll ever since. Why do you ask?

"I'm hunched over the body of a changeling in the dungeon of Canterlot castle, taking his blood for...whatever it is you're going to use it for. I figure a little conversation would be appreciated."

>Point. What about you?

"Not too long, after the attack on Canterlot, a lot of the old nurses decided to move somewhere else and I thought I could make more cash this way. I got contacted directly after I got the job and, well, I needed the money."

>You wanted the money, don't mince words.

"Needed. Pathologically."

>I don't think that's a thing.

"Anyway, I've been feeding them info ever since I got here. It's how you guys knew his sorry carapace was down here."

>Tell me...what's your thoughts on changelings?

"I think when that Queen of there's makes her move, you guys are gonna make a killing on bug spray."

>Aw, not one for the cause of peace?

"I'm one for my purse and nothing else. Maybe you should clean up this glass while we're down here."

>No no, it doesn't matter if my false plot is discovered, in fact it helps matters greatly. If you're guilty of one crime, people tend to leave it there. They'll believe you were there to rob the house, not murder the mayor, as it were.

"Ahh, gotcha. I think...thaaaat's...it!"

Triage retrives the last syringe and places them back in her bags.

"So, what now?"

>Now? Now you listen to me.

Roller fixes Triage with his neutral stare.

>You are going to go into town, claiming that you spent some time with your coltfriend but you've got an appointment in town. If Suckerpunch has anyone on the guard watching you, that will put them on the scent. You will go downtown to the Palomino Bros. Pizza franchise and you will find a stallion with a dark purple coat, an orange mane, and a tan jacket. He is you cousin, in town from Bronco Bluffs, sit down with him like you had always intended and make small talk. 'Oh is cousin Clover behaving himself? Oh Auntie Straw Poll is getting into politics?' Stuff like that. Eat the pizza, slowly. When it's three-fourths of the way finished, you will volunteer to pay. Your cousin, chivalrous as he is, will try to stop you, leading to your purse dropping on the floor, spilling the contents. Oh but you were always the family butterhooves. As you and your cousin are cleaning it up, you will NOT notice him pocket the case you just put the syringes in. You will make half-hearted promises to meet again soon, and depart to enjoy your day in peace. Any questions.

"...no...no I think all I got it. Do I have a choice about the pizza?"

>Of course. Just remember, Ms. Pennydrop demands nothing less than perfection.

"Right...yeah. I'll get on that. Be safe, sir."

>Please, call me Roller.

"Oh..."

>It maintains the cover.

"Yes, of course."

Triage walks away.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"Pinkie"
'Dash'
[Fluttershy]
{2}
~~~~

>Oh hey, gift shop! I'm going to buy all of the... PINKIE WHAT THE FU-...uuuuddly duddly!?

"What?"

'Is that... HOLY CRAP!'

[I don't get it.]

>You have CHITANIA ACTION FIGURES!?

"They sell really well! Like, really well! They bring in more money than the rest of the gift shop combined!"

'That's in pretty bad taste, Pink.'

"I'm running a business here!"

[That's what she looks like?]

'Oh, right, you haven't met her yet. Yep. That's what she looks like. I can attest to this, seeing as I got up real close and personal.'

>Pinkie this is SO OFFENSIVE!

"Then why does everyone keep buying it!?"

{AUNTIE TWILIGHT! AUNTIE TWILIGHT!}

>Not now, sweetie!

{But I want this one!}

>TWO, WHAT!? She abducted you and nearly killed you!

{Nuh-uh, this is Crushtania! She's different!}

>She's a slightly off blue version of the same model!

{Well, they're all out of Titania!}

>Titania is just a red one!

{So... I should get both?}

>This is what you are doing to my niece!

"Well, I'm sorry, but if my customers want to buy Chitania toys by the boatload, I'm gonna sell them! Just because it's a... hey, where did my floor model go!?"

'Huh?'

"The one right next to Fluttershy! Did you notice anything?"

[...Nope. Nothing, sorry.]

"Dang it, that's the third time that happened! Going to have to add a security measure."

{...So can I get this?}

"Anything for you cutie pie!"

'Shining Armor is going to punch you.'

"He will noooooot... right?"

>'[...]'

"...R-right?"

Behind them, they did not notice as the tiny, formerly stone still piece of plastic walked out the door as if it was alive. Dodging under legs and stomping in rage. It's eyes lit up as it looked out into the crowd, and the voicebox nestled within it's chest blinked to life.

~CRUSH THEM ALL!~

Elsewhere, away from the land of parties and fun, Discord sighed.

This was going to end well...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Gwen
"Idris"
~~~~

>*TWITCH*

"*TWITCH*"

>*TWITCH*

"*TWITCH*"

>....*TWITCHTWITCHTWITCHTWITCHTWITCH*

"Every fucking carnival."

>I'll burn it to the ground.

"Every. Fucking. Carnival."

>WHO IS BUYING THIS GARBAGE!?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"Reggie"
'Q'
-Thorax-

>-and with every one off to Partyland I decided it'd just be nice to sit here. Sit and commune with the people I feel I've neglected these past few days. My truest friends and companions: You guys.

"..."

'...'

-*chitter?*-

>Yes even you Thorax.

32 sighs as he sits in his prison cell. He shakes his head even as a million question buzz in the back of his brain.

>I feel like I'm forgetting something.

"You think?"

>...who said that?

"Me? Hello? Down here? Or you could just look up, my name shows up if you scroll over it. Really nifty."

32's head jerks to the side, gazing blankly at the small cockroach that gazes blankly back at him.

>Reggie...did you just talk?

To 32's shock, the roach nods and speaks again, its tone low and gruff with a sharp edge to it.

"Well yeah, whaddaya think I've been doing with ya the past few weeks? Singing the world's longest duet? Boss, ya look a tad...pale. I ain't a doctor but I figure that's not good for someone with an exoskeleton."

>I'm being talked to by a tiny cockroach.

"Oh that's your problem? Hang on, I can fix that."

32 watches as the roach crawls into the space between the bed and the wall and...comes out the bottom.

"There..."

32's jaw drops as before him now stands a cockroach the size of a pony, atop its head a stovepipe hat, the top half-ripped off like a partially open can, its antenna waving this way and that.

"Now you're talking to a properly sized cockroach!"

>This can't be real!

'You're telling me.'

32 blinks and jerks his head to the side to see what can only be described as a crystal pony gone wrong. A bright violet formation of crystals in the shape of a pony, small spires of minerals jutting of its body. Also it's wearing a sun hat.

>...Q?

'Uh, yeah? Wow, you are really behind the curb today, big guy.'

>...Thorax can't do this either, can he?

"'No.'"

>Good.

-*chitter*-

>Oh shut up. It's bad enough I have to sit in here all day, I'd hate to actually understand you.

"Always gotta pick on Thorax, man, why ya gotta be that way. He has a lot of things he can contribute if you'd let him."

>Oh like what?

'The trapdoor that leads to a large slide which lets out a good mile away from the castle, for.'

>...You wanna run that one by me again?

"You didn't know about that?"

'Yeah I mean, the lever's right there.'

32 stares blankly at the wall, there is indeed a lever there, complete with a Monopony 'Get out of Jail Free' card hanging on a chain from the end. Thorax skitters on top of it, hopping on the end.

>This was here the whole time!?

"You would have noticed if you'd just let Thorax get a word in edgewise."

'Now the question is...do we pull it?'

>...I will hear arguments for and against.

"Ahem! Fuuuuuh-reedom!"

'Getting caught.'

"Everyone's at Partyland!"

'Someone taking the blame for us.'

"Boss, look around! This is a dream! We're physically taking to you! Who's gonna care if we went out on a night on the town?"

'This is a fever dream. You were poisoned.'

>Poisoned-?

"Aw spoilsport! Just pull the lever, boss! Consequences be damned!"

32 The Prisoner grimaces. He bites his lip. He thinks of consequences. He thinks about lack of consequences. He thinks of people he's killed and people he's let die.

And he pulls the lever.

And the world drops out from under him.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Blueblood
"???"
'???'
~~~~

He doesn't know how he managed to swing this, really. How he had managed to get them to come up to this one room, if only for an hour.

But it seemed Spike had kept his word.

>It's good to see the two of you again.

"I wish I could say the same, don't you agree oh brother of mine?"

'Brother I agree as you will plainly see! This distaste on my face is as plain as a blow from a mace! Because he's Flim-'

"He's Flam-"

"'And the Flim Flam brothers are in prison to stay because of you!"'

>... I suppose I deserve that.

"You do!"

'No denying!'

"Guilt we're supplying!'

"'And the Flim Flam brothers always have that in stock!"'

>How have you been holding up?

"Poorly."

'Thankfully those jokes about dropping soap were unsubstantiated.'

"But all the same we're stuck in prison."

'Forever!'

"If mother were alive, she would shake her head in shame!"

'In shame my brother!'

>I... I've actually been trying to figure us a way out.

Conspiratorially, their eyes darted left and right, and their voices dropped to a hushed whisper.

"You don't say, our once employer? A chance to escape this place in a hurried race?"

'Another chance in the sun?'

"Another chance for the day to be won?"

'Perhaps we'll join you, if you can make the deal sweet.'

"My good fellow we'd have another army in a heartbeat!"

>...Would you two really try it again?

"'Yes.'"

>Why? Be honest with me.

The just stared at him, incredulous.

"...We don't want to die in prison, asshole."

'Every day we wake up and just wonder 'wow, maybe we should have just died when that asshole shot us.'.'

"It would be preferable to our twelve by twelve and terrible meals."

'But we didn't get that, so we're stuck with a bunk bed, some reading material and nothing but time.'

"At this point, we'd give a lot just for a chance to possibly... I don't even know, just a chance out there again? Run free, enjoy some sunshine, taste something that didn't come out of an industrial sized tub? Maybe even just..."

'...Just a chance to say we're sorry? Something. Anything besides another night in a cold cell with nothing to look forward to but the same walls the next day.'

"Anything but sit in a cell and rot."

'But they won't let us.'

"So if you've got a plan to break out, we're in."

'Nothing left to lose but another fifty years of cold walls and bad food.'

>Well... I will level with you, it is not a plan to 'break out'.

"...Ah."

'We're... a bit cowardly for 'that' way out, if you catch the drift.'

"I wouldn't let him."

'I wouldn't let him.'

''We're brothers who stick together till the end.'"

"Even if that end takes an eternity to get here."

>Oh no no! Nothing like that!... Though I'll admit I thought about it sometimes. No no, it's well... it's a bit more complicated than that.

"...Go on..."

>Well, breaking out directly is out of the question. Even if, say, someone like Discord did offer to let us loose for a giggle or to accomplish some task for him... what would that mean for us? A lifetime of hiding and running, at the behest of whomever chose to let us loose, trading in a stone wall for a short leash.

'Stone wall is a bit inaccurate for you, isn't it?'

>My point is, it's not going to work. We'd be caught, or we'd be under the hoof of someone else... but there is one other alternative.

The pair couldn't help but feel their hearts quicken just a touch as they leaned forward.

"And that is?"

For the first time since the invasion, they saw him smile.

>Let me tell you a little something about my dear Auntie Celestia...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________