hints3

Magic Meter:
- 'a stamina scroll': in ALBW, stamina is the magic meter, which is why it's called a stamina scroll. This is somewhat unorthodox usage and a reference, so I'm fine conceding this. This shouldn't be called "sorcerer's scroll" tho, since that does not imply that it give the ability to use magic, just that it's a spell, so it sounds more like din's fire etc.
- 'a green rectangle': wtv, it's fine
- 'a Magic Meter': This still seems really weird to me.

Double Defense:
"sturdy hearts": sure
"strengthened love": this is a pun, so I don't see the argument. I'm fine changing this to something like "stronger love" or wtv if you want.

Hookshot:
-"the Grapple Beam" and "the BOING! chain": I just feel that these terms are just more misleading than I think you think they are. The whole "chain" reference is just not really a good indicator for the hookshot, but whatever. I don't think breaking the 4th wall means that it should make references to things in other games.

FYI: The text from LTTP for getting the hookshot is: "BOING! This is the Hook Shot! It extends and contracts and... BOING! It can grapple many things!" It doesn't really make any sense since it doesn't make a boing sound, but something something retro localization. I'm sure this was some onomatopoeia in Japanese, which behave very different in English. Anyways, it's somewhat of a minor meme for those that remember this. LTTP has a bunch of bad item texts like this, such as the hammer.

Scale:
-"a deep dive": I don't get the joke obviously. Having something not making sense isn't really a joke.
-"a deeper dive": This is the only one that actually implies that you get something that allows you to dive deeper.
-"dive depth": it needs to be something that implies you can dive deeper than before, and dive depth is just a metric and has no indication of increase.

Hammer:
-"a matallic crusher": I'm fine replacing this with "a matellic mallet"
-"massive mallet": massive implies that it's big, not heavy, so not really accurate. "Heavy hammer", would be more appropriate, but it's too similar to actual name so not a fan of that.

Kokiri Sword:
-"a child's cutter": I was making a point that I felt like it was too easy to misread it to be something kinda disturbing. Especially since cutter is usually not used to refer to the knife, but to the person using the knife. People don't typically read everything and skip around.

Hylian Shield
-"a like like's lunch crunch": dunno, you really need to say that it's metal, but it's already a bit of a mouthful.

Farore's Wind:
-"a relocation rune": this is why you need to be careful reading dictionaries. Rune just means a character/letter. In magic, the idea was that you had to have your spells written, often in a secret magic language, in order to work. That's kinda why lot of rpgs have magic on scrolls and books. Usually when people refer to magic runes, they mean some kind of lettering that somehow magical in nature because they are written in a magical language. language is magic. Talking about using magic runes that don't involve lettering makes no sense.
-"a green wind": funnily enough, I think people don't think about the wind part of the FW, just farores. In any case, sure wtv, i'm don't have strong feelings, so it can be removed.

Lens of Truth:
-"a detective's tool": if this is hated, I can remove it. however, if you google image search the word "detective", it's literally nothing but dudes holding magnifying glasses. The pairing is extremely ubiquitous. I can't imagive people wouldn't be able to make the connection, but maybe I'm biased. It's not a pun, but I don't think it needs to be. It's cute. It's not the comedy stone.

Goron Tunic:
-"Cooking clothing": the issue is that this discription just feels like it's in the wrong direction, and it's something I might have trouble understanding without looking it up. But if you think it's something people will easily figure out, then fine I guess? It should be "cooking clothes" tho, since it just reads better.

Epona's Song:
-"a ranch song": again, I don't think it needs to be a pun. It's just a cute twist on how it's normally described. It's not even an obvious way to think about the song. You'd be surprised that people don't associate Epona's Song with Lon Lon Ranch theme...

Sun's Song:
-"The gibdo's bane": I just don't see the issue of having both. They are both fine and it's more variety. (Also I keep typing bigdo)

Bolero of Fire:
"a volcano verse": it's just that in this case you are using a noun like an adjective, but in every other song, it's a proper adjective. It just comes off as a bit weird, and "volcanic verse" is a bit more proper as well and flows better
"a song of a red sea": Maybe it's because I'm a jew, but there's something called "song of the sea", but I kinda liked this as a pun. Probably should've been "the song of the red sea". Anyways, I'm fine cutting it if you don't like it.

Ruto's LetteR::
-"fishy stationery": "fishy" is never used. Fishy in this case is a nice pun because this is both "a letter from a fish" and also "a suspicious letter", especially since the letter says "Don't tell my father!" I really like this one.

 Gerudo Membership Card:
 -"girl club membership": I'm not a huge fan of this either, but at least it's canon, since it's actually about getting admittance into a woman-only organization.
-"a dersert tribe's pass": I agree it's not that creative, but I'm not really a fan of the other suggestions. They are way too vague. At least this is descriptive.

Recovery Heart:
-"short-term love": I'd rather have something that says that it's restoring something, not that it's temporary. When I think of temporary hearts, I think of "overhealing". Many rpgs have a term called temporary HP. Anyways, maybe we could dump the love, and go for something that has to do with the heart. Like something like "a defibrillator shock" or along those lines.

Huge Rupee:
-"yellow gem": I'm fine with this one. Giant gem sounds just too close to huge rupee to me.

Blue Rupee:
-"a fiver": I have no idea what that is, but I assume it's a nickel, lol. Five-er? Anyways yeah no good. I think we should just avoid the real world currency stuff. Penny is kinda borderline, but at least that's used in a lot of places.

Deku Nuts:
-"Sheik's ammo": yes, but she literally uses a deku nut every time sheik talks to you except when she reveals herself as zelda. I think this is a really cute joke. I'd be more ok if you could argue that you couldn't make the connection between deku nuts and sheik. Calling it something related to her using it to escape would be too far removed I think. I would suggest to add something like "flash grenades", but I assume you wouldn't like that as being too simple.
-"Deku vomit": call me old fashion, but I don't think we should going for crude stuff for no reason