Thread 60: Stories 91-97

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>Vekir
"Steam Gauge"
'Quicksilver Sash'

"Alright, nothin' under THAT bunk..."

'Are we seriously doing this?'

"Hey, our dear brothers in...hooves? Whatever, the other guards that fucked off said they did it because they went through a bunch of mental stress, right? Well surely they wouldn't get mad if we were to avoid that stress buildup ourselves."

'By pawning the shit they left behind?'

"I want nice things, Sash, I'm not gonna get those things if I'm not a little industrious. Now leeeet's see what's under heeeere-"

>HALLO!

"GAH-OW! FUCK!"

>Vekir does not desire a mate.

'Oh, it's one of the cave guys, the little one.'

"What the-what were you doing under there!?"

>Vekir saw guard pony searching for treasures unknown beneath the beds and wanted to join in.

"Hey, don't steal the stuff I haven't stole yet!"

>Vekir is ashamed.

"You should be...now gimme whatever you've found."

>...Vekir has found nothing, though.

'Ha.'

"Damn it! Dumb, racist, lazy, AND OCD!? Those guys had to pick ONE thing not to suck at."

>Whyfor does the guard pony pout?

'Don't worry about him, is there something we can help you with?'

>Hm? Oh yes yes, Vekir searches for the Jackie the Daw so that she may give Vekir her knowledge.

"Wait, you mean the liar who said the thing about fighting at a birth making the baby come out with tentacles?"

>...maybe?

'Last I saw her she was walking with Bronze Pommel and...what's his name? The changeling? The one from the-'

"32, yeah, I know who you're talking about. They probably went to go get drunk."

>...

"Answer your question, did we?"

>...Zhetri...Tuuhl...?

"No, 32. You guys have seriously got to work on your Eque-WHOA!"

Like a bullet she shot past him, crashing out the door.

>ZHETRI TUUUUUUUUUUHL!

'...well that was weird, huh?'

"She...she knocked over one of the bunk beds...revealing a sweet necklace! COME TO PAPA!"

'Uh...that's the Lieutenant's bunk.'

"...huh."

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OMAKE!

>Spitfire
“8-bit”
‘Gaffer’
~~~~

>…You know the stallion we’re all bashing on wrote a song with you guys in it, right?

“What…?”

‘Ha, impossible. We’re just the skid marks on the road he blazes down.’

“Yeah, there’s no way he’d include us in anything. Definitely not anything recent….”

>No, really, look. I got the lyrics right here. It was pretty catchy so I wanted to learn the words. Hold on just a sec….

“I’m calling bullshit.”

‘Seconded. There’s no way Mr. Cock of the Walk would ever-’

Spitfire cleared her throat.

>You need to take a minute, recognize your self-worth.

>Gaffy, 8-bit, and 'Dex? Don’t sell yourselves short.

>You’re guys are my pals, that’s something that’ll never change.

>I may be up in this castle but I’m always in range.

“…”

‘…’

>Annnnd then it pretty much just goes on from there to… to… guys? Why are your shoulders quivering? Are you… you aren’t crying, are you?

“C-course not… that’d be stupid, really stupid… t-to get emotional over something l-like that…”

>…I can see the tracks of water.

‘L-liquid pride. N-nothing more than liquid pride….’

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OMAKE!
>88
"Guard"
~~~~

"...Borred...."

*POP!*

>GAAHHHH!

"HOLY SHIT AHHHH!... Where the hell did you come from!?"

>I DON'T KNOW! I heard someone saying they were late, then something fluffy ran into me, then I fell WAY too far and somehow didn't die, and a whole bunch of guys talked to me and told me a whole bunch of crazy shit was happening!

"...Was it?"

>I DON'T KNOW!

"Huh... sounds like you missed out."

>YEAH THAT KIND OF SUCKED

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NCOMAKE!
>SA
"18"
'Cadence'
~~~~

>Hey, this date is actually going pretty well!

"Yeah! I mean, who'd have thought we'd all talk about shared interests instead of just spazzing out at each other?"

'Right? And that the hobby we discussed would be one we actually enjoy instead of the 'mature' ones.'

>Seriously, it's like we're just a bunch of normal people in a newish situation!

"Kuh-ray-zee!"

'..."

>...

"...I want to talk about sex."

>GOD me too.

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OMAKE!
>29
"MM"
'?'
~~~~

>...

"Something wrong, niney?"

>I feel like I'm being watched.

"...Besides the hundred or so kids surrounding you?"

>Yes, besides that.

"Well, there's nobody around."

>Huh... I don't suppose that would make sense anyway, if someone wanted to find me it wouldn't be that hard.

"Right? Who wouldn't expect you to be on the edge of town, about to swordfight a ghost?"

>It's just common knowledge.

"..."

>...EN GARD!

~~~~

'WHERE THE FUCK IS HE I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN THIS TOWN TEN TIMES HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO FIND A DAMN CHANGELING... Oh! Wait! He hangs out with that school aged one, maybe he's in this school over here! Brilliant!'

~~~~

"Did you just hear a scream?"

>ONLY MY OWN!

"He is pretty good with the sword."

>PAIN!

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NC
>AJ
"Celestia"
'DT'
~~~

>Hey, Tia? Got a question.

"You know what? I honestly want to hear this one."

>Are ya'll on drugs?

"...Explain."

'FOR THE PURITY OF EQUESTRIA!'

>...Ah' really don't think Ah' need to.

'DEATH TO THE BUG MONSTERS!'

"...She's got a great work ethic and strategies though..."

>Really?

"..."

>...

"...I'm so sorry."

'SEIG HEIL!'

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Non-Canon Pinkie Preview

>Pinkie
~~~~~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BL3DuLkrtA
>The date with Shining, Cadence, and 18 is on! 88 has been left alone to her own devices and Vekir has found out about 32.
>18's plans for a perfect date becomes a disaster when a chunk of the gunclub decide to carry out their prank. The Cutie Mark Crusaders get wrapped in a conspiracy. Potatojack continues trying to avoid Blueblood and my friends get suspicious of my nightly activities. Find out what happens next time in thread 61: A Game of Chairs...and of course, ambitious fanservice!
>Let me just get this out of the way.
She picks up a phone and makes a call.
>Hello? Princess Luna? Don't question how I'm calling your horn right now I'm in trouble. I'm stuck in a dream and I need you to get me out. Thanks.
Hangs up.

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