R11:CO2 01.txt

//EDITING NOTE: Any changes to this section must be synchronized with CO2_09A.txt (bad end), SA2_05.txt, and SA2_08.txt (message contents).

気がつくと――%K%P
When I came to my senses――

私は暗黒に包まれていた。%K%P
I was engulfed in darkness.

何も見えない。何も聞こえない。何も匂わない。何も感じない。%K%P
I couldn't see anything. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't smell anything. I couldn't feel anything.

『え？　これは……？』%K%P
"Eh? What...?"

声さえ、出すことができない。%K%P
I couldn't make a sound. Even my voice was gone.

闇の中に、さらに黒を溶かし込んだような、そんな完全な暗黒の中に私はいた。%K%P
I found myself in a darkness so total, it was as if an even further blackness had been enfolded into the dark of night.

上下の感覚がない。%K%P
I had no sense of up or down.

上を向いているのか、下を向いているのか、寝ているのか、起きているのか、それすらもわからない。%K%P
I didn't know whether I was facing upward, downward, or even if I was awake or asleep.

何も私に触れていない。%K%P
Nothing was touching me.

無重力の中を漂っているような感じだった。%K%P
It was as if I was floating in zero gravity.

服をまとっている感触がない。%K%P
I couldn't feel the clothes I was wearing.

手足を動かすことができない。%K%P
I couldn't move my limbs.

どこに手足があるのかも、わからない。%K%P
I didn't even know where my arms and legs were.

暑くもない。寒くもない。%K%P
It wasn't hot, nor was it cold.

そもそも空気を感じない。%K%P
I couldn't feel air around me at all.

私は……%K%P
I...

呼吸をしていない。%K%P
I wasn't breathing.

心臓の、鼓動が、感じられない。%K%P
I couldn't... feel... my heart beating.

………………。%K%P
..........

………………。%K%P
..........

………………。%K%P
..........

…　…　え　？%K%P
... ...Huh?

どういうこと？%K%P
What is this?

どういうこと？　どういうこと？　どういうこと？　どういうこと？　どういうこと？　どういうこと？%K%P
What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this?

これは……いったい？%K%P
What in the world... is going on?

私の身体は、どうなってしまったの？%K%P
What has happened to my body?

今、私は、どういう状態なの？%K%P
What... has happened... to me?

何が、起こったの？%K%P
What... happened?

誰か……いないの？%K%P
Is there... anyone here?

誰か…………誰か……誰か……誰か………………。%K%P
Anyone...... anyone... anyone... anyone..........

お願い……誰か……答えて。%K%P
Please... someone... answer me.

答えて……。%K%P
Answer me....

教えて……。%K%P
Tell me....

答えて………………。%K%P
Answer me..........

目の前の闇がすぅっと消え去っていくようにして、私の視界は光に包まれていった。%K%P
The darkness in front of me suddenly vanished, and my field of vision was enveloped in light.

浮遊感……。%K%P
A floating feeling....

不思議な感覚だった。%K%P
What an incredible sensation.

何も感じないはずなのに、身体が浮き上がっているような気がしている。%K%P
Even though I shouldn't be able to feel anything, I can sense my body floating.

ふわふわ……ふわふわ……。%K%P
Floating... floating....

なんだか……とても気持ちいい。%K%P
It feels... so pleasant.

とても気分が安らいでいく。%K%P
Such a safe, relaxing sensation.

こんな感覚、初めてだ。%K%P
It's the first time I've felt this way.

もういいや……。%K%P
Whatever....

なんでもいい。%K%P
It doesn't matter anymore.

このまま、何もかも、なるがままに任せよう。%K%P
Let's just leave everything as it is now.

その時――%K%P
And just then――

私は一瞬だけ垣間見た。%K%P
I caught a glimpse of it for only a moment.

私を……%K%P
I was...

いや……%K%P
No...

正確には、たぶん『私』が入っていた身体を……%K%P
To be more exact, the body that "I" entered...

悟の、身体を……。%K%P
Satoru's body....

悟の身体は、うつぶせの姿勢のまま、湯の張られたバスタブの中に上半身を沈めていた。%K%P
Satoru's body was floating, face down in the bathtub, his upper half submerged in water.

悟の身体はピクリとも動かなかった。%K%P
His body wasn't moving at all.

悟は……%K%P
Satoru is...

死んで、いるのだ。%K%P
Satoru is dead.

そして……私もまた……。%K%P
And... so am I....

そうか……。%K%P
I see....

私は全てを理解した。%K%P
I understood it all now.

あの時……暗闇に包まれたバスルームで感じた背後の気配。%K%P
Back then... I had felt there was someone behind me in that bathroom wrapped in darkness.

あの後、悟は誰かに殺されてしまったのだ。%K%P
Someone must have killed Satoru after that.

殺されて…………。%K%P
Killed.......

ごめんなさい……。%K%P
I'm sorry....

ごめんなさい、悟。%K%P
I'm sorry, Satoru.

私が不注意だったばかりに……こんなことになってしまって……。%K%P
This... this all happened because I wasn't careful....

ごめんね。%K%P
I'm sorry.

本当に、ごめんね。%K%P
I'm so sorry.

あとで……あとで必ず謝るから。%K%P
I... I have to apologize to you later.

これから、謝りにいくから。%K%P
I'm coming to apologize to you now.

だから……許してね……。%K%P
So please... forgive me....

涙を流さず、嗚咽もあげず、私は泣いた。%K%P
Without shedding a tear, or letting out a single sob, I cried.

泣いて、泣いて、泣いて…………。%K%P
And cried, and cried, and cried.......

やがて……%K%P
And before long...

私の世界は、失われた。%K%P
my world faded away.

%N%N%N%N
%CF66A%FS%LCThis⑳story⑳has⑳not⑳finished⑳yet.%FE%N
%C88FC%FS%LCThis⑳story⑳has⑳not⑳finished⑳yet.%FE%N
%FS%LCThis⑳story⑳has⑳not⑳finished⑳yet.%FE%N
%FS%LCTruth⑳is⑳not⑳revealed.%FE%N
%FS%LCAnd⑳it⑳circulates⑳through⑳an⑳incident.%FE%N
%FS%LC――⑳It⑳is⑳an⑳infinity⑳loop!%FE
%O

ロック解除――アルバム（全キャラクター表情集）
Unlocked――Album (All Character's Facial Expressions)

深い深い穴の、奥の奥の奥……………………。%K%P
And the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the deep, deep cave.............

暗い暗い闇の、向こうの向こうの向こう……。%K%P
On the other side of the other side of the other side of the grim, grim darkness...

深淵の、彼方の彼方の彼方……………………。%K%P
Beyond, beyond, beyond the deep abyss.............

どこまでもどこまでも……落ちていくような。%K%P
It felt as if I was falling... anywhere and everywhere.

そんな喪失感。%K%P
That sense of loss.

いや……違う。%K%P
No... that's not right.

失ったのではなく、初めからなかったのだ。%K%P
Nothing had been lost; there was nothing to begin with.

何もない。%K%P
Not a thing.

ここには何もない。%K%P
There wasn't a single thing here.

無。%K%P
Emptiness.

虚無。%K%P
Pure emptiness.

虚ろなまでに、何もない。%K%P
There was nothing else other than this pure emptiness.

でも、本当に何もないのだとしたら……%K%P
But, if indeed there was nothing here whatsoever...

無を感じるワタシは、なんなのだろう？%K%P
Then what about me, the person experiencing this emptiness?

ワタシという存在は、何者なのだろう？%K%P
Who is this existence known as "I"?

無とは……０のことだ。%K%P
This emptiness... is like 0.

０は存在するだろうか？%K%P
Does 0 really exist?

存在するとしたら、０とは何？%K%P
If it really exists, then what is this 0?

存在しないとしたら、１とはどこからが１？%K%P
If it doesn't exist, then when does 1 actually become 1?

そんな、０と１の狭間から……%K%P
And like that, from that interval between a 0 and 1...

――ワタシは無理矢理に引きずり出された。%K%P
――I was forcibly ripped out.

こころ「　　　　　　痛っっ！！」%K%P
         Owwww!!

こころ「　　　　ん　　……　　」%K%P
      Unn   ...

こころ「　　あ　　れ　　？　　」%K%P
  W  h  a  t  ?

気がついた時、私は机に向かって突っ伏していた。%K%P
When I came to my senses, my head was lying on a desk.

それからペンを握っていた。%K%P
I was holding a pen.

右手に。%K%P
In my right hand.

知らず知らずのうちに眠ってしまっていたようだ。%K%P
As if I had fallen asleep without realizing it.

夢も見ないほど深い深い睡眠だった。%K%P
A deep, deep, dreamless sleep.

いや、見たかも知れない。%K%P
No, maybe I did have a dream.

頭の中がモヤモヤとしていた。%K%P
My head was all muddled and confused.

なんだか不可解なイメージのようなものが、ぐるぐるぐるぐると渦巻いていた。%K%P
It was as if some puzzling, incomprehensible image was spinning over and over in my mind like a vortex.

それは寝起きの気だるさとは違う、別の種類のモヤモヤだった。%K%P
It was not the same as that feeling you get when you just wake up. It was a different feeling of confusion.

むしろ、起きたばかりにしては、頭の中が妙に澄み渡っていた。%K%P
In fact, if I had just woken up, it would be surprising if my mind were clear.
//old: In fact, if I had just woken up, my mind wouldn't be surprisingly clear.

あるのは軽い疲労感のようなものだけで……。%K%P
All I would feel is some slight tiredness....

こころ「う～～～ん」%K%P
Uh～～～n.

考えても、よくわからなかった。%K%P
I wouldn't understand it too well even if I thought about it.

とにかく寝ていて、それで額をぶつけて目が覚めた、と。%K%P
Anyway, I fell asleep, and then woke up when I knocked my head on the desk.

……ん？？？%K%P
...hm???

なんか、それって、オカシクナイ？%K%P
Isn't that... a little strange?

私は、ベッドで寝ていたのだ。%K%P
I was sleeping in the bed.

机に向かった覚えなんてない。%K%P
I don't remember moving toward the desk at all.

っていうか、小屋に机はない。%K%P
Now that I think about it, there is no desk in the cabin.

っていうか、ここ、どこ？？？%K%P
Then what is this place???

私は混乱し始めた頭を静めようと、周囲を見渡し、思索した。%K%P
As I started to panic, I calmed myself down and scanned my surroundings, pondering.

部屋にあるのはベッドと机とクローゼット。%K%P
There was a bed, a desk, and a closet in the room.

それらは、とてもコザッパリとしていて、清潔で、快適な印象を与える。%K%P
They were all very tidy and organized, giving off a clean, cozy feeling.

しかしだからこそ、どこか空々しく虚ろな『偽物的』雰囲気も感じさせる。%K%P
But at the same time they also somehow felt hollow and fake because of it.

ひとの温もりみたいなものを、根こそぎ剥ぎ取られてしまったような……。%K%P
As if things like human warmth had been ripped out of them by the roots....

こころ「あ……」%K%P
Ah...

――理解できた。%K%P
――I finally understood.

こころ「スフィア、だ」%K%P
This is SPHIA.

手の甲を見る。%K%P
I look at the back of my hand.

見慣れた『冬川こころ』のものとは違う、ゴツゴツした大きな手。%K%P
These hands were rugged and large, not like the hands which belong to the "Fuyukawa Kokoro" I was familiar with.

こころ「また、転移……しちゃったんだ」%K%P
I... transferred again, huh?

ため息とともに呟いた。%K%P
I muttered, as I let out a sigh.

ふいに、尿意を覚えた。%K%P
Suddenly, I realized I had to pee.

立ち上がり、出口近くにあるユニットバスの扉を開く。%K%P
I stood up and opened up the door to the unit bath near the exit of the room.

各部屋にシャワーだけでなく、トイレも備えられているのだ。%K%P
Each room was equipped with not only a shower, but a toilet as well.

眠い目をこすりながらベルトに手をかけて……%T30固まった。%K%P
I rubbed my sleepy eyes as I reached for my belt... and froze.

この身体は男性のものだ。%K%P
This is a man's body.

それで用を足すということは、つまり……。%K%P
So in order to relieve myself, that would mean....

こわごわ見下ろす。%K%P
I looked down timidly.

股の間にある違和感。%K%P
There was a strange feeling between my legs.

つまりっ、%T30つまりっ、%T30つまりぃっ……%T30ソレを、%T30手で、%T30掴め、%T30と……？%K%P
In other words, in other words, in other words..... I have to use my hands, and hold onto... that...?

し、仕方がないのだ。%K%P
I, I have no other choice.

だってだって、今の私の身体は、男なんだから。%K%P
Because, because... right now, my body... is a man's body!

生理現象を処理するためなんだから。%K%P
I'm just doing this in order to take care of a normal biological process, that's all!

変な意味で触れるわけじゃないんだから。%K%P
I'm not touching it for any weird reason or anything!

そんなことぐらい、頭ではわかっている。%K%P
I understood all that in my mind.

わかっているけれども！%K%P
But STILLLLLLL!!

私はトイレから飛び出し、部屋の中央に突っ伏した。%K%P
I burst out of the washroom and fell prostrate in the middle of the bedroom.

こころ「落ち着け！　落ち着くんだ、私！」%K%P
Calm down! Calm down, me!

こころ「深呼吸よ！　深呼吸するのよ！」%K%P
Deep breath! Take a deep breath!

こころ「すーすーはー！　すーすーはー！」%K%P
*hooooh... hooooooh... haaaaaah...* *hooooh... hoooooooooh... haaaaaaaaah...*

気が動転してるためか、深呼吸もうまくいかなかった。%K%P
Maybe it was because I was just too shaken up, but I couldn't even take proper deep breaths.

こころ「ひーひーふー！　ひーひーふー！」%K%P
*hiiiih hiiiiiih huuuuuuuu...!* *hiiiih hiiiiiih huuuuuuuu...!*

気がつけば、なんだか安産しそうな感じに変わってしまう。%K%P
If I had paid more attention to myself, I would have noticed that it was almost as if I were giving birth.

下腹の辺りがムズムズする。%K%P
An uncomfortable feeling was radiating from my abdomen.

猛烈な尿意が、私のお腹を圧迫してる。%K%P
The intense urge to pee was building and building there.

こころ「うあ……はうっ！？」%K%P
Uwaa... hauu?!

やばい。%K%P
Oh no.

むっちゃ、やばい。%K%P
Ohhhh no.

こころ「このままじゃ、おとな失格になっちゃうぅぅ～～！」%K%P
If this keeps up, I won't be able to call myself an adult～～!

私はもう２０歳。%T30成人。%T30大人。%K%P
I'm already twenty years old. A grownup. An adult!

大人として。%K%P
And as an adult,

いや、女の子として。%K%P
no, as a woman,

いやいや、人として、ズボンを濡らすわけにはいかない。%K%P
no no, as a human being, I cannot, must not, wet my pants!

こころ「そうよ……たかがトイレに行くだけ……」%K%P
That's right... it's just going to the washroom, that's all...

こころ「気にしなければいいのよ」%K%P
No big deal at all!

私はトイレまで這っていった。%K%P
I crept back into the bathroom.

ひとりでなにやってんだろ？　――という疑問がふとよぎるが、考えないことにする。%K%P
What am I doing talking to myself? ――That question suddenly crossed my mind, but I pushed it to the back of my head.

こころ「いつも通り、すればいいのよ」%K%P
Yeah, just do it like always.

こころ「ズボンを降ろして、ただトイレに座るだけ……」%K%P
Just pull down your pants, and then sit down on the toilet...

こころ「下は見ないように……」%K%P
Don't look down...

こころ「それだけで、いいんだからっ」%K%P
Just do that and everything will be all right.

こころ「頑張れっ。頑張れ、私っ！」%K%P
I can do it. I can do it!

自分を応援しながら、いつも通りズボンを降ろした。%K%P
Cheering myself on, I lowered my pants, just like I've always done.

普段トイレに行くように、便座に腰掛け――%K%P
And just like a normal trip to the bathroom, I took a seat on the――

私は再びトイレから飛び出した。%K%P
And once again, I burst out of the washroom.

部屋の中央に突っ伏す。%K%P
And fell to my knees, hanging my head, in the middle of the bedroom.

こころ「普段トイレに行くとき……」%K%P
When I usually go to the washroom...

こころ「狙いを定めるなんて作業はしないのよぉっ！」%K%P
I never had to do all this hard work just to aiiiiim!

男性がトイレで用を足すには、女の子より作業がひとつ多いと知る、冬川こころ、２０歳の冬。%K%P
Men have to perform one extra step when they go to the bathroom. Fuyukawa Kokoro, in the winter of her twentieth year, learned this valuable lesson.

うあーん……知りたくなかった、そんなことっ！%K%P
Waaaaah... but I didn't need to know, I didn't want to know!

こころ「どうすればいいのよ～っ！」%K%p
What should I dooo～?!

我慢する
Hold it in

覚悟してトイレに行く
Mentally prepare and go

やっぱり、恥ずかしいし……%K%P
As I thought, this is just too embarrassing...

私は我慢することにした。%K%P
I decided to hold it.

しかし……%K%P
But...

こころ「わ……うわわわわわっ！」%K%P
Wa... uwawawawawaa!

尿意は下っ腹をノックし続けている。%K%P
The urge to pee won't let up, like a constant knocking in my abdomen.

ベートーベンが『運命』の作曲を開始してしまいそうなぐらい、盛大なノックだ。%K%P
A grand, booming knocking, almost like the beginning of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
//old: A grand booming knock, almost like the beginning of Beethoven's "Fate." <--- 運命 (Fate) is the Japanese title of the Symphony No. 5, better known as the Fifth Symphony.

こころ「はうっ！？　あ……うあ……っ！？　のああああ！？」%K%P
Hau?! A... ua....a?! Nowaaaa?!

たらりたらりと脂汗が流れる。%K%P
Sweat dripped from my body like rain.

やばいっ！　やばすぎるっ！%K%P
This is bad! This is reallllly bad!

こころ「どうしよ……？」%K%p
What do I do...?

それでも我慢する
Keep holding it in

覚悟してトイレに行く
Mentally prepare and go

超内股でベッドまで歩み寄り、頭に枕をかぶせて、トイレのことを忘れようとした。%K%P
I pressed my inner thighs against the bed and buried my face in my pillow, trying to forget about it.

こころ「なんか違うこと考えればいいのよ……」%K%P
If only I could think about something else....

とりあえず、苦手な哲学の授業のことを思い出してみようっ。%K%P
Okay, let's try to think about those philosophy lectures I had so much difficulty with.

こころ「えっと……道徳形而上学によってカントは『我が上なる星空と我が内なる道徳律』に……」%K%P
Umm, let's see.... according to "Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals," Kant wrote, "Two things fill the mind with ever-increasing awe..."
//N.H.: Btw, they actually use only a part of that quote (and of the book name) here. Literally:
//"According to "Metaphysics of Morality", "the starry heavens above and the moral law within" were things that Kant found to..." ('fill him with awe', she obviously intended to say)
//Ahh, I see! I think the whole title is alright to keep, but will revert the quote some as that does make sense with the pained grunt right below. Unsure is we should take it back to the more literal sense though or not, but this works for now.

こころ「――はうぁっ！？」%K%P
"The starry heavens above me and the moral law within me..." ――Auuu?!

私の思考は、すぐに遮られた。%K%P
My train of thought was interrupted almost immediately.

床をゴロゴロ転がりながら、迫り来る大津波に抗う。%K%P
I fought against the imminent tidal wave heading my way as I tossed and turned, rolling across the bed.

こころ「うあ……はにゃ……や…ばい……」%K%p
Uwaa.... this... is... bad....

が……がまんだ……
Hold... it... in...

覚悟してトイレに行く
Mentally prepare and go

こころ「それでも…が…我慢するのよ……」%K%P
Still... I h... have to hold it...

こころ「うにゃっ…はわっ…うわわっ…！」%K%P
Hnnnngg... hau... guaaaah...!

こころ「たっ……はっ……ふわっ……」%K%P
Tah... uhaa... guah...

こころ「って、やっぱムリ――っっっ！」%K%P
Ahhhh, I can't do iiiittt――!!

こころ「はうあっ！　限界だよぉっ！」%K%P
Tahaaaagh! Can't take it anymoooore!

私はのたうつようにしながら、再びトイレを目指した。%K%P
Writhing, I made my way toward the bathroom once again.

こんな格好見られたら、お嫁に行けなくなるような気がするが、考えないことにする。%K%P
If someone were to see me like this, I probably wouldn't ever be able to get married! But I tried not to think about it.

考えたら、たぶん泣いてしまうから。%K%P
If I even thought about it, I'd probably burst into tears.

私は、覚悟を決めて、トイレに腰掛けた――%K%P
I made up my mind and lowered myself onto the toilet――

こころ「つ……疲れた……」%K%P
So... so tired...

グッタリとベッドにへたり込んだ。%K%P
I collapsed onto the bed, completely exhausted.

用を足すのにこれほど疲労したのは、生まれて初めてだった。%K%P
It's the first time in my life that I've gotten this worn out just going to the washroom.

もしこの人格交換が、これからも続くのなら慣れなければいけないのだろうが……%K%P
If this personality exchange keeps going from now on then I might have no choice but to get used to this...

うら若い乙女であるところの私にとっては、刺激が強すぎる！%K%P
But this is just too much for a young lady like me!

そう簡単に慣れることはできそうにない。%K%P
There's no way I can get used to it that easily.

こころ「ということは……ちょっと待ってよ！」%K%P
Wait a second... so that means...!

恐るべきことに気がついた。%K%P
I had just realized something truly horrifying.

今、避難小屋にいる私の身体には、私が今入っているこの身体の持ち主――優希堂悟の人格が宿っているかもしれないということだ！%K%P
The owner of the body I am currently in――in other words, the personality of Yukidoh Satoru, is probably inside my body at the shelter cabin right now!

つまり、彼は、私の身体を自由にできる……。%K%P
So that means... he... he has the freedom to do whatever he wants with my body....

見ず知らずの男性に身体をもてあそばれているような気がして、全身が総毛立つ。%K%P
I shuddered all over at the thought of some man I've never met fooling around with my body.

こころ「い……やぁ……」%K%P
N... no...

思わずうめいてしまった。%K%P
I groaned instinctively.

なんだかもどかしくて、檻の中の動物のように部屋を歩き回ってしまう。%K%P
Feeling somewhat irritated, I paced back and forth in the room like a caged animal.

ジッとしていられなかった。%K%P
But I still couldn't seem to calm myself down.

そのとき、テーブルの上にメモが置かれているのに気づいた。%K%P
That's when I noticed the note that had been left on the table.

すがるように手に取る。%K%P
I grabbed and held it tightly in my hand.

頭の中のモヤモヤは、なかなか消えてくれない。%K%P
The cloud of confusion in my head still hasn't cleared up.

顔でも洗ってこよう……。%K%P
I'm going to wash my face....

立ち上がり、出口近くにあるユニットバスの扉を開く。%K%P
I stood up and opened the door to the unit bath near the doorway of the room.

冷たい水を何度か顔にひっかけているうちに、次第に頭の中がクリアになっていく。%K%P
As the cold water washed over my face again and again, my head started to clear up bit by bit.

意味不明なモヤモヤも消えていった。%K%P
The unclear feeling of confusion disappeared as well.

こころ「ふぅ～」%K%P
Whew～

顔をあげると、鏡に『彼』が映っていた。%K%P
When I looked up, I saw "him" in the mirror in front of me.

彼――優希堂悟。%K%P
Him――Yukidoh Satoru.

今、彼は私なのだ。%K%P
Because right now, he is me.

こころ「どうして、こんな風になっちゃったんだろう……」%K%P
How did things get like this...?

人格が互い違いに交換されてしまうなんて。%K%P
Something as far-fetched as alternating exchanges of personality...

もしこの人格交換が、これからも続くとしたら、私の人生はどうなっちゃうんだろう？%K%P
If this personality exchange keeps going, then what's going to happen to my life from now on?

タオルで顔を拭くと、鏡の中の優希堂悟もまた、顔をタオルで拭いた。%K%P
As I wiped my face with a towel, the Yukidoh Satoru in the mirror also wiped his face with a towel.

こころ「ん？　んん？？」%K%P
Hm? Hmmmm?

こころ「ということは……ちょっと待ってよ！」%K%P
Wait a second... so that means...!

恐るべきことに気がついた。%K%P
I just realized something truly horrifying.

今、避難小屋にいる私の身体には、私が今入っているこの身体の持ち主――優希堂悟の人格が宿っているかもしれないということだ！%K%P
The owner of the body I am currently in――in other words, the personality of Yukidoh Satoru, is probably inside my body at the shelter cabin right now!

つまり、彼は、私の身体を自由にできる……。%K%P
So that means... he... he has the freedom to do whatever he wants with my body....

見ず知らずの男性に身体をもてあそばれているような気がして、全身が総毛立つ。%K%P
I shuddered all over at the thought of some man I've never met fooling around with my body.

こころ「い……やぁ……」%K%P
N... no...

思わずうめいてしまった。%K%P
I groaned instinctively.

よろよろとした足取りでトイレから出る。%K%P
I staggered out of the washroom.

なんだかもどかしくて、檻の中の動物のように部屋を歩き回ってしまう。%K%P
Feeling somewhat irritated, I paced back and forth in the room like a caged animal.

ジッとしていられなかった。%K%P
But I still couldn't seem to calm myself down.

そのとき、テーブルの上にメモが置かれているのに気づいた。%K%P
That's when I noticed the note that had been left on the table.

すがるように手に取る。%K%P
I grabbed and held it tightly in my hand.

初めましてというべきか、毎度どうもというべきか、これほど挨拶に困る相手もいないな。%K%N
I'm not really sure if I should say "nice to meet you" or "thanks for visiting again." I doubt I've ever known anyone that I've had this much trouble coming up with a greeting for.

オレは優希堂悟。%K%N
I'm Yukidoh Satoru.

きみも気づいていると思うが、オレ達は人格交換をしているらしい。%K%N
I think you've already noticed it as well, but it looks like we're currently experiencing some kind of personality exchange.

原因はわからない。%K%N
I don't know the exact reason for this.

わかったのは、きみが『冬川こころ』という名前の女性であるということぐらいだ。%K%P
What I do know is that you're a woman named "Fuyukawa Kokoro."

この身体の持ち主、優希堂悟からのメモだ。%K%P
It was a note from the owner of this body, Yukidoh Satoru.

私は床にぺたんとしゃがみ込むと、むさぼるように続きを読んだ。%K%P
I plopped down on the bed and kept on reading anxiously.

初めに断っておきたいんだが、きみの身体のことだ。%K%N
The first thing I want to clear up is about your body.

なんというか……その……不必要にさわったり、見たりしないように気をつけている。%K%N
How do I say this... umm... I'll be careful not to touch or look at anything unless it's absolutely necessary.

きみがオレの顔を見て、どういう印象を抱いたのかわからないが、オレは一応紳士だ。%K%N
I don't know what your impression is of me from when you saw my face, but I am a gentleman.

どうか安心して欲しい。%K%P
So please don't worry about that.

私の気持ちを見透かしたかのような内容だった。%K%P
Those words... it was as if he saw right through my worries.

ほっと胸を撫で下ろす。%K%P
I patted my chest in relief.

彼が本当に、私の身体を見たり触ったりしていないかどうかは、わからない。%K%P
I don't know if he really didn't look at or touch my body.

しかし、少なくとも私が心配していることを見越して、気遣いをしてくれる人物であることはわかった。%K%P
But he at least anticipated what I was worried about, so I can see he's someone who's concerned about me.

そのことが私を安堵させた。%K%P
That made me feel more at ease.

メモは続く。%K%P
I continued reading the note.

さっそくだが、用件を伝える。%K%N
Forgive me for jumping right into business, but I have a few things I must discuss with you.

まずは、本当にこれが人格交換現象なのか、調べたいと思う。%K%N
The first thing I want to do is make sure what's happening is really a personality exchange.

オレの推測によれば、オレの意識がこの肉体を去っているあいだ、代わりにきみの意識がオレの肉体を支配しているものと思われる。%K%N
From what I can tell, it seems that during the time my consciousness leaves this body, your consciousness takes my place within it.

逆にきみの意識がきみの身体を離れているときには、オレの意識がきみの身体に憑依しているらしい。%K%N
Likewise, whenever your consciousness leaves your body, my consciousness takes possession of it.

まるで、２台の自動車を交互に運転するように……。%K%N
As if we're two drivers alternating between two different cars....

だが、確証はない。%K%P
But I don't have any conclusive evidence that this is what's happening.

今のところ、まわりの人々の証言だけが拠り所だ。%K%N
Right now, all I have to go on are the words of the people around me.

このスフィアでは、オレの身体が、オレの知らぬうちに、勝手に『冬川こころ』と名乗ったと聞いた。%K%N
I heard that at SPHIA, my body addressed itself as "Fuyukawa Kokoro" while I wasn't around.

そして、あの避難小屋でも、黄泉木さんが肉体の持ち主は『冬川こころ』だと教えてくれた。%K%N
And then at the shelter cabin, Yomogi-san told me the owner of the body was someone named "Fuyukawa Kokoro."

これらの証言を信じるならば、オレときみの意識は、交互にそれぞれの肉体を行ったり来たりしていると考えざるを得ない。%K%P
So if we were to believe what they said, then we have no choice but to accept that your consciousness and mine are coming and going between each other's bodies.

さて、しかしだ。%K%N
But.

オレは冬川こころの顔や声は知っていても、きみ自身の人格と会話したことがない。%K%N
Even though I know Fuyukawa Kokoro's face and voice, I haven't had a chance to communicate with your actual personality.

クルマに例えるならば、『冬川こころ』という車体は知っているが、もうひとりの運転手である『きみ』に会ったことがない。%K%P
If we use cars as the analogy, then I am familiar with "Fuyukawa Kokoro" the car, but I have yet to meet "you," the driver within.

遠まわしな言い方はよそう。%K%N
I won't beat around the bush.

要するに、オレは冬川こころという人格が本当に実在するのかどうか疑ってるんだ。%K%N
The point is, I have my doubts that this personality called "Fuyukawa Kokoro" really exists.

そこで、きみが実際に存在するという証拠をどこかに残しておいてもらいたい。%K%N
So I was hoping you would leave some kind of evidence behind that proves you actually do exist.

直接会話することはできないから、せめてこのメモ用紙に返信みたいなものでも書いておいてくれないか？%K%P
Since we can't talk to each other directly, can you at least write down some kind of a reply on the paper this note is written on?

なんでもいい。%K%N
Anything will do.

オレの肉体を操っているのが冬川こころの人格であるという証しを残してくれ。%K%N
Just leave some evidence behind that the Fuyukawa Kokoro personality controlling my body exists.

それから、できれば時間を計測してほしい。%K%N
Also, if you can, I'd like you to record the time.

なんの時間かというと、きみがオレの肉体に乗り移っていた時間だ。%K%N
The time I'm interested in is the time that you took over my body.

これにより、ある一定時間ごとに転移が繰り返されるのか、それとも、不規則にそれは行なわれるのか、わかるようになるだろう。%K%N
From this, we can determine whether the transfer of consciousness happens at a fixed schedule, or if it occurs randomly.

なにか法則性が見出せればいいのだが……。%K%P
If we could figure out some kind of pattern to it....

そうすれば、お互い何かと便利だろ？%K%N
Then wouldn't it be more convenient for both of us?

あと１分で転移が起こるから、それまでに何かしておこうとか、そういうことができるようになる。%K%N
We'd be able to realize when there's one more minute until the transfer and finish up whatever we need to do by then.

しかし、なんの法則性もないとしたら……。%K%N
But, if it happens at random....

まあ、そのときはそのときだ。%K%N
Well, we'll figure something out if and when that turns out to be the case.

『法則性がない』ということがわかっただけでも前進というものだろう。%K%P
Even realizing that "the transfers are happening at random" is a step forward, right?

ああ、そうそう。%K%N
Ah, right, right.

そう言えば、大事なことを書き忘れていた。%K%N
That reminds me, I forgot to write down something very important.

実は、オレは……。%K%N
The truth is, I....

いや『オレの身体は』と書いた方がいいかな。%K%N
No, maybe "my body" would be more accurate.

実は、オレの身体は　　　　　　　　　　　　%K%P
The truth is, my body is

こころ「これで、終わり！？」%K%P
Is, is that it?!

裏返してみた。%K%P
I turned the paper around.

裏は白いページがあるきり。%K%P
The back was completely blank.

ここで終わってしまっている。%K%P
That was the end of his note.

こころ「なんなのよ、もう！」%K%P
What was he thinking?! Geez!

私はテーブルを叩いた。%K%P
I slammed my hand down on the table.

こころ「『オレの身体は……』どうしたっていうの！？」%K%P
What is up with that "my body is..."?!

こころ「こんなところで終わられたら、よけいに気になるじゃない！」%K%P
Wouldn't ending the note at a place like that just make me even more anxious?!

こころ「バッカじゃないの！？　この男！」%K%P
Is he an idiot?! Geeeez!

こころ「『大事なこと』だったら、初めに書きなさいよね！」%K%P
If it really was "something really important," then write it down at the beginning of the note!

こころ「いつ人格変換が起こるかわからないっていうのに……」%K%P
We don't even know when the next personality exchanges will happen...

メモに向かって文句をまくし立てていた私は、そこで口を閉じた。%K%P
I went silent with those words as I stared at the note.

つまり、そういうことなのだ。%K%P
Ah, so that's why.

途切れたメモは、書いている途中で人格変換が行われたということを示しているのだろう。%K%P
The note was probably unfinished because the personality exchange occurred while he was still writing it.

それに……%K%P
And so...

メモを読み返す。%K%P
I read over the note once again.

冒頭は私への気遣いで始まっている。%K%P
He started the letter off with his concerns about me.

大事なことよりも、私への気遣いを優先させたと取れなくもない。%K%P
And he kindly tried to ease my worries before continuing on to more important matters.

おかげで、先ほどまで感じていた嫌悪感は霧散しているし……。%K%P
Thanks to that, the creepy feeling I had about him a few moments ago disappeared....

どこの誰ともしれない悟という人物の人となりを、コンタクトを取ることによって多少でも知ることができたのは、大きな安心材料だと思う。%K%P
To initiate contact with this character named Satoru, whom I knew absolutely nothing about, and be able to know some things about him was a big step toward reassuring me.

こころ「頼れそうなヒトで良かった……」%K%P
I'm glad he seems to be someone I can count on...

人格交換なんて、普通じゃ考えられない事態だ。%K%P
Personality exchange isn't usually a situation that people have to consider.

だが、それは起こってしまった。%K%P
But it has indeed happened.

その事実に直面して混乱し、『どうしようどうしよう』とか言ってうろたえてばかりいるような軟弱なヤツが相棒だったとしたら、本当に救いようがない。%K%P
If my partner in this had been a wimp who only freaked out and went "what do I do, what do I do?" then we really would have no chance of making it out.

しかし――%K%P
But――

こころ「ひとまず、そういうことはなさそうね」%K%P
He doesn't seem like someone who would do that, at least for now.

論理的な文面の記された、メモを眺めた。%K%P
I looked at the note inscribed with those logical words.

几帳面に並ぶ筆跡を、指でなぞってみる。%K%P
With my fingers, I traced the neat, organized handwriting.

相棒の存在を、私は確かにそこに感じた。%K%P
I can indeed feel a sense of partnership from it.

こころ「相棒、か……」%K%P
Partners, huh...

この理不尽な現象を悟と共有している。%K%P
Satoru is going through the same unexplainable circumstances as I am.

なんとか抗おうと、努力している仲間がいる。%K%P
I have a friend who will do his best no matter what he's up against.

こころ「よし！」%K%P
All right then!

私は気合いをいれて、勢いよく立ち上がった。%K%P
I gathered up my willpower and jumped to my feet with energy.

やはり仲間がいるというのは何よりも心強いものである。%K%P
Just as I thought, having a friend with me is more encouraging and reassuring than anything else.

私はちょっとだけ、あくまでちょっとだけ勇気づけられたような気がした。%K%P
I could feel a bit, just a tiny bit, of courage building inside of me.

こころ「あ！　いっけない！」%K%P
Oh no!

忘れるところだった。%K%P
I forgot.

悟のメモには、時間を計測してくれと書かれていた。%K%P
Satoru's note asked me to write down the time.

ベッドサイドに置かれている目覚まし時計を見た。%K%P
I glanced at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table.

蛍光塗料の塗られた時計の針が、１時１７分を差している。%K%P
The hands coated with fluorescent paint pointed to 1:17.

こころ「うわ、もうお昼じゃない……！」%K%P
Uwaa, it's already past noon...!

寝過ごしたかな。%K%P
Did I oversleep?

昨日は色々あって参っていたとはいえ、かなり長い時間寝ていたことになる。%K%P
I was overwhelmed by a lot of things that happened yesterday, but nevertheless, I slept for way too long last night.

私って、図太いのかなあ。%K%P
That was really just too shameless of me.

ううん、そんなことはない！%K%P
Noo, no way!

黛のいやらしそうな笑顔が脳裏をよぎったので、慌てて首を振った。%K%P
I shook my head in a hurry as Lin's annoying smile appeared in my mind.

さて、目を覚ましたのは何分くらい前だったっけ？%K%P
Now, about how long has it been since I woke up?

トイレに行ったり、メモを読んだりしていた時間は……。%K%P
So the time it took me to go to the washroom and read the note was about....

顔を洗ったり、メモを読んだりしていた時間は……。%K%P
So the time it took me to wash my face and read the note was about....

こころ「……だいたい１０分ぐらいかな？」%K%P
...I think it was about ten minutes?

テーブルには、ペンも置かれていた。%K%P
There was a pen lying on the table.

メモの裏に、私はこう書いておいた。%K%P
I turned the note over and wrote on the other side of it.

『午後１時７分転移』%K%P
The transfer happened at 1:07 PM.

こちらからの返信も書かなければならないが……私は一旦ペンを置いた。%K%P
I have to write a response to his note, but I put the pen down for now.

安心したせいか、急に空腹を感じたのだ。%K%P
Maybe it's because I felt relieved, but I suddenly felt absolutely famished.

ぐるるるると、腹が大きく鳴る。%K%P
Gururururu... My stomach rumbled loudly.

こころ「男の人って、おなかの音も大きいのかな？」%K%P
Do all guys' stomachs make such a loud noise?

そんなことを呟きながら、私はなにか腹ごしらえをするために、キッチンへ向かうことにした。%K%P
I muttered as I headed toward the kitchen to find something to eat.

相棒を腹ぺこのままでおくわけにも、いかないだろう。%K%P
I mean, I can't just leave my partner starving like this, right?