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1
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:16,250
[lips popping]

2
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:17,684
[Richard trilling] Bro.

3
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:21,088
Why.

4
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,723
[Richard scatting]

5
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,132
Bastard.

6
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,368
Brian.

7
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,136
Bra.

8
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,404
Bastard.

9
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:38,639
[Richard clearing throat]

10
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:39,606
Roo.

11
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,210
Ahem. I saw Susie
sitting in a shoe shine shop.

12
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,045
Barbara. Bastard.

13
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,781
Lemons, Lennon, liniment.

14
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,617
No. Lennon's lemon liniment.

15
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,386
[woman] A touch more powder,
Mr. Thorncroft.

16
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,320
Okay.

17
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,456
[clears throat]

18
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,692
There he is.

19
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,096
Okay, Clive, let's do this.

20
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:06,667
Hey, Richie, I'm just prepping
for the stunt later on, okay?

21
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,503
-Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
-So, Pat, she's gonna faint, okay?

22
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,271
And then you pull her up like this:

23
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,373
Keeping this very strong.

24
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,676
-Yep.
-Pelvis close and go for the kiss.

25
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,412
-Watch this.
-Clive, okay. I have read the script.

26
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:19,780
Something like this?

27
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:21,815
I've got you.

28
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:24,184
You've got me all right.

29
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:26,820
[crowd whistling and cheering]

30
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,457
[sighs] Save it for the take, baby.

31
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,292
-Plenty more where that came from. Ha, ha.
-[chuckles]

32
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,395
That was okay,
but don't open your mouth when you kiss

33
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,664
because it spreads germs
all around the set.

34
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,833
-When you're acting, purse your lips.
-Clive.

35
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,501
Clive. Clive.

36
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,537
We weren't acting. [chuckles]

37
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,205
-I was acting.
-What?

38
00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:47,608
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

39
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,209
Hello.

40
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:53,347
Pow! This little firecracker
is the real star of Mindhorn.

41
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:56,116
[chuckles] Maybe I could get
some more lines next time.

42
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,184
[Richard laughing] That's a good one.

43
00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:00,487
-That's your handbrake there.
-Yeah, okay, walk away, Clive, walk away.

44
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,522
-Ready to shoot.
-[chuckles]

45
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:03,790
Shoes, Clive.

46
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,659
[Clive] Shoes coming in.

47
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,394
Shoes are safe.

48
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:08,795
[grunts]

49
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,665
Shoes going on.

50
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,301
Shoes on.

51
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,571
Okay, let's go.

52
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,274
[man 1] Okay, guys, first positions.

53
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:23,143
You know I love you.

54
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:23,877
[man 1] Turn over.

55
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,412
I love you, too, honey.

56
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,346
[man 2] Sound running.

57
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:28,281
-Truth time.
-[man 1] Action!

58
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:33,353
[narrator] In 1983, Special Agent
Bruce P. Mindhorn was captured

59
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:36,390
during a secret operation
on the Siberian border.

60
00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:39,860
Communist doctors performed
experimental cybernetic surgery upon him.

61
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:44,564
They removed his eye and replaced it
with a super-advanced optical lie detector

62
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,335
which meant
he could literally see the truth.

63
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,306
He escaped Russia
and returned home to the Isle of Man.

64
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:58,178
Bruce Mindhorn became
the best plainclothes detective

65
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,546
the Isle of Man had ever seen.

66
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,580
[woman grunts]

67
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,618
In a world of lies,
one man has had enough.

68
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,221
You can't hide the truth from...

69
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:09,723
Mindhorn.

70
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:17,764
[man] Richard Thorncroft is an actor
on the crest of a wave.

71
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:21,768
Richard, he's strong
and sprints like a panther.

72
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:27,441
Acting is 95 percent physicality.

73
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,410
That's why I practice capoeira.

74
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:34,548
[man] Here we see Richard demonstrating
the art of the Ginga

75
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,616
that gives him his flexibility
as an actor.

76
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:40,921
Your mouth's saying no,
but your brain's saying yes.

77
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,591
[man] But in real life,
Richard's eye has fallen on

78
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,928
part-time actress and full-time lovely
Patricia Deville.

79
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:52,666
Richard and I are a wonderful team,
both at work and, hopefully,

80
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:54,968
in life forever.

81
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,472
[man] Such is the success of Mindhorn,
it's rumored that Windjammer,

82
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,374
played by Peter Easterman,
may even get his own show.

83
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,510
[laughing]

84
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:08,782
I-- I-- I can't envisage
any kind of spin-off.

85
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:12,419
[man] Spin-offs or not,
Richard's star is burning bright

86
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:15,355
thanks to publicity genius
Jeffrey Moncrief.

87
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,725
We work hard on Mindhorn,
but we play hard, too.

88
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,427
Sometimes too hard. Heh.

89
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,795
Hello, rehab. [laughing]

90
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:23,930
[man] But to stay at the top,

91
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,633
you need to be remarkable
both on-screen and off,

92
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,603
and Richard certainly knows
how to play that game.

93
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,539
The Isle of Man is a ****hole.

94
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,473
What?

95
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:37,344
Peter Easterman is not a great actor.

96
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,646
But when he is acting, he--

97
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,449
At least he stands there and does stuff.

98
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,985
[man] Whether Richard's winning awards
for his acting

99
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:48,288
or courting controversy
on top-rated chat shows,

100
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:52,492
it seems nothing can stop him
heading all the way to the top.

101
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,494
I'm going to Hollywood. Bye.

102
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,776
[man 1] Police in the Isle of Man
have discovered the body

103
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,078
of a young woman
washed up on Douglas beach.

104
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,916
[woman 1] Police are treating
Katya Lipinskii's death as murder.

105
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,352
[man 2] Police have confirmed

106
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,322
they have received several phone calls
from the suspect,

107
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,324
but have refused to divulge the content.

108
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:35,669
[phone ringing]

109
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,013
It's Plasticine.

110
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:49,783
It's here.

111
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:52,852
[ringing continues]

112
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:57,057
Hello?

113
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,792
[Melly] I've told you before,

114
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:02,796
there's only one person I will speak to,
Detective Mindhorn.

115
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,864
-Melly?
-My name is The Kestrel.

116
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,099
[Melly squawking]

117
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,534
Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

118
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,570
-The Kestrel.
-Thank you.

119
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,139
I'll call the police station tomorrow

120
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,909
and if I'm not talking
to Detective Mindhorn in person,

121
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,444
more people are going to die.

122
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,045
Signing off.

123
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:20,547
-[Melly squawking]
-[grunts]

124
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,481
[shouts]

125
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:25,986
[Green] Chief?

126
00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:27,554
[Newsome] Oh, great.

127
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,691
Our chief suspect wants to talk
to a fictional fucking detective.

128
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,462
Mindhorn.

129
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,097
It was fucking shite and all.

130
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,734
Have you heard of haemotracteathosis?

131
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:44,170
It was on the menu
at my local Indian restaurant last night.

132
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,472
[both laughing]

133
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,041
Bruce, let me help you with this case.

134
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,943
I've told you before, I work alone.

135
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,745
What are we gonna do, chief?

136
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:52,679
You're crazy!

137
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,482
[Newsome] We've got 24 hours to produce
a convincing Mindhorn.

138
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:57,717
We'll have to bring the actor over
to take the call.

139
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,719
Tell that to the people
who stole my eye.

140
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,622
-Now, let's just think about this.
-[Newsome] Green's right.

141
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,458
Believe me, I wish that he wasn't.

142
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,761
Get me Mindhorn.

143
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,464
[Mindhorn on recording]
It's truth time.

144
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,073
[Richard] Baboons.

145
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,809
Baboons bring bliss.

146
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,612
The Benedict Cumberbatch backlash
has begun.

147
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,721
You are exactly where you need to be.

148
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:42,495
You are a powerful tiger.

149
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:44,164
Let's do this.

150
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,067
[speaking indistinctly]

151
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,469
-Bugger. Bugger.
-[man] Oi, keep it down, will you?

152
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:50,737
Yeah, okay. Sorry.

153
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,238
What you doing in there?

154
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:53,673
[man knocking on wall]

155
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:56,576
[humming]

156
00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,612
[singing] Can't handcuff the wind

157
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,552
Ah, hello, lovely. Here for the casting.
Richard Thorncroft.

158
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,722
Oh, great. Mr. Branagh's nearly ready
for you, Richard.

159
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,657
-Crowthorne?
-Thorncroft.

160
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,258
The B man.

161
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:13,927
Kenny B.

162
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:17,097
[laughing] Bloody good to see you.

163
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,899
Let's crack this baby open.

164
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,872
Hi. Richard Crowthorne, eleven o'clock?

165
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:27,674
Oh.

166
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:29,676
Right.

167
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,945
[imitates Jamaican accent]
I speak the truth.

168
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,614
I am afeared of no man.

169
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:37,283
I am afeared of no creature.

170
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,152
I am my own man.

171
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:42,655
I am Clifton of Port Antonio.

172
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,190
Do you feel me?

173
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,127
Yeah, that's incredible.

174
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,995
That's-- That's literally incredible.

175
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,296
[clears throat]

176
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,098
-[in normal voice] Thank you.
-You're welcome.

177
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,801
Really, I mean, I don't know what to say,
but thank you.

178
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,037
I wanna try something.
I'd like to do it again.

179
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:59,706
But this time
I'd like to try it with a brogue.

180
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,008
Uh, no, I think we--
We're good, we've got everything.

181
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,077
I've seen everything
I could possibly want.

182
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,111
-You sure?
-[Kenneth] Oh, yeah.

183
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,046
Okay.

184
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,682
Well, acting aside,
it's been great to catch up.

185
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:10,683
[Richard laughing]

186
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,953
Kenny B. This guy was one crazy hombre
back in the day.

187
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,989
Do you remember that hotel in Maidstone?

188
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,324
Oh, who can-- Who can--
Who can forget that?

189
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,293
-Did a tour of Medway basin.
-Thank you.

190
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,928
And this fella-- [chuckles]

191
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,030
Well, they'll have to re-paper
that hotel room.

192
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,933
-[chuckles] Yeah.
-I love what you're doing these days.

193
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,736
Ken, I really admire your balls. Okay.

194
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:30,770
The B man.

195
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,138
Alrighty.

196
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:33,807
[Richard] The killer B.

197
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:35,875
The Branflake.

198
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:41,081
-Who was that?
-Not a fucking clue.

199
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:42,749
Hey, brother.

200
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,951
-You got my details?
-Yeah.

201
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:45,885
[Richard] Lovely.

202
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:53,626
[woman] Sorry, Sarah.

203
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,029
Front desk say Richard Thorncroft is here.

204
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,764
Oh, Christ. I'm with Simon.

205
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,965
Tell him to wait outside.

206
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,901
Ah, Richard, darling. How are you?

207
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,670
[woman] It's too late.
I couldn't stop him.

208
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,371
[Richard] How am I? Well, let me think.

209
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:09,142
I haven't had an audition in 18 months
and you get me a schizophrenic Yardie.

210
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,844
Sounds like a good part to me.

211
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:14,781
If you're a 60-year-old Jamaican man.
Sorry, Simon. I didn't realize it was you.

212
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,116
-Hello. Hi.
-Big, big fan.

213
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,118
Big fan. Caught your Equus in Chichester.

214
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,954
-Powerful piece of work.
-Great. Thank you.

215
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,622
And you were fantastic in, um...

216
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,725
Um...
Oh, God, my memory's gone these days.

217
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,861
-Uh, you were fantastic in it.
-Thank you.

218
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:30,163
Sorry about the cock-up.
It was the new assistant.

219
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,899
How could you mix me up with Crowthorne?
Do I not exist?

220
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,267
No one seems to know who I am.

221
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,936
Me and the Branster go way back.
I don't suppose you...

222
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,973
Simon, sweetie,
could you just give us a few moments?

223
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,241
I could have this salad.

224
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,009
-Come back. Two minutes.
-Yes, yes.

225
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,679
What the hell's going on?

226
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,815
You're going through a transitional phase.

227
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,416
You said that five years ago, Sarah.

228
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:53,253
I mean, you're moving
from young, handsome hero

229
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,122
-to older, still very handsome but not...
-Yes, yes.

230
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:59,726
What's happening with my autobiography?
Are there any takers, any bites?

231
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,928
[over comm] Very quiet time
for actors' autobiographies.

232
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,831
Is it really? It's not very quiet
for Peter Easterman, is it?

233
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,833
No, I don't think so. Volume three?

234
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,435
What's this one called?
What I Did Yesterday?

235
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:11,905
Windjammer's on its 16th season.

236
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,773
-Season.
-He's built a franchise.

237
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,709
He's even got his own range
of weatherproof clothing.

238
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,212
I did not get into this business
to sell cagoules.

239
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,080
You've gotta sell something, darling.

240
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,415
Sell this. Hmm?

241
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,919
This is a map of human emotion. Sell it.

242
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:26,986
Nobody can, darling.

243
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,154
You haven't got profile.

244
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,723
That's why you made me do
the Thrombi-Sox ads.

245
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,459
You said it would give me profile.
Thank God for Thrombi-Sox.

246
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,029
And that is not a sentence
I thought I'd ever utter.

247
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,897
Well, about Thrombi-Sox...

248
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,833
-What?
-They've gone in a different direction.

249
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,835
-[Richard] John fucking Nettles?
-[chuckles]

250
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:45,238
Well, you told the director
he was an embryo.

251
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,040
[Richard] He was-- He's about 12.

252
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,975
Sit down and calm down, come on.

253
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,177
All is not lost.

254
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,112
I had a very interesting offer for you.

255
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,080
An offer?

256
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,248
From the police.

257
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,918
-What do you mean?
-They want you to talk to a suspect

258
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,387
and see if you can lure him into custody.

259
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,123
What? So, this is a voiceover
or something?

260
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,326
Yeah, a bit like a voiceover.

261
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,062
-He thinks Mindhorn is a real detective.
-[Richard] What?

262
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,396
Mindhorn, that was it.

263
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,899
You were wonderful in that.
That was your Amadeus.

264
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,968
Well, I mean, Amadeus was my Amadeus.

265
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,369
[Richard] Yeah, fuck off, Callow.

266
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:19,105
This is a private conversation
between me and my agent.

267
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,040
Just calm down. Sit down.

268
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,443
-I don't wanna sit down.
-Stand up, but calm down.

269
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,377
I'll sit down.

270
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,079
Sit down, then.

271
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,382
Okay, so, let's focus
on this Mindhorn thing.

272
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,050
I was bloody good in Mindhorn.

273
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:34,487
You'll be even better now.
You've matured like a fine wine.

274
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,823
-A man could get drunk on that wine.
-Great.

275
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,792
So, you go to the Isle of Man,
you take the call...

276
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,160
Sorry. Where?

277
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,362
The Isle of Man.

278
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,164
Uh, no. This isn't gonna work for me.
I do not go backwards.

279
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:48,167
-My career, I move forwards. Like a shark.
-Like a shark, yes.

280
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:51,270
But maybe going backwards
is the new going forwards.

281
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,906
Why don't you hook up with the old gang?

282
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,410
Jeffrey Moncrief has got
his own PR firm now.

283
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,179
Jeffrey Moncrief?
He went off the rails, I'm afraid.

284
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,081
Looks kosher to me.

285
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,917
You need all the publicity
you can get from this.

286
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,854
What about Pat Deville, your old flame?

287
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,222
Works for Manx TV now.

288
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,957
Profile, Richard.

289
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,894
Imagine, TV cop helps real cops
solve crime?

290
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,063
It's PR gold. You'd be a hero.

291
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,365
Do the interviews, get in the newspapers,

292
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:22,235
remind people who you are
and, bang, you're back on the map.

293
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,405
Just play Mindhorn one last time.

294
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,446
Profile.

295
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,208
[line ringing]

296
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,509
[man over phone] Isle of Man constabulary.

297
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,278
I'm in.

298
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,446
Sorry, who is this?

299
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:08,548
[foghorn blowing]

300
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:16,122
[Moncrief over phone] Hello. Moncrief,
Public Relations International Limited.

301
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,024
-Jeff.
-Richie.

302
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,425
Are you here?

303
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:23,062
Yeah, I'm here, two o'clock ferry,
like we said. Where are you?

304
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:25,431
I'm working my butt off here for you,
Richie.

305
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,633
Why don't I see you later
at the police station

306
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,002
once I finish up here at the office?

307
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,971
Sounds good. What about the newspapers?

308
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,408
The Manx Express loves it.
They're sending a photographer

309
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,878
to get some shots of you doing the call
in the police station.

310
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:43,049
Now, we've got to get to Pat at Manx TV
afore she knocks off.

311
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:46,919
You know what, Jeff? I think I might have
time to squeeze that in before the gig.

312
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,288
I bet you have, you devil.

313
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:51,391
-[chuckles]
-Hey, come on.

314
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,992
She's not married

315
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,228
-and you're the thinking woman's crumpet.
-Ha, ha.

316
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:56,529
Bye, Jeff.

317
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,598
Ahoy there!

318
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,203
This is the old stomping ground.
Back in the old wild oats-sowing days.

319
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,272
[Green] Yeah, there's very good soil here,
I think.

320
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,242
[man on TV] Welcome to the Isle of Man.

321
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,543
Isle of adventure.

322
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,644
Isle of romance.

323
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,312
I'll have some of that.

324
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:17,150
-Mr. Thorncroft, DS Baines.
-Enchanté. Call me Richard.

325
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,319
PC Green and I
will be overseeing your stay here.

326
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,488
-Roger that.
-We really appreciate this.

327
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,224
-I know you're a busy man.
-I had to move things around.

328
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,360
But work is work. This is more important.

329
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,228
Let's save some lives.

330
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,198
-This us?
-Yeah, yeah.

331
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:41,441
Thanks.

332
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,445
-You in? Great.
-Yeah, yeah, great.

333
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,116
We believe Melly thought
Mindhorn was real.

334
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,019
[Richard] Yeah, well, three years at RADA
give a man some skills.

335
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:53,953
[Green] Right.

336
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,155
-Are you a fan of the show?
-My mum liked it.

337
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:58,558
Ah... A woman of taste. [chuckles]

338
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,426
-She single?
-She's dead.

339
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,363
This is you.
Uh, we'll give you a knock in 20 minutes.

340
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,466
-Lovely.
-Stay in the room.

341
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,502
-For your safety as much as anything else.
-Sure thing, big guy.

342
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,151
-You gonna be there the whole time?
-Right, yeah.

343
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,118
Yeah, good.

344
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,720
Really good news.

345
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,057
I'm gonna be doing some meditating,
so, um...

346
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,593
-You meditate?
-No.

347
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,162
-Something to think about.
-Thanks, I will.

348
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,430
Sorry about your mum.

349
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,233
Shit.

350
00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,719
Meeting someone.

351
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:01,354
[Pat] I can't believe she let you do that.

352
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:03,122
-Not for the first time.
-[chuckles]

353
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,758
[Pat] Download that footage
and get that sent over straightaway.

354
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,327
-[woman] Hello, Manx Television.
-[Richard] It's an offer or nothing.

355
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:09,762
Just the way I play it, Jeremy.

356
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,032
Bloody hell. I'll call you back.

357
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:14,500
Patricia Deville.

358
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,036
Don't tell me.

359
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,439
-It's gone.
-You're joking, right?

360
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:23,276
We did live together
for over two and a half years, so, um...

361
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,278
-Yeah.
-Ha, ha. We certainly did.

362
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,313
What are you doing here?

363
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,148
Oh, you know, work, meetings.

364
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:32,151
Busy, busy, busy. What about yourself?
What are you doing here?

365
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,520
I'm a journalist now. I work here.

366
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,123
Get out of town. [laughing]

367
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:41,093
That's amazing. Actually, I might
just have a little something for you.

368
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,161
Is it weed killer?

369
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,564
-Hmm?
-You left our house

370
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,834
to get some weed killer 24 years ago.
I haven't seen you since.

371
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,671
-I see what you're doing.
-The weeds are really out of control now.

372
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,674
[chuckles] I did explain my departure
in the letters.

373
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:55,641
The letters?

374
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,411
Yeah. The letters I wrote to you
and that you failed to respond to.

375
00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:00,346
[both laughing]

376
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,482
-Let's not do this, shall we?
-Let's not even go there.

377
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:07,186
I'm only here for a couple of days,
I'm about to launch something fairly big.

378
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,588
-Now, I was thinking--
-Right.

379
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:12,358
You wanna use me for some publicity,
right? You need some profile, is that it?

380
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,394
Way off, Pat. Um,
I can't talk about the details right now,

381
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:18,631
but let's just say it's a fairly
interesting little acting job.

382
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,334
Right.
I thought maybe you'd given up acting.

383
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,236
You didn't catch me on the last season
of Midsomer Murders?

384
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:26,238
That's what made me think
you'd given up.

385
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:27,306
[chuckles]

386
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:28,608
Pow! [chuckles]

387
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,877
Ooh, you got me. Look at this.
Laughing and a-joking like old times.

388
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,546
Gotta run.

389
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:37,717
You'd be very foolish to walk away from
what I'm about to plonk down on the table.

390
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,752
[laughing]
I'm a serious journalist now, Richard.

391
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,521
Well, maybe catching
the psychotic killer Paul Melly

392
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,724
isn't a serious enough story for you.

393
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,265
There's a press gag on that case.
How do you know about it?

394
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:58,337
Why don't we grab a bite
and I'll give you the full exposé.

395
00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,872
You mean exclusive.

396
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,407
Whatever you say.

397
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:03,743
Let's talk later.

398
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:05,478
Let's do that.

399
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,186
Still got it.

400
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,187
[chuckles]

401
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:16,322
Shit.

402
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,427
[thud, then Richard grunts]

403
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:22,828
-[Richard] Shit.
-Where is he?

404
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,263
He said he was meditating.

405
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,235
Went pretty deep.
Uh... Threw in a bit of capoeira.

406
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,270
Right.

407
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,938
[exhales] Let's nail this mother.

408
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:34,306
Sorry.

409
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,443
[Baines]
The suspect's name is Paul Melly.

410
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,681
We think he might be using the island's
extensive mine system to evade capture.

411
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,582
-Mine system? Clever bugger.
-[Baines] Mm.

412
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,451
Do you recognize him, Richard?

413
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,553
[Richard] Oh, my God.

414
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,255
It's my agent.

415
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,190
Only joking. [chuckles]

416
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,759
Could I get an Americano with hot milk?

417
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,797
So, the boy's parents were killed
in a car crash when he was nine.

418
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,733
And, uh, when he was informed,
he was watching an episode of Mindhorn,

419
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,203
so, he has developed
a sort of morbid obsession with the show.

420
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,539
Could have been worse.
Could have been Windjammer.

421
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,241
Yeah. Well, he is calling in 15 minutes,
Richard,

422
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:12,311
and he's calling himself the Kestrel.

423
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:15,614
Now, he might make
some sort of kestrel noises.

424
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,984
Kestrel noises, good.
Look, I've got a couple of friends coming.

425
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,553
I wonder if I could put a list
on reception.

426
00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:21,954
A list at reception?

427
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,723
Yeah, Jeffrey Moncrief plus one.

428
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,925
[Green] Richard,
this is Chief Inspector Derek Newsome.

429
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,593
[Richard] Ah, the head honcho.

430
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,729
El honcherino. The big cheese.

431
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,465
-You look familiar. Did we golf?
-No.

432
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:35,434
I wanted to talk to you
about the press conference.

433
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,436
We could co-host, but I'm camera trained,

434
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,873
and in these things, police can
come across as weird and sweaty-looking.

435
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:44,810
Mr. Thorncroft, you are aware
of the seriousness of the situation?

436
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,847
Bigtime, yes, indeed.
We'll hash out the details of that later.

437
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,949
-Is there a dressing room?
-This is a call.

438
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:53,352
-You know how phones work.
-Don't know if you know how acting works.

439
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,322
-Not really, and I'm not interested.
-We all have our process.

440
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:59,692
Sometimes an item of clothing or footwear
can define a character.

441
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,727
Uh, you have your costume, I have mine.

442
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,696
[Newsome] This isn't a costume.

443
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,466
This is officially sanctioned uniform
denoting rank and civic responsibility.

444
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,770
It's still a kind of costume.
You put it on to play "the chief,"

445
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,439
and then you take it off
when you go home to your wife,

446
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,775
or maybe you don't. [chuckles]

447
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,910
-All the world's a stage.
-No, it isn't.

448
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,678
A young woman has been murdered

449
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:22,648
and we're trying to catch her killer
before he does it again.

450
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,618
-Okay.
-Do you wanna get changed through here?

451
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,054
What's wrong with him?
Lost his truncheon?

452
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,458
-Jeff.
-[Moncrief] Richie.

453
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:35,060
The cops are being bloody stingy
with the door policy.

454
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,396
-Ah, bastards.
-We're gonna have to get

455
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,633
the photographer to take the photos
outside the building looking in.

456
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,636
I'm on the first floor.
I'll favor the windows on the north.

457
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:45,070
North windows. Right, got it.

458
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:46,071
Are you nearly here?

459
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:51,010
Uh, I'm running a tad late, Richie.
I had to tidy up the Glendale account.

460
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:53,445
Uh, will you speed things up there,
Barbara?

461
00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:56,816
You know, it's great to be heading back
to the big time with you, Richie.

462
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:57,750
Wish me luck.

463
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,519
Hey, you are going to be great, Richie.

464
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:01,620
Tits and teeth, eh?

465
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,592
Hello, old friend.

466
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:37,790
-[Baines] Richard.
-Bainesy.

467
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:40,826
When Melly calls, you need
to stay in character at all times.

468
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:42,995
When I go in, I go deep.

469
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,798
Ah, the old two-way mirrors.
I love these things.

470
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:50,069
[Baines] Here's a list of prompts.
If you could stick to script, great.

471
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,471
And avoid any of these,
you know, trigger words.

472
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,575
Insane. Nutjob. Mental.
Blah, blah, blah, usual stuff.

473
00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:58,410
-This the phone?
-That is the phone.

474
00:22:58,477 --> 00:22:59,745
-Great.
-Yeah.

475
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:04,850
Yeah.

476
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:07,553
That's gonna be okay.

477
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:21,800
-If you could just keep it in its cradle.
-Just connecting with the props.

478
00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:26,038
So, when he calls,
keep him on the line, keep him talking...

479
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,673
-Mm-hm.
-...arrange to meet,

480
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:28,874
and we'll take it from there.

481
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:32,811
Here you go, Richard.
I couldn't find any manuka honey.

482
00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:35,447
-Oh. Two teabags, though?
-Yep, like you said.

483
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:37,650
Good.
A little tip I picked up from Sean Bean.

484
00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:40,019
Double-bag Bean, we called him.
The Bean Bag.

485
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:41,620
[chuckles]

486
00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:42,721
[phone ringing]

487
00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:45,491
This is it.

488
00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:47,760
[Richard] Shoes going on.

489
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,131
Shoes on.

490
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:54,099
[ringing continues]

491
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:56,035
Yeah, whenever you're ready, Richard.

492
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:05,210
[pops]

493
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:07,446
[ringing continues]

494
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:08,914
Yeah, whenever you're ready--

495
00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:13,919
Oh, Jesus. Answer it.

496
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:15,187
Fucking clown.

497
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:16,789
Mindhorn makes people wait.

498
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:21,160
When they wait, they become angry.
When angry, they become vulnerable.

499
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:23,529
When they're vulnerable,
they make mistakes.

500
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,631
Yo, what's going down?

501
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:26,865
[dial tone]

502
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,835
Hello? Hello? He's hung up.

503
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,971
You might wanna try 1471.

504
00:24:33,539 --> 00:24:34,673
[phone ringing]

505
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:36,809
Yo, what's going down, Kestrel?

506
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:38,677
[Melly on phone] Do you remember me?

507
00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:40,579
Course I do. What do you want, sir?

508
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,181
I have something for you, Mindhorn.

509
00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,583
That's nice. Is it my birthday?

510
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,618
Yes, yes, he's close,
maybe in a phone box.

511
00:24:46,685 --> 00:24:49,588
Because the only present
I'm interested in is the truth.

512
00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:53,892
And don't bother wrapping it,
because I don't care for pretty packaging.

513
00:24:54,026 --> 00:24:55,728
How do I know this is really you?

514
00:24:56,695 --> 00:25:01,033
How do I know it's really you, Kestrel,
not just some insane, mental nutjob?

515
00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:03,001
Why would you say that?

516
00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:04,970
I'm the Kestrel.

517
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:07,172
[Melly squawking]

518
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,641
More people are going to die.

519
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,710
We're all gonna die, Kestrel.
Get over it.

520
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,979
Some with a bang, some with a whimper.

521
00:25:14,613 --> 00:25:16,582
Some with a weird wasting disease.

522
00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:18,550
[Melly laughing]

523
00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:20,619
Aw. It really is you.

524
00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:23,889
Gold star, Kestrel. Now tell me something
I don't already bloody know.

525
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:26,925
You want to catch Katya's killer,
don't you?

526
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:29,561
Well, get this.

527
00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:35,167
-What's that? Is there anyone else there?
-Negative, sir. Mindhorn works alone.

528
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:39,037
Listen, big guy, why don't we grab some
face-to-face time and sort this baby out?

529
00:25:39,104 --> 00:25:41,607
-Where you calling from?
-No, it's not safe.

530
00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:43,909
The piggies are listening.
You know the quarry?

531
00:25:43,976 --> 00:25:45,144
-Course I know.
-Good.

532
00:25:45,811 --> 00:25:47,746
-I'll meet you outside.
-See you there.

533
00:25:47,813 --> 00:25:49,615
-Come alone.
-I always do.

534
00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:51,784
-Which quarry?
-No idea. You get a trace?

535
00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:53,752
-No.
-What kind of an outfit is this?

536
00:25:53,819 --> 00:25:55,587
That is a rookie mistake.

537
00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:56,922
Hey.

538
00:25:57,222 --> 00:26:00,159
You were meant to keep him on the line.

539
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,194
That's not the way
the scene played there.

540
00:26:02,261 --> 00:26:03,896
There's the quarry at Vazon Edge.

541
00:26:03,962 --> 00:26:06,098
That's where we used to do
all our car chases.

542
00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:08,667
That's where he'll be. Go get him, team.

543
00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:10,569
Prick.

544
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:12,304
[Richard] Oh, dear.

545
00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:14,206
Someone's not a happy bunny.

546
00:26:14,873 --> 00:26:18,744
I remember him now. It was his wife I used
to play golf with. If you catch my drift.

547
00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:20,045
[laughing]

548
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:21,613
Hole in one.

549
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,048
Didn't think he knew.

550
00:26:23,348 --> 00:26:24,216
Uh--

551
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:26,718
Why do you think
Melly said outside the quarry?

552
00:26:26,785 --> 00:26:27,953
-[cell phone beeps]
-Hmm?

553
00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:31,590
[Green] Do you think quarry meant
something different on Mindhorn?

554
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:34,626
A quarry's a quarry, Green.
I wouldn't overthink these things.

555
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,862
Just gonna go and drain the python.

556
00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:39,832
Then we can have a natter
about the press conference.

557
00:26:40,332 --> 00:26:41,800
[police sirens wailing]

558
00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:44,770
[man] ETA to Vazon Edge quarry
four minutes.

559
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:56,982
All cars, all cars, the quarry is
the police station. Melly is here. Over.

560
00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:58,784
[man] Roger that. Diverting.

561
00:26:59,818 --> 00:27:01,987
Turn around. Do it now!

562
00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:03,856
[woman] What are you doing?

563
00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:06,658
[man] Move the fucking van, you prick!

564
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:08,193
Richard.

565
00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:22,908
Thorncroft's gone.
I repeat, I've lost eyes on Thorncroft.

566
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,844
Thorncroft has gone. Shit.

567
00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:28,247
You got the action shots
through the window.

568
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:31,016
-Why don't we get something more dramatic?
-Good plan.

569
00:27:31,783 --> 00:27:35,220
[Green] Thorncroft may be in danger.
The suspect was outside the station.

570
00:27:35,888 --> 00:27:37,256
Might be a great backdrop.

571
00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:40,025
I'll be here.
Obviously, I'll pull this in on the day.

572
00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:41,126
Good to go.

573
00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:44,796
Your face has... fallen down.
It's all baggy.

574
00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:48,367
Yeah, do you mind? Uh, we all age.
Use some backlight, soften the focus.

575
00:27:48,433 --> 00:27:50,369
I'm not gonna tell you your job. Jesus.

576
00:27:51,203 --> 00:27:53,272
-Jeff?
-[Moncrief] Richie, where are you?

577
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:56,375
I'm with the photographer,
and he's a bit weird. Where are you?

578
00:27:56,441 --> 00:27:59,077
I'm with the photographer.
Outside the station.

579
00:27:59,144 --> 00:28:01,146
Hey, you must have made
quite an impression.

580
00:28:01,213 --> 00:28:04,182
There's police running about
like headless chickens.

581
00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:06,151
[squawking]

582
00:28:06,752 --> 00:28:09,354
Are you celebrating already. Richie?

583
00:28:10,756 --> 00:28:13,258
Clever Mindhorn.

584
00:28:13,926 --> 00:28:14,793
It's time.

585
00:28:16,962 --> 00:28:20,933
Time for the apocalypse of justice.

586
00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:25,003
[shouting]

587
00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:28,340
[thud, then Richard grunts]

588
00:28:28,407 --> 00:28:30,208
[Richard groaning]

589
00:28:40,285 --> 00:28:41,320
Mindhorn.

590
00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:43,222
Please, no.

591
00:28:43,822 --> 00:28:45,123
Look into my eyes.

592
00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:50,062
-Can you see the truth?
-Yeah.

593
00:28:50,128 --> 00:28:53,298
Did you receive the evidence
I sent to your house?

594
00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:56,001
-Yes, definitely.
-You did?

595
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:57,803
Then you know I'm innocent!

596
00:28:57,869 --> 00:28:59,304
-Are you on the case?
-Yes.

597
00:28:59,371 --> 00:29:00,239
-Yeah?
-Yes, sir.

598
00:29:00,305 --> 00:29:01,306
Yeah. Yeah!

599
00:29:01,373 --> 00:29:02,407
[screaming]

600
00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:10,115
It's pretend, see?

601
00:29:10,182 --> 00:29:12,517
Melly, step away from the actor!

602
00:29:12,784 --> 00:29:15,120
-[Baines] Stay down, Richard!
-See you at the wheel, Mindhorn.

603
00:29:16,488 --> 00:29:18,390
Shoot him. Shoot him in the head!

604
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:20,459
[taser buzzing, Melly grunting]

605
00:29:26,131 --> 00:29:27,032
[thud]

606
00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:34,306
My next guest is a celebrated actor
and now an award-winning writer.

607
00:29:34,373 --> 00:29:35,240
[audience applauds]

608
00:29:35,307 --> 00:29:37,175
Richard Thorncroft,
welcome to the show.

609
00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:39,011
Hello.

610
00:29:39,511 --> 00:29:43,315
So, you finished your book,
which is not only deeply entertaining,

611
00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:46,952
it is also the first actor's autobiography
to be nominated for a Booker Prize.

612
00:29:47,019 --> 00:29:48,186
[audience cheering]

613
00:29:48,253 --> 00:29:51,390
You've embarked on a new production
of Hamlet with Kenneth Branagh.

614
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:52,824
All after becoming a hero

615
00:29:52,891 --> 00:29:55,861
by making this island safe
for vulnerable women like myself.

616
00:29:55,927 --> 00:29:57,396
-You're welcome.
-Thank you.

617
00:29:57,462 --> 00:29:58,463
[audience applauding]

618
00:29:58,530 --> 00:30:01,533
After the shock of the accident,
all your hair grew back.

619
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,003
Yes, it's a medical phenomenon
known as follicle neogenesis.

620
00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:09,207
And conversely, when I heard
about the accident, all my hair fell out.

621
00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:12,544
Thanks, Ken, but we're talking
about Richard at the moment.

622
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,413
Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Rich.

623
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:15,347
No probs, Ken.

624
00:30:16,114 --> 00:30:16,982
[Kenneth] Okay.

625
00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:18,583
May I?

626
00:30:18,850 --> 00:30:20,485
-[crowd] Ooh...
-Fill your boots.

627
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,322
Mm. That's it.

628
00:30:23,388 --> 00:30:24,256
[audience whistling and cheering]

629
00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:25,457
Don't be afraid.

630
00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:31,430
With that audition, he changed the way
that people think about making art.

631
00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,533
Politically,
I think he's become very important.

632
00:30:34,599 --> 00:30:36,268
For me, there is no one else.

633
00:30:37,102 --> 00:30:39,171
-Like Mandela,
-Richard.

634
00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:41,606
Ben Kingsley,
and then there is Richard.

635
00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:42,541
Richard...

636
00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:46,978
[in deep voice] I am going to give you
the best Manx Day you've ever had.

637
00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:48,046
[shouts]

638
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:53,118
Of course, the parade is at the heart
of Manx Day, always has been,

639
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:54,886
always will be, but this...

640
00:30:57,889 --> 00:30:59,424
[EKG beeping]

641
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:06,998
-Richie, baby.
-Jeffrey Moncrief.

642
00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:08,934
-Good to see you.
-[laughing]

643
00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:13,071
Look at you.
The years have treated you well.

644
00:31:13,138 --> 00:31:14,005
You, too.

645
00:31:14,072 --> 00:31:16,074
Ah. Don't lie. I'm a fucking wreck.

646
00:31:16,174 --> 00:31:17,509
-But who cares, eh?
-That's right.

647
00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:20,379
You did it. They got him. You're a hero.

648
00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:23,081
I don't think you can smoke
in hospitals, Jeff.

649
00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:24,049
Since when?

650
00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:25,250
Since the '50s?

651
00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:28,653
-Oh, right. How did it go with Pat?
-Ha, ha. Oh, very well, actually, yeah.

652
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,556
-I think we might just be in there.
-I bet you are.

653
00:31:31,623 --> 00:31:33,525
-Str-- Strictly business.
-Oh!

654
00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:36,528
Good, 'cause when your heroics
hit the front page,

655
00:31:36,595 --> 00:31:38,663
you'll have minge coming out your arse.

656
00:31:39,331 --> 00:31:40,198
Ah, lovely.

657
00:31:40,265 --> 00:31:41,600
You remember these guys?

658
00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:44,403
Nutmeg, the druid detective.

659
00:31:45,003 --> 00:31:48,507
Moonshaft.
He's blind, he's black and he's back.

660
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:49,474
They're out on DVD?

661
00:31:49,541 --> 00:31:52,677
Ten grand apiece they got.
And they were shite.

662
00:31:52,944 --> 00:31:56,214
Mindhorn had a metal eye
that could see the truth.

663
00:31:56,281 --> 00:31:58,984
What did Nutmeg have?
Some fucking joss sticks?

664
00:31:59,217 --> 00:32:00,385
This is interesting, Jeff.

665
00:32:00,485 --> 00:32:03,188
Aye, and Pete thinks so, too.

666
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:06,992
He even wants to release it
through his production company.

667
00:32:07,225 --> 00:32:08,226
Pete Easterman?

668
00:32:08,293 --> 00:32:09,928
The Windjammer himself.

669
00:32:09,995 --> 00:32:11,496
-Ah, mm... This is a bad idea.
-Why?

670
00:32:11,563 --> 00:32:14,032
Pete and I have a history.
Things have been said.

671
00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:16,334
No, that's all water under the bridge.

672
00:32:16,968 --> 00:32:19,638
Pete insisted you come to his country club
this evening.

673
00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:21,473
He wants to make it happen.

674
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:24,943
Mindhorn series one to three on DVD.

675
00:32:25,210 --> 00:32:28,079
How do you like those apples?

676
00:32:28,213 --> 00:32:30,115
This is actually a bloody good idea.

677
00:32:30,182 --> 00:32:31,616
[chuckles] I told you.

678
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:35,253
Lovely. Seven o'clock, Jammers Club.

679
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,189
Lock up your pussy!

680
00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:40,058
-The Wolf Pack is back on the prowl.
-[laughing]

681
00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:42,060
-It's a hospital, Jeff.
-Aye?

682
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:43,161
Keep it down a little bit.

683
00:32:43,228 --> 00:32:44,996
Flange ahoy, Richie.

684
00:32:45,263 --> 00:32:46,531
Flange ahoy.

685
00:32:46,598 --> 00:32:47,466
Yes indeed.

686
00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,436
[Pat on TV]
More on that unfolding tragedy later.

687
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:55,373
Why does the Manx cat have no tail?

688
00:32:56,074 --> 00:32:59,511
Some say they swam ashore
during a shipwreck in the 16th century.

689
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,746
Others say it's a genetic mutation...

690
00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:07,085
Chekhov?

691
00:33:08,253 --> 00:33:09,120
Chekhov?

692
00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:11,189
[cell phone ringing]

693
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:15,327
-Hello?
-Hello, you.

694
00:33:16,394 --> 00:33:17,762
-Hello, Richard.
-Hello.

695
00:33:18,029 --> 00:33:20,265
So, you're still at the Heights.

696
00:33:21,199 --> 00:33:22,434
Yes, that's a good guess.

697
00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:25,403
So, I hear they caught Melly.

698
00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:27,072
Yeah. I put him out of action.

699
00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:29,574
That lunatic won't be troubling the women
no more.

700
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:30,575
[Pat] Quite a story.

701
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:31,710
[Richard] I like to think so.

702
00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:35,080
Richard Thorncroft does something
for somebody else.

703
00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:37,015
Pow. I walked into that.

704
00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:39,017
Where are you at the moment?

705
00:33:39,084 --> 00:33:40,519
Oh, I'm staying at the Grand.

706
00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:43,188
Well, that's where they've put me up,
anyway, you know. Uh...

707
00:33:43,755 --> 00:33:44,723
For my sins.

708
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:48,126
It's nice, you know, a little, uh, suite.

709
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:49,561
One of those little suites.

710
00:33:50,262 --> 00:33:51,129
Oh!

711
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,032
Sorry. Just slipped on a breakfast tray.

712
00:33:54,099 --> 00:33:55,500
[chuckles] Bloody room service.

713
00:33:56,434 --> 00:34:00,472
Yeah, I mean, who'd have thought, hey,
you and I would have ended up drifting

714
00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:02,741
like two lonely boats on the sea of life?

715
00:34:04,576 --> 00:34:07,746
Just two boats who crossed once before

716
00:34:07,812 --> 00:34:10,348
and are now crossing again
on the return charter,

717
00:34:10,815 --> 00:34:14,085
looking for that safe harbor,
that magical other person,

718
00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:17,322
and sometimes that other person
can be staring you right in the face

719
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,491
-and you never even realized it.
-Hey, Richie.

720
00:34:21,826 --> 00:34:24,362
-Clive.
-Wow. [chuckling]

721
00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:25,297
Clive.

722
00:34:25,363 --> 00:34:27,432
-It's good to see you.
-So good to see you.

723
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:29,701
What are you doing in my garden, man?

724
00:34:29,768 --> 00:34:31,469
What are you doing in the garden?

725
00:34:31,536 --> 00:34:33,071
-Well, I live here.
-Yeah.

726
00:34:33,138 --> 00:34:35,073
What? What, in the garden?

727
00:34:35,140 --> 00:34:38,109
-No, silly. I live here with Pat.
-[chuckles]

728
00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:41,112
We've been together
for many, many years now since you left.

729
00:34:41,179 --> 00:34:42,447
-You know that, right?
-Yeah.

730
00:34:42,614 --> 00:34:45,584
-Yeah. Yes, I do. That's old news. Joke.
-You're joking with me.

731
00:34:45,650 --> 00:34:49,421
Oh, wow.
So, what are you doing in the garden?

732
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:50,755
Yeah.

733
00:34:51,723 --> 00:34:55,293
Just, uh, coming to get some fan mail.
I popped round to get fan mail.

734
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,562
-We get that.
-Yeah, so I thought I'd swing by--

735
00:34:57,629 --> 00:34:59,097
So, what's with the flowers?

736
00:34:59,564 --> 00:35:02,200
-I've got a funeral later to do, so...
-That's sad.

737
00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:04,302
-I guess you're at that age now.
-Yeah, sad.

738
00:35:04,369 --> 00:35:06,538
-Anyone I know?
-John Nettles.

739
00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:09,207
-John Nettles? I know John really well.
-Yeah, not--

740
00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:12,344
-No. Not that John Nettles. Another one.
-Okay. That's a relief.

741
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,412
-Yep.
-Come in. My God, come in.

742
00:35:14,479 --> 00:35:16,481
-Pat's gonna love to see you.
-Yeah.

743
00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:17,716
Everyone wants to see you.

744
00:35:17,782 --> 00:35:19,484
-It's very nice of you.
-Come on in.

745
00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:20,819
-Everyone?
-Yeah.

746
00:35:20,885 --> 00:35:24,389
-Can I have the keys to the Range Rover?
-Hey, Jasmine, look who it is.

747
00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:25,824
-Hi.
-It's Mindhorn.

748
00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:27,726
[Richard] Hello.

749
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,395
I used to be this guy's stunt man.
Can you believe it?

750
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:32,130
Look at him now. Look at this.

751
00:35:32,330 --> 00:35:33,598
What is this you have here?

752
00:35:33,665 --> 00:35:37,302
-Well, that's called living the high life.
-Yeah? Too many biscuits?

753
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:40,205
-Champagne, you know. Other stuff...
-Too many garibaldis.

754
00:35:40,271 --> 00:35:41,806
Steak and rich cheese.

755
00:35:41,873 --> 00:35:44,743
At least he covers himself up.
Can you put some trousers on?

756
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:48,446
She's joking. She's very funny.
She has her mother's tongue, you know?

757
00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:51,583
Richard Thorncroft?

758
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,485
[Clive] Yeah, look at him. There he is.

759
00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:56,454
-Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.
-Oh. All of it good, I hope?

760
00:35:57,255 --> 00:35:59,324
[Clive] Oh! Watch out.

761
00:35:59,391 --> 00:36:00,258
[both laughing]

762
00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:05,730
This guy, okay, this guy used to make me
tell everybody he did his own stunts.

763
00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:08,867
-Well, I did a few of my own stunts.
-No, no, you naughty liar.

764
00:36:08,933 --> 00:36:10,568
-That's not lying.
-You never did.

765
00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:12,837
-You never did any, you naughty boy.
-I did some.

766
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:15,173
-No. He couldn't even drive a car.
-Come on.

767
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:16,408
[Richard] But now I have passed.

768
00:36:16,474 --> 00:36:20,311
Well, I'd love to stay here and watch you
two verbally sparring, but I have to go.

769
00:36:20,378 --> 00:36:21,379
Mum, are you ready?

770
00:36:22,614 --> 00:36:25,383
Hey, Pat, look what I found
in the garden.

771
00:36:25,483 --> 00:36:27,385
It's a Richard Thorncroft tree.

772
00:36:27,452 --> 00:36:29,854
I cut him down
and brought him in the house.

773
00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:31,222
[Richard & Clive laughing]

774
00:36:31,289 --> 00:36:32,590
-Richard.
-[Richard] Hello.

775
00:36:32,657 --> 00:36:34,926
What are you doing?
You said you were at the Grand.

776
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:37,595
Oh, I can answer that.
He's, uh, come for some fan mail.

777
00:36:37,662 --> 00:36:40,598
You're getting your fan mail?
Oh. I'm really touched.

778
00:36:40,665 --> 00:36:43,601
Yeah, there's some in the garage.
I'll go and fetch it for you.

779
00:36:44,669 --> 00:36:47,972
Oh! Don't go getting back together.
I'm kidding. Look at him.

780
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:49,874
-He's so fat now. He's a mess.
-[chuckles]

781
00:36:49,941 --> 00:36:51,643
[Richard] Oh, he's great.

782
00:36:52,977 --> 00:36:53,978
Um...

783
00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:56,981
Clive.

784
00:36:57,649 --> 00:36:58,516
Clive.

785
00:36:59,284 --> 00:37:00,685
Clive. Mm.

786
00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:02,754
-You wanna talk about Clive?
-I don't.

787
00:37:02,821 --> 00:37:05,824
No, no. I mean, obviously,
he's a great bloke, lovely bloke.

788
00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:07,325
Uh... Great choice.

789
00:37:07,392 --> 00:37:09,494
Look, I think, uh, I might scoot.

790
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:12,530
-And we should do that interview, though.
-Sure.

791
00:37:12,597 --> 00:37:15,233
Why don't you, um, pop round to Manx TV
tomorrow?

792
00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:16,935
Okay.

793
00:37:21,940 --> 00:37:23,842
-See you.
-You're going the wrong way.

794
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:24,776
Yeah.

795
00:37:26,878 --> 00:37:27,912
[Clive] Oh, hey, Richie.

796
00:37:27,979 --> 00:37:30,381
I wanna show you something.
You're gonna like it.

797
00:37:30,448 --> 00:37:33,718
-[Richard] I've gotta get to this funeral.
-No. Hey, look at this. Huh?

798
00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:38,356
-Memories, huh?
-Yes, sir.

799
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:41,860
You know, when I found her, she was
on the scrap heap. Can you believe that?

800
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,695
She was pretty busted up.

801
00:37:44,329 --> 00:37:46,264
One careless owner.

802
00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:49,667
But then I brought her here, fixed her up,

803
00:37:49,734 --> 00:37:52,270
gave her all the love, care,
and attention she needed

804
00:37:52,337 --> 00:37:54,939
and now she goes like a dream.

805
00:37:55,840 --> 00:38:00,712
Take her out for a ride every single day.

806
00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:04,582
And then I fixed up the car.

807
00:38:08,419 --> 00:38:09,687
I was talking about Pat.

808
00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:10,622
Yeah.

809
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:12,690
-Not the car.
-Mm-hm. Got it.

810
00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:14,893
-Double meaning type thing. I was--
-Very good.

811
00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:16,895
-...being funny.
-Yes.

812
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:17,962
But you didn't laugh.

813
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:19,964
No, I'll laugh later.

814
00:38:20,031 --> 00:38:20,932
That's okay.

815
00:38:20,999 --> 00:38:22,300
[both chuckling]

816
00:38:22,367 --> 00:38:25,403
-Well, thank you for the joke.
-No, no, come get your fan mail.

817
00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:27,772
-It's just through here. Come on.
-Right.

818
00:38:28,006 --> 00:38:30,375
-Yeah, step into my office.
-Okay.

819
00:38:30,441 --> 00:38:33,912
Uh, wow. I didn't realize the show
was so popular. You get so many letters.

820
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,714
Yeah, over the years
it's acquired a certain cachet.

821
00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:39,818
[groans]

822
00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:41,786
Ah.

823
00:38:44,355 --> 00:38:45,924
You want me to call a man with a van?

824
00:38:46,591 --> 00:38:48,326
-Very-- Very witty.
-Yeah.

825
00:38:48,393 --> 00:38:49,761
-Yeah.
-I did two jokes.

826
00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:51,596
One over there and then one just now.

827
00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:54,566
-I see you're very proud of yourself.
-A little bit.

828
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:55,667
You know what you are?

829
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,636
You are my stuntman.
That's all you'll ever be.

830
00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:01,639
-Yeah, it's my job, though, so...
-What, to be my stand-in?

831
00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:04,108
I'm a stand-in when people
can't do things physically.

832
00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:05,877
That's when they call me. You know?

833
00:39:05,944 --> 00:39:07,912
I'm at the top of my physical game, sir.

834
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,515
You're hiding it really well these days.

835
00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:12,584
Yeah? Don't make me release the Ginga.

836
00:39:12,650 --> 00:39:15,486
Ginga? You're going to play
giant wooden blocks with me?

837
00:39:15,553 --> 00:39:17,689
Ginga, not Jenga. It's a capoeira term.

838
00:39:17,755 --> 00:39:18,857
It could get messy, sir.

839
00:39:19,891 --> 00:39:22,527
Enjoy reading the fan mail.
Don't read it all at once.

840
00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:26,631
You forgot your flowers.

841
00:39:28,833 --> 00:39:29,934
Oh, sweet.

842
00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:34,472
Hey, baby, I got you some flowers.

843
00:39:35,506 --> 00:39:38,009
-Thanks.
-Yeah, you know, just to say good luck

844
00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:40,678
-with the golf and--
-"It's time to get some pussy"?

845
00:39:44,482 --> 00:39:46,818
Well... it's been a while.

846
00:39:47,819 --> 00:39:50,488
-I'm gonna play golf.
-I'm gonna do some gardening.

847
00:39:54,993 --> 00:39:56,594
-It's nice.
-Don't.

848
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:02,800
[Moncrief] Do you fancy a toot?

849
00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:05,870
I'm gonna say no to that, Jeff,
actually, in public especially

850
00:40:05,937 --> 00:40:08,907
because, uh, I had to give that up
due to adverse chemical reactions.

851
00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:11,709
-[shouts] Let's make some fucking deals.
-Yes, let's do that.

852
00:40:11,776 --> 00:40:14,012
Listen, I might take a lead
when we get in there.

853
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,447
Do the talking.
You could perhaps hang back.

854
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:18,182
-I'm not going in.
-You're not going in?

855
00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:21,419
-No, I'm barred.
-You didn't mention that either.

856
00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:22,887
-It's a long story.
-Okay, Jeff.

857
00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:24,656
-I'll see you after.
-See you later.

858
00:40:24,722 --> 00:40:26,491
-Still got some stuff--
-Right. Ahem.

859
00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:30,461
[woman] Hello, sir.

860
00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:31,796
[jazz music playing over speakers]

861
00:40:37,702 --> 00:40:38,603
-[man 1] You like--?
-[man 2] Yes...

862
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,674
[chuckles] What a twat.

863
00:40:44,709 --> 00:40:46,444
Richard Horncroft.

864
00:40:47,712 --> 00:40:48,913
The beast-man.

865
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,950
Be careful, ladies.
This guy is a real live wire.

866
00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:53,851
-Dangerous to know.
-[chuckles]

867
00:40:54,052 --> 00:40:55,086
[mimics shooting bow and arrow]

868
00:40:55,153 --> 00:40:56,020
-Twang!
-Oof!

869
00:40:57,588 --> 00:40:58,523
Hmm!

870
00:40:58,756 --> 00:41:00,124
-[Richard chuckles]
-Ah.

871
00:41:00,525 --> 00:41:02,493
What you been doing?
Where you been hiding?

872
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,162
Inside a busy schedule.

873
00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:06,698
-Really?
-Mm. Ha, ha.

874
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:09,534
-How am I looking?
-You're looking good.

875
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:10,601
Yeah, I know.

876
00:41:10,668 --> 00:41:14,639
So, a little dick bird tells me you've got
an idea floating around in the old bonsai.

877
00:41:14,706 --> 00:41:18,710
Mm, I certainly do. The heat I'm about to
generate off the back of the police thing

878
00:41:18,776 --> 00:41:22,647
I think could be funneled through
into a DVD release.

879
00:41:22,714 --> 00:41:24,949
-That's where you come in.
-That's a sweet angle.

880
00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:28,152
I think so, too. So, what do you think?
Are we in business on this?

881
00:41:32,790 --> 00:41:34,792
I say yeah, let's do it, let's sign.

882
00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:36,694
All right.

883
00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:37,996
[laughing]

884
00:41:38,529 --> 00:41:39,197
[Peter] Thanks, Coco.

885
00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:42,900
Pete, I like the way you do business.

886
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:46,004
We're heading back to the big time.

887
00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:47,505
[Richard] There you are.

888
00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:50,942
Before we, uh, seal this puppy

889
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,011
is there anything else
you wanna run by me?

890
00:41:53,611 --> 00:41:55,213
No. I think we're good to go, yeah?

891
00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,651
I mean, nothing
that you might have said, uh, publicly?

892
00:42:01,953 --> 00:42:02,820
[chuckles]

893
00:42:02,887 --> 00:42:04,689
You called me a stinking ham, on Wogan,

894
00:42:04,756 --> 00:42:07,258
with the emotional range of a chair leg.

895
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:08,526
[chuckles]

896
00:42:08,626 --> 00:42:09,727
Did I say that?

897
00:42:09,794 --> 00:42:12,997
Gotta say, you've got brass balls
coming in here. I'll give you that.

898
00:42:14,032 --> 00:42:17,635
Okay, look, I just wanted to come here
with an opportunity,

899
00:42:17,869 --> 00:42:21,005
-something for you to get involved in.
-In your pathetic career?

900
00:42:21,639 --> 00:42:22,673
You've gone too far.

901
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,909
I've got plenty of offers
all over this island.

902
00:42:24,976 --> 00:42:28,813
-I don't need to go to you.
-I'm sure you're inundated with requests

903
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,849
for the greatest actor of his generation.
Behold...

904
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:35,186
When you're the head
of a busy multinational corporation,

905
00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:37,188
you don't have time to exercise.

906
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:40,291
But with Tumpers,
the man girdle system for men,

907
00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:42,960
you don't have to waste time
on your waistline.

908
00:42:43,027 --> 00:42:45,263
Tumpers man girdle tightens the waist,

909
00:42:45,329 --> 00:42:48,566
removing unsightly side, back,
and tummy bulge.

910
00:42:48,633 --> 00:42:50,201
[all laughing]

911
00:42:50,301 --> 00:42:52,570
-Yeah? Something funny?
-[Peter] You're finished.

912
00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:54,972
You fucked off to Hollywood 25 years ago

913
00:42:55,039 --> 00:42:58,943
'cause some L.A. windbag said
you were gonna be the next Burt Reynolds.

914
00:42:59,644 --> 00:43:02,580
Ehh. You gambled and you lost.
You lost at life.

915
00:43:05,049 --> 00:43:07,351
-You're living in a dream world.
-[Richard] In a dream world?

916
00:43:07,618 --> 00:43:09,887
Sorry, that's funny,
because this is a dream world.

917
00:43:09,954 --> 00:43:12,090
You're living in a plastic palace.

918
00:43:12,156 --> 00:43:14,125
None of this is real. This is not real.

919
00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:16,227
That's real, but this is not real.

920
00:43:16,294 --> 00:43:20,631
It's full of sycophants and prostitutes.

921
00:43:20,698 --> 00:43:21,732
[women gasp]

922
00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:22,867
You're a joke, Richard.

923
00:43:26,971 --> 00:43:30,041
Pat never charged me.
That one was on the house.

924
00:43:33,344 --> 00:43:34,378
[shouting and grunting]

925
00:43:34,645 --> 00:43:35,713
[woman screams]

926
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:37,381
[Richard] Shit! Sorry.

927
00:43:37,648 --> 00:43:40,818
-Sorry. I was not aiming for you.
-Someone get Richard a skinny green.

928
00:43:40,885 --> 00:43:42,753
-[man 1] She all right?
-Shove it up your ass.

929
00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:43,988
[man 2] Somebody call the police.

930
00:43:45,022 --> 00:43:46,023
[Richard] Get that cocaine.

931
00:43:46,757 --> 00:43:50,061
And he's made one of the biggest mistakes
of his professional career.

932
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:53,331
[Moncrief] That's right.
That's it, Richie. Get it down you.

933
00:43:54,699 --> 00:43:55,633
I love you.

934
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,202
[both laughing]

935
00:43:59,370 --> 00:44:01,139
Do you remember this?

936
00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:09,380
And action!

937
00:44:10,948 --> 00:44:12,984
Mindhorn is back.

938
00:44:13,050 --> 00:44:14,886
[rock music playing over speakers]

939
00:44:16,420 --> 00:44:18,689
[whooping]

940
00:44:20,892 --> 00:44:25,096
Up yours! This island is a shithole!

941
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,302
[groaning]

942
00:44:34,839 --> 00:44:35,873
Ah.

943
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:37,942
That was a classic night, Jeff.

944
00:44:39,243 --> 00:44:40,678
[groans]

945
00:44:44,715 --> 00:44:47,084
Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?

946
00:44:47,752 --> 00:44:48,452
Oh, shit.

947
00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:53,691
If you ever set foot on this island again,
you're going to jail.

948
00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,460
-Is this about your wife?
-What?

949
00:44:57,061 --> 00:45:00,865
We've never forgotten what you said
about the Isle of Man on Wogan.

950
00:45:01,332 --> 00:45:04,735
You said that we had a limited gene pool.

951
00:45:04,969 --> 00:45:06,304
Well, you do.

952
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,440
And you have nothing on me because...

953
00:45:11,409 --> 00:45:12,910
You're joking, aren't you?

954
00:45:13,811 --> 00:45:17,448
I could bang you up
just for the vandalism alone.

955
00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:18,950
Yes.

956
00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:21,319
What vandalism?

957
00:45:22,119 --> 00:45:25,122
On this side we have a penis here,
as you can see, the scrotum.

958
00:45:25,323 --> 00:45:26,991
In Holland we call this the acorn.

959
00:45:27,358 --> 00:45:30,428
Got breasts here,
phallus, this time with the sputum.

960
00:45:30,494 --> 00:45:33,264
I don't know what this is.

961
00:45:33,931 --> 00:45:35,366
-That's an anus.
-No.

962
00:45:35,933 --> 00:45:37,935
-I think it's a titty.
-[Baines] All right, Richard.

963
00:45:38,002 --> 00:45:40,371
You just wait here and I will get the car.

964
00:45:40,438 --> 00:45:42,139
-Okay.
-[Clive] Oh, hey, Rich.

965
00:45:42,340 --> 00:45:45,810
Hey, settle an argument.
What is this here? Is it an anus?

966
00:45:46,277 --> 00:45:49,046
I don't know what that is.
It's got nothing to do with me.

967
00:45:49,113 --> 00:45:50,247
You signed it, you moron.

968
00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:52,850
Well, I can speak English.

969
00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:56,020
Now he's racist, so write this down.
Racist.

970
00:46:00,291 --> 00:46:02,360
You know,
I nearly believed you for a minute.

971
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:06,130
Look, I came here to help the police
and just things... went a bit wrong.

972
00:46:06,197 --> 00:46:08,499
You came back
to get some publicity from the murder.

973
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:12,003
-That's not why I came back.
-Stop lying to yourself, Richard.

974
00:46:12,370 --> 00:46:15,239
And you're not lying to yourself?
Serious journalism?

975
00:46:16,007 --> 00:46:19,410
Manx cats with no tails?
Pat, you used to be an artist.

976
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:21,879
I was a piece of totty in a shit TV show.

977
00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:24,415
Mindhorn was not a shit TV show.

978
00:46:30,154 --> 00:46:31,022
Hey, Richie.

979
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:33,991
You keep leaving things at the house.

980
00:46:34,492 --> 00:46:37,928
Your jacket, Pat, your dignity.
[chuckles]

981
00:46:37,995 --> 00:46:39,296
You think you've got it all,
don't you, Clive?

982
00:46:39,363 --> 00:46:42,333
You've got it all sewn up.
What you've got is a domestic prison.

983
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:43,567
Better than a real prison.

984
00:46:43,834 --> 00:46:45,870
You've got your little wife,
little daughter.

985
00:46:45,936 --> 00:46:47,271
I've got freedom on my side.

986
00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:48,973
-I go where the wind takes me.
-Jasmine isn't mine.

987
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:50,441
-What?
-Jasmine isn't mine.

988
00:46:50,508 --> 00:46:53,110
-Pat never told you?
-Pat didn't tell me what?

989
00:46:53,844 --> 00:46:55,413
-[chuckles]
-What about Jasmine?

990
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:56,347
[Baines] Richard!

991
00:46:56,414 --> 00:46:57,348
[car horn honks]

992
00:46:58,282 --> 00:47:00,551
[Clive] Yeah, bye, Richard.
Nice to see you.

993
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:04,055
-He's a very confused man.
-Yeah, tell me about it.

994
00:47:04,121 --> 00:47:05,589
He didn't even know about Jasmine.

995
00:47:06,123 --> 00:47:08,092
-Your daughter?
-No, she's not my daughter.

996
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,427
I've had the, uh, snip.

997
00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:12,963
No, she's, uh...
Peter Easterman's daughter.

998
00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,900
-You had the snip, Green?
-No.

999
00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:17,368
Something to think about.

1000
00:47:26,477 --> 00:47:27,545
[EKG beeping]

1001
00:47:37,888 --> 00:47:39,490
[Richard] Well, we got our man.

1002
00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:41,892
Hopefully that makes up for
the graffiti, and, uh...

1003
00:47:41,959 --> 00:47:44,628
Well, who knows,
maybe under different circumstances--

1004
00:47:44,895 --> 00:47:45,963
[Baines] Yeah, thanks, bye.

1005
00:47:54,939 --> 00:47:56,240
[Sarah on recording] Richard, hi.

1006
00:47:56,307 --> 00:47:59,276
I think you're going through
another transitional phase.

1007
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:02,379
From unemployed actor
to unemployable actor.

1008
00:48:02,446 --> 00:48:03,914
I'm gonna have to let you go.

1009
00:48:03,981 --> 00:48:05,649
I've left your head shots in reception.

1010
00:48:05,916 --> 00:48:07,485
When you collect them, don't come up.

1011
00:48:14,592 --> 00:48:16,894
-[man] Are you finished?
-Hmm?

1012
00:48:16,994 --> 00:48:18,462
-The newspaper?
-Oh, yeah.

1013
00:48:32,009 --> 00:48:36,213
[woman on pa] Would foot passengers
awaiting the 2:15 departure to Liverpool

1014
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,183
now kindly make their way
to the ferry terminal.

1015
00:48:52,196 --> 00:48:55,699
[Melly] Clue number one.
The killer is a secret baldie.

1016
00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:08,145
Clue number two.
A videotape of the actual killing.

1017
00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:20,090
[Pat on TV]
Breaking news at the Laxey Wheel.

1018
00:49:20,324 --> 00:49:23,527
Suspected murderer Paul Melly
has escaped from Greenborough Hospital

1019
00:49:23,594 --> 00:49:25,296
and taken himself hostage.

1020
00:49:25,362 --> 00:49:27,364
The public are warned
not to approach Melly,

1021
00:49:27,431 --> 00:49:29,233
as he is both armed and dangerous.

1022
00:49:29,533 --> 00:49:30,734
Get me Mindhorn!

1023
00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:33,971
[Moncrief] Mindhorn's coming back.

1024
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:37,208
-Jeff.
-Hey, Richie.

1025
00:49:37,274 --> 00:49:39,476
-What happened to you last night?
-Play this.

1026
00:49:39,543 --> 00:49:41,545
-Oh, right.
-Melly sent it to me.

1027
00:49:41,712 --> 00:49:43,681
Well, he sent it to Mindhorn.

1028
00:49:45,082 --> 00:49:48,285
Hello, Mindhorn.
Kestrel here, reporting for duty.

1029
00:49:48,352 --> 00:49:51,989
This is going to be
an apocalypse of justice

1030
00:49:52,056 --> 00:49:55,326
for the bald man who really did
do the murder of Miss Lipinskii.

1031
00:49:55,392 --> 00:49:59,063
He-- He pushed her
and he strangled her.

1032
00:49:59,129 --> 00:50:00,664
[Katya screams on tape]

1033
00:50:00,731 --> 00:50:03,000
And another man helped him
with the body.

1034
00:50:03,067 --> 00:50:04,001
[Richard] Who is that?

1035
00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:07,304
They didn't catch me, though,
because I hid in the bushes.

1036
00:50:09,039 --> 00:50:13,410
He had these posh shoes,
posh shoes with cats on them.

1037
00:50:14,111 --> 00:50:15,546
All right, see you soon, Mindhorn.

1038
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:20,284
Melly's innocent. He's innocent.

1039
00:50:20,684 --> 00:50:23,153
-Give me the tape.
-Why? What you gonna do with it?

1040
00:50:23,220 --> 00:50:26,490
I'm gonna take it to the chief,
shove it up his ass and press play.

1041
00:50:27,157 --> 00:50:29,660
No, no, no. I've got a better idea.

1042
00:50:29,727 --> 00:50:33,063
The man on this tape
might pay some real money for this.

1043
00:50:33,697 --> 00:50:34,565
What, blackmail?

1044
00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:36,767
-Aye.
-This is low even for you, Jeff.

1045
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:41,105
-Surely things aren't that bad.
-Of course they fucking are.

1046
00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:44,074
Look at me. I live in a caravan.

1047
00:50:44,141 --> 00:50:48,145
-This is your office, Jeff.
-I don't have a fucking office.

1048
00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:51,815
-What about your secretary?
-That is my secretary.

1049
00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:55,319
Twenty-five years I've been here,

1050
00:50:55,786 --> 00:51:00,424
-since you, arsehole, walked out on me.
-There comes a time in an actor's life

1051
00:51:00,658 --> 00:51:03,060
when he has to move away
from the small screen.

1052
00:51:03,127 --> 00:51:06,597
I used to have money.
I used to get your cast-offs.

1053
00:51:06,664 --> 00:51:08,666
I was like a pig in shite!

1054
00:51:09,333 --> 00:51:12,536
And then you waltzed off to the big time.

1055
00:51:12,603 --> 00:51:16,640
-I live in a flat in Walthamstow.
-Oh, he lives in a flat!

1056
00:51:16,707 --> 00:51:20,244
Well, what about me?
I want what is due to me.

1057
00:51:20,311 --> 00:51:23,080
I want a Bentley convertible.

1058
00:51:23,147 --> 00:51:25,382
I want a trophy wife!

1059
00:51:25,849 --> 00:51:31,322
[sobbing]
I want a fucking infinity pool.

1060
00:51:32,856 --> 00:51:34,558
Jeff, it's-- It's okay.

1061
00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:37,261
It's not as bad as you think, okay?

1062
00:51:37,494 --> 00:51:41,165
Things aren't that bad.
There's a silver lining to every cloud.

1063
00:51:41,231 --> 00:51:43,834
Oh, no, you don't, you sneaky bastard.

1064
00:51:44,201 --> 00:51:46,403
Not this time. You owe me.

1065
00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:49,106
We need to take a step back here, Jeff.

1066
00:51:49,573 --> 00:51:52,776
A mentally fragile young man
is calling for my help.

1067
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:56,680
-Yesterday you said he was a retard.
-Maybe I've seen a few things since then.

1068
00:51:56,747 --> 00:51:59,817
-Maybe my eyes have been opened.
-What are you talking about?

1069
00:51:59,883 --> 00:52:00,784
I'm a father, Jeff.

1070
00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,754
I've sired a daughter, with Pat.

1071
00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:05,356
What, Jasmine?

1072
00:52:06,390 --> 00:52:07,624
You idiot.

1073
00:52:07,691 --> 00:52:11,729
She could have been anyone's
the way Pat put it about after you left.

1074
00:52:13,297 --> 00:52:14,164
[groans]

1075
00:52:14,231 --> 00:52:16,567
-You take that back.
-Aye, I'm sorry.

1076
00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:18,769
You take a long, hard look
at yourself, Jeff.

1077
00:52:19,536 --> 00:52:21,438
[Moncrief] I'm sorry.
I'm not thinking straight.

1078
00:52:23,207 --> 00:52:25,275
-Give me the tape.
-Okay.

1079
00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:29,747
You're doing the right thing.

1080
00:52:33,417 --> 00:52:34,385
Truth time.

1081
00:52:38,322 --> 00:52:40,758
[narrator] Bruce Mindhorn became
the best plainclothes detective

1082
00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,659
the Isle of Man had ever seen.

1083
00:52:42,826 --> 00:52:45,829
Out the way! Coming-- Coming through!

1084
00:52:50,868 --> 00:52:51,835
Oh, God, no.

1085
00:52:51,902 --> 00:52:55,572
[panting] Jasmine, I'm sorry.

1086
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:57,374
What for?

1087
00:52:57,441 --> 00:52:58,909
[gasps] Everything.

1088
00:52:59,810 --> 00:53:02,479
You know about me and your mother
and who I am.

1089
00:53:02,546 --> 00:53:04,548
Yes, yes, sadly I do.

1090
00:53:04,615 --> 00:53:06,517
I want you to know I'm proud of you.

1091
00:53:06,950 --> 00:53:08,752
-Jas-- Can I call you Jas?
-No.

1092
00:53:09,386 --> 00:53:11,922
I want us to get to know each other
really well, yeah?

1093
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:12,856
This is weird.

1094
00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:16,293
I wanna give you my number.
I want us to set up regular phone calls.

1095
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,596
-That's never gonna happen.
-Okay, we'll go at your pace.

1096
00:53:19,663 --> 00:53:21,598
But watch the news, Jasmine,

1097
00:53:21,665 --> 00:53:24,668
because you're gonna see your daddy
blow the lid off this island!

1098
00:53:32,276 --> 00:53:35,846
[Moncrief] So, to sum up,
do we have a deal, then?

1099
00:53:36,513 --> 00:53:38,348
I don't take very kindly to blackmail.

1100
00:53:38,415 --> 00:53:40,784
All right, keep your wig on.

1101
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:43,353
Okay, I'll see you there.

1102
00:53:44,588 --> 00:53:47,524
-So, the simpleton was filming us?
-Yeah, it looks like it.

1103
00:53:49,693 --> 00:53:53,430
I'm starting to think framing Melly
was a really bad idea.

1104
00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:55,732
Get me Mindhorn!

1105
00:53:56,366 --> 00:53:58,302
Mindhorn!

1106
00:53:58,836 --> 00:54:01,505
Do you have a statement to make
about the situation?

1107
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:04,675
The Isle of Man is still
one of the safest and most tranquil

1108
00:54:04,741 --> 00:54:06,810
tourist destinations in the world.

1109
00:54:07,444 --> 00:54:08,879
-[Melly] Get me Mindhorn!
-[grunts]

1110
00:54:09,613 --> 00:54:11,248
-Mindhorn's here!
-What?

1111
00:54:11,315 --> 00:54:13,350
I've got this, chief. Stand your men down.

1112
00:54:15,385 --> 00:54:16,286
Is this the camera?

1113
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:19,389
This man is innocent!

1114
00:54:19,456 --> 00:54:21,959
This tape will be the proof of my word.

1115
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,695
Might wanna swing a lens, go wide.

1116
00:54:24,761 --> 00:54:26,964
Richard, what the hell
do you think you're doing?

1117
00:54:27,698 --> 00:54:29,833
Trust me.
Get one of your boffins to play this.

1118
00:54:30,033 --> 00:54:31,802
It shows that Melly's innocent.

1119
00:54:32,469 --> 00:54:33,504
How do I look?

1120
00:54:33,971 --> 00:54:35,439
Like you might need some help.

1121
00:54:35,906 --> 00:54:37,541
Too late. I work alone.

1122
00:54:39,776 --> 00:54:42,746
I'm coming, Melly!
Detective Mindhorn's on the case!

1123
00:54:43,413 --> 00:54:44,381
[Melly] Mindhorn!

1124
00:54:45,549 --> 00:54:47,284
[grunting]

1125
00:54:47,584 --> 00:54:49,353
Shit. Jesus.

1126
00:54:49,686 --> 00:54:51,855
[panting]

1127
00:54:52,322 --> 00:54:53,056
Oh, God.

1128
00:54:55,425 --> 00:54:56,393
Hi, Mindhorn.

1129
00:54:57,027 --> 00:55:01,532
Mindhorn... is this still
Operation Apocalypse of Justice?

1130
00:55:01,598 --> 00:55:03,567
I know you're innocent.
I've seen the tape.

1131
00:55:03,634 --> 00:55:05,769
This man is innocent! Play the tape!

1132
00:55:06,436 --> 00:55:08,839
We'll play the tape at the station.

1133
00:55:08,906 --> 00:55:10,807
No, no, I'm not going down the station.

1134
00:55:10,874 --> 00:55:12,976
-Play the tape now. Play it now.
-Okay-- Okay. Whoa.

1135
00:55:13,043 --> 00:55:16,480
-He's serious, Patricia, and so am I.
-Yeah.

1136
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:19,650
Okay, people, get ready to witness
some truth bombs.

1137
00:55:22,085 --> 00:55:23,987
You know how to do it, don't you?

1138
00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:27,824
-What?
-I'm gonna shit the truth out, bang.

1139
00:55:27,891 --> 00:55:31,061
-This is the wrong tape.
-My name is Bruce Mindhorn.

1140
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:32,663
He swapped the... Okay.

1141
00:55:32,729 --> 00:55:35,999
Jeffrey Moncrief, who I will kill,
has got the real tape.

1142
00:55:36,066 --> 00:55:39,069
It's in-- It's in the caravan.
We have to go to the caravan.

1143
00:55:39,836 --> 00:55:42,039
We'll do that when you both come down.

1144
00:55:42,706 --> 00:55:47,110
-Richard, is Melly armed?
-No, no, no. Negative.

1145
00:55:47,377 --> 00:55:48,612
No, I have got a gun.

1146
00:55:50,113 --> 00:55:52,849
-This is not a gun. It's not real.
-[Melly] Yeah, it is real.

1147
00:55:52,916 --> 00:55:54,785
-[Richard] It's not real.
-[Melly] It is real.

1148
00:55:54,851 --> 00:55:56,853
-It's not. It's a toy.
-It's not a toy.

1149
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,922
-[gunshot, then all shouting]
-See? I told you.

1150
00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:00,824
-That's a green light. Shoot.
-Go, man.

1151
00:56:00,924 --> 00:56:02,759
-[Melly] Go.
-[Richard] Okay.

1152
00:56:02,826 --> 00:56:04,595
-This way.
-This is not the way to go!

1153
00:56:06,597 --> 00:56:07,731
Call Equity!

1154
00:56:07,798 --> 00:56:09,933
-[Peter] What's the hoo-hah?
-[woman] Thorncroft's gone insane.

1155
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:11,034
This is terrible.

1156
00:56:12,436 --> 00:56:14,137
Wait. Did he sign that DVD thing?

1157
00:56:14,471 --> 00:56:16,673
-Yeah.
-In which case it's fantastic.

1158
00:56:17,140 --> 00:56:20,477
-Stop shooting! I haven't done anything!
-[Melly squawking]

1159
00:56:20,944 --> 00:56:23,480
Stop making that stupid bird noise!

1160
00:56:23,614 --> 00:56:24,948
[man] Stop there!

1161
00:56:25,949 --> 00:56:27,851
-Stop!
-They're heading into the mine.

1162
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:30,687
Stop right there!

1163
00:56:37,961 --> 00:56:39,763
[Melly squawks]

1164
00:56:42,966 --> 00:56:45,602
They've gone again, chief. For now.

1165
00:57:07,057 --> 00:57:08,792
DS Baines.

1166
00:57:09,559 --> 00:57:10,494
Clever boy.

1167
00:57:11,528 --> 00:57:12,796
You're coming with me.

1168
00:57:14,531 --> 00:57:17,668
All I want to know
is who else has seen this tape?

1169
00:57:17,734 --> 00:57:20,704
Oh, no, no, no. I can't reveal my sources.

1170
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:25,776
It was Richard Thorncroft.
This whole thing was his idea.

1171
00:57:25,943 --> 00:57:27,778
And possibly Pat Deville.

1172
00:57:27,844 --> 00:57:28,845
Pat Deville?

1173
00:57:28,912 --> 00:57:30,681
[Moncrief] He picked it up from her house.

1174
00:57:31,748 --> 00:57:33,216
How about 30 grand?

1175
00:57:33,583 --> 00:57:35,018
[chuckles] Jeffrey.

1176
00:57:35,752 --> 00:57:38,522
The last person
who tried to blackmail me...

1177
00:57:38,989 --> 00:57:40,590
is on this tape.

1178
00:57:40,657 --> 00:57:43,860
Only I haven't had a torrid affair
with you, Jeff.

1179
00:57:44,695 --> 00:57:47,731
Let's call it 50 quid
and everybody's happy, eh?

1180
00:57:51,835 --> 00:57:53,937
Great. This isn't the Bronx.

1181
00:57:54,004 --> 00:57:55,672
This is the Isle of Man!

1182
00:57:55,739 --> 00:57:56,940
[bleating]

1183
00:57:59,042 --> 00:58:00,243
[sirens wailing]

1184
00:58:02,512 --> 00:58:04,748
[squawking]

1185
00:58:05,849 --> 00:58:06,783
You okay, Mindhorn?

1186
00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:08,585
[panting] Oh, God. I'm gonna be sick.

1187
00:58:08,652 --> 00:58:09,653
Come on, this way.

1188
00:58:09,853 --> 00:58:10,721
To safety.

1189
00:58:10,787 --> 00:58:12,255
-Where are we going?
-The nest!

1190
00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:14,725
It's lucky you're special forces.

1191
00:58:14,791 --> 00:58:16,727
[grunts, then yelps]

1192
00:58:16,793 --> 00:58:17,894
How much further?

1193
00:58:17,961 --> 00:58:20,731
-[Melly] It's just here.
-[panting, then yelps]

1194
00:58:20,797 --> 00:58:22,833
-[Richard] What's this?
-We've got to jump.

1195
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:24,167
Oh, yeah.

1196
00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:25,969
Yeah, let's just jump off a cliff!

1197
00:58:26,036 --> 00:58:28,005
-Yeah. You first.
-[laughing]

1198
00:58:28,071 --> 00:58:29,072
[Richard screaming]

1199
00:58:30,073 --> 00:58:32,175
[squawking]

1200
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,546
[water splashing]

1201
00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:40,951
It now seems certain
the actor Richard Thorncroft,

1202
00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:43,954
who disappeared two days ago, is dead.

1203
00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:46,289
Thorncroft is the chief suspect
in the murder

1204
00:58:46,556 --> 00:58:49,092
of Mindhorn PR guru Jeffrey Moncrief.

1205
00:58:49,159 --> 00:58:51,828
It is now accepted
that Thorncroft could be suffering

1206
00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:53,597
a severe mental breakdown

1207
00:58:53,663 --> 00:58:56,633
after a long career lull
since the hit show ended.

1208
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:59,169
Even a short walk
can take its toll on the lower legs.

1209
00:58:59,536 --> 00:59:01,738
That's why I use Thrombi-Sox.

1210
00:59:01,805 --> 00:59:03,940
Jeffrey Moncrief, who I will kill...

1211
00:59:04,007 --> 00:59:04,875
[gunshot]

1212
00:59:04,941 --> 00:59:09,179
You can never say that it's a good thing
when someone is dead,

1213
00:59:10,747 --> 00:59:15,952
but maybe with Richard
this has been for the best.

1214
00:59:16,019 --> 00:59:20,657
I keep expecting him
to walk through the door and, uh, say:

1215
00:59:20,724 --> 00:59:24,027
"Hey, Pete, old buddy,
how are the DVD sales going?"

1216
00:59:24,094 --> 00:59:28,565
Because, of course, you know,
Mindhorn is finally released today on DVD.

1217
00:59:28,632 --> 00:59:29,299
Yeah.

1218
00:59:29,766 --> 00:59:32,903
Um, could you stop filming now?
I think I might be about to cry.

1219
00:59:32,969 --> 00:59:35,272
[man] Thorncroft's excursion into
the recording studio

1220
00:59:35,338 --> 00:59:37,674
yielded this album from 1990.

1221
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:40,811
His signature tune,
"Can't Handcuff the Wind,"

1222
00:59:40,877 --> 00:59:43,780
reached number one
in several East European countries.

1223
00:59:43,847 --> 00:59:44,848
["Can't Handcuff the Wind"
playing over speakers]

1224
00:59:44,915 --> 00:59:47,784
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪

1225
00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:51,354
♪ And if you try, you're gonna fail ♪

1226
00:59:55,859 --> 00:59:56,827
Hi.

1227
00:59:58,128 --> 00:59:59,629
You're gonna love this.

1228
00:59:59,696 --> 01:00:02,799
I've made you look
exactly how you used to.

1229
01:00:07,938 --> 01:00:09,206
[woman on TV] You're crazy!

1230
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:10,874
It's perfect.

1231
01:00:12,943 --> 01:00:14,077
I can't move.

1232
01:00:14,144 --> 01:00:15,946
-I glued you into your clothes.
-What?

1233
01:00:16,012 --> 01:00:18,315
There's three rolls of masking tape
around your neck.

1234
01:00:18,381 --> 01:00:19,850
You glued me into my clothes?

1235
01:00:19,916 --> 01:00:22,052
Your hair came off in the sea.

1236
01:00:22,385 --> 01:00:24,621
But it's okay,
'cause I stuck it back on...

1237
01:00:24,988 --> 01:00:26,890
-I can't breathe.
-...with superglue.

1238
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,859
So, it will never come off again.

1239
01:00:28,925 --> 01:00:30,293
[grunting]

1240
01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:32,028
Good, innit?

1241
01:00:33,230 --> 01:00:34,631
[groaning]

1242
01:00:34,731 --> 01:00:35,632
And your eye patch.

1243
01:00:35,699 --> 01:00:36,366
Where are we?

1244
01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:39,002
We are in an underground lair. The nest.

1245
01:00:39,069 --> 01:00:44,841
And this is where we complete
Operation Apocalypse of Justice.

1246
01:00:44,908 --> 01:00:47,644
[chuckles]
Right. First, we need a penknife.

1247
01:00:48,178 --> 01:00:50,914
And this recorder belt. Ha!

1248
01:00:50,981 --> 01:00:52,649
[Melly on recording]
Recorder belt. Ha!

1249
01:00:52,716 --> 01:00:55,785
[laughs] Fake blood
for fooling the baddies, and...

1250
01:00:57,087 --> 01:00:57,988
pretend gun.

1251
01:00:58,722 --> 01:01:01,725
'Cause I'm your partner
and we're working on a case.

1252
01:01:01,791 --> 01:01:05,395
-And it's a good case, isn't it, Mindhorn?
-Yeah, it's a really good case.

1253
01:01:05,896 --> 01:01:08,832
Yeah, just one small problem is
I'm not Mindhorn.

1254
01:01:09,733 --> 01:01:12,402
There is no Mindhorn. Mindhorn isn't real.

1255
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:14,671
He-- He-- He is real.

1256
01:01:14,738 --> 01:01:18,275
-Uh... Truth powder.
-That is merchandise, okay?

1257
01:01:18,341 --> 01:01:21,912
Do you know what merchandise is?
Cheap rubbish we sell to idiots, yeah?

1258
01:01:21,978 --> 01:01:25,182
And by the way, that nearly blinded
four teenagers in Whitby in 1989.

1259
01:01:25,248 --> 01:01:27,117
-Had to be taken off the market.
-Did it?

1260
01:01:27,184 --> 01:01:28,885
Mindhorn is a fictional character

1261
01:01:28,952 --> 01:01:31,154
in a TV show I did
a quarter of a century ago.

1262
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,223
What's a fictional character?

1263
01:01:33,290 --> 01:01:35,125
I'm an actor. Well, I used to be.

1264
01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:37,060
Now I just advertise orthopedic socks.

1265
01:01:37,127 --> 01:01:40,096
And I don't even do that now,
'cause John Nettles got the gig!

1266
01:01:40,764 --> 01:01:43,200
I don't-- I don't understand.

1267
01:01:43,266 --> 01:01:45,702
You don't understand?
Let me clear things up.

1268
01:01:45,769 --> 01:01:48,772
Your parents carked it,
you lost your marbles,

1269
01:01:48,838 --> 01:01:51,975
you got fixated with me
in some weird, creepy way

1270
01:01:52,042 --> 01:01:54,978
which I don't wanna get into.
You think I'm here to rescue you.

1271
01:01:55,045 --> 01:01:57,814
That's not gonna happen.
I'm a self-obsessed arsehole.

1272
01:01:57,881 --> 01:01:59,082
Does that clear things up?

1273
01:01:59,449 --> 01:02:02,953
Paul Melly, wanted in connection
with the murder of Katya Lipinskii,

1274
01:02:03,019 --> 01:02:04,387
is also presumed dead.

1275
01:02:04,454 --> 01:02:07,891
Melly, 32, is believed
to have a mental age of nine.

1276
01:02:07,958 --> 01:02:10,427
-Who's gonna clear my name?
-Nobody.

1277
01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:13,230
There's no evidence.

1278
01:02:13,863 --> 01:02:16,233
We had a tape. The tape's gone. It's over.

1279
01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:19,803
Both of them?

1280
01:02:21,438 --> 01:02:24,007
Both of them?
What do you mean, "both of them"?

1281
01:02:24,074 --> 01:02:25,909
Yeah, I made a copy of the tape.

1282
01:02:26,443 --> 01:02:27,444
You taught me that.

1283
01:02:28,445 --> 01:02:29,512
Always make a copy.

1284
01:02:29,779 --> 01:02:31,381
Well, Mindhorn did.

1285
01:02:31,448 --> 01:02:33,516
Only you're not-- You're not Mindhorn.

1286
01:02:33,783 --> 01:02:34,784
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1287
01:02:35,218 --> 01:02:36,453
I am Mindhorn.

1288
01:02:37,153 --> 01:02:40,023
-What? But you said--
-No, you passed the test.

1289
01:02:40,156 --> 01:02:41,791
Kestrel, well done.

1290
01:02:42,792 --> 01:02:44,761
-Did I?
-You made promotion, partner.

1291
01:02:44,828 --> 01:02:47,897
From now on,
you shall be known as the Falcon.

1292
01:02:48,331 --> 01:02:49,933
No, I prefer Kestrel.

1293
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,835
Kestrel's fine, too. Where's the tape?

1294
01:02:51,901 --> 01:02:55,105
I made a copy of the tape and put it
in your car at Mindhorn Heights.

1295
01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:56,773
Yes.

1296
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:59,943
Now I'm gonna pack the bag
for the finale when we kill the baddies.

1297
01:03:00,010 --> 01:03:01,544
Okay, sounds like a plan, partner.

1298
01:03:01,811 --> 01:03:02,512
I'm gonna head off.

1299
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,115
-I'll give you a signal when I need you.
-What's the signal?

1300
01:03:05,181 --> 01:03:08,051
-Uh... You'll know when you hear it.
-I need to hear it now.

1301
01:03:08,118 --> 01:03:08,985
[whistles]

1302
01:03:09,052 --> 01:03:09,919
No.

1303
01:03:10,453 --> 01:03:11,821
[squawks]

1304
01:03:11,888 --> 01:03:12,989
-Better.
-Good. Okay.

1305
01:03:13,056 --> 01:03:14,491
Take this. Make sure you wear it.

1306
01:03:14,557 --> 01:03:16,393
-What is that?
-It's the recorder belt.

1307
01:03:16,459 --> 01:03:19,296
Recorder belt, okay.
Strapping that on now, Kestrel.

1308
01:03:19,362 --> 01:03:20,230
And this.

1309
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,299
Roger that. Weird plastic radio. Got it.

1310
01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:24,501
-Uh... Does this work?
-No.

1311
01:03:25,335 --> 01:03:27,437
-It does work, actually, FYI.
-Oh, right.

1312
01:03:30,907 --> 01:03:31,875
Who are you calling?

1313
01:03:32,509 --> 01:03:34,444
The only person we can trust.

1314
01:03:44,954 --> 01:03:47,023
-Baines.
-Richard. Wow.

1315
01:03:47,090 --> 01:03:49,359
-Don't ask.
-Thank God you're alive. Where's Melly?

1316
01:03:49,426 --> 01:03:52,595
In a cave. He made a copy of the tape
and he's hidden it at Pat's.

1317
01:03:52,962 --> 01:03:53,997
Whereabouts at Pat's?

1318
01:03:54,064 --> 01:03:56,866
In the garage. In the glove compartment
of the Mindhorn car.

1319
01:03:57,267 --> 01:03:58,134
[Baines] Mm-hm.

1320
01:03:58,368 --> 01:04:01,271
-What have you got the gun for?
-You know too much, Richard.

1321
01:04:02,472 --> 01:04:03,473
I don't know anything.

1322
01:04:04,274 --> 01:04:05,909
I'm actually quite confused.

1323
01:04:05,975 --> 01:04:07,911
You know that I killed Moncrief, right?

1324
01:04:08,578 --> 01:04:09,579
I did not know that.

1325
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:10,513
Well, you do now.

1326
01:04:10,580 --> 01:04:12,615
Uh, not a problem. I can blank it out.

1327
01:04:12,882 --> 01:04:14,017
I have that capacity. I--

1328
01:04:14,084 --> 01:04:17,287
I've blanked out huge chapters of my life.
This is just one more thing.

1329
01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:19,956
Sorry, Richard. Final curtain.

1330
01:04:20,623 --> 01:04:21,524
[squawking]

1331
01:04:28,465 --> 01:04:29,332
[Melly squawks]

1332
01:04:29,399 --> 01:04:30,433
Truth powder.

1333
01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:33,269
[grunts, then shouts]

1334
01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:35,105
-Quick, the gun.
-What is that?

1335
01:04:35,171 --> 01:04:36,039
Come on.

1336
01:04:36,106 --> 01:04:37,574
[Baines coughing]

1337
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:39,409
-[Baines] Jesus Christ!
-[Richard] Bike!

1338
01:04:39,476 --> 01:04:41,077
She's left the keys in the bike.

1339
01:04:44,147 --> 01:04:45,648
-Yes!
-Why did you do that?

1340
01:04:46,182 --> 01:04:49,919
We could have used the bike
to get away, you stupid berk.

1341
01:04:50,453 --> 01:04:52,122
[Baines coughing]

1342
01:04:55,024 --> 01:04:56,526
[cell phone buzzing]

1343
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:01,331
-Hello?
-[Baines over phone] Hi, Pat.

1344
01:05:01,431 --> 01:05:03,032
Yeah, it's DS Baines here.

1345
01:05:03,099 --> 01:05:06,903
I just thought I should tell you
that Richard is alive.

1346
01:05:07,337 --> 01:05:08,371
He's alive?

1347
01:05:08,438 --> 01:05:10,607
Alive, yeah, yeah. Great-- Great news.

1348
01:05:11,074 --> 01:05:11,941
Mixed bag, though.

1349
01:05:12,008 --> 01:05:13,977
He is delusional.

1350
01:05:14,043 --> 01:05:16,146
Oh, God, he's seriously ill, isn't he?

1351
01:05:16,212 --> 01:05:18,648
He is. He's on his way to you now.

1352
01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:21,418
He thinks he's in an old episode
of Mindhorn.

1353
01:05:21,484 --> 01:05:24,921
And I just need you
to keep him there and I will--

1354
01:05:24,988 --> 01:05:26,256
I will come to you, okay?

1355
01:05:26,322 --> 01:05:27,290
So, just wait there.

1356
01:05:27,957 --> 01:05:29,959
[gasping]

1357
01:05:31,561 --> 01:05:32,429
Where's the car?

1358
01:05:34,397 --> 01:05:35,665
No! Where is it?

1359
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:38,201
Where's the bloody car?!

1360
01:05:38,635 --> 01:05:40,270
It should be here!

1361
01:05:41,337 --> 01:05:42,572
It should be--!

1362
01:05:43,973 --> 01:05:45,542
[whimpering, then laughing]

1363
01:05:53,983 --> 01:05:54,651
Richard?

1364
01:05:56,719 --> 01:05:57,687
Are you okay?

1365
01:06:02,025 --> 01:06:04,427
No. I'm having a really bad day.

1366
01:06:05,361 --> 01:06:07,330
-Where's my car?
-Why don't you just--?

1367
01:06:07,397 --> 01:06:09,165
Just come-- Come and sit down.

1368
01:06:09,232 --> 01:06:10,733
Can't sit down. I'm glued in.

1369
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,569
Just calm down and--

1370
01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:14,170
Baines is trying to kill me.

1371
01:06:14,404 --> 01:06:15,438
She's corrupt.

1372
01:06:15,505 --> 01:06:16,506
There's a bald man.

1373
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,742
He's-- He's got cats on his shoes.

1374
01:06:20,009 --> 01:06:23,680
I've seen them. Not real cats. False cats.
Tiny false cats on his shoes.

1375
01:06:23,746 --> 01:06:25,982
Richard, none of this is real.

1376
01:06:26,049 --> 01:06:27,150
It's all real!

1377
01:06:27,650 --> 01:06:30,386
It's come real.
Where's my car? Where's it gone?

1378
01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:31,354
The car?

1379
01:06:31,421 --> 01:06:33,156
Uh, Clive is bringing the car.

1380
01:06:33,223 --> 01:06:35,525
He's bringing the car.
It'll be here in a few minutes.

1381
01:06:36,192 --> 01:06:38,761
-[panting]
-Now, just calm down and talk to me.

1382
01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:40,530
They're coming. I can't wait here.

1383
01:06:40,597 --> 01:06:42,232
Let's talk about-- About us.

1384
01:06:42,298 --> 01:06:43,366
Us? There is no us.

1385
01:06:44,033 --> 01:06:47,670
I blew it. I walked out on the only thing
that ever meant anything to me. You.

1386
01:06:49,739 --> 01:06:53,276
Since I left you,
my life has been really quite bad.

1387
01:06:54,077 --> 01:06:57,247
Richard, it's all right. It's all right.

1388
01:06:57,514 --> 01:07:00,316
Leaving you was the biggest mistake
of my life.

1389
01:07:01,451 --> 01:07:02,485
[Melly squawking]

1390
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:03,786
What is that?

1391
01:07:05,255 --> 01:07:06,155
Kestrel.

1392
01:07:07,257 --> 01:07:08,124
Sorry.

1393
01:07:08,591 --> 01:07:09,459
I'm so sorry.

1394
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:14,097
[Clive laughing] Yes.

1395
01:07:14,163 --> 01:07:15,498
So, he's not dead.

1396
01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:17,734
He just fell asleep on the sunbed.

1397
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:19,669
Put down the gardening equipment, Clive.

1398
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:25,174
Get out of my house before I strim
that stupid fucking wig off.

1399
01:07:25,241 --> 01:07:29,045
Where's my car?!

1400
01:07:29,112 --> 01:07:30,313
Don't tell him, Clive.

1401
01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:33,816
Pete took it for the parade.

1402
01:07:34,484 --> 01:07:35,385
What's going on?

1403
01:07:35,451 --> 01:07:37,754
Stay away from him, Jasmine.
His brain's come loose.

1404
01:07:37,820 --> 01:07:40,757
Whatever happens next,
I want you to remember two things.

1405
01:07:41,558 --> 01:07:43,293
One, I'm innocent.

1406
01:07:44,193 --> 01:07:47,463
And two, Daddy loves you.

1407
01:07:52,201 --> 01:07:54,170
[Richard grunting]

1408
01:07:54,237 --> 01:07:57,373
Oh, shit. Oh, no. Dear.
These are nothing to do with me.

1409
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:59,542
Oh, Richard. Dirty, dirty Richard.

1410
01:07:59,609 --> 01:08:00,743
You're pathetic.

1411
01:08:01,277 --> 01:08:02,278
These aren't mine.

1412
01:08:02,712 --> 01:08:03,746
What are all these?

1413
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:07,317
They're from my, uh, pen pal
in, uh, France.

1414
01:08:11,354 --> 01:08:12,622
[Pat] These are all from Richard.

1415
01:08:13,856 --> 01:08:15,458
I was trying to protect you, Pat.

1416
01:08:16,793 --> 01:08:17,827
The man is poison.

1417
01:08:20,463 --> 01:08:21,397
I'm going to work.

1418
01:08:27,470 --> 01:08:28,638
[Richard] There she blows.

1419
01:08:28,705 --> 01:08:31,140
[Melly] And a load of fake Mindhorns.

1420
01:08:36,312 --> 01:08:39,682
I really do think this could be
the best Manx Day we've ever had.

1421
01:08:40,350 --> 01:08:41,451
Sorry I'm late.

1422
01:08:41,517 --> 01:08:43,553
Better late than never, Pat.

1423
01:08:43,620 --> 01:08:44,554
Um...

1424
01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:48,391
I'll be making my speech
slightly later than scheduled.

1425
01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:51,861
I've provided copies for you all.

1426
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:54,530
They're on the table in the entrance hall.

1427
01:08:55,164 --> 01:08:56,299
Thanks, everyone.

1428
01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:58,668
Go enjoy the madness.

1429
01:08:58,735 --> 01:09:00,203
[chuckles] All right?

1430
01:09:00,269 --> 01:09:01,270
Okay, thanks.

1431
01:09:04,907 --> 01:09:06,342
Pat, could I have a word?

1432
01:09:06,442 --> 01:09:08,845
-[man 1] I'll see you back at the office.
-[man 2] At the office. Yeah.

1433
01:09:08,911 --> 01:09:09,779
All right.

1434
01:09:11,180 --> 01:09:13,816
-Nice to meet you actually.
-Yeah. I must give you my card.

1435
01:09:19,922 --> 01:09:21,691
Pat, Pat, Pat.

1436
01:09:23,626 --> 01:09:24,827
You know, don't you?

1437
01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:33,836
I'm in a bit of a pickle, aren't I?

1438
01:09:34,470 --> 01:09:35,738
I mean, you're a journalist.

1439
01:09:35,805 --> 01:09:39,342
You're not gonna keep it to yourself,
are you? Something this big?

1440
01:09:40,610 --> 01:09:42,478
How can I let you leave this room?

1441
01:09:43,780 --> 01:09:47,950
I absolutely cannot have people
finding out that I'm bald.

1442
01:09:55,792 --> 01:09:57,694
I think bald men are sexy.

1443
01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:01,931
Yeah, I think you're right.

1444
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:03,533
[cell phone buzzing] Oh.

1445
01:10:03,900 --> 01:10:05,201
I'll have to take this.

1446
01:10:06,669 --> 01:10:09,439
[Baines] The tape's at the parade.
I'm going after them.

1447
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,243
She knows.

1448
01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:25,488
Welcome, one and all,
to the Manx Day parade.

1449
01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,957
We're gonna have some great fun.

1450
01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:30,426
Thank you.

1451
01:10:30,893 --> 01:10:34,931
I wonder who's gonna win
today's Float of the Year competition.

1452
01:10:34,997 --> 01:10:37,633
Could it be the really big spider?

1453
01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:40,937
Or the two massive papier-mâché heads?

1454
01:10:41,003 --> 01:10:44,574
Or perhaps the crazy caterpillar?
Runner-up last year.

1455
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:47,877
Fingers crossed
for no more trapped ankles.

1456
01:10:47,944 --> 01:10:52,715
And there's Trevor
in his intergalactic mobility scooter.

1457
01:10:52,782 --> 01:10:54,684
The Windjammer float there.

1458
01:10:55,551 --> 01:10:56,886
Always good fun.

1459
01:10:57,253 --> 01:11:01,457
It's the most successful TV program
ever made on the Isle of Man.

1460
01:11:01,691 --> 01:11:04,327
Oh, and, look, it's the villain.

1461
01:11:04,761 --> 01:11:08,297
But Windjammer disarms him
and saves the day.

1462
01:11:08,698 --> 01:11:09,565
Super stuff.

1463
01:11:09,832 --> 01:11:13,536
-New this year, the Mindhorn contingent.
-Oh, look!

1464
01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:15,505
Remember Mindhorn, folks?

1465
01:11:15,905 --> 01:11:19,475
Mindhorn, of course,
originally played by, um...

1466
01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:21,878
Oh, and who's this?

1467
01:11:21,944 --> 01:11:25,882
Another Mindhorn and a crazy person.

1468
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,283
A sort of chicken man.

1469
01:11:35,324 --> 01:11:38,861
I don't remember the episode
"Mindhorn and the Chicken Man."

1470
01:11:38,928 --> 01:11:41,364
But, uh, what's Mindhorn doing now?

1471
01:11:41,564 --> 01:11:46,769
No doubt finding some crucial piece
of evidence to uncover the truth.

1472
01:11:48,037 --> 01:11:50,773
And here comes the baddie.

1473
01:11:51,507 --> 01:11:52,375
Oh, no.

1474
01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:54,577
[grunts, then crowd cheering]

1475
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:57,013
Oh-ho-ho. Wonderful look-a-like there.

1476
01:11:57,079 --> 01:12:01,851
Doesn't she look like Manx TV's
very own Pat Deville?

1477
01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:03,786
[engine revving]

1478
01:12:04,654 --> 01:12:05,555
Go, go, go!

1479
01:12:05,621 --> 01:12:06,689
I can't make it go.

1480
01:12:06,756 --> 01:12:09,659
I knew you hadn't passed your test,
you naughty liar.

1481
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:14,530
You can take my woman,
but you can't take my fucking car.

1482
01:12:14,964 --> 01:12:16,799
-Can't make it go!
-The handbrake's on.

1483
01:12:16,866 --> 01:12:18,067
[Richard] Where's the handbrake?

1484
01:12:18,334 --> 01:12:20,636
-It's over there.
-You're like a Formula champion.

1485
01:12:21,404 --> 01:12:22,438
Oh, shit!

1486
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:23,506
[crowd groans]

1487
01:12:24,974 --> 01:12:26,642
[man] Fantastic!

1488
01:12:27,076 --> 01:12:28,778
Full marks to the stuntman.

1489
01:12:29,445 --> 01:12:30,112
I wasn't ready.

1490
01:12:30,379 --> 01:12:32,048
-I can't actually drive.
-Get out.

1491
01:12:32,114 --> 01:12:32,982
I never learnt.

1492
01:12:33,049 --> 01:12:34,817
-[Pat] Oh, shut up!
-[Richard] I never had to.

1493
01:12:35,451 --> 01:12:37,653
I was driven everywhere,
I didn't have to bother.

1494
01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:39,589
Hi. Yep, hello.

1495
01:12:41,891 --> 01:12:45,394
[man]
And here's the baddie retrieving her gun.

1496
01:12:45,461 --> 01:12:47,663
-[Pat] Get in the car!
-What?

1497
01:12:47,730 --> 01:12:48,865
-[gunshot]
-Oh!

1498
01:12:48,931 --> 01:12:49,866
[man] Classic!

1499
01:12:52,068 --> 01:12:53,669
And now the nail-biting finale.

1500
01:12:53,736 --> 01:12:54,937
[gunshot]

1501
01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:01,978
Oh, bad luck, baddie, and that's Mindhorn.

1502
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:03,946
Winner of the day in my view.

1503
01:13:04,547 --> 01:13:05,414
Great stuff.

1504
01:13:09,819 --> 01:13:11,153
[yelling]

1505
01:13:11,420 --> 01:13:14,991
We're flying to the truth!

1506
01:13:15,591 --> 01:13:16,659
[Melly squawking]

1507
01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:32,875
[Richard] What are we doing?

1508
01:13:33,442 --> 01:13:34,443
It's a dead end.

1509
01:13:35,444 --> 01:13:36,112
Where are we?

1510
01:13:37,179 --> 01:13:38,915
This is your cove, Mindhorn.

1511
01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:40,850
-What?
-Where do we go from here?

1512
01:13:41,183 --> 01:13:42,518
Well, the tunnels.

1513
01:13:43,853 --> 01:13:45,488
-Melly.
-Melly, come on, come on.

1514
01:13:47,924 --> 01:13:49,558
[groaning]

1515
01:13:50,159 --> 01:13:51,527
[Pat] What's wrong?

1516
01:13:53,162 --> 01:13:55,631
That was-- That was great, wasn't it?

1517
01:13:57,199 --> 01:13:58,434
You've been shot.

1518
01:13:59,201 --> 01:14:00,069
[Richard] You're bleeding.

1519
01:14:00,136 --> 01:14:01,704
No, no, no, don't worry.

1520
01:14:01,771 --> 01:14:02,872
It's fake blood.

1521
01:14:04,473 --> 01:14:05,608
Oh, no, that's there.

1522
01:14:06,075 --> 01:14:07,610
We have to get you some help.

1523
01:14:08,110 --> 01:14:09,211
I'm dying, Mindhorn.

1524
01:14:09,478 --> 01:14:10,613
No. No, you're not.

1525
01:14:11,480 --> 01:14:12,214
This is the end.

1526
01:14:12,982 --> 01:14:14,750
-No.
-Go on without me. Leave me here.

1527
01:14:14,817 --> 01:14:15,751
I'm not leaving you.

1528
01:14:18,955 --> 01:14:20,456
Because I'm a good partner?

1529
01:14:20,990 --> 01:14:23,726
You're the best damn partner
a man could ask for, Kestrel.

1530
01:14:24,694 --> 01:14:26,195
Your parents would be proud of you.

1531
01:14:27,163 --> 01:14:28,030
I'm proud of you.

1532
01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:31,167
Thanks, Mindhorn.

1533
01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:35,037
It's been an honor to be your partner.

1534
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:39,108
Well, it's the best 15 minutes of my life.

1535
01:14:41,844 --> 01:14:43,145
Here's the copy of the tape.

1536
01:14:43,813 --> 01:14:44,680
Now go.

1537
01:14:45,147 --> 01:14:48,985
Promise me...
you'll clear my name, Mindhorn.

1538
01:14:50,019 --> 01:14:50,886
I promise.

1539
01:14:50,953 --> 01:14:51,954
And promise me...

1540
01:14:52,955 --> 01:14:55,725
you two will finally get it together.

1541
01:14:56,225 --> 01:14:58,194
I'm sorry, I can't promise you that.

1542
01:14:59,195 --> 01:15:00,997
I mean... yes.

1543
01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:04,000
Give him a kiss, Angela.

1544
01:15:13,175 --> 01:15:15,911
One last thing, Mindhorn.

1545
01:15:16,545 --> 01:15:20,616
Tell me the truth
about Richard Thorncroft.

1546
01:15:21,917 --> 01:15:22,952
Who is he?

1547
01:15:26,155 --> 01:15:28,190
Let's just say
he's someone I used to know.

1548
01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:30,826
Right. That's...

1549
01:15:41,137 --> 01:15:42,772
You poor, deluded fool.

1550
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:46,075
I am Richard Thorncroft.

1551
01:15:59,955 --> 01:16:01,157
At least he didn't die in vain.

1552
01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:06,095
What the hell is this?

1553
01:16:09,098 --> 01:16:11,233
Yep. It's Plasticine.

1554
01:16:12,601 --> 01:16:14,837
Yep. It's a Plasticine copy.

1555
01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:16,105
[laughing]

1556
01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:18,307
It's Plasticine.

1557
01:16:21,677 --> 01:16:22,878
[screaming]

1558
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:32,321
Quick.

1559
01:16:40,729 --> 01:16:42,364
[grunting]

1560
01:16:55,811 --> 01:16:57,980
[Richard on recording]
It's time for the Apocalypse of Justice.

1561
01:17:08,958 --> 01:17:10,292
[rocks clattering]

1562
01:17:10,359 --> 01:17:11,393
Baines, don't shoot.

1563
01:17:13,662 --> 01:17:14,363
We've got the tape.

1564
01:17:15,231 --> 01:17:16,799
Richard has it. It's safe.

1565
01:17:16,866 --> 01:17:17,900
I'll take you to him.

1566
01:17:17,967 --> 01:17:19,869
Maybe we could strike a deal.

1567
01:17:19,935 --> 01:17:23,806
-I don't wanna see the mayor go down.
-Pat, is that the best you can do?

1568
01:17:24,773 --> 01:17:26,408
I thought you were a good actress.

1569
01:17:26,876 --> 01:17:28,010
[Richard] She's good enough.

1570
01:17:28,711 --> 01:17:29,712
Lose the piece.

1571
01:17:33,849 --> 01:17:34,950
Turn around.

1572
01:17:35,017 --> 01:17:35,885
Slowly.

1573
01:17:36,919 --> 01:17:37,987
Hands in the air.

1574
01:17:40,289 --> 01:17:41,857
Now who's holding all the aces?

1575
01:17:42,258 --> 01:17:43,192
[Richard shouts]

1576
01:17:43,259 --> 01:17:44,126
Me, I think.

1577
01:17:44,793 --> 01:17:47,129
-You idiot!
-I didn't know she was gonna do that.

1578
01:17:47,196 --> 01:17:48,364
[gunshot]

1579
01:17:48,430 --> 01:17:49,798
[grunts]

1580
01:17:49,865 --> 01:17:50,933
No!

1581
01:17:51,100 --> 01:17:52,168
Patricia!

1582
01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:54,904
Patricia, Patricia.

1583
01:17:55,104 --> 01:17:55,971
Richard.

1584
01:17:56,839 --> 01:17:57,706
I'm so sorry.

1585
01:17:58,741 --> 01:17:59,742
No, I'm sorry.

1586
01:18:00,442 --> 01:18:02,444
I never knew
you wrote me all those letters.

1587
01:18:02,711 --> 01:18:04,046
Shh. That doesn't matter now.

1588
01:18:04,113 --> 01:18:05,714
Clive hid them from me.

1589
01:18:05,781 --> 01:18:06,448
What a wanker.

1590
01:18:08,117 --> 01:18:10,152
I'm sorry that I never believed you.

1591
01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:11,353
I'm sorry.

1592
01:18:13,756 --> 01:18:14,857
I love you, Richard.

1593
01:18:16,358 --> 01:18:18,060
[coughing]

1594
01:18:22,965 --> 01:18:23,866
Fucking hell.

1595
01:18:23,933 --> 01:18:25,201
Where's the tape, Richard?

1596
01:18:28,237 --> 01:18:29,305
There is no tape.

1597
01:18:30,439 --> 01:18:31,473
It's fake.

1598
01:18:32,174 --> 01:18:34,043
Like everything else in my life!

1599
01:18:35,077 --> 01:18:36,946
Without her, I may as well be dead.

1600
01:18:37,012 --> 01:18:38,814
[Richard groaning]

1601
01:18:39,481 --> 01:18:40,783
Just a figure of speech.

1602
01:18:44,086 --> 01:18:44,954
Why?

1603
01:18:46,755 --> 01:18:47,756
Why?

1604
01:18:50,025 --> 01:18:53,462
The mayor's my uncle...
so I've gotta clean up his mess.

1605
01:18:54,496 --> 01:18:55,497
Family's family.

1606
01:18:57,399 --> 01:18:59,001
My family runs Man.

1607
01:18:59,068 --> 01:18:59,935
Call an ambulance.

1608
01:19:00,869 --> 01:19:01,737
It's not too late.

1609
01:19:02,271 --> 01:19:03,172
I can forget.

1610
01:19:03,839 --> 01:19:06,508
-What, that I killed Moncrief?
-Yeah, that.

1611
01:19:10,246 --> 01:19:12,481
I-- I can pretend I don't know that.

1612
01:19:13,148 --> 01:19:14,016
I can pretend.

1613
01:19:14,750 --> 01:19:17,086
-You're not that good an actor.
-[Richard grunts]

1614
01:19:23,025 --> 01:19:23,926
[man] Baines!

1615
01:19:24,893 --> 01:19:25,861
You all right?

1616
01:19:26,328 --> 01:19:27,396
He shot Pat!

1617
01:19:28,797 --> 01:19:31,066
He killed her
and then he tried to kill me and I, uh...

1618
01:19:31,133 --> 01:19:32,835
[sirens wailing]

1619
01:19:32,901 --> 01:19:34,303
I had to take him down!

1620
01:19:34,370 --> 01:19:36,205
I had to take him down!

1621
01:19:40,376 --> 01:19:41,310
-Baines?
-Chief.

1622
01:19:42,044 --> 01:19:43,879
There was nothing I could do. It was--

1623
01:19:44,813 --> 01:19:46,081
There was nothing I could do.

1624
01:19:50,252 --> 01:19:51,520
Nice working with you again.

1625
01:19:52,421 --> 01:19:54,023
What's going on, Thorncroft?

1626
01:19:55,057 --> 01:19:56,825
[Baines on recording]
The mayor's my uncle,

1627
01:19:56,892 --> 01:19:58,027
so I've gotta clean up his mess.

1628
01:19:58,093 --> 01:19:59,962
-[Richard] I can forget.
-[Baines]That I killed Moncrief?

1629
01:20:00,029 --> 01:20:01,964
-Yeah.
-You're not that good an actor.

1630
01:20:02,031 --> 01:20:02,898
Aren't I?

1631
01:20:03,232 --> 01:20:04,099
Heh.

1632
01:20:06,135 --> 01:20:07,303
-[Clive] Oh, hey, now.
-[Jasmine] Mom.

1633
01:20:07,369 --> 01:20:09,138
-[Clive] Hey, hey. Not cool.
-[Pat] Jasmine.

1634
01:20:09,238 --> 01:20:12,474
-Both sets of keys, give them to me.
-Think about what you're doing.

1635
01:20:12,541 --> 01:20:14,476
Keys now. Do it or I'll blow her away.

1636
01:20:14,543 --> 01:20:17,246
Get your filthy hands off my daughter.

1637
01:20:18,047 --> 01:20:20,215
[laughing] She's not your daughter.

1638
01:20:20,883 --> 01:20:22,384
She's Windjammer's daughter.

1639
01:20:23,886 --> 01:20:24,953
[Pat] Clive, do something.

1640
01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:28,524
-I'm not wearing the appropriate footwear.
-Stand down, Clive.

1641
01:20:29,091 --> 01:20:30,459
It's time I did my own stunts.

1642
01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:39,401
It's Ginga time.

1643
01:20:55,417 --> 01:20:56,585
This...

1644
01:20:57,519 --> 01:21:00,322
is the Ginga.

1645
01:21:00,956 --> 01:21:02,558
[gun shots]

1646
01:21:02,624 --> 01:21:04,093
[shouting]

1647
01:21:04,159 --> 01:21:06,061
[gun shots continue]

1648
01:21:11,166 --> 01:21:15,137
I'm moving between the air.

1649
01:21:22,277 --> 01:21:24,079
I'm here.

1650
01:21:26,448 --> 01:21:30,386
I'm the bringer of the Ginga!

1651
01:21:32,988 --> 01:21:34,456
And that's capoeira.

1652
01:21:38,927 --> 01:21:39,595
Jas.

1653
01:21:42,631 --> 01:21:43,932
The mayor was her uncle.

1654
01:21:44,066 --> 01:21:46,201
Seems I was right
about the limited gene pool.

1655
01:21:46,268 --> 01:21:47,436
[both laughing]

1656
01:21:47,669 --> 01:21:50,205
I am sorry
that I rode you so hard back then.

1657
01:21:50,272 --> 01:21:52,908
I hope we can put our differences
behind us.

1658
01:21:52,975 --> 01:21:53,675
I will if you will.

1659
01:21:53,942 --> 01:21:57,446
And, if it helps at all,
I was pretty wasted all those years ago.

1660
01:21:57,613 --> 01:21:59,982
I don't even remember
that night with your wife.

1661
01:22:00,048 --> 01:22:02,017
-What night with my wife?
-That's the spirit.

1662
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:07,055
Oh, my God, Richard, that was so brave.
It's a miracle that you weren't shot.

1663
01:22:07,489 --> 01:22:09,925
Ah, no more lies. I have to be honest.

1664
01:22:09,992 --> 01:22:11,560
I knew there were blanks in that gun.

1665
01:22:12,494 --> 01:22:14,430
Um... No, no, this is Baines' gun.

1666
01:22:14,496 --> 01:22:15,998
That was live ammunition.

1667
01:22:19,468 --> 01:22:20,402
[Pat] Richard.

1668
01:22:22,571 --> 01:22:23,572
I've got you.

1669
01:22:24,406 --> 01:22:25,541
You've got me, all right.

1670
01:22:27,176 --> 01:22:28,277
And that is the truth.

1671
01:22:28,977 --> 01:22:29,711
[chuckles]

1672
01:24:42,144 --> 01:24:44,079
["Can't Handcuff the Wind" playing]

1673
01:24:54,222 --> 01:24:56,491
♪ We had some fun together ♪

1674
01:24:56,558 --> 01:25:01,129
♪ But I never
I never promised you forever ♪

1675
01:25:02,197 --> 01:25:03,432
♪ No, no, no ♪

1676
01:25:04,333 --> 01:25:07,569
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪

1677
01:25:08,370 --> 01:25:11,273
♪ But if you try, you're gonna fail ♪

1678
01:25:12,841 --> 01:25:16,178
♪ It's like trying
To put thunder in jail ♪

1679
01:25:16,244 --> 01:25:19,448
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪

1680
01:25:20,582 --> 01:25:23,385
♪ But if you try, you're gonna fail ♪

1681
01:25:25,153 --> 01:25:27,856
♪ It's like trying
To put thunder in jail ♪

1682
01:25:28,357 --> 01:25:30,225
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪

1683
01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:32,794
♪ I feel the pull of the open road ♪

1684
01:25:32,861 --> 01:25:34,863
♪ I'm headin' out into the night ♪

1685
01:25:36,164 --> 01:25:38,367
♪ Gotta loosen up your grip, girl ♪

1686
01:25:38,767 --> 01:25:41,136
♪ You're holding on a little too tight ♪

1687
01:25:42,237 --> 01:25:44,740
♪ We roll the dice
We played the game ♪

1688
01:25:44,806 --> 01:25:47,175
♪ Now every card's been turned ♪

1689
01:25:48,143 --> 01:25:53,515
♪ Girl, if you're trying to hold onto fire
You're gonna get burned ♪

1690
01:25:53,582 --> 01:25:55,751
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪

1691
01:25:56,418 --> 01:25:58,920
♪ And if you try, you're gonna fail ♪

1692
01:26:00,922 --> 01:26:03,792
♪ It's like tryin'
To put thunder in jail ♪

1693
01:26:04,526 --> 01:26:06,328
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪

1694
01:26:06,395 --> 01:26:08,463
♪ And if you're trying to fence me in ♪

1695
01:26:08,530 --> 01:26:12,734
♪ I'll break down those fences
And run like a stallion in the night ♪

1696
01:26:12,801 --> 01:26:16,338
♪ I'm gonna burn so bright
Like a white hot flame ♪

1697
01:26:16,405 --> 01:26:19,207
♪ Till everybody knows my name ♪

1698
01:26:29,818 --> 01:26:32,587
♪ The open road, she calls my name ♪

1699
01:26:32,654 --> 01:26:34,890
♪ There's itching in my feet ♪

1700
01:26:36,224 --> 01:26:38,660
♪ I got an engine that you can't tame ♪

1701
01:26:38,727 --> 01:26:40,796
♪ Even with your mouth so sweet ♪

1702
01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:44,466
♪ A thousand kisses and sad goodbyes ♪

1703
01:26:44,533 --> 01:26:46,768
♪ But it's too late for any more ♪

1704
01:26:47,836 --> 01:26:50,472
♪ The ferry to the mainland
Leaves at six ♪

1705
01:26:50,539 --> 01:26:52,874
♪ I gotta be there 20 minutes before ♪

1706
01:26:52,941 --> 01:26:55,777
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪

1707
01:26:56,578 --> 01:26:59,381
♪ And if you try, you're gonna fail ♪

1708
01:27:00,982 --> 01:27:04,519
♪ It's like trying
To put thunder in jail ♪

1709
01:27:04,586 --> 01:27:07,389
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪