dirtymuffin00

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May 30th, 2019
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  1. >That'll be nine bits
  2. >The bubble gum colored mare says to you
  3. >You fish through your bag and look for a few golden coins
  4. >You dump the contents of the bag and count only seven bits
  5. >It's what two days of working the corner has gotten you
  6. >Thank Christ that your plumbing doesn't work, otherwise you would be fucked
  7. >Fuck this horseland and their unionized prostitution
  8. "Please miss, I haven't eaten all day"
  9. >"And I guess you won't. Now get lost, I have paying customers to attend to"
  10. >Another pony butts in line in front of you and drops only three bits for the lettuce that you were trying to buy
  11. >The fat ass horse secures an entire stalk of lettuce
  12. >You're used to this shit by now
  13. >These fucking horses get things for next to nothing, while you get overcharged at any chance
  14. >You aren't the only one however
  15. >It's been about two months since "The flip" happened
  16. >It was something that you and your ilk did not expect
  17. >A few random individuals, the princess of friendship figured about 1 in 250,000 suddenly found yourselved in this strange land in strange bodies
  18. >Every single one of your lifetime achievements suddenly did not matter one bit as your hummanity was taken
  19. >Some of you, like yourself, realized tthat you were not even the same sex as you were when you flipped
  20. >It was all so sudden and the royalty had no way to prepare for it
  21. >So you, along with anyone misfortunate enough to be in your situation ended up being treated like third class citizens
  22. >Worse than niggers, hell, you weren't even niggers. You'd be lucky if you were treated like injuns
  23. >This pony was certainly going to gyp you so you told them to fuck off
  24. >You headed back home, to your monkey shack, as the locals call it
  25. >The cheap shanty huts that the government built for the "trannies", as you were soon called, on such a short notice
  26. >That was until you recognized a familiar plant by the riverbed
  27. >It had several leaves on a stem, all spread out, with several red berries darting out
  28.  
  29. >You plucked a few stems off of this plant before heading back to this shack
  30. >You stuck these stems into the empty, lint filled sack that failed to find you food earlier and headed home
  31. >You shack, as you would call it was equivelent to several 2x4s and some sheet metal sidings
  32. >You figure that this makeshift shelter took the royal guard only about half an hour to build
  33. >Opening your door, yopu threw your sack on your tiny cot
  34. >Now was not the time, but you were going to enact your revenge on these worthless cunts
  35. >You decide to take the herb to a zebra you came to befriend, she didn't seem fond of you, but knowing these judgemental pricks, she dinot come to mind
  36. >You knew that she would be down to help you make just about any tonic or remedy that your alien brain can come up with
  37. >So you take the plants to her in hopes that she can properly refine them
  38. >Zecora is kind and only keeps the cost of production in mind as she charges you for her services
  39. >Pretty soon, you have several grams of a white, cristaline substance, and you are headed off to Sugar Cube Corner
  40. >Recent laws made it difficult on ponies to get a large amount of salt
  41. >You thought of it as a strange thing in your current form, you found salt to be almost irresistible
  42. >Nearly to the point that you were willing to sell your body for just a few tablespoons of rock salt
  43. >Celestia only knows what you would be willing to do for salt pellets
  44. >however, you were going to make something quite a bit stronger than salt
  45. >Something that was in fact, so powerful that these ponies would regret ever crossing paths with your kind
  46. >You hurried your ass over to the bakery to buy as much baking soda as your ass could get a hold of
  47. >Luckily for you, that was quite a bit
  48. >The local baker's union forced the tiny shop to overcharge you for flour, yet it could not do anything for baking soda
  49. >You bought half a pound of the stuff for two bits and stuff the powders into your bag
  50. >The last place left was Rich's Backyard Bargains
  51. >You were going to get a frying pan and a small stand for it
  52. >With the last necessary components, you race home
  53.  
  54. --------
  55. >Your "home" basically amounts to an overcrowded shanty
  56. >It is a space that you share with 5 other ponies
  57.  
  58. >You open the door to your shanty home and grab a burner that you stole from a client who was a chemist
  59. >Quickly, you stuff it into your cheap bag
  60. >Your shackmates are too busy speaking russian
  61. >Goddam Slavs
  62. >You lie in your bed and think of your next move
  63. >How dare these worthless farm animals disrespect something as civilized as humanity?
  64. >Stupid fucking horses were going to learn their place
  65. >You wait until the sun begins to set in order to sneak out and find a place to hide in the woods
  66. >There was a strict curfew in place, but nop0ny would suspect a thing if you left
  67. >Afterall, suicides were common in the communities
  68. >It was something that was sort of just glossed over
  69. >Your hoof crushed a twig as you were exiting your shanty
  70. >This catches the attention of a patrolling guard
  71. >Luckily, you use this world's cartoon logic to your advantage and you are able to evade the guard by inexplicably disappearing as he came by your location
  72. >You conviniently find yourself on the outskirts of the encampment and begin to head into the woods in search of a quite place to work
  73. >The place that you land on is an abandoned cavern that used to serve home to a bugbear
  74. >As if it were almost instict, you begin to setup shop and within minutes you are ready to begin
  75. >So far, you have and combine the baking soda with the refined powder that you got from the zebra, along with a few crushed up aspirins that you had in your possessions
  76. >You add a few drops of water and quickly after heating, an oily layer forms
  77. >After a while, the mix becomes like mud
  78. >It is now a chalky paste that you continue to heat to the point that it becomes a solid chunk
  79. >Perfect
  80. >You know that most of these abusive sacks of shit would know better than to trust a trannie, so you go ahead and give the rocks to your connections who practice sex work
  81. >You offer them 1/4 commission in exchange for getting the word out
  82. >You know that Equestrians are always looking for salt replacements following the recent bans, and that this stuff will blow salt right out of the fucking water
  83. >Three days later and you realize that your plan worked
  84. >That twelve bit investment netted you about 189 bits
  85. >Two more weeks of this shit and you would have more than enough to buy out that cunt who turned you down earlier
  86. >That's not good enough for you though, you were going to make these haymunchers pay for their goddam insolence
  87. >However, phase 1 of your plane was complete. You introduced a new product to this land
  88. >A week and a half later, you purchased a plot of land from a prominent family
  89. >It was on what was considered a sacred plot of land, guaranteed to grow whatever was planted on it
  90. >The family that owned it had gained influence over the town after their family was one of the first to populate the area
  91. >It only expanded after one of the members was discovered to have a power that can defeat a god
  92. >You've heard many stories of this mare
  93. >You knew that she would ask you about your motives for buying land and you knew that her gaze would pierce right through you in search of the truth
  94. >That Wonder Woman and her bitch ass lasso don't have shit on this pony
  95. >Your only hope was to offer her a deal that was so grand that she would not be able to turn it down
  96. >You quickly found that everyone had a price
  97. >That was the one true constant that you found here
  98. >You would purchase the land at triple its worth and the mare in charge would not question your motives
  99. >In practically no time you were set up with a small farm, a cottage, and a plant to make your stuff in
  100. >You were able to pay the zebra enough to show you how to make the stuff yourself
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