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Jun 19th, 2017
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  1. For sale: Piece of shit Audi car, $3500
  2. Selling for my out of state roommate, this automobile is a 1998 a4 1.8t "with a B5 body style", whatever that means. Maroon in color. Missing piece of bumper not held on by zip tie, cosmetic only (unless zip tie breaks, then you're fucked). This car is a super vroom vroom mobile, perfect for the "Car Boi" in your life that likes to tailgate people and take highway off ramps at 80 mph to show how edgy he is. Manual transmission to fuel the closet homosexual race car fantasy in us all. Slashes in driver's seat of unknown origin, no biggie. This car is great for driving to the rifle range (ample trunk space) and engaging in anonymous night time craigslist encounters at the Genesee Valley Park. Previous "almost sale" resulted in super race car sounding broken exhaust, and fumes vented into passenger compartment. Like THAT is any deal breaker, come on. Probably just something slipped out of place by the engine, but I'm not sure because I can't open the hood without dremeling off the hook. But what the hell, it comes with a new clutch! Please be advised that partial sales in cash, pending full sale price in the future, will result in you losing your money. That's just the way it goes.
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  4. Serious offers only, unless you just want to give me cash for a "down payment" (see above)
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